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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 20 Aug 08 - 01:25 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 10:29 AM
MMario 20 Aug 08 - 10:23 AM
Acme 20 Aug 08 - 10:12 AM
MMario 20 Aug 08 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 08 - 09:34 AM
Acme 20 Aug 08 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 08 - 09:08 AM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 09:39 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 07:59 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 07:39 PM
Acme 19 Aug 08 - 06:01 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 04:47 PM
MMario 19 Aug 08 - 04:12 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 04:00 PM
MMario 19 Aug 08 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 01:35 PM
MMario 19 Aug 08 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 19 Aug 08 - 11:25 AM
Acme 19 Aug 08 - 11:16 AM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 08 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 08 - 08:33 AM
Acme 18 Aug 08 - 11:28 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 08 - 06:26 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 08 - 04:14 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 03:48 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 03:47 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 08 - 03:45 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 03:34 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 03:31 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 03:26 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 03:21 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 02:34 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 02:22 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 02:07 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 01:59 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 01:30 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 08 - 12:37 PM
Amos 18 Aug 08 - 11:19 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 01:25 PM

I have no mortgage on my home, but even so there always seems to be a bit too much month left over at the end of every pay check.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 10:29 AM

Well done, well done, my good Rapaire!
Well done, well done to you!
So well you apply the Golden Butt Kiss
That thou earns't a Golden Screw.


A

(Seriously, congrats on a good review, and I know it was well-earned.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 10:23 AM

Is it okay if we use the sofa as a trampoline?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 10:12 AM

I have to go to work, so the mortgage can get paid on time. You guys carry on, and don't bleed on the carpet over that big number. No stacking or turning over the furniture, and leave the swords and guns OUTSIDE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:48 AM

someone must be performing the loaves and the fishes with budget!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:34 AM

Ah, yeah. Effective October 1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:13 AM

Did you get a raise with that review?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:08 AM

Okay, Amos. That's enough. I'm gonna tell it like it is.

I had my annual Performance Evaluation by the Board of Trustees last evening and they kept me on for another year. After what they said about me I was flown home by the flights of angels that are mine to command, lest I dash my foot against a stone. This morning I took a short walk, skipping merrily across the water left on the grass blades from the sprinklers, and I can't wait to surprise the boaters on the Reservoir by walking out and asking if they have any Grey Poupon.

More than just that, they asked my staff for input. Because of that input a bright glow now surrounds me, blinding those who try to look upon me when I have the rheostat all the way up. I pal around with Moses and Elijah and a sometimes a cloud will form and a voice like thunder says, "This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Don't piss him off."

If you'd like, I send you a hem of my garment so you can be cured by its touch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 10:39 PM

Thou art Jesus' Favourite Ham,
He has made thou what thou Am;
He has clothed thee in thy cloak,
He inspires your bad jokes;
He provides both health and tumor.
Would he had a Sense of humour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 09:39 PM

I shall now recite my favorite poem (favourite poem, in those countries with spelling difficulties):

I am Jesus' little lamb
He has made me what I am
He will wash me white as snow
What a dirty job for little Jesus!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 08:35 PM

You should listen to your muthah, Mister Unplannedcaused Whatever....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 07:59 PM

You may consider me as the Uncaused Cause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 07:39 PM

I think the Prime Mover invents these little contretemps for himself in order to have some adventures in humility, even though his Mom told him to knock off the slumming.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 06:01 PM

Just so you weren't called suck sphincter.






























I just grossed myself out with that one. Familiarity with rim shots doesn't mean they are appealing. (It means one is running unfiltered Google in the grown-up mode. But anyway, yech.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 05:03 PM

Prolly cuz you threw all the information you could get into a story, from the crazed aunt in the attic to the kitchen succinct.

Either that or he thought you were a succinctor or some kind.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 04:47 PM

When I was a new editor one of the reporters told me that I was succinct. Or something like that. He said I sucked something, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 04:12 PM

okay. That would explain it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 04:00 PM

Bein' taciturn, you speak few words, and not bein' succinct means it takes you a real long time to beat around the bush on any given topic. But most folks in this day and age have attention deficits, so anything that happens over a real long time gets blocked out, and only the short parts get observed, see? So that makes you LOOK succinct, because you're taciturn. Makes perfect sense when ya think about it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 03:30 PM

I have been accused of being succinct! Can you believe that? I'm pretty sure it constitutes an insult. The nerve of some people, saying someone is succint just because on occasion they deliver concise and accurate answers to convuluted questions. They needn't get insulting about it. It's not like I make a practice of it.

Given my New England upbringing I may be taciturn, sometimes blunt or terse, on occasion even brusque; but I am quite positive that I am not normally, nor deliberately succinct.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 03:11 PM

I sure hope King Khandu shows up on time to bring some dignity and real authority into this cultural wasteland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 01:35 PM

Nah, except Rapaire is running out of drool-naps. LH is hiring help to keep his fantasy characters in line, and trying to get elected dictator. Rapaire is above all that, he's running for Primary Mover Unmoved, but so far he hasn't been able to muster up enough electoral votes to be invited to the debates.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 01:23 PM

So - anything important happen while I was off visiting 1585?

I met Walter Raleigh, and Lady Mary Sidney, and Francis Drake, and Francis Walsingham, and Cardinal Tellini, and Churchyard O'Shea (and his little sister Margaret) and lots and lots of other people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 01:03 PM

Golly, Mom, just forty-five
Until you reach K twenty-five!
We'll help you get there, standing tall,
And then I'll post the...something or other....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM

I made you say that, too.   That is because essence (yours) preceded existence (yours also). Hence the Hegelian Absolute, which is me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 11:38 AM

SO what?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 11:32 AM

I knew you would say that because I made you do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 11:25 AM

I expect that's how he got it done, anyway. Pauvre petit menteur fatigué.


