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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 03 May 09 - 04:55 PM
gnu 03 May 09 - 02:26 PM
Acme 03 May 09 - 02:02 PM
Acme 03 May 09 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 03 May 09 - 12:43 PM
gnu 03 May 09 - 11:48 AM
Acme 03 May 09 - 11:39 AM
Janie 02 May 09 - 06:50 PM
Janie 02 May 09 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 02 May 09 - 06:26 PM
Acme 02 May 09 - 06:21 PM
Janie 02 May 09 - 04:14 PM
Acme 02 May 09 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 02 May 09 - 11:05 AM
Amos 02 May 09 - 07:38 AM
Acme 02 May 09 - 02:34 AM
Rapparee 01 May 09 - 10:17 PM
Janie 01 May 09 - 08:16 PM
gnu 01 May 09 - 08:11 PM
Acme 01 May 09 - 07:56 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 07:32 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 01 May 09 - 04:54 PM
Acme 01 May 09 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 01 May 09 - 03:55 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 03:54 PM
MMario 01 May 09 - 03:51 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 03:33 PM
Acme 01 May 09 - 03:29 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 12:06 PM
Amos 01 May 09 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 01 May 09 - 10:01 AM
Amos 01 May 09 - 09:46 AM
Amos 01 May 09 - 12:18 AM
Acme 30 Apr 09 - 11:59 PM
Amos 30 Apr 09 - 11:41 PM
Amos 30 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM
Janie 30 Apr 09 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 09 - 10:03 PM
Janie 30 Apr 09 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 09 - 09:12 PM
Janie 30 Apr 09 - 09:10 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 09 - 04:36 PM
Amos 30 Apr 09 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 09 - 01:56 PM
Amos 30 Apr 09 - 01:45 PM
Acme 30 Apr 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 30 Apr 09 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 09 - 10:18 AM
Acme 30 Apr 09 - 10:11 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 09 - 04:55 PM

We thought of that. In fact, I think that's why we haven't heard from Rapaire all day--consider the travel time from Idaho to San Diego. And I don't know if any of the boys from the Legion hovel are going with him. They would slow travel considerably.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 09 - 02:26 PM

Belize? He went to Belize? Why? I thought he lived in paradise? He certainly keeps posting that he does and that we in the far north are twittiots for not moving in next door to him.

But, he goes to Belize? Pretty Belizey of him. Maybe we should crash at his place while he is away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 09 - 02:02 PM

Hey, MOM, no one seems to be home at Mudcat today. Maybe everyone else has nice weather and is out in their gardens and I'm the only one stuck in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 09 - 12:52 PM

If he eats a lot of garlic perhaps he will be spared the ravages of the 'skeeters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 09 - 12:43 PM

Yes. Also in Belize, belize it or not. Amos will come back with Yellow Fever, typhoid, typhus, malaria, crotch rot, athlete's foot, tennis elbow, Boobonic Plague, black syph, yaws, elephantisias, psorriasis, halitosis, heartburn, eczema, dandruff, fallen arches, Dengue Fever, Jakob-Crutchfield Disease, anemia, schistosomiosis, black lung, SARS, Heiney flu, hydrophobia, infantile paralysis, beri-beri, and cracked fingernails.

You just mark my words!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 09 - 11:48 AM

"...mesquitos."??? They have skeeters in SoCal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 09 - 11:39 AM

Yes, in the book the slippers are silver. And they drop off when she flies from Oz through space back to Kansas that first time. I don't remember how she got back and forth for the next trip (the wizard turned up in Kansas, as I recall, and he may have had the wherewithal). After she moved Aunt Em and Uncle Henry to Oz they didn't go back to Kansas (at least, not in the 4 or 5 books I read to the kids). There are actually quite a few Oz books, but the style is such that you have to give yourself a break every couple of books (the puns, for one thing, are punishing, so to speak).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 May 09 - 06:50 PM

...not to mention my imagination....

So...I am not green with envy thinking about Amos and his lovely significant other lounging around in the cabana with an after dinner brandy, about to take a stroll on the beach in the soft spring air.

Hopefully the wind has died and they are being chewed upon by mesquitos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 May 09 - 06:32 PM

Were they silver in the book?

I never read it. I confess that my imagine was even more tender as a child. The movie gave me terrible nightmares - I wasn't about to read the book!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 09 - 06:26 PM

Just picture Amos all cuddled up with his fiberglass cow, his thumb in his mouth, sleeping like an little angel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 09 - 06:21 PM

It must be Oz. We have a tornado warning here, and that confirms it! I hope he packed his silver shoes (we will default to the book on this trip).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 May 09 - 04:14 PM

Well, I wondered. Yeterday he was landing in Charlottesville. This morning, he was complaining about the coffee in Charlotte. Still not sure if he don't know where he's going and how he's getting there, or if he is trying to throw us off the track.

