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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 29 May 13 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 29 May 13 - 09:44 AM
Amos 29 May 13 - 12:53 AM
Rapparee 29 May 13 - 12:48 AM
Amos 28 May 13 - 03:19 PM
gnu 28 May 13 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 28 May 13 - 09:20 AM
Acme 28 May 13 - 01:07 AM
Rapparee 27 May 13 - 11:06 PM
Amos 27 May 13 - 02:32 PM
GUEST,Blind River in...no, wait...Ummm..i'ts me, e 27 May 13 - 12:02 PM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:46 AM
Acme 27 May 13 - 11:43 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:42 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM
Acme 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM
Acme 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 27 May 13 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 27 May 13 - 10:10 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 06:43 AM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:51 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:29 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 09:05 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 08:21 PM
Amos 26 May 13 - 02:45 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:57 AM
gnu 26 May 13 - 07:12 AM
Amos 26 May 13 - 12:04 AM
gnu 25 May 13 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 08:20 PM
gnu 25 May 13 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 03:02 PM
Amos 25 May 13 - 12:27 PM
Acme 25 May 13 - 10:39 AM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 10:09 AM
gnu 25 May 13 - 05:15 AM
Acme 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM
gnu 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM
Acme 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM
Amos 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 13 - 10:31 AM

I think the man is driven half-mad by jealousy over my lovely Martin. The other half must be from something else.

I am all thrilled by having reached final final on me Booque after low these many years of lugging, hauling, carving, trimming, smoothing, pondering, worrying, changing, improving, and lifting it along. Seriously--when was the last time you finished a project of twenty years' duration? The first outline for Cascade was drafted in 1993, IIRC. What a long and curious trip.

The next one will be much more quickly done, thanks to all those eons of hard experience. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 13 - 09:44 AM

A true hand of compassion would come and assist me in my pain and suffering, serving me and catering to my every whim. Especially a week or so after surgery, when my wife leaves for France and the Benelux countries.

I perhaps failed to mention that my current plans are to fly to Albequeque about two weeks after surgery and yes, I plan to visit with Art and Jen (I've already called them and given them a heads-up).

Yes, Amos, I too will have "flipper" for a temporary expedient; my mouth was shoved full of that godawful stuff they use to make a mold for it just before I left.

I did not intend to insult you, Amos, gratuitously or any other way. So I apologize: I'm sorry that you look like an Okie grandpa who plays a Roi-Tan cigar box banjo. I knew it was made from a White Owl box all along. I'm sure that things will get better for you and soon you will look exactly like Johnny Depp or Don Cherry or some other famous hurley player.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 13 - 12:53 AM

Well, so much for trying to offer the hand of compassion. Rapp, I know you like to pretend your insults are all gratuitous, but I have knowledge to the contrary that you are being or soon will be being paid for them. Under, over, with or partially by the table.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 13 - 12:48 AM

The sinus lift needs to be done because that's where the bone is "paper thin" -- between my sinus and the gum line/palate. And that's eight (8) teeth (6 implants) they are doing at the same time.

This is NOT how I intended to spend my summer.

Amos, you've always looked like an Okie grandpa...especially with that old banjo made from a Roi-Tan cigar box you play.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 13 - 03:19 PM

I've had similar work done, but they done implant until the graft has set and healed. Anyway, I expect in due course you will be delighted with your new choppers, I know I am. I have one more in process which has left me in the interim using a flipper which I hate-I have to take it out every meal and if I forget to put it back in I look like some Okie grampaw. LOL!

You'll soon be a full-fledged carnivore again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 13 - 11:48 AM

Ere ye gonna be taller after that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 13 - 09:20 AM

No. I will have six implants put in, or rather, I'll have the prep done to said implants. Part of this will entail a "sinus lift" and the growth of new bone in my upper jaw where the bone is "paper thin". It will also mean the same, but not nearly as much, at the front of my mouth (everything is upper). At the same time this grafting is done they'll put in the implant posts so the bone will grow around them. When they finish I'll be unable to eat corn on the cob or a fresh apple for four to six months; then they finish the work completely (the time depends on the bone growth) and they'll put in the permanent crowns.

The "sinus lift" is essential work, so I knocked over a bank or six and raised the money to get it all done at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 13 - 01:07 AM

Tell us more about the dentist, Rap. A friend of mine has had "funny bone" removed from her jaw, where it doesn't let the gum heal. The dentist, over months, has chipped it away so her gum is about closed up now. She was on Fozamax (sp?) for years and it affects the jaw bone. Have you been on an osteoporosis medication?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:06 PM

Stock me, Shame! Go ahead!

Tomorrow I'll be on an airplane at 38,000 feet. Stock THAT, doofus!

