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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jul 09 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 13 Jul 09 - 06:53 PM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM
Acme 13 Jul 09 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 13 Jul 09 - 03:50 PM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 03:42 PM
Rapparee 13 Jul 09 - 03:05 PM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 01:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jul 09 - 12:50 PM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 11:11 AM
Acme 13 Jul 09 - 11:10 AM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 13 Jul 09 - 09:47 AM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 09:04 AM
Amos 13 Jul 09 - 03:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jul 09 - 10:57 PM
Amos 12 Jul 09 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jul 09 - 10:26 PM
Amos 12 Jul 09 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 10:03 PM
Amos 12 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 07:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jul 09 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 06:30 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 06:28 PM
Acme 12 Jul 09 - 12:34 PM
Amos 12 Jul 09 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 12 Jul 09 - 09:57 AM
Amos 12 Jul 09 - 09:51 AM
Acme 11 Jul 09 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 08:08 PM
Amos 11 Jul 09 - 08:01 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 08:00 PM
Amos 11 Jul 09 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 06:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jul 09 - 05:10 PM
Acme 11 Jul 09 - 04:54 PM
Amos 11 Jul 09 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 10:29 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 09 - 10:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jul 09 - 07:36 AM
Acme 11 Jul 09 - 12:24 AM
Amos 10 Jul 09 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 09 - 09:25 PM
Amos 10 Jul 09 - 08:14 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 08:09 PM

The conventional wisdom is that south Florida is Democrat country, north Florida is Republican country, and central Florida is "swing" country where the outcome of Florida elections is often decided.

Ironic that so much can be riding on the Mouseketeer vote, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 06:53 PM

Whole-body x-rays cured my wife when she was 7 years old. Of course, she got thyroid cancer ten years later....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM

OWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Cold showers and soap? Calomine? Topical antihistamines or ... it is ORFUL stuff....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 05:51 PM

MOM, I'm trying to do the smart thing. I made an appointment with my doctor because I got into poison ivy over the weekend. It goes on and on and on and spreads and spreads and spreads so maybe if I get a gel or pill or shot I can knock it out? My itch tolerance isn't as high as my pain tolerance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 03:50 PM

There used to be two, but one turned Republican when he was threatened with a hanging chad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 03:42 PM

One? One man nearly elected Al Gore? SIngle handed??   Would we had two such in Florida!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 03:05 PM

Now, now -- nobody is saying that you have inorganic potatoes.... And everyone knows that there is at least one member of the Democratic Party in Florida (he's hiding in the swamps, though).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 01:03 PM

Well, perhaps a national Potato Transport System needs to bew funded by which Dem potatoes get discount, or mass-packed rates and get one seat per case, while Republican potatoes get one seat per spud, with extra charges for tiny seat belts of they are lean AND Republican.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 12:50 PM

Hold on just a goll-darned minute here! My potatoes were grown organically in soil which has been tested and found to be 100% free of lingering pesticides, chemical fertilizers, and Republicanism. To have Republican potatoes, you must have Republican potato growers and, since most Florida Republicans buy their potatoes from the supermarket, it follows that most home-grown potatoes are Democrats.

The only notable exception would be commercially grown potatoes. They're probably 80% Republican, but they're mostly grown in and around a little town called Spuds, which is 400 miles from where I live (though only 25 miles from where my Republican parents live).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 11:11 AM

Well, that depends on whose ox is being mashed, doesn't it???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 11:10 AM

Those Florida potatoes will be heard to protest. If the recount had encompassed the entire state, all potatoes would have been acknowledged and Gore did win. But they keep their voices down, because they feel "gore" is a first cousin to "mash" and they find that a scary concept. (They prefer pan fry with herbs and ended with a little steam with the lid on.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 10:04 AM

I am sure that if what Rapaire says is true, and the Florida potatoes are all Republicans, that they can perfectly well afford individual seats per potato and should be billed accordingly. Also,they may be swollen up, and able to use normal seat belts, so that reduces the outlay even further and improves the shareholder's return, something all Republican potatoes can only applaud. Or would, if they had hands to applaud with.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 09:47 AM

Well, the barley for Budweiser is grown here by good Mormon farmers....

