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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 25 Jan 05 - 10:56 AM
GUEST,MMario 25 Jan 05 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,Amos 25 Jan 05 - 09:24 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 25 Jan 05 - 09:08 AM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 01:21 AM
Teresa 25 Jan 05 - 01:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 12:52 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 06:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM
Acme 24 Jan 05 - 06:11 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 06:00 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM
Acme 24 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM
GUEST,Tweed 24 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 12:18 PM
GUEST,MMario 24 Jan 05 - 11:59 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 11:06 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM
GUEST,Base 24 Jan 05 - 09:01 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 01:04 AM
Teresa 24 Jan 05 - 12:34 AM
Acme 24 Jan 05 - 12:31 AM
Amos 23 Jan 05 - 11:40 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 23 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM
Tweed 23 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM
Teresa 23 Jan 05 - 10:17 PM
Acme 23 Jan 05 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 09:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jan 05 - 07:02 PM
Amos 23 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM
Tweed 23 Jan 05 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 05 - 06:36 PM
Tweed 23 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM
Teresa 23 Jan 05 - 05:17 PM
Amos 23 Jan 05 - 05:08 PM
Tweed 23 Jan 05 - 04:59 PM
Amos 23 Jan 05 - 04:08 PM
Amos 23 Jan 05 - 03:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:56 AM

Geez, Louise, Amos! to speak a little of this rarified language:

A parental tone of voice here--this site is for serious, unfettered levity. Please refrain from referring to real assholes on this bullshit thread. I'd hate to see that chaos from the rest of Mudcat bleed over into our well-ordered lives here.

I think you know what I mean. Leave it outside.

SRS

Okay, back to the regular BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:32 AM

5810!

Isn't Geez distantly related to ancient Phonetician?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:24 AM

You ain't gonna improve on perfection, senor.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:08 AM

At least once a day, whether I need it or not, just to keep in practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:21 AM

I dunno, dude, BW, man...it is just possible that when the last catalypse has been parsed and rendered into the ancient Geez phonemes, that some Cosmic Synapse will thereby suddenly be made to close, and BS as we know it will be snuffed out of existence. Poof!!As though it never existed.

Ya think??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:02 AM

To paraphrase another 'catter:

oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:52 AM

I have decided to embark upon a project which will doubtlessly take the rest of my life to complete. In fact, it is very unlikely that I will complete it by the end of this lifetime, so I guess I'll have to be reincarnated as something other than a garden slug (which was my fervent ambition) so that I may finish it.

I have set as my new life's goal, the translation of the entire MOAB thread into Geez!

For those of you not familiar with Geez, it is an ancient Ethiopian language. That is all I know about it. I learned of its existence by way of a crossword puzzle I worked yesterday. Needless to say, I neither speak nor write Geez. Nor do I have any intention of learning to speak or write Geez. That is why translating the MOAB into Geez is going to be such a difficult and time consuming project. It may well be the only time that anyone has ever attempted to translate a major work of BS into a dead language that he doesn't know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:28 PM

Enter M. G. stage right, wearing a hula shirt, yellow lei, oversized dark glasses and sahower-shoes. He strums his uke, which is slightly off-key in one string, and sings:

"I'm PROUD to be an asshole,
I'll say it loud and clear,
I'll show that I'm an asshole
To everybody here!
I DON'Tneed no agreement
Because you know its true
That even an asshole
Has important work to do!!Ohhh....EVERYBODY...."


Exit stage right, trailing his lei.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:42 PM

Please, people!

I am the President and Founder of the Be Kind To Assholes Foundation. We are dedicated to the proposition. We also stand for Our Principle: "Don't call those goddamned stupid ignorant unwashed fools and jerks assholes, 'cause true assholes serve a useful purpose." Our motto is "Where would you be without an asshole?"

Please stop denigrating assholes by associating them with such people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM

Jolly good show there, gang! But we must be ever more vigilant against the Flaming-Hole Neds of the world as we approach the 6000 mark. We must show these nouveau assholes how it's done. There's nothing nouveau about the assholiness of MOABites. We were assholes when being an asshole wasn't cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:11 PM

That's one way to do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:00 PM

HAH!!!!!HAH!!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

I say, fellows!! What stridency!!Surely we can build a kinder, gentler way of dealing with these pissant whackos, now can't we??