Ya know, Shame, if I was as ugly as you I'd keep a bag over my head out of compassion for others. If I stunk as bad as you I'd keep my whole body in a bag. Hmmm...a body bag for Shame. Perhaps I can arrange for that. A nice strychnine-dipped Tim's donut -- why, I understand that the entire body goes stiff and arches until the pain is finally put away by death, which is slow to come. Or open the radial artery -- it's just as certain but takes about 3 hours. Oh, I know just the thing! I'll do to Shame what Slade did to Jules Beni! Goody, goody! that would not only be fun but I'd get a couple of neat souvenirs out of it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 13 - 02:32 PM

He's on the road. He figgered Gnuzer needed some instructions in the comment-chanter-une-pomme department.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind River in...no, wait...Ummm..i'ts me, e
Date: 27 May 13 - 12:02 PM

So where the flip is Rap? Ha! I flippin' scairt him off. I bet he will not be back for like weeks, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:46 AM

Say! I just got the FIRST post of the 49000s! Je chante ma pomme avec plaisir eh la.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:43 AM

So your offhand remark dropped out my need to send the

Bells and Whistles
but I still got 48,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:42 AM

Perfect timing! Well done! Bravo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM

Hehehehe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM

What the heck . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM

Even two in a row is cheeatin in my books.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM

Oral surgery? You're operating on something with your mouth - you'll talk it to a healthy conclusion? For the recipient it would be aural surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:38 AM

I wish you guys would get it over with. The suspense is tense. And none a that wishy-washy ten posts in a row, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:13 AM

So...fliphead. I see yer still hangin' arownd here, eh? Like I figgered. I had enuff of yer insluts. You know what I am gonna do now? I am gonna stock you from now on, man. You look over yer sholder and I will BE there! Stockin' you! I will do it until you either flippin' DIE or you apollojize to me for all the bad stuff you ever sayed about me.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 13 - 10:10 AM

I travel, and must surrender my "dibs" because Amos will post repeatedly to achieve it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 06:43 AM

Still no k count? I was sure one a youse woulda been at gettin at it all night long if required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:51 PM

Tebacky an' gravel, mostly. How do ya think we bust up the ore ta git the gold out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:46 PM

"Big oral surgery, including bone grafting, on June 4." JAYSUS H! What do ye fellahs down south chaw on what yer always gittin yer choppers worked on?

Whatever. I wish you all the best in such regard. Keep on chewin on eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:29 PM

Well, it's thundderstorming here in Columbia, Misery. Ate for the second night in a row at the Flat Branch Brewery because it didn't appear that any place else was open. Good food and decent beer, but we asked for an inside table (we were on the 'patio') about the time the rain started.

Found several places here whose hours of operation weren't as advertised. Visited Barnes & Noble, however, so the day wasn't a complete loss. Also picked up a book on dueling in Missouri at the historical society museum.

Bloomington, IL tomorrow night and fly home Tuesday; back in my little shack in the Rockies on Wednesday. Big oral surgery, including bone grafting, on June 4. Gots lots to do before that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:05 PM

48K on tha way eh? I got a feelin tonight's gonna be a good dang night!

Draw! And fill the air fulla lead! Y'all already know who my money is ridin on... or should that be whosss"? I'll be back after the gunsmoke clears out. Oh, I got my idea who might sneak and snatch but I'll not taint yer fun with any preeedictions. Have atter eh! May the best... ahhh... bullshitter take the k-Cake and eat it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 08:21 PM

Steel up then. Never nind the cheap stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 13 - 02:45 PM

String tension has always been an issue at Rapp's place of business...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 12:07 PM

Can't pluck yer string?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:57 AM

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I started with the idea of hammered banjo -- kinda like hammered dulcimer -- but my brother asked to try it and used a sledge hammer. It was on my lap at the time and his vicious assault left bruises and bits of embedded banjo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 07:12 AM

Heh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 13 - 12:04 AM

Don't leave it around, man, or someone will try to jack the Rhipper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:34 PM

Surely... tipper and Rhanjo? As for playing any such, I can. I played a telephone book one kitchen night... after I wore out a cardboard beer box. No shit. I didn't always have a Hran with me but I always had a tipper (custom made by the master... me) in me truck. My specialty was aluminum beer cans. It's a matter of practice. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 09:29 PM

Wrote it, many years back, too.

But I really wanted to announce that I'm taking up a new instrument I've invented. It's called a rahnjo. It looks like banjo but is played with a tippet like a bodrahn as well as strummed or picked like a banjo. It's not an easy instrument to master as you must use the tippet on the strings as well as the other part (mine is catfish skin) and still control it from the back while using the strings up the neck in the usual manner when you are stfrumming and/or using the tippet.