Guess we'll just have to stay tuned to CNN for word of the cow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 09 - 01:43 PM

Aha! That mention of "Gillikin" reveals his actual destination. He's not going to Belize, he's going to Oz. No, not Australia, to Oz.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 09 - 11:05 AM

See, Janie? That's how their employers get these soldiers (called "mercenaries" or "soldiers of fortune") mad and ready to fight. But our Amos will be okay because he has his fiberglass cow with him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 09 - 07:38 AM

Bad coffee in Charlotte airport. No sleep on plane, back aches, neck stiff from 4 hours in a seat designed for a gillikin. Otherwise having wonderful time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 09 - 02:34 AM

Watch the news for a story about a fiberglass cow washing ashore in Belize.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 09 - 10:17 PM

Janie, dear, that means you don't go to work and you get to play all day and you get paid for it. You see, Amos is actually a soldier who gets paid to help overthrow other countries' governments. Amos likes doing that, so it's play to him. So his "vacation" means that we should watch for a "revolution" in Belize. Then Amos will come home and be with Mom and talk with his friends about helping to overthrow the elected Belize government.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 May 09 - 08:16 PM

Vacation?

Tell me, MOMMY, what's a vacation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 09 - 08:11 PM

Nah, he'll never really leave... just linger on... and on...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 09 - 07:56 PM

Do you suppose he's really going?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 07:32 PM

In any case, adieu to you, all good and true sibs of Mom, the finest and best of MOAB, if not all the world.

I shall see you anon. If you become anon. Otherwise I shall see you when I see you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 07:06 PM

How perverse a remark; I have been offered a small window of freedom, and all you can do is paint pictures of jail???? What sort of sociopath are you?? For FIE, Bookman!!!!

PErhaps the grapes are only sour because you cannot reach them, oh Fox, you. And the horse you came in on.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 09 - 04:54 PM

I don't think they let you send packages from jail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 09 - 04:35 PM

Okay, fine, send a package! (Fill it with postcards--historic ones if you can find them, then once I finish enjoying them I can donate them to the special collections at my library).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 09 - 03:55 PM

Yeah, she's afraid you'll come back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 03:54 PM

Sure thing!!! Where should I send it???   

Or should I just, kinda, ya know, post it here???



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 09 - 03:51 PM

And by MOM something real nice as a souvenir...She worries when you're away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 03:33 PM

I'll send you a bunch of photos when I get back. Will that do? I hardly ever do snail mail except for packages.


Sorry for acting like a short-timer. It's just that I are one...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 09 - 03:29 PM

Alright already. Get on the plane and go. See if we care.

You'd better send us postcards, is all I'm gonna say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 12:06 PM

Closer...


Closer....

It is inevitable...

It comes closer to you.

Do not resist...it will only weaken you.

It is coming.

It senses you are there, and what you need, a need so deep you cannot voice it. It is coming. It knows you. It cannot be turned back.

Do not seek to flee; there is no flight.


Do not plan a struggle; struggles will only strengthen it. Relax.

It is coming. You have no further choice about it.


It approaches. It will be here soon.

Very soon.


...You can feel it. Closer, and still closer...

Surrender.

Surrender. Now.



Surrender to your Vacation........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 10:41 AM

I suppose that living in Idaho is your way of making life better in Southern California, then?

ANd let me point out, as a gentle reproof, that I am not sneaking anywhere. I think I told everyone. EVERY one!! Some twice!! :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 09 - 10:01 AM

I'm not the one sneaking off the some low dive in Belize to drink cheap rotgut rum with those who would shanghai Mother Theresa and sell her into white slavery in an opium den in the slums of the Barbary Coast or Liverpool or somewhere. No sir, I will continue here, working and making Life Better for the residents of Pocatello and the Pacific Northwest, so that those in SoCal can continue their frivolous, sybaritic lifestyles that are built upon the backs of honest working men and women elsewhere in the country so they can continue to grind the workers into the mud with the heels of their iron-shod boots.















(Wow! Only two sentences!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 09:46 AM

Jaysus, I ain't even gone yet and Mom's sneaking off to slum around the bottom of the page. You boys and girls need to keep a sharp eye on her, hear me??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 09 - 12:18 AM

WHo was that canoodle I saw you with last night?

That was no canoodle, sir!! That was my CowYak!!

Yippe Kayaaay Kaayak!!

LOL!! Nah, I ain't into rustlin' especially them plastic cows. Can't drive 'em, herd 'em, and if you try and brand 'em they burst into smelly flames.


But just so's y'all know, ain't using no i-Phone on 3G networks in Belize--the rates are piratical. Iffen I mosey up to a good hot spot I will try to check in on my wireless node.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 11:59 PM

Mudcat is EVERYWHERE! That's no excuse! And you have an iPhone so you could have done it.

If we hear about a man kayaking in a cow boat, we'll be very suspicious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 11:41 PM

"A life-sized fiberglass cow has been stolen from a sidewalk in La Jolla, organizers of an art auction said today.