I just knew you'd say yes!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

A standing ovation, so to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

Big time applause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM

SRS, I applaud him for finally coming out of the closet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM

How about

Bugger off, Flamengo Flamenco Flaming Whacko Ted!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM

Howdy, Flaming
ned (or
whoever you
are). How’s it
hangin’?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM

This is post #5793 (I think) which means that we can expect a vist from Flamingo Ed, or whatever his name is, sometime soon. Perhaps we should all make a point of saying "Hi!" to him.

Hi, Flamingo Ed or Fred or whatever your name is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM

I told you it did not have a very happy ending. The poor little leprechaun. After three months in the cell he tried to coax a merry jig from the accordeen.....but it would only play "Lady obv Spain" no matter how hard he tried. He eventually attempted to hang himself by the shoulder straps (unsuccessfully) and was carted off to the Accordia State Institution for the Squeezebox Challenged, where he resides to this day, locked away in a tiny padded room where he paces and gibbers to himself in 3/4 time. There are no photos, other than the one with BeeDubya and it is probably for the better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

My god, man!!Cruel and unusual punishment!!Draconian!Gruesome story!!!


Three cheers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:18 PM

"The bodhran fellow formed an orchestra of bodhran beaters, but that is another story (with not such a happy ending, I might add...)"

Well, here's that story...

First off, if you're going to read a story about a "bodhran fellow" you need to know a couple of things about bodhrans. Like how the word is pronounced. It definitely is NOT pronounced "bod-ran". If you want to make a total idiot of yourself at an Irish music session, just call it a "bod-ran". It's a good way to guarantee that NOBODY will buy you a beer. The proper pronunciation is "bow-ran" with the "bow" rhyming with "cow". I only make a point of this because you are wasting your time reading this crap so you might as well learn something and, who knows, if you pronounce the word correctly someone might buy you a beer. You also need to know that the bodhran is played with a double-ended beater, sometimes called a "tipper". Somehow, bodhran players, sometimes known as "bodhrani", wiggle their wrists in such a way as to play really cool rhythms using both ends of the tipper. I don't understand exactly how they do it 'cause I don't play the thing. If you want an explanation, ask my wife. She's pretty good at it.

Anyway, the bodhrani in the story Tweed related was named Seamus, as are all male children born in Ireland except those named "Patrick" or "Gabriel Byrne". By the way, "Seamus" is pronounced "Shame-us", not "Seem-us". That's another way to gain or lose a free beer. And, Seamus, like all Irish-born bodhranii (Yes, that's the proper plural form, not "bodhranis". Learnin' a lot here, ain'tcha?), was five feet tall, had red hair and smoked like a chimney.

Seamus and I had some pretty good times busking around that little island, though he did get a little grumpy every now and then from having to play the same two songs over and over again. Many's the time he'd say to me, "Bee-dubya, you arsehole, when'r ya gwine ter layrn a coopla fookin' jigs? Yer aboot ter drive me fookin' batty wid naught but this 'Lady of Spain' an' 'Beer Barrel Polka' shite!" But I would just grin and keep on playing them. You see, when you're really caught up in the accordion, when your eyes are glazed over, your tongue's lolling out, and the drool-cup attached to your instrument is about half full, you don't really care what you play. You just have to keep playing.

But, as Tweed related, there came a time when my accordion and I were called upon to do grander things than play for change on street corners. Unfortunately, the vision that the Mayor of Accordia had for the Grand Marching Accordion Band didn't include bodhrans so Seamus and I were forced to go our separate ways. I can still remember the last thing the dear fellow said to me: "Bee-dubya if I ever hear 'Lady of Spain' er 'Beer Barrel Polka' agayn, I'm gwine ter beat th' fooker whut plays 'em aboot 'is head so serveerely 'eel wish 'is moother 'ad joos tossed 'im down th' well wen 'ee wuz boorn."

