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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM
Acme 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM
Pete Jennings 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM
Amos 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM
Acme 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM
Acme 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM
gnu 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM
Amos 01 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord And The Giant Squid 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM
Acme 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 14 - 10:32 AM
gnu 01 Jan 14 - 07:57 AM
Pete Jennings 01 Jan 14 - 07:14 AM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 10:21 PM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 08:55 PM
Amos 31 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 07:32 PM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 01:41 PM
Acme 31 Dec 13 - 11:20 AM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 06:55 AM
Pete Jennings 31 Dec 13 - 06:26 AM
Amos 30 Dec 13 - 10:30 PM
Amos 30 Dec 13 - 02:32 PM
gnu 30 Dec 13 - 01:01 PM
Acme 30 Dec 13 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 13 - 10:57 AM
Pete Jennings 30 Dec 13 - 10:56 AM
gnu 30 Dec 13 - 05:47 AM
Amos 29 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM

Rosy cheeks and ruby lips--that's your sistah, CHongo. That's Chinga to a T, assuming you give her time to get her face on right. I'm telling ya, I've seen the brochure for that Milwaukee penthouse suite.. You could do a lot worse. She could use you for bouncing and strong-arming, like, and your family would be made whole. Take my advise, and write her a letter smoothing things over. If a chimp can't eat crow, what kind of a man is he, after all?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM

Oh rosy cheeks and ruby lips.
I own she has my heart enthralled.
So fill to me the parting glass.
Good night and joy be with you all.

Baby!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM

Watchin' any movie with Adam Sandler in it is a painful process...sorta like havin' a tooth pulled slowwwwly with a vice grip or bein' sucked down a storm drain by a giant leech. I know apes and monkeys who love his movies, but you can't account for tastes, can you? I won't watch one unless I get paid first, and well paid. And then I watch it with earplugs in and a sleep mask over my eyes.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM

Apparently, SRS, a lot would as they have paid many $Ms of dollars to see his movies. I haven't seen any but, then again, I am tres swave in my humour tastes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM

Adam Sandler - yuck. A lot of people wouldn't lift a finger for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM

I know ya missed me. I could feel yer pain, what with me not bein' around here for awhile, so I took pity on you bozos and I came back. Now you got another chance to sup at the flowin' spring of my wisdom and wit. You are some lucky buncha humans. I would not do this for just anyone. I would not, f'rinstance...do it for Woody Allen. Or Adam Sandler.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM

Heh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM

I hafta admit we missed you Chongz.

But we used silencers so you probably didn't hear the shots...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM

Their brains were small, and they died. Evolution in a nutshell.

Chongo, why don't you work out a deal with Chinga and restore amicable relations for the New Year, huh? If you succeeded (iffen you can keep your trap shut that long) she might let you use the penthouse suit at her high-end Milwaukee establishment, when you need to lie low for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM

Baboons, chimps, monkeys, orangutangs, lemurs, gorillas, bonos -- all the same. They all failed to evolve into Homo Sapiens Sapiens and Nature has only one answer when you flunk evolution, Chonga.

Yeah -- extinction. An evolutionary dead end is dead. End. Sorry, old (fe)male. You're on the same path as the archaeocyathids -- useful for a while and then PFFT! gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM

Hmm. Not bad, Rap. Pretty good music. At least Merv Griffin knew the difference between a monkey, a Chimp, and a Baboon. He was not a total ignoramus, like some folks I could mention. I never heard of a 3-way marriage like that, though. Not in Chicago, anyways. Maybe in Southern California...

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM

Hey, I found Chonga's campaign song!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM

Think yer smart, don'tcha, Pete? Like most humans...

It is colder than a well digger's ass here. Considerably colder. A good excuse for stayin' in and having some hot rum toddies.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM

I know you all won't be impressed, but this December was the 12th coldest on record for North Texas, since they started keeping records about 125 years ago. As a consequence, the dogs spent a lot of nights in the house and most of those nights one dog slept on my bed. I've always wondered if my tolerance for having someone else in the bed might be reduced after many years on my own, but that particular dog snores fairly regularly and I sleep through it. This is what this year's cold weather has taught me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM

Sorry I missed you at Thanksgiving, Chonga, but I've been practicing and practicing so maybe better luck next time, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM

So, Chongz, last year was pretty damn good and you expect next year will be even better? What about THIS year??

Welcome back, even if'n you are as dumb as ever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM

Boy, that was one killer of a New Year's celebration. Took me all yesterday to recover. Renata is proud of me for not firin' off the tommygun at midnight like I usually do, and for keepin' the drinkin' down to a reasonable level...meanin' no pink elephants this time. So, last year was pretty damn good, and I expect next year will be even better. Ook! Ook! I got big plans for my unstoppable race to the White House once Obamba stumbles off into retirement. Just 2 more years till the White House becomes the Chimp House. I can't wait to see what kinda ludicrous bozo the Repubs pick to run against me in 2016. I am bettin' the Democrats will run my old pal Hillary next time, but I don't think she can beat me, no sir. Yessiree, things are lookin' brighter every day. And I see that we're gettin' nearer to the 50k too.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM

I ain't complainin... my nipples are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM

I meant to wish everyone a "Anos muy felicidad" but I forgot until now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM

Wimp! It's -5C here with a wind chill of -5! Groan and moan and complain...just can't take it, can ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM

-29C, -39WC. Nipply!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM

Christmas tree etc packed away yesterday so my guitar is back in its usual place in the living room, not stuck uo the corner behind the tree.