As for Rapaire, I think we need to wait for a medical diagnosis. It would be wrong to treat it as schizophrenic bipolar syndrom if it in fact was Alzheimers or Parkinson's.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 11:16 AM

MOM says that's pretty good, Little Hawk. Did you think she doesn't know how to use the translate button on each post?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 10:33 AM

Don' ; entretien de t à moi au sujet de ma soeur, vous dupez ! Vous devenez ridicule. Votre nom est dans le déshonneur d'une extrémité de ce pays à l'autre. Les chiens vous regardent avec le dédain. Les oiseaux laissent tomber de petits messages sur votre tête. Les petits enfants dansent sur votre poésie. Les belles femmes vous évitent car elles éviteraient une maladie désagréable ou une odeur vile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 08:33 AM

It was intentional, because I am the sole and only flawless being and if I had created you flawless you would have been equal, but hardly superior, to me.

As to who created me -- I did. Per onmia saecula saeculorum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 11:28 PM

Time out!

Mom says so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 10:51 PM

How careless of you, you second-string clayfoot, you...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 06:26 PM

They are flawed because YOU are flawed.

I created you that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 05:34 PM

I hate it when my mockups start misbehaving and acting all cracked. Makes me feel I am Somehow Flawed as an All-Powerful Creator. Sigh.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 04:14 PM

Slight spelling error..."crack" should read "cracked".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:48 PM

Well, jeeze, Rapaire--you better get them off the crack before you need to call on them for anything serious.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:47 PM

Oui, et ta soeur pise bleu, va t'en tinter tes ch'veux, mon vieux chevre.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:45 PM

My reign and monarchy is supported by the crack troopers of the Idaho Legion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:34 PM

Imaginez-vous que parler en français te donne une certaine sorte d'avantage par rapport à moi ? Ha ! Je ris dans votre visage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:31 PM

I make no promises of good behavior, Sirrah. Legion you may be, and One, too, but your decrees are not binding in this neck of the woods. Poste qui peut, I say. Chacun a son pouvoir, and all that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:26 PM

Oh, I do. By the way, I have sent a pm to khandu. I hope he gets it and responds soon enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:21 PM

Being one AND legion, then, MIster Alden, speak to your playmates on your own merits.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 02:34 PM

I am capable of even further subdividing my Universe, my good man. Don't tempt me! You see...in the House of my mind are many mansions. ;-) In each one of those mansions reside many types and archetypes. Though I am one, I am also legion. Within my consciousness you may find everything from the Alpha to the Omega, and why should I deny any of them full expression?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 02:25 PM

Well, sir, your defense is certainly perfervid. And passionate. But it does not speak to the issue of why you would want to subdivide your universe to the point of needing someone else to chastise one of your imaginary playmates for you!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 02:22 PM

It speaks to my "internal lack of total integration of soul", sir? I beg to differ. My internal integration of soul is seamless, my good fellow. It has the impermiable integrity of a coat of Mithril. There are no chinks in my soul's armour nor will such blandishments and disingenuous blathertwaddle on your part serve to compromise in any way the flawless perfection of the fabric of my soul or my inner Self. Methinks if you were inclined to a bit more honest self-observation rather than focusing on the imagined shortcomings of others you would find that many of these imperfections you ascribe to me are but mirrored reflections of your own galloping inadequacies, due to a life spent composing endless perambulations of unutterable bullroar masquerading as serious comment worthy of others' attention. In short, sir, you are engaging in a ceaseless flow of codswallop that would embarrass a snake-oil salesman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 02:07 PM

It speaks to your internal lack of total integration of soul that you would want me to offer a diatribe to a figment of your imagination, with the end in mind of leaving him at a total loss. If your mocked-up friend bothers you such that you would prefer to leave him at a total loss, why not just mock him up in that state?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 01:59 PM

I wish you would deliver one of these elegant diatribes of yours to Shane sometime. The poor fellow would be in a total state of confusion by the time you were done, because words like "parameters" leave him quite at a loss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 01:30 PM

Oh, Pfui and pshaw, LH.

You cannot elect me to a Gang of Three; if nominated, I will not run, and if chosen, I will not serve. Your studious adaptation of the ChiComm brainwashing and propoganda procedures handbook notwithstanding, there is no gang here except my little Gang of One.

FUrthermore I absolutely and categorically reject any invitation of warning to be careful of what I say, beyond my own self-selected parameters, and consider your effort to erect frightening straw-images of overwhelming force (in the absence of any effective means) completely unconscionable, immoral, and vile.

Therefore I say unto you, go, pander some other mis-led, easily bamboozled pinko Maoist. The one you are addressing here is imaginary.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 12:37 PM

"There's no glory in leading a Marxist state..."

What???? You can't be serious! There is much glory in it. Just go and look at some of those Chinese posters from the Cultural Revolution, for heaven's sake.

That reminds me, the Gang of Three are still under strict investigation and house arrest, and you're one of them, Amos. Best be very careful what you say!

***

Okay, I guess it was someone else who knows Khandu. Must've been Spaw or some other member of the Inner Clique like that.

Fine. I shall PM King Khandu myself and alert him to the situation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 11:19 AM

Besides, while no-one doubts Rapaire's innate talents for leadership (The Big Muddy comes to mind) I have to draw the line at Glory. There's no glory in leading a Marxist state, for one thing. FOr another thing, library folks aren't equipped to handle Glory. They keep it filed away under G, between dustcovers, to be checked out for two weeks at a stretch. That's well and good for the reading public, as most of them wouldn't know what to do with any more than that; but it is no training for the real thing.


A


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