And, Seamus did, indeed, gather a couple of dozen other bodhranii, all named Seamus, and attempted to form a marching bodhran band. But, sadly, it just wasn't meant to be. He didn't realize that it is impossible to walk and play the bodhran at the same time. All the band-members would be playing in perfect rhythm while they were at rest, but as soon as they began to march the whole thing fell apart. So, they decided to just stand still, which led to disastrous results since most of their bookings were for parades.

After the marching bodhran band collapsed, and the personal injury lawsuits were settled, Seamus decided to retire from active bodhran playing. He bought a little farm on the island and began to raise bodhrans. Yes, contrary to what many people believe, bodhrans are not produced in a factory or workshop, they are born. In fact, their reproductive rates can be stupendous. Just consider your typical Thursday night music session at your local Irish pub. When the session first started there was probably only one bodhrani there. But then several audience members, sometimes referred to as "drunks", saw and heard the bodhrani playing and said to themselves, "Hmm... I could do that. It sounds cool and looks easy." And the next week every other moron that walked through the door had a bodhran under his arm. Now, it is physically impossible for that many bodhrans to be manufactured, sent to stores and shipped to drunks in that short a time. The only possible way so many bodhrans could appear in such a short time would be by the mechanism of reproduction.

And Seamus's personal drum turned out to be a brood-sow bodhran of exceptional fertility. She spit out little baby bodhrans with a frequency that made hamsters look downright celibate by comparison. Occasionally there would be birthing problems and miscarriages, but Seamus found that there was a market for even the most malformed monstrosities. Percussionists will beat on anything even vaguely resembling a drum as long as it makes noise.

But, even the brood-sow bodhran's ability to produce offspring at an alarming rate was not enough to provide for the demand when a new Irish pub opened on the south end of the island. Seamus was receiving more orders than he could fill and he committed the one cardinal sin that bodhran breeders everywhere know will surely bring their downfall. He began to allow young bodhrans to leave the nest before they had been properly paper-trained! You see, it's the breeder's responsibility to assure that all young 'hrans have received at least a modicum of training before they are released upon an unsuspecting public. Bodhrans sold too early never mature correctly and their players never master even the simplest of rhythms. If you ever go into an Irish pub on session night and hear six people beating on bodhrans in six different rhythms it's because five of the bodhrans were sold before they had been paper-trained.

Anyway, a few weeks after that new Irish pub opened, the jig and reel police happened to pay the place a visit on session night. There were ten people wailing on bodhrans and it was patently obvious not a damned one of them had any idea what he was doing. So, the cops immediately deduced that they had a gaggle of untrained bodhrans on their hands. They interrogated a couple of the "players" and found out where the immature drums had come from. A SWAT team was called in and Seamus's bodhran farm was raided that very night. The brood-sow bodhran was sent to a home for wayward frame-drums and poor Seamus was sentenced to two years solitary confinement in a cell with nothing but a cot, a slop-jar, and an accordion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:59 AM

hey - just 'cuz Rapiare's wearing his freudian slip...no need to make fun of him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM

I didn't say you HAD one. I said you WERE one. ( And "type" is a fellow, a guy. type enorme==great guy.)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:06 AM

You betcha that I got one of them enormous types! Won me bar bets for years! Women swoon, men are jealous, and stallions stand in awe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM

Rapaire.

That was one vaiirrrt, vairrry, greuuvey rap, mon vieux -- t'es un veritable type enorme.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Base
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 09:01 AM

All your blue piss belong to us.

Tout sa pisse bleue belong to us.

Tout sa pissoir bleu belong to us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 01:04 AM

Teresa:

Napoleon doesn't care for academic righteousness, he likes it rusty and apache-style; he'd rather say something ribald in argot than something courteous. It's his little way.

Having had to put up with this for many years, I think I can offer a rough translation:

"Do you really think I am going to believe such a tale?A tale that is so stupid it couldn't gull an infant? Go on with you, your sister pisses blue!!"