GO and squid offspring? Slippery customers no doubt...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM

The GO and Squiddy! My, think of the offspring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM

Another reason why living in Canada can be hazardous to your health.

I've taken down lights and am putting a fair number of them into a bag to take over to the recycle swap area. I'm getting into LED bulbs next year, I'm tired of having to work my way down the string to find the one that is burned out or missing.

Nice to see the Galactic Overlord has made a friend. They can live on green jello forever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM

Well, almost all the Kissmeass decorations are boxed and half of the boxes are in the basement. I saved the meese for last... three plush toy meese carolling, demanding actually, that I bring them sitcky pudding. Their atlers move from side to side when they sing their parts. Now, iffin ya know anything about meese, ya know that when a bull "rocks antlers" and stares atchya, yer in deep shit if yer on open ground and ya gotta be reeeal careful about how ya calm him down. If clapping and talking don't work, ya turn sideways ta him and walk slow while ya keep looking back at him. If he runs at ya, ya throw yer roasry at him, shit yerself and zig-zag RUN!!! hoping the smell will put him off.

With the carolling meese, it's different. Ya just take out the batteries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM

You and Squiddy can take responsibility zand provide the necessary transport, Mister Overprick. I need a single FTL vessel capable of supporting a family of ten, with belongings. Full AI interface just like "dorable Dora. And a well-terraformed destination planet. Otherwise, no deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord And The Giant Squid
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM

I have found a friend, and it isn't you. Squiddy is fun to be with and he is housebroken, usually.

Oh, yes. Your planet is slated for destruction as part of the Galactic Renovation and Improvement Plan Extraordinary (GRIPE). You might wish to move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM

My pack came in a little after 11pm so they weren't out for the shots or fireworks that typically are heard in the area at midnight. They slept like babies through the night.

It may be New Year's Day but it's also Wednesday. Hump day in a very short week. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:32 AM

Don't got me no doggies or dogies. Had a woof in the back yard once, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 07:57 AM

Whoever let the dogs out should bring them back in to thaw out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 07:14 AM

Hey Rap, I'll bring me geetah and a bottle o' Scotland's finest. Or two...

Happy New Year everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 11:31 PM

gnightgnu

See youse all next year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 10:21 PM

Alright, gnu, YOU come HERE. So can Amos. So can Stilly and LH and Pete Jennings. Even Eiseley can come visit. Khandu. Tweed. Everybody, almost. MMario. Jacqui. Kendall. Joe Offer, even.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 08:55 PM

I wrote this and it did not post. Amos... youse brought Busch... = Bud, no?
**************************************************************
#3... the peak is in the front so I have no idea what you are on about.

#4... they are Yanks and that's what they drink. Take it up with them. Now, I drink Canuck Bud and that is what you see in the pic. What you don't see is the Yank Bud they arrived with. But, note the Camel ciggie box next to the Bud. That there really makes me cringe. Smelled like Camels. But the banter! The laughter! The stories! The interaction! The tunes! Why, I even was able to sing the last line of each verse of a song with his nibs and play a wee bit of Rhan as the Bud dampened the pain and the trepidation. It was a glorious eve which I shall never forget... I haven't as much as touched the pack of camels or the ashtray of hardly smoked butts to this day. Each time I note these as I walk by, I remember, and I smile. Just as I note the two glasses on my dining room table which have never been touched since Beer was here and played my guitar for the last time before I sold it. Beer brought these special tumbler memento glasses with him, poured fine Scotch and made me partake against my will. We played and sang... my last time before the arthritis took it's terrible toll.

Hmmmm... in me cups. Feeling sorry perhaps. But, fact is, them there Bud drinkin Yanks kinda made my year in a way. It was certainly a highlight. No doubt. I must tell yas, I told A I could not accept his company, his visit, because of this and that. His answer was, essentially, "Fuck you. I will visit." Thanks Amos.

Oh, yeah. Rap. I gave you the same shit but there was no way I was gonna let you visit with yer Missus in tow. I mean, Amos' cousin took his shoes off when he came in my house. I said he should keep his shoes on. Seriously, not a good idea to go bare feet INSIDE my house. Imagine allowing a proper lady in my bachelor pad (sty)? And your better half too? Tsk tsk! I would be remiss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM

Rapparree: Judge not, that ye be not judged. What if someone came along and said "Glue that Rapp back onto the horse..."? Huh? How would you feel? I am proud to be on Gnuzer's list, and a gentlemen accepts the refreshment offered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 07:40 PM

gnu, regarding #3 -- why is that guy's head on backwards? You can tell by looking at his hat.

And #4 -- really, Budweiser??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 07:32 PM

I resolve to look like the guy in that tantric chair. No, I already do. I resolve not to brag about what I have so much to brag about and to be kind to those of the lower classes. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Umm...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 01:41 PM

Amos, well said.