The cow was part of CowParade La Jolla, an art exhibit and fundraiser for Rady Children's Hospital San Diego and the San Diego Zoo. Forty cows designed and painted by local artists are featured in the exhibit, which started March 15 and will continue until June 15. An auction is set for July 11.

The swiped cow is thought to be worth $5,000 and $10,000 at auction. The cow thieves "are taking money right out of the hands of two worthy organizations," said Bill Trumpfheller, president of CowParade La Jolla.

Thirty-three of the cows are on the streets and plazas of La Jolla, others are at a nearby shopping center. Anyone with information on the theft is asked to call the CowParade hotline at (619) 881-3371 or the San Diego Police Department at (619) 531-2000.

-- Tony Perry
"

I have witnesses. When this was going down I was nowhere near La Jolla. I was on Mudcat, far away!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM

Inviting Rapaire to water the shrubbery could only mean one thing to his perfervid imagination.

I appreciate the offer, but must decline as I have made other arrangements.

I leave tomorrow evening, fly through the night. Saturday morning I shall take a short flight from Charlottesville to Belize City. Anyone who happens to be in Charlottesville Douglas International at 6:04 in the goddamn morning can watch me stagger off the plane and crash in the lounge for a 3 hour layove. It promises to be very exciting!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 10:22 PM

Sounds like a plan to me. Do you think we could trick him into buying our air fare to San Diego so we could perpetuate our plan? I dunno, maybe we could offer to keep an eye on the place while they are gone? Water the shrubbery or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 10:03 PM

We could put "Bite Here" on the bottom of his kayak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 09:44 PM

Let's do something mean to his possessions while he's gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 09:12 PM

John Carter is picking him up tomorrow and whooshing him and his off to Barsoom and Deja Thoris.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 09:10 PM

So, Amos, again, when you are leaving for your excellent adventure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 04:36 PM

I shall not profane the sacred manual transmission with a reply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 02:06 PM

Aw, man, c'mon, they're fully manual operable for the strip, and you only use the autoshift when you're goin'ta Gramma's with the little woman...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 01:56 PM

Amos, I ain't gonna have ANYTHING to do with putting an automatic transmission in! They suck!!! A stick has faster acceleration and hits the shift points faster. If you can't drive a stick stay off the track!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 01:45 PM

Hell, let Earl Schreib take care of it.


Housepaint looks funny.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 11:31 AM

Hell, after all of that work I guess we'll have to get out the steel wool to work off the rust spots and repaint this sucker. Do you have any leftover house paint or do you want to take it down for one of those $99.99 auto paint specials?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 10:41 AM

I went over and towed the damn ole thing to the garage this morning. I droped out the whole engine, replaced it with a supercharged big block Chevy 502 with 600 Hp performance aluminum head engine,with Edelbrock RPM Air-Gap Intake Manifold, chrome thermostat Housing, dual Holley Carburetors , chrome air cleaner, Pro-Billet distributor, Blaster II coil, 6AL Ignition Control, new Delcos, and Custom Fit Taylor 8mm Ignition Wires (Green). I added in a hi-flo cast-iron water pump, chrome valve covers and chrome breather. And a starter engine.

Rapaire promised he would do the tranny this afternoon--he's looking at a speed shifter four with hydromatic coupling. I keep telling him what he wants is the top of the heap- Pro-X trans used in NMCA and NMRA but does he listen? Well, we all know the answer to that.


She'll be cruising in no time, driving about 2200 horses on a dropped frame with high-lift shocks. Sexy, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 10:18 AM

I was talking of REAL sincerity. The sort that makes young males utilize knotholes for immoral purposes, that makes them scream in agony from the splinters and the subsequent venereal termites. Ain't nothin' more sincere than venereal termites! "Hoss" Pequere came down with them, and the doctors up at the Legion couldn't even do anything. Seems like he'd picked them up in a petrified forest and as they destroyed his "vitality" they also turned it to stone. Danged shame, but he did work at a traveling sideshow for awhile, exhibiting himself as a model of Hell's Canyon, "The Wonder Of Idaho". Mind you, he didn't have much "vitality" to start with. He passed away on a visit to the State Prison (to visit his kinfolks); he was walking by a bunch of prisoners "making little ones out of big ones" and they made a natural mistake. What's left of poor ol' Hoss is part of the gravel walk at the old Warden's House -- the walk to the outhouse. Folks at the Hovel say he would have wanted it that way, but they're not sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 10:11 AM

I saw MOM out push-starting that old pickup of hers at the grocery store parking lot this morning. The driver of the Lays Potato Chip truck helped her push it back and forth across a "V" shaped set of inclines until it started. Wasn't one of you boys going to put in a new starter motor? I already changed the oil and the air filter and rebuilt the brakes.

It was so sad to see her reduced to pushing her own pickup. . .


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