And as for FLORIDA potatoes, I'm sorry, but they are too soggy and too sunburned to be REAL potatoes. They're so laid back and all of them have hanging chads. They take their flavor from the manatee and alligator shit they live in. And they're all Republicans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 09:04 AM

What I mean is, any reasonable airline should allow the whole box to go on one ticket, and not charge each potato separately for its own ticket. Unless they have an age policy and know the ratio between human years and potato years, so that potatoes which are more than three months old are considered the equivalent of human 12 year olds and required to get their own seat and ticket. That seems fair enough, sure, but I could only support it if they put in special potato-sized seatbelts. Even at 12 or its equivalent, you don't want those pre-teen potatoes hitting you in the back of the head in the event of an emergency stop. Especially if they happen to be small potatoes, the kind that Quayle could never spell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 03:19 AM

How many potatos?

How many tickets?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:57 PM

I have a boxful of potatoes, but they were grown in Sycamore, Florida. Maybe we could work out some sort of potato cultural exchange program. They're new potatoes, though, so they're too young to travel alone. They'd need escorts/chaperones. You think EIFIC could fund a couple of round-trip tickets?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:42 PM

BUDWEISER????!!!! Zhurely you cest, sirrah!


A

Some folks are still adding Beauty to the World


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:29 PM

Got any potatoes? Lentils? Budweiser? Oatmeal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:26 PM

If I ever happen across anything East Idahoan that could use a little funding, I'll be sure to stop by. But just looking around the house, nothing obviously East Idahoan jumps out at me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:26 PM

Dropping in when closed would NOT be eific at all, Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:03 PM

Well, you can drop in when we're closed and make friends of the local cops....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM

That is really positively eific, Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 07:09 PM

EIFIC is the Eastern Idaho Funding Information Center, located in the Marshall Pubic Library, Pocatello, Idaho. Drop in whenever we're open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:57 PM

"30303" turned upside-down is "EOEOE", which is realted to, but not the same as, "EIEIO".

"EIEIO" is the exclusive intellectual property of Old MacDonald Farms Inc. and is protected under various U.S. and international copyright provisions.

"EOEOE" is considered to be in the public domain and, thus, can be uttered without having to pay licensing fees to that money grubbing skinflint, Old MacDonald.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:30 PM

30303.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM

along to


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM

I'll help you


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM

But it's okay, Mom. 30300.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 06:28 PM

Poor Mom. Abandoned by all save me since my post at 12:34 MCT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 12:34 PM

Why fool with things so small as buildings? You need to encroach on the golf course, Rap. Build a off-road vehicle course. They'll LOVE you for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:59 AM

QUite so, and welcome to old neighborhood!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 09:57 AM

I'll let you in on a secret: build a one-sided tessaract and live in it. That's what I did. I live about 37 degrees off from the what everyone considers "the plane of existence" -- sort of off-bubble. Works great.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 09:51 AM

Would I could live in a virtual creation and still keep my bones warm and my belly full.
The damn physical universe is very strict about requiring real energy and force to make trades, and is very sensitive about counterfeiting.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 10:58 PM

Amos, borrow one of the guest rooms from your trip last spring and tack it onto the house.

Good job on getting a big utility to do what it is supposed to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 08:08 PM

Congratulations! I know that sort of maze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 08:01 PM

I am seriously contemplating tearing apart the guest bathroom just to start the reno. I have conquered San Diego Gas and Electric, and they will be crediting us with all the kilowatt hours our solar system produced that they had not programmed their meter to count; it took me hours of phone tag up and down the tree but I done it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 08:00 PM

Oh no, they were genteel enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 06:51 PM

I don't think hauling your past lives to the fore is quite genteel, amigo. I too, fought at sea in the period between '39 and '44, and gave my all. But, really, a gentleman does not tell all he knows...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 06:28 PM

I've done that, Amos.

I remember the bow climbing the swells and then down and then up again. I sipped my coffee, and remember the clang of the old bell and the First Mate calling up, "U-Boat, Captain! 356 degrees, range about two miles!" And then it was all ahead full and the deck guns blazing and the depth charges rolling and the sea, so peaceful before, roiling and boiling and the weather closing down on us so that our old corvette was flung about like a chip as we fought to stay afloat on the North Atlantic in winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 05:10 PM

I saw no cave swallows, cormorants, sea lions or fish on my own early morning adventure, just mosquitoes and yellow flies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 04:54 PM

Then I roe the swells back,

I just love those typos!