In keeping with my penchant for the study of dialects, allow me to offer a partial paraphrasing/translation in Newfanese...

2013? Nivver mine at buddy. She's done n over eh? I says, dis year, give er all she'll suffer n don't back off til she breaks!

2013 highlights...

#1

#2

#3

#4

And, of course, the march to 50k.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 11:20 AM

What Amos said!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 06:55 AM

Happy New Year to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 06:26 AM

Amen to that, A. With you all the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 10:30 PM

It's the quiet time of winter, when the nights start young and the mornings aren't sure when to start, and the year draws down to an end. Not just the year of months and days, of calendars and sessions and appointments, but the year of the stars' wheel and the year of the planet's heartbeat, drawing down. The quiet days before the calendar rolls over are good times to consider a span of time, what's been done in it, what's been left undone and unsaid.

I've done a lot--bouncing around for a good part of the summer, launching a novel, sailing in the Northumberland Straits and walking the dog. I've left a lot undone, too. My desk is cluttered with incomplete things I mean to do, vellities of hopeful intent, watered down by the endless supply of distraction and diffusion.

Let us resolve to firm up the completing of things for 2014 and mark it as a year of great doing, whatever the scale, and of goodness made manifest in the completion of good deeds.

I wish all Mom's chilluns a fantabulous year ahead. Waste not a drop of it on shame, nor on blame, nor on regret, but look forward and do with a will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 02:32 PM

I wish I could edit these posts when I fat-thumb them. Most annoying. Anyway, today is balmy and bright, low 70's by midday I expect, and BBW has the day off! Yay. I have been roped into rigging up the stereo so we can record our casette tapes on playback in order to digitize them by playing them into a laptop running Amadeus or similar digital audio software. Cute. Such a headache.

But it is working now.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 01:01 PM

Love the spud box. At the bottom : "You might also like". Now, I wonder if the tantric sex chair comes with a partner. I used to have tantric sex with the ex constantly. I'd just mention sex and she'd throw a temper tantric.

The green stuff? I read it was highly poisonous.

At 6:10PM, it will be 30 years since Dad went to the great boxing ring in the sky, courtesey of the Chalk River Nuclear Plant disaster. He received a Compassionate Pension (non-taxable) from The Royal Canadian Armed Forces. An an attempt to gag all the people involved in the cleanup. It more or less worked because all the guys knew what would happen if anyone spoke out. Took a while for them all to die but they all knew the mechanism and they all knew how to calculate a best before date so it was "take the money and run". Heh... every time I talk about it, someone says, "Jimmy Carter" was involved in it and it didn't kill him. Well, not a very high percentage of Generals get shot either.

I wish he had been around longer. We only became friends after he told me he was dying and that was only 16 months later, the last 4 of which didn't really count. If he'd stuck around, he might have been able to teach me some wisdom... of which I still lack as youse all know.

Here's to you Billy "The Kid" Owens, "takes on all comers". Stay off the ropes and catch em comin in eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 11:56 AM

I have a 200+ mile view - straight up, that is. :)

For those of you wanting to grow potatoes who need a way to get started or do it in limited space, try this box that grows with the plants.

I grow the red lasota because they last longer and I like them best. It's a waxy potato that I often cut up and fry in a skillet with seasoning and olive oil, or put in soups, etc. When you grow potatoes they will sometimes emerge from the soil - keep an eye out and pile more dirt over them. When it comes time for picking any of them that have been exposed to sun will have green patches, and those green patches should be cut off before using the potato. Apparently that green part can make you a bit sick to the stomach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 10:57 AM

Pish-tush, Amos! I've got a 120 mile view from my back deck and my bedroom window...clear to the Pioneers and the White Clouds, with no smog-choked atmosphere to intervene. As for open mic...well, once in a great while I forget to zip up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 10:56 AM

Gnu, you gotta stop smokin' that stuff...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 05:47 AM

Ahhh what fun! I just got back from a nice walk in the crisp fresh air with Big Red. We were up and down the driveaway and walkway and he ate it up! He's a purebred and I have the papers to prove it. Yup, 100% Honda. Shiney red coat mottled here and there with chome. It's the diet of premium gas I feed him that makes his coat so shiny. Very obediant. I enjoyed the outing so much, I'll probably take him out again in an hour or two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM

We drove out int East on Interstate 8 to the towering heights of Alpine, and followe3d the winding two-laners out into the high hinterlands of the mountains that guard San Diego on the East. Ine of the reasons why all the jealous imprecations of the Winter People never penetrate the San Diego cognosphere. There, where the roads peter out into diret one-laners, and the houses all have hundred-mile views, we participated in a rollicking fun open mic party.

Many thanks to those who made it possible!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM

Yes, there's nothing like watching the veggies you planted and tenderly raised be killed by a hailstorm or die of root rot or be eaten by bugs while you're away or be swiped by the neighborhood kids or ripen when you can't be there and so they rot on the vine. Gardening is fun, fun, fun.

So why do I have the seeds for three types of heritage tomatoes in the desk drawer?


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