Napoleon believes he is speaking the rugged argot of the Montmartre gutter, but it is possible he is just dreaming the whole thing up. He's not easy to manage and often refuses to listen to reason.

Hope this helps,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:34 AM

LOL! That was the best laugh I've had in a long time.

As for the odd french there ... er, Amos, I tried to figure it out ... something about a sister and a baby and something pissing blue?

Ok, I give up. My French is rusty, but that stuff has apostrophes with consonants on each side of 'em; never seen that before. :D

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:31 AM

I think your cone must have exploded by this time, it's torqued up so high, Tweed. Whew!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 11:40 PM

ROFLMAO!!!Awww, Tweed, you done trucked yourself righteously this time. What a funny story!!I am laughing all over the floor. Butcha didn't need to get rude, now! Napoleon says to tell you" "Tu crois qu'j'vais te croire avec tel un histoire, an histoire si idio qu'ne' tromperai meme un bebe?? Va t'en, ta soeur pise bleue!!" Whatever that may mean!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM

Help!!!


Bee-dubya's rollin' in th' floor an' he cain't git up! Keep's mutterin' sumfin' like, "Weed your lane drain truck!" No, that's not it. Oh! It's "Tweed, you lamebrained fuck!" I wonder if I should call 911? Nah! Fuck 'im. Serves th' sumbitch right fer disappearin' after thet storm an' leavin' me t' figger out how t' cook them damm MRE's all by muhself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM

HAW!! I have for you the ultimate bullshit!! I must share this with the world. My cone runneth over!!
I give to you this bedtime story. A tale of misadventure and salvation and yes....even scandal!!

I give to you the saga obv Bee Dubya and....

THE ACCORDEEN OBV SALBVATION!!



Now tell me who is the fattened donkey's liver!! HAW,HAW,HAW!!!

And Toute suite et chevrolet coupe in the middle of the driveway, to you M.Amos!! ;~)

Regardezz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 10:17 PM

Now I'm going to be having nightmares about tofu livers. That's worse than chicken hearts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:50 PM

Rub a dub dub, neuf Frenchmen in the tub (and three cats named Berthe, Mary and Camille sitting on the edge watching it all). Was that a tub of snow, Rapaire? Brrrrr. No wonder the cats stayed out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:46 PM

M. Flamenco Ted, mangez ma shorts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:45 PM

Cinq sept sept cinq!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM

Cinq sept sept quatre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM

Cinq sept sept trois.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:42 PM

I understand now! "Pate de foie gros" means "Mashed-up fat phooey with some seasonings which has to be washed down with copious amounts of wine so you can't really taste what you're eating".

Je le dig, as we used to say in Arles, as we sat around the cafe, swilling vin tres ordinaire and stuffing our face with aspargus. Claude would do his Vinny imitation, cupped his hand behind his ear and saying "Eh? Que vous dit?" and Vinny would tell Claude to "va a l'enfer" and pretty soon Les Deux Maggots would be trashed, les flics would be all over the place, and Claude, Vinny, Pierre, Paul, Pablo, Edgar, Camille, Berthe, Alfred, Edouard, Frederic, Mary and the rest of the gang would be hauled off on drunk and disorderly charges yet again. Ah, Ou sont les neiges d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 07:02 PM

To plagarize myself...

"T" iz fer th' "T" that's not in "moron"
"W" shore ain't for th' president
Two "E"s iz fer th' two missin' from "dingbat"
"D" iz fer th' "D" not in "miscreant".

Put 'em all together an' they spell "Tweed"
A feller knowed an' famous fer his wit
But everbuddy knows thet when ya spell "Tweed"
It's jus' annuther way t' spell "bullshit".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM

Non, non, mon chere 'ighwayman!!The foie gras, 'ow you say, it is zee fatted liver!!Zere is no fool to it! Nom de dieu, tu es vachement bien un bricoleur sans pareil!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 06:53 PM

In which case I certainly do not meet all obv that criteria either as I am certainly not fat! I would, however, not mind it very much if I had a large French woman to sit on the edge of my bathtub, mewing and purring while I make my morning ablutions.

