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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Jeri 30 Oct 04 - 10:45 AM
JennyO 30 Oct 04 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 30 Oct 04 - 10:38 AM
Amos 29 Oct 04 - 05:16 PM
Acme 29 Oct 04 - 03:58 PM
Acme 29 Oct 04 - 01:58 PM
Amos 29 Oct 04 - 01:43 PM
Acme 29 Oct 04 - 09:56 AM
Acme 29 Oct 04 - 09:46 AM
Acme 29 Oct 04 - 12:54 AM
Amos 28 Oct 04 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 04 - 06:46 PM
Acme 28 Oct 04 - 03:56 PM
MMario 28 Oct 04 - 02:00 PM
Acme 28 Oct 04 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 04 - 01:35 PM
Amos 28 Oct 04 - 01:31 PM
MMario 28 Oct 04 - 12:38 PM
Acme 28 Oct 04 - 11:11 AM
GUEST,Sn'athgothra 28 Oct 04 - 08:39 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 04 - 07:26 PM
Acme 27 Oct 04 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 04 - 01:49 PM
MMario 27 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM
Amos 27 Oct 04 - 01:11 PM
Amos 27 Oct 04 - 01:09 PM
Amos 27 Oct 04 - 12:32 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 04 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,the middle headed wombat 27 Oct 04 - 10:10 AM
Amos 27 Oct 04 - 09:59 AM
MMario 27 Oct 04 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM
Amos 27 Oct 04 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 04 - 08:45 AM
MMario 27 Oct 04 - 08:24 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 06:55 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 06:52 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 06:49 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 06:49 PM
Amos 26 Oct 04 - 05:46 PM
Amos 26 Oct 04 - 05:44 PM
MMario 26 Oct 04 - 04:59 PM
Amos 26 Oct 04 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 04:32 PM
Amos 26 Oct 04 - 01:26 PM
MMario 26 Oct 04 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 01:21 PM
MMario 26 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 01:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 10:45 AM

You can always go up to folks and recite 'Jabberwocky' while looking as if you're speaking directly to them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 10:40 AM

Here it is, Amos:

Weird Funny Music Stuff I Found on the Net

(singing) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-klahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 10:38 AM

One of my roommates, back in my first go at grad school, was from Nigeria. One day he and his friends were getting ready to go to a local church and talk about his country (and I must point out that they were all good Lutherans). Dressed in his regional dress, he opened the door when a Jehovah's Witness rang the bell.

He stood there and politely listened to their spiel, and when they asked if they could come in a talk, he replied, in his perfect Oxonian accent, "Certainly. We are just getting the goat ready for the sacrifice and you can help hold it."

They left, and we weren't troubled again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 05:16 PM

I wish I could find the link to a story recently about a New Yorkl subway rider who was accosted by a different nuisance -- loud, mindless public evangelism on the subway -- and defeated it by singing show tunes loudly until the proselytizers broke down and fled!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 03:58 PM

Now hear this, you annoying blabbers on the bus

    (By SUSAN PAYNTER
    SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER COLUMNIST)


    A little poetic justice may be in store for the next long-winded cell phone shouter who plops down next to Esther Rousso on a Metro bus. Matching the decibel level of her yakking seatmate, Rousso may pull out a book and start reading aloud. A slim volume of poetry ought to work, she says.

    I think Allen Ginsberg's "Howl," described as the "saxophone cry that shivered cities," would do the trick. Or maybe the insipid watercolor word play of Rod McKuen.

    Rousso was just one of a busload of readers, bus riders and drivers who wrote and called with some downright devilish solutions in the past week following last Friday's column on bus-riding loudmouths and the drivers who fear to tame them.

    She got the idea from a story about subway cell phone incivility in The New York Times. As a subway rider's voice rose, his seatmate began reading aloud, raising her pitch as he raised his. Eventually "the cell phone culprit complained to the book reader that she needed to stop because he couldn't hear his cell phone," Ruosso chuckled.

    The reader agreed she would snap her book shut if the cell talker would hang up. . .


poetry will work, but think about singing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 01:58 PM

At least a Roddenberry archetype!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 01:43 PM

Hmmm...I dreamed it up independently about 25-30 years back, but what the hell, maybe its a Jungian archetype!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 09:56 AM

All Your Base Are Belong to Us


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 09:46 AM

The Paradise Syndrome, aka (to fans) the Captain Kirk's Wife episode

The Women Of Star Trek: High Priestess Miramanee
by Laura Goodwin

Edith Keeler blah, blah, blah great love of Kirk's life blah, blah, blah. Baloney! Kirk barely knew Edith Keeler. He never made it past first base with her. She never had a chance to prove her love for him, and he certainly failed to prove his love for her.

And why make such a big deal about Kirk's forced interracial kiss with Uhura, when Kirk had a very happy interracial MARRIAGE with Priestess Miramanee? Kir-ok was so ecstatically happy about his marriage to her that he hugged himself at one point out of sheer, pure, unalloyed JOY. . . [read the rest online, Little Hawk et al]

Now there's a Shatner fan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 04 - 12:54 AM

This is not an original idea, Amos! There's an original Star Trek episode about that. (It was an episode called "The Paradise Syndrome," in which it posited that Indian-like folks were dropped around the galaxy.) Shatner at the origins of the solar system. Who'da thunk it?

