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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Genie 09 Sep 07 - 04:12 AM
Amos 09 Sep 07 - 12:38 AM
Acme 08 Sep 07 - 11:15 PM
Acme 08 Sep 07 - 09:58 PM
Genie 08 Sep 07 - 07:58 PM
Amos 08 Sep 07 - 07:52 PM
Genie 08 Sep 07 - 07:27 PM
Genie 08 Sep 07 - 07:21 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 07 - 06:16 PM
Acme 08 Sep 07 - 06:08 PM
Amos 08 Sep 07 - 02:53 PM
GUEST,Boxie the Bonobo 08 Sep 07 - 02:23 PM
Genie 08 Sep 07 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 07 - 01:14 PM
Amos 08 Sep 07 - 12:47 PM
John Hardly 08 Sep 07 - 11:42 AM
MMario 08 Sep 07 - 10:30 AM
Amos 08 Sep 07 - 10:10 AM
Genie 07 Sep 07 - 11:16 PM
Genie 07 Sep 07 - 11:15 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 10:44 PM
Acme 07 Sep 07 - 10:18 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 10:08 PM
Genie 07 Sep 07 - 10:02 PM
Genie 07 Sep 07 - 09:53 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 09:49 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 07 - 08:39 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 07 - 08:20 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 07 - 08:10 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 07 - 06:26 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 06:08 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 07 - 04:51 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 04:00 PM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 12:05 PM
Acme 07 Sep 07 - 11:16 AM
Amos 07 Sep 07 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 07 - 07:31 AM
Acme 07 Sep 07 - 12:26 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 09:32 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 06:13 PM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 05:57 PM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 05:49 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 04:48 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 04:26 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 04:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 04:12 AM

Amos, if you can make love in the 96 position, the Kama Sutra will have to add a new chapter, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 12:38 AM

Wodda hot date!!   Stilly, 96 is the same as 69 rolled over, isn't it? But if it leaves you snake bit, I would say you are either too nearsighted to make dates, or you are taking the Old Testament entirely too seriously.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 11:15 PM

In a little while it will be midnight. September 9. 99. Spoons.

I have a question: My birthday is on Sept. 6. 96. Am I snakebit? Is 96 considered the unsexiest number around, compared to, say, 69?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 09:58 PM

I do better on eBay than I did at the garage sale, but the garage sale is the opportunity to meet your neighbors and get rid of the bulky stuff. I'll probably toss a lot and I have a couple of things to fix before the next one.

I fixed my computer today, with or without a garage sale--I have an extra hard drive in an external HD enclosure that died (the enclosure died, not the drive. Actually, the power cord to it is what died, and I couldn't replace the cord.) I'll hunt around eBay for one later, but for now I found a new enclosure for probably as much as the cord would cost. All swapped out and there's now another blue light on my desktop. With all of the LED ready lights around here, who needs ceiling fixtures?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 07:58 PM

So is Coxsackie, New York, named for a (foot and mouth) viral disease, Amos, or was it the other way around?   Inquiring minds need to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 07:52 PM

They also have a Coxsackie for older folks, Rapaire, as Genie points out. The Town Council recently voted to adopt a Town Song:

Oh, keep yer hands off it,
Keep your hands off it,
Keep your hands off it,
It don't belong to you.

Cocksackie, Cocksackie
You can go whacky
Here in Cocksackie
It's the place for you!
And you girlfriend, too!

Oh, keep yer foots off it,
Keep your foots off it,
Keep your foots off it,
It don't belong to you.

Cocksackie, Cocksackie
You can go whacky
Here in Cocksackie
It's the place for you!
And you girlfriend, too!

Oh, keep yer mouth off it,
Keep your mouth off it,
Keep your mouth off it,
It don't belong to you.

Cocksackie, Cocksackie
You can go whacky
Here in Cocksackie
It's the place for you!
And you girlfriend, too!


A murmuring of impeachment is rippling through the sleepy little village as I write.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 07:27 PM

I begged off doing a yard sale with a friend of mine this year, whether at her house or mine. Last 2 times I've done it, I ended up spending the better part of 3 days and netting less than $40 per day, not counting the bigger ticket items like guitars.   I can do almost that well by just donating the small stuff to charity and taking the tax deduction and using CraigsList for the higher-value items. Yard sales are not the best ways to get a good price on something like a guitar or stereo stuff or computer or any but the cheapest jewelry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 07:21 PM

It's not so much that Coxsackie appeals to me, Amos, as that just reading its road signs on the highway can just about cause a crack up.