I wish that these incessant attacks and innuendos directed against me would cease!! I am not, nor ever been near to being a French cannibal, goose liver nor should I ever be regarded as a drooling, gibbering donkey!! The moon is full, the tide is high and my cone is completely erect. I am at the zenith of mental capacities!!

Yours, fully erect,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 06:36 PM

One need not have goose liver for a pate. Pate can be made from pheasant liver, pork liver, beef liver and even tofu liver (if you're a veggie). "Pate de foie gros" would translate as "pate of the fat fool" (I think), which quite support the oft-heard assertion that the French are cannibalistic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM

Patois bois fraublau?? I am a Goose liver?? Dammit man, if I had a goose I am surely more civilized than to butcher the creature just to devour it's innards on a cracker!!

In fact, if I had a goose I would call it Tabby and allow it sit on the edge of my bathtub and listen to it mew and purr while I shave in the morning!! Goose liver! Pshaw!!!

I hope this will dispell any suspicions around here obv my being either a drooling idiot OR that I am in any way affiliated with goose livers.

Thank You so much,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 05:17 PM

I have a nine-month-old kitty named Hans who loves to sit on the edge of my tub. He is genuinely mystified by my love of water, that vile stuff. Don't know if he can see his reflection with all the whatnot of foam and minerals and such I put in there. He certainly seems fascinated with the whole idea. Of course it doesn't help that I'm always talking to him, teasing him :) He'll even dip a paw in a little sometimes.

Ok, as for words, how about "pshaw"? I swear I am going to start using that word in speech; I see it so much in writing. :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 05:08 PM

Your fastidious scholarly imitation, good Tweed, should disabuse anyone of the adviseability of challenging your curlicues, no matter how farfetched, outlandish, impregnable, inconceivable, or unbearable they may be. You are a pate de fois gras beyond question.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 04:59 PM

No, no, no....I beg to differ with that explanation as it is obviously too well thought out and researched beyond comprehension.

The cry of "E-voe" actually originated during early bronze age Britain when early Brits first took to the sea in boats of animal skins.

These people would first paint themselves blue and then head for the ocean, thinking the blue paint would camoflage their bodies from the French Royal Navy (during the reign of Neo-lithic King Pepin LeGros). The hapless sailors, thinking themselves to be invisible, would row head on towards the French fleet, screaming at the top of their lungs:

EEEEEE....VOE ME HEARTY'S, EEEEEEEEEEEV....OOOOOOOHHHH!!!



Of course, the French, being somewhat further advanced at that time, were able to detect the attack by using binoculars and telescopes (bronze), developed by famed Parisian Mayor and High Sheriff, Galileo. These instruments were very well designed and allowed the lookouts to actually view the savages even while they were still on dry land applying "camoflage" paint to themselves!! The lookout would call down from his post, "I have the Blues, I have the Blues, Blues is coming!!" And then the rout commenced as soon as the skin boats came into range of the French cannons (also bronze).

It was only a matter of time before "EEE..VOE" became the now familiar, "HEAVE HO", a phrase still in use today during tug of war games. Also, it was not long until Memphis Slim moved to Paris to play his style of music for the nation who first identified themselves as being somewhat blues oriented.

I certainly hope this clarifies your query, my dear Bee-Dubya, and will aslo quell any notions held by some here at Mudcat, obv my being a drooling half-witted idiot.

Regards,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 04:08 PM

That should be Greek drama, not Green drama. In Green drama, Oedipus kills his father when he inadvertently learns that the father owns a lead smelting factory...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 03:09 PM

Modernly, "evoe" has been somewhat purloioned by neo-mystic groups like Wiccans because it is fancied as a special phrase for invoking high mystic something-or-others. In traditional Green drama it is used as an invocation of Dionysius, the goat-god of the Bacchanale. From Antigone:

Brightest of all the orbs that breathe forth light,
     Authentic son of Zeus, immortal king,
Leader of all the voices of the night,
     Come, and thy train of Thyiads with thee bring,
          Thy maddened rout
Who dance before thee all night long, and shout,
          Thy handmaids we,
          Evoe, Evoe!


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