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 09:18 PM

Actually I think it was a dumping ground for some high-society faddists who got th idea that bioengineering was camp and tried all sorts of fashionable forms to be the coolest in their life-form-show-off salons in some other Galaxy.

Then, a bunch of environmentalists rose to power and popularized the idea that it was unethical to create life forms and then just kill them off.

So at GREAT expense they had to find some far-off planet to ship them to and drop them at where they could be left to random chance.

It went on for thousands of years.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 06:46 PM

Well, I'd always thought that life on Earth sprang from the trash left here by intergalactics picnicers. I'll have to rethink that. Maybe we only exist because some ET dudes passing by emptied the holding tank on their RV or...deity droppings...where Zeus poop...the records don't say....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 03:56 PM

Easy come, easy go. . . you might want to wash your mug before you pour that first cuppa coffee in the morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 02:00 PM

but...but..but...

if she/it swallows the earth every night then she/it has to...

uhmmmm.....

well - "pass" it every morning...?

Does this mean life is nothing but diety droppings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 01:42 PM

You have to have read the eclipse thread. This goddess swallows the earth every night, or so she says. Hungry Mungry manifest.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 01:35 PM

I don't think so. Apparently Mr. S couldn't stomach us. Hmmm...it is an election year, and right now even I can't hardly stomach us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 01:31 PM

I think it was someone's delusion. But not someone likely to own up to it....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 12:38 PM

The earth got swallowed last night?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:11 AM

We aim to please!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sn'athgothra
Date: 28 Oct 04 - 08:39 AM

What a night! There I was, swallowing the Earth after causing the eclipse to distract you humanoids from my swallowing, and this tasty, delicious morsel tingled my taste buds. I had to find out what it was, and you can imagine my surprise when my third tongue played with it enough to discover that it was this thread!

I pulled it out and perused it end to end. What a delightful, thoughtful bit of spice, I though. And created just to make this swallowing, which I had hoped would be the last one, so very, very tasteful and piquant.

It was not to be, of course. I thought that the geas laid upon my by Yog's daddy had been lifted, but no. Damn! I have to continue that swallowing routine.

But I do have to pass this advise on to you.

I have never before, in the eons and eons I have been swallowing Earth, had such a rotten, putrid, disgusting taste left in my mouth as this last time! Ugh! I won't get that taste out of my mouth for at least two years! But if you folks don't do something about it pretty quick, I can't be responsible for what happens the next time. I've managed to hold back, but I am a projectile vomiter and this time Earth was spared that. But I can't hold it back forever, so please, fix that bad taste in my mouth. I wouldn't want to spew you across several hundred parsecs. I mean, even I have my limits. Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 07:26 PM

A Poem on the Inter-Uterine Device
by Dr. A. Rasheed Gazi

Under the most ideal remedy
Who cares to haave an IUD,

Most modern method of contraception,
Gives nearly 98% protection,

Bleeding, spotting and cramps are some
More that half the battle is won.


--and so on, for seven more couplets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 04:58 PM

Amos, go sit in the corner. That was horrible (I loved it!).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 01:49 PM

And an undristributed model is one that hasn't been shared. cf. "Supermodel".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM

ouch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 01:11 PM

An undistributed modal is when you sit in the corner and sing rare Welsh airs to yourself. Known also as doing the Welsh Rareairbit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 01:09 PM

An undistributed muddle is when you keep your mouth shut in a meeting because you don't understand what is being talked about...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 12:32 PM

AN undistributed meddle is when you go play with yourself.

An undistributed middle is when you eat more than the rest of the family and grow a pot belly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 11:51 AM

Fallacy of the Undistributed Muddle?
Phallacy of the Undistributed Meddle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,the middle headed wombat
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 10:10 AM

twas an undistributed middle,
he said quite politely
the doctor said - twaddle
this middle's unsightly
lets distribute some indistributed middle to the centre
above and below, inside and , back enter
well, they distributed the middle to the top and below
the middle was now muddled, i had nowhere to go.
i said - don't meddle with muddles - you've taken to extremes
my undistributed middle
is not what it seems.
it's all a big muddle, i said with despair.
not a muddle, a MIDDLE, said doc, tairing her hait.
this poem won't end, its stuck at the middle.
to see the beginning or the end would result in a muddle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 09:59 AM

It is the sort of fallacious reasoning that comes from people who suffer from undistributed middles.

It stems from an inability to differentiate between "some" or "sometimes" and "all" or "always".

MM has kindly offered a much straighter version. But that spoils all the fun. You sure you're not a Republican? **bg**


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 09:34 AM

1. Reading brings knowledge if there is comprehension and retention.
2. Knowledge is power if applicable to the situation.
3. Power can and may corrupt but does not necessarily do so.
4. Corruption may be a crime depending on laws and current morals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM

It is absolutely logical. It doesn't even fall into the fallacy of the Undistributed Middle.