And it's not too terribly far from Darling or Intercourse, PA, either.

Distances are much smaller back east than out her on the west coast.

But we do have a "Coalinga" in California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 06:16 PM

Ain't nothing like a little Coxsackie you're a young guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 06:08 PM

The garage sale is over for now. First it was muggy as hell, at least 129% humidity, then when it finally dried a little it got super hot. Oy. We couldn't stand it by about 11am so called it quits. The neighbor and I are going to try again in early October, and I'll get it in the printed newspaper this time, not just the online version. We all observed today that few of the people who came by probably use the computer. Many don't read English, but they figure out "Garage Sale" and the address.

We did a little better than break even. So it wasn't a complete failure, and the yard looks great since I made a huge push to mow the entire thing the day before the sale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 02:53 PM

Coxsackie? What in particular appeals to you about it, Genie?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Boxie the Bonobo
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 02:23 PM

My favorite is Schenectady, cos there are a lot of apes in that town. Lotta monkeyin' around too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 01:25 PM

My favorite New York town name is Coxsackie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 01:14 PM

I'm in DC, but I've been in Ontario (Canada, that is). It's okay. Not at all like Fonda, New York, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 12:47 PM

They seem so inexpensive, but its like Gillette and ISPs -- where they really get you is in the bits.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 11:42 AM

I just bought a Black & Decker chordless song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 10:30 AM

yeah - you have to go some to look better then Skaneateles, NY. Lot of money in that town. And they let you know about it, too. *grin*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 10:10 AM

That's just a line.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:16 PM

Where's the hook!?

*g*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:15 PM

I taught at university for 3 years and 1 summer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 10:44 PM

Those Fondas!! Did you know Henry left someone with a bun in the oven, after a hard night drinking green liqueurs? The girl could do nothing to get him to take responsibility fo his paternity. She named the boy Hargrove, and raised him to be a decent lad. But when he was 11, he finally braced her with the question of where he had come from.

She looked at him sadly and replied,

"Absinthe made thee, Hargrove Fonda."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 10:18 PM

Never been to Orillia, but I have been to Skaneateles a number of times. When I lived in New York City I used to head upstate on my days off a few times a summer to visit an old friend who was a neighbor when we were growing up in the boonies of Washington State. Lovely little town, way expensive. She was married into the Fonda family. The Fonda family, cousins of the big name Fondas. (Since divorced, and then remarried and widowed, but I think she still uses that name, because it's her son's name).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 10:08 PM

Dare I ask what you did for the Canadian gummint that earned the small pension, Genie?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 10:02 PM

You're in Orillia, LH?

Ah, memories of my 3-year stint in Ontario are coming back to me.   'Fraid I don't have any real images of Orillia in my head, but I do remember driving by the signs quite often.

(With what Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Reagan and the Bush crime family have wrought here in the US over the past 3 decades, I'm really beginning to regret not having tried harder to stay in Canada for a couple more years, to be eligible for citizenship.   It wouldn't be that easy to get back in these days, even though I now get a small pension checque* from the Canadian government every month now.)

--------

*See? I haven't totally lost the spelling habits that finally took hold about a year before I left Downsview and Montréal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 09:53 PM

"Bumphuque," Amos?

How do you pronounce that? "Bump - hyewk," right?

;-D
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 09:49 PM

Ya gotta wonder what kind of a place would invest so much energy in trying to look better than Skaneateles,New York, Little Hawk...I mean, it's kinda like being proud one is better off than some kind of wino on the corner, because one has a dollar in his wallet. Maybe that's a bad simile, but you get my point, I am sure. Anyway, I am glad you're somewhere better than whoosy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 08:39 PM

Your all-consuming desire to be an Orillian can easily be ascertained by reading between the lines of your various posts, Amos. I can see right through you, eh? ;-)

There are people who've lived here all their lives. I wasn't so lucky as that. I only moved here in '85. It's been 22 years of sheer delight.

Man, I've lived in Skaneateles. Skaneateles, New York. This town makes Skaneateles, New York look like a dessicated old piece of moose dung.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 08:20 PM

19,450!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you realize how long I've waited for that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 08:10 PM

LOL! Great comeback, Amos.

