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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM
gnu 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM
Acme 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM
Amos 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM
Acme 23 May 13 - 12:50 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 May 13 - 11:40 AM
gnu 23 May 13 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 23 May 13 - 11:06 AM
Amos 23 May 13 - 11:02 AM
Acme 22 May 13 - 11:22 PM
Rapparee 22 May 13 - 10:04 PM
Amos 22 May 13 - 07:41 PM
Acme 22 May 13 - 07:04 PM
GUEST 22 May 13 - 07:01 PM
Acme 22 May 13 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 22 May 13 - 10:44 AM
Amos 22 May 13 - 12:21 AM
Acme 21 May 13 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 21 May 13 - 10:23 PM
gnu 21 May 13 - 05:49 PM
Amos 21 May 13 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 21 May 13 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 20 May 13 - 07:29 PM
Acme 20 May 13 - 01:38 PM
Amos 20 May 13 - 01:17 PM
Rapparee 20 May 13 - 11:21 AM
gnu 20 May 13 - 09:44 AM
Amos 20 May 13 - 12:11 AM
Rapparee 19 May 13 - 11:54 PM
Acme 19 May 13 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 19 May 13 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 19 May 13 - 12:21 AM
Amos 18 May 13 - 11:42 PM
gnu 18 May 13 - 09:04 PM
Acme 18 May 13 - 08:19 PM
Amos 18 May 13 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 18 May 13 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 18 May 13 - 06:04 PM
gnu 18 May 13 - 04:48 PM
Amos 18 May 13 - 02:11 PM
GUEST,Pepe Gonzales 18 May 13 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 18 May 13 - 11:24 AM
gnu 18 May 13 - 05:20 AM
Rapparee 17 May 13 - 10:16 PM
Acme 17 May 13 - 09:53 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM

47974

Makes a nice spinner to put out in the garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM

While eating dinner at The Rheinland Restaurant in Independence, MO this evening I got to thinking about my Great-Uncle Gearhard. He left the the family home, Schlossschiess, in Upper Lower Saxony to join the Luftwaffe in WWI. After training he achieved the rank of Uberunterfliegenfuehrer and flew a Spaetzel fighter in Baron Manfred von und zu Zum's squadron, the famous Flugspaßhaus. Mustard out in 1916 (because he was a gelbfeige, according to the records) he had already been decorated with the Schweinehundkreuz mit Kranz von Kämmererverlässt and the Medaille für geistlose servicel. All of the family was very proud of him, except of course those who were fighting against Germany. When Hitler came to power that whole side of the family vanished into the wilds of the Hurtsberge and, of course, we lost the schloss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM

Hummingbirds: licensed to thrill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM

How can anyone in orange be taken seriously?

I awoke to a serious bloom boom of Mum's apple tree. She's purrrrdy! And that means Hummingbirds! The King Of Birds.

We train squadrons of them in aerial support tactics at the largest ground warefare training base in Her Majesty's Commonwealth, CFB Camp Gagetown, New Brunswick, Canada. Of course, the largest at the moment is ICF Base Afghanistan but that is a temporary base, the life of which is dependent upon funds and the patience of the citizens of the respective participating coalition nations excluding Afghanistan who don't get a say in the matter. At CFB Gagetown, they are taught Hummingbird Warfare... dart in and dart out, in and out, inoutinoutinout. They become a blur. When fully trained, they are sent as far as South America on extended recon which can last up to 8 months every year. They wear the coveted Red Ascot, symbolic of the red Maple Leaf. Next time you see one, SRS, best make sure you are not up to anything suspicious. They are licenced to peck you in the back of the head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM

Immigrants to Southern California. Folks like Amos, that's how.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM

If there are no Republicans in SoCal except in Orange County, how do you explain the overwhelming vote in San Diego for Herbert Hoover in the last election? The statistics of the election results don't lie (except in Chicago, where they change as the wind blows).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM

Now, you guys really need to learn better readin' skills. I never said anything about a board of directors. We all know Mom would never tol'rate such bidness in her hallowed home. But Governators is a different kinda thing altogether. You don't there's no Governators, how do you think we keep this shenanigan rolling so good? Governators, that's how. Weren't for the Governators, Rapparee woulda thrown a brick into my monitor years back.