A is B.
B is C.
C is D.
D is E.

Therefore, A is E.

QED.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:54 AM

IF this is the sort of logic which librarians promulgate in the world, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:45 AM

1. Reading brings knowledge.
2. Knowledge is power.
3. Power corrupts.
4. Corruption is a crime.

QED.

It's part of our secret plan to take over the world.

Don't tell anyone I told you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:24 AM

Reading leads to a life of crime? Then librarians are subversives?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM

While we're on the subject, you have probably long wondered about the caliber of US naval rifles.

American naval rifles use two numbers to indicate their size. These are shown in the form of 5"/25-calibre (or just 5"/25). The first number is the diameter of the bore, in this case five inches. The second is the length of the barrel in calibres, with one calibre, in this case, being the bore diameter of 5". So what 5"/25 indicates is a rifled cannon firing a 5" diameter shell, and with a 125" (10' 5") barrel length.

Generally, a longer barrel is considered better for two reasons. First, the longer barrel allows more complete combustion of the propellant charge before the shell leaves the barrel. This adds imparts greater velocity to the shell, giving it a longer range and greater striking power. Second, a longer barrel adds greater stability to the shell, making it more accurate.

The negative side of a longer barrel is that it requires a more stable platform to achieve any gain in accuracy, and may actually be less accurate from an unstable deck. This was the reason the Navy adopted the 5"/25 for submarines, rather than an open-mount version of the more usual 5"/45 or 5"/50 normally found on destroyers and other surface ships.

You are a much, much better person for knowing this, even though reading leads to a life of crime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 06:55 PM

This one was supposed to go through instead of the second "termite," but didn't, darn it!

The Guppy
by Ogden Nash
   
Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens,
Bears have cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.

http://www.westegg.com/nash/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 06:52 PM

The Termite
by Ogden Nash
   
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 06:49 PM

Kipling's Vermont
by Ogden Nash
   
The summer like a rajah dies,
And every widowed tree
Kindles for Congregationalist eyes
An alien suttee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 06:49 PM

The Termite
by Ogden Nash
   
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 05:46 PM

I have decided I do not want the following information, but Rapaire might like to have it so I will leave it for him here in case he wanders by:



(a) The bourrelet is the widest part of the projectile and is located immediately to the rear of the ogive. The bourrelet centers the forward part of the projectile in the tube and bears on the lands of the tube. When the projectile is fired, only the bourrelet and rotating band bear on the lands of the tube.

(b) The rotating band is a band of soft metal (copper alloy) that is securely seated around the body of the projectile. It provides forward obturation (the forward gas-tight seal required to develop pressure inside the tube). The rotating band prevents the escape of gas pressure from around the projectile. When the weapon is fired, the rotating band contacts the lands and grooves and is pressed between them. As the projectile travels the length of the cannon tube, over the lands and grooves, spin is imparted. The rifling for the entire length of the tube must be smooth and free of burrs and scars. This permits uniform seating of the projectile and gives a more uniform muzzle velocity.

(c) The obturating band is a plastic band on certain projectiles. It provides forward obturation by preventing the escape of gas pressure from around the projectile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 05:44 PM

Amazing but true, MM--there WAS a Go To Jail space right past the Greens (Pacific Avenue etc) coming around the corner toward Boardwalk etc. I had forgotten it. It had a blue policeman blowing his whistle on it. I guess I was in denial. See www.hasbro.com/monopoly

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 04:59 PM

wasn't there a "go to jail" space as well? Or maybe that was just in the version we played. It was astounding when I found out most people didn't have multiple shares in each property - nor did they allow you to "build" pullman cars on railroads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 04:41 PM

I think Rapaire is covering up for the fact that he just drew a "Go Directly to Jail" card.

The Whirlpool chapter you are citing, Rapaire, is actually the owner's manual for your washing machine out in the garage.

How come you get to be the one who says how many posts are needed, anyway?? You're not the boss of MOAB!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 04:32 PM

It's 10% of the posts needed.

And MMario asks, "Needed for what?"

Do little girls and butterflies, flowers and music, need a reason? Why can we not grasp the gestalt, the Zeitgeist of existence? Why must something always be "for" something?

In his wonderful book Daniel, Martin Buber has Daniel speaks (in "The Dialogue Above The City", I believe) of The Whirlpool and of Mankind structuring The Whirlpool out of existence instead of simply accepting The Whirlpool and learning from it.

"I AM," says the Universe, and Man replies, "Ah, but I have information!"

It's 10% of the number of posts needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:26 PM

"Go Directly to Jail" is a card you draw from a pile, not a space.

But whatever you do, vote for Kerry.

Then you might be able to get out of jail free!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:25 PM

?? needed for what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:21 PM

5,000 is a magical goal, as it it exactly 10% of the number of posts needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM

Is it true that post 5000 is actually a "GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL" space?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:07 PM

I'm not going to fall all over myself trying to land on 5,000 mind you--if it lands in the middle of the night one of our Oz folks might nab it. On the other hand, there is a lot of really good poetry in the world to review just about now. . . :)


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