When I first introduced this instrument someone suggested to instead of a tippet I use an axe, but that was from a cranky old musician who was jealous that he didn't think of it first. Right now it's acoustic only, but I hope to have an amplified version out soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 08:20 PM

You know what would make a great rap tune? This:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve;
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

I posted that a few posts back and I still kinda like it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 06:54 PM

A... that would make a great rap tune. You and Jeri should team up. JAaaaa in the house eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 03:02 PM

You mean Gnarly Marley, great-great-grandson of Jacob?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 13 - 12:27 PM

Hahaha, you gato!
You going cwazy with gelato!
You make me laugh an' laugh a lot-o,
Oh, you such a cwazy gato!
You belong in the land down under
For putting Dibses on yo' numbahs
You think its cool, you think its svelte
But wait until yo' numbahs melt!
Haha, you cwazy gato!
Quit messing with gelato!
Change yo' ways, change yo' tone,
Make yo'self an ice-crea cone!

Charley Marley, Crazy Gelato Boy from the 1981 smash hit album "Islands in Ice Cream".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:39 AM

You're smearing ice cream on all of those numbers?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:09 AM

The next TRUE spinner is 60009. It will read the same when rotated on its middle. The last true spinner was 19061...so long ago.

But we are quickly closing in on lots of cool numbers, like 48084 and 50000 and 50005 and other great numbers, all of which I have dibs on. Or, for the pendants out there, "on all of which I have dibs."

(Remember, there's only an "n" as in "noose" between a pedant and a pendant.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 05:15 AM

Tuning up for the 48 Grand Prize?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM

47974

Makes a nice spinner to put out in the garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM

While eating dinner at The Rheinland Restaurant in Independence, MO this evening I got to thinking about my Great-Uncle Gearhard. He left the the family home, Schlossschiess, in Upper Lower Saxony to join the Luftwaffe in WWI. After training he achieved the rank of Uberunterfliegenfuehrer and flew a Spaetzel fighter in Baron Manfred von und zu Zum's squadron, the famous Flugspaßhaus. Mustard out in 1916 (because he was a gelbfeige, according to the records) he had already been decorated with the Schweinehundkreuz mit Kranz von Kämmererverlässt and the Medaille für geistlose servicel. All of the family was very proud of him, except of course those who were fighting against Germany. When Hitler came to power that whole side of the family vanished into the wilds of the Hurtsberge and, of course, we lost the schloss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM

Hummingbirds: licensed to thrill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM

How can anyone in orange be taken seriously?

I awoke to a serious bloom boom of Mum's apple tree. She's purrrrdy! And that means Hummingbirds! The King Of Birds.

We train squadrons of them in aerial support tactics at the largest ground warefare training base in Her Majesty's Commonwealth, CFB Camp Gagetown, New Brunswick, Canada. Of course, the largest at the moment is ICF Base Afghanistan but that is a temporary base, the life of which is dependent upon funds and the patience of the citizens of the respective participating coalition nations excluding Afghanistan who don't get a say in the matter. At CFB Gagetown, they are taught Hummingbird Warfare... dart in and dart out, in and out, inoutinoutinout. They become a blur. When fully trained, they are sent as far as South America on extended recon which can last up to 8 months every year. They wear the coveted Red Ascot, symbolic of the red Maple Leaf. Next time you see one, SRS, best make sure you are not up to anything suspicious. They are licenced to peck you in the back of the head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM

Immigrants to Southern California. Folks like Amos, that's how.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM

If there are no Republicans in SoCal except in Orange County, how do you explain the overwhelming vote in San Diego for Herbert Hoover in the last election? The statistics of the election results don't lie (except in Chicago, where they change as the wind blows).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM

Now, you guys really need to learn better readin' skills. I never said anything about a board of directors. We all know Mom would never tol'rate such bidness in her hallowed home. But Governators is a different kinda thing altogether. You don't there's no Governators, how do you think we keep this shenanigan rolling so good? Governators, that's how. Weren't for the Governators, Rapparee woulda thrown a brick into my monitor years back.

As for his confuzzlement about Republicans in SoCal, well, son, you are sadly mistook. Only ones I know in southern Cal are all in Orange County, pretending to be serious. Turrible epidemic up there, of righteous seriosity, and no vaccine anywhere this side of Juneau. Dang shame. I was gonna send my dog Maggie up Nawth to get some and run it down but she said she's been polarized by MSNBC and wouldn't touch it. Besides she had to tune in to Jon Stuart to keep up, ya know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM

They are, undoubtedly, adipocerous anonymities who wish only to inhibit cultural cut-ups such as we...and Amos leads in that effort because he's a SoCal R*******n. Kin of Carry Nation. A B**hbacker who still laments the demise of the Philadelphia Atheletics and Milwaukee Braves baseball clubs even though he thought "Stan the Man" was a musical and not a Musial.

In this he is added and abetted by Chonga Chimp, who dances daily to the strains of "The Sidewalks of New York" ground out on a barrel orgae while collecting pennies from children as s/he picks their pockets clean of anything not given freely.

"Board of Directors" my...my...something....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM

Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic.

- Chongo


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