As for his confuzzlement about Republicans in SoCal, well, son, you are sadly mistook. Only ones I know in southern Cal are all in Orange County, pretending to be serious. Turrible epidemic up there, of righteous seriosity, and no vaccine anywhere this side of Juneau. Dang shame. I was gonna send my dog Maggie up Nawth to get some and run it down but she said she's been polarized by MSNBC and wouldn't touch it. Besides she had to tune in to Jon Stuart to keep up, ya know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM

They are, undoubtedly, adipocerous anonymities who wish only to inhibit cultural cut-ups such as we...and Amos leads in that effort because he's a SoCal R*******n. Kin of Carry Nation. A B**hbacker who still laments the demise of the Philadelphia Atheletics and Milwaukee Braves baseball clubs even though he thought "Stan the Man" was a musical and not a Musial.

In this he is added and abetted by Chonga Chimp, who dances daily to the strains of "The Sidewalks of New York" ground out on a barrel orgae while collecting pennies from children as s/he picks their pockets clean of anything not given freely.

"Board of Directors" my...my...something....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM

Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 13 - 12:50 PM

Freewheeling and extemporaneous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:40 AM

And directionless.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:37 AM

More like Bored.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:06 AM

Name the members of this "Board of Directors"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:02 AM

Confusing an artificial dessert product with a Senior Management Policy at the MOAB Board Of Governators is sooooo Rapparree.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 11:22 PM

Except that it's Nestle, I can give credit for an ice cream Dibs. I prefer Braums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 13 - 10:04 PM

That anonymous GUEST was me, as Stilly surmised. I was using Pat's netbook (we now have his and hers netbooks) and she had cleared cookies, etc. recently.

As for Amos' absurd and asinine assertion, I respond thusly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:41 PM

We don't allow dibses here at Mom's. Especially to nameless skylarks and burrowing anonymice Guests.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:04 PM

I bet that was Rap. He's tossed his cookies again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:01 PM

'S okay. I already have dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 02:00 PM

47955

Just practicing for the big one coming up . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 13 - 10:44 AM

You're saying I have to honor the Offer? Or do I have to Offer the honor? If I (figuratively) kill the honor, am I an Offer? Or is your Cockney ancestry dropping your haitches again and you're telling my to be "ornery"?

You have now confused the issue and I wouldl like you to clarify it, in exquisite detail.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 13 - 12:21 AM

Rapp ain't gonna see Saint Joe Offer. It's an offer he has to refuse, on account he would have to be shriven and confessed, and he isn't even gonna START with confessing. It would drive him bats iffen he were to start counting up his sins and trying to take responsibility for 'em.
There has to be honor before Offer, if you see what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 May 13 - 10:59 PM

On the road to Saint Joe, Moe

For a minute I thought you were headed to California to see Offer. Joe, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 13 - 10:23 PM

Ain't nobody goin' apeshit. Chonga is in the slammer, doin' hard, hard time as Big Ape Louie's "friend." My friends among the guards at Pontiac say Chonga looks "cute" in a pink tutu and fishnet stockings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 May 13 - 05:49 PM

Sounds like ya might have a song there, A.

50 posts! You could cut the anticipation and tension with a soup spoon! I have a premonitional that things are gonna go absolutely apeshit! Especially with all these !s!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 13 - 03:30 PM

Just slip out the do', Moe
Just go to Saint Jo, Bo
Just got on a track, Jack,
And set yo'self free.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 13 - 11:53 AM

On the road to Saint Joe, Moe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 13 - 07:29 PM

Went to one a while back -- one gladhander there was in jail within a year for misuse of State funds. If I go again maybe they'll jail some more. Of course, it IS Illinois, where they have Governor's State University and state prison for the Governors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 13 - 01:38 PM

I tend to agree with you, Amos. There were a handful of friends, none of them likely to be at the reunion. But I have friends I'd like to see in the area so taking a couple of hours off and dropping in to see who turned up, I could live with that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 13 - 01:17 PM

SOUTH Carolina? Hell, you should go call on Miss Dani in NAWTH Caroline, and Miss Janie and mister Bobert and Mistah Chance!. Much more productive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 13 - 11:21 AM

There's perhaps three people I want to see in September, apart from family. Right afterwards I'll fly to Charlotte for barbecue and messin' around in SoCar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 May 13 - 09:44 AM

Haven't been to one. I can't bear to break those girls' hearts again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 13 - 12:11 AM

I'd go to a reunion if there had been a union in the first place, but my unions were few and involved one or two special beings. Me and "the class" were never tight, if you know what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 13 - 11:54 PM

Well, yeah, there's this grand-niece who's coming up on 3 weeks old. And my brother and his kids, and my cousins (some of whom were in the NG unit).