Well, while Amos is contemplating the navel of his cool nautical Saturday, I'm plotting how to turn my house into a huge steamer. IT IS TIME. Too many tomatoes in the fridge to fit the bucket of wild mustang grapes in. So I must start canning.

Backward steps from the actual canning mean rounding up and washing jars, running out for a bottle of lemon juice, making sure I have enough pots for all of the hot water, having a space to let things cool, and plenty of stuff for the floor to dry up spills so I don't kill myself with all of that juicy fruit and hot water and such. And then it has to simmer in a hot bath for 40 minutes.

MOM, you're gonna love these jars come January and February, but be patient while the house gets a little hot today.

After that, I might make some mustang grape jelly. This stuff is the best--and my son even prefers it to strawberry, his previous favorite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 02:58 PM

The sun was just peeking over the hills behind La Jolla and starting to lighten the sleepy Pacific swells when I pushed through the surf and started cutting my was west into the blue water. The ocean was in a most kindly mood, and I found I could laze along the shore, under the steep cliffs and caves below the beach shore, dabbling with the swells as they curdled and swept into caves, around pillars, dashing at the cave swallows who flitted fearlessly above them. The se lions were all snoozing and I drifted by them, silent, only yards away, lifted by the peaceful swells like a kitten sleeping on a perfect bosom.

The cormorants submarined in and out, and the little fingerfish I call flibbertygibets were out in play. I sipped my coffee and reveled in the rising sunlight and the quiet, animal feel of things at the edge of the sea, so close to bawdy and loud civilization, but centuries apart in kind.

Then I roe the swells back, cutting across to the area of beach where the wild kayaks go in and out, and joined my own herd again, swooping in on breaking waters and skating smoothly to a safe sandy stop.

I love Saturdays. I see no reason for any other day, except to make space for ORthodox Jewish observers to get stuff done in. Otherwise, I vote for perpetual Saturdayness in the world.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 02:10 PM

Cheaps even has his own .com website.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 10:29 AM

Hey, Bee-Dub! Cheaps called and said to say hi!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 10:09 AM

Yeah, I know him. Good guy. We hang out together a lot, drinking and singing, you know, having a good time. I call him "Cheaps" and he calls me...well, this is a family thread. He's coming by again this afternoon or tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 07:36 AM

Simply put, I am The All....

You're The All? Wow! You make pretty good laundry detergent!

Sorry I haven't been patronizing your products lately. We were using your hypoallergenic stuff at the insistence of The Mother of The Most Holy of All Imaginable Grandchildren. She was afraid He'd get all rashy if He was cuddled while we were wearing clothes bearing the dreaded Chemicals. But, since He has matured beyond the cuddly-wuddly stage we no longer feel it's our responsibility to protect Him from the nasty old Universe by using hypoallergenic detergent.

So, we're back to using Cheap Shit, like before. Do you know The Cheap Shit? I sorta thought you deity types might hang out together. Go bowling or something. Anyway, He makes pretty good detergent, too, and it's a helluva lot cheaper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 12:24 AM

Since you mention Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus, is there an alpine interlude, with a monster MOABite is secreted away in a shed, listening to the family live in the adjacent house?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 11:03 PM

I'll pass in favor of a few selective and choice slices of not-Knowing, thanks. I consider it a High Art.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 09:25 PM

Simply put, I am The All, and All is contained in Me and I in The All.

If you See, you will Know. And once you Know you will never need to See. For Knowing and Seeing are One, and Not Knowing and Not Seeing are contained in them. When you Understand, you will Know, and then you will not need to See and you will not need to Know. You will then put yourself in My Hands and I will Guide you, for I am The All.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:14 PM

It was clear as mud
But it covers de ground
De long words all
Make my head go 'round
It sounds like bull like a frien' of mine,
Like to sign as Albert Einstein!!

It says to Mother Piaba!
ANd BS Piaba!
And the res t of the bull it is lemon grass!!
And the brandy root, belly root Mother root HUH!!!
And de brandy brandy scratch scratch!


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