Some friends have asked that I also attend my 50th HS class reunion in September, and I think I will. Mind you, the same reasons as above apply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 13 - 03:10 PM

I haven't yet made it to any of the reunions for which I am eligible. There don't seem to be major sponsored reunions from school, they're clic-ish events that certain sub-groups of students attend. There definitely has to be a good second reason for making the trip (like visiting friends and family) to make the expedition worthwhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 13 - 09:55 AM

Okay, that's over for another five years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 13 - 12:21 AM

Well, you got the con down pat. Now set the hook and bring in mark, slowly, slowly, and set the gaffe on the fleecing. Do it right and you can fleece 'em over and over and they'll even thank you for it. Just let the fleece grow back first -- don't get greedy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 13 - 11:42 PM

Certes brother Gnu, con certo is sine dubitas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 09:04 PM

Is that done with a conCERTO?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 13 - 08:19 PM

That's tempting - but I'm happy that my diet is slowly but steadily working. I've set aside several garments now that are too large, and pulled things out of the back of the closet that I can wear again. That's more encouraging that a detour to the carrot cake, as tempting as it might be.

Now if it was Braums' cherry pecan cream ice cream . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 13 - 08:17 PM

Oh, Rapparree, oh Rapparree
The consummate master he,
Not of art literary
Nor the making of melody
But disingenuity!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 May 13 - 07:57 PM

"Get yer filthy hands OFF me, you damn, dirty Republican!!!" - attributed to King Kong, while he was being held captive on a ship bound for New York Harbour in 1933.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 13 - 06:04 PM

Amos, I did not call you a Republican. I was simply using a simile. But you know what they say about wearing shoes that fit...and if you need to go the Mexico to get fixed, well, I'd think that you could get someone to do the job with a tree stump and a sledge hammer for free.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 04:48 PM

Green beans at the Coop! $2.99 a pound. I paid $6.15. Gonna be a green bean Sunday supper with all the fixins. Yeah, baby! Bakin carrot cake with a cream cheese icing for dessert. Diet be damned!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 13 - 02:11 PM

This may be the first time since my childhood that anyone called me a Republican. I think I should start worrying about my friend Rapparree. I mean, his eyesight AND his memory are failing him...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Pepe Gonzales
Date: 18 May 13 - 12:27 PM

Hey, hombre...don' esspect Mexico (Meh-hee-ko) to feex what ees plainly beyond feexin'! We jus' take hees monee, you know, but to t'ink we gonna feex him...get real, man!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 13 - 11:24 AM

Not my hearing aids, those guys. They have gray hair, those that aren't bald or completely white. And some are using a cane! Not one of them can run even an eight-minute mile in combat gear any more! You'd think that they were never soldiers once! Even their beards are gray!

Of course, I can't run an eight-minute mile in combat gear either, but hen I never could. Faked it back in the day, like so many other guys...did...like all of those guys probably....

But a lot of them have VA service-connected stuff like...me.

Hmmm.... Nah, I ain't old. I'm just more mellow than a SoCal Republican who gets himself fixed in Mexico 'cause it's cheaper there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 05:20 AM

SRS... oh my! She has lost weight and it does not suit her. I must email her and see if she wants to drop in for a boiled ham dinner this weekend. That'll help fatten her up. Well, that's IF I can find some decent green beans. The green beans were absolutely beautiful for the last month. Bought a lovely smoked ham and a small cabbage on Monday when the forecast was cold, wet and windy starting Wednesday. Went to get the beans... crappy! Went to my main grocery... NO beans! Same yesterday. I am distraught.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 10:16 PM

Probably. She looks like the kind of Kent County floozie gnu would go for in a big way.

Just got back from the first half of the quinquennial National Guard unit reunion. God, those dudes are OLD! Hearing aids, all sorts of things. Not young and virile like me. I mean, I use hearing aids but they're like, OLD!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 13 - 09:53 PM

Is this your heartthrob, gnu?


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