Rapaire, you are so right. I saw those very two horses the other day, matter of fact. I was driving to the post office, and I happened to pass this place where the two horses live. They were cavorting in a most unusual fashion. One of them seemed to be attempting to climb on top of the other and, well, what can I say? At least one of them horses is definitely male. No question about it. It was ENORMOUS!!!! I mean, just flippin' incredible. Downright scary. Too bad I did not have the camera.

I could have proven to Shane that there is someone out there who is "bigger".

He'd never admit it, of course. But he would know, and that would be good enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 08:03 PM

Easy to say, not so easy to prove. Having now seen twice as many images of Orillia than I ever planned or desired to, I would submit the possibility that it is really one horse being moved around deftly to make the place LOOK like a two-horse town. And if it (or they) is/are actually stallions, what are they doing in Outer Bumphuque?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 06:26 PM

The horses are stallions. Every Canadian male is jealous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 06:08 PM

Oh, the shame!! Caught!! Exposed for the hoser I am!! Trashed in midstride by Little Hawks scintillating, keen-edged repartée and deathless deftness of rhetorical device!! Damn, I hate it when that happens.

Both horses, huh? Wow. You're right, I am impressed. Never mind in what way...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 04:51 PM

Huh? What? Hey, man...flip you, eh? If you had flippin' seen the two horses in question you would be, like, impressed. I mean like really, really impressed, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 04:00 PM

I am sure if LH had not gotten all obsessed about some two-horse town in Greater Bumphuque, he'd have posted something scathingly brilliant by now, which would have had as all rolling on the floor laughing. Alas, it is not to be...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 12:05 PM

I'd have thought she'd have closed the account flat.

Dubai? WTF? A network of sticky-fingered Enshala'ites? Gawd, what a fate for man's best friend. Like having your poodle kidnapped and ending up on Michael Vick's farm.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:16 AM

The cash advance in Dubai is telling--one supposes this number went into a networked crime syndicate. Better check your credit records closely for a while. They keep coming back. A friend lost her checkbook several years ago and every now and then some new check or charge tries to go through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:01 AM

Rapaire, living as you do in a stout Western State dedicated to the preservation of hunky male mythologies and such, surely you could manage as needed by converting your holdings to small leather bags of gold nuggets and dust? Sure, weighing things instead of writing a check is a nuisance, but, boy, is it a secure defense against cybercrime!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 07:31 AM

We dumped all credit cards except for MC for online purchases (this is the one that was compromised) and Visa (which pays us something annually) for everything else. The MC has a low credit line, protection for both us and the merchants. The Visa has a credit line double that of MC, which is plenty.

AND they are both through the same Credit Union, with which we have had good relations for about 25 years now.

What annoys me about credit card fraud (apart from the time you have to take sorting it out) is that the merchants get screwed. This drives up the cost to everyone in several ways. And if it's a small business, well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 12:26 AM

Guard it with your life.

I tend to parse out my spending on a couple of cards. One is used just for online purchases, and I have insisted that they leave the credit line fairly low, despite their annual offers to raise it. Another is in my wallet, and one is not being used right now because they raised the rates and changed the terms a few months back. But they sent me a letter last week, saying they noticed I wasn't using it, so maybe I'd like the interest rate lowered? They may be slow, but they do eventually catch on!

The online purchases account has been slowly moving to earlier and earlier due dates, and I noticed it was enough out of sync with my accounting software that the last two months the payments have gone in a day or two late. I called and told them I had two requirements--put the date back where it was and lower the interest (which had crept up because of the late payments, perhaps). They accommodated both requests and tolerated my suggestion that this was a sneaky way to do business. Looks like holding onto customers who pay their bills and have good credit is a desirable thing in this current atmosphere of dodgy credit practices.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 09:32 PM

I've forgotten something. I have a small backpack and a carry-on sized bag. I must have forgotten something.

Well, at least one credit card is still good....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 07:04 PM

I believe it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM

I left work. I went to the post office and then to bank and got some cash. I pulled out of the bank parking lot and the cell phone went off. It was my #2, asking about sending other people to a meeting in October. After I told her to do whatever she thought best I continued driving. About a half mile further on my cell phone went off. It was American Fencers' Supply in San Francisco calling because my credit card didn't work. I explained the situation and gave them another credit card number which was NOT compromised.

Then I came home. I have to pack. I have to eat dinner. I have to get some sleep so I can be on the shuttle to Salt Lake City at 6:30 a.m.

My day has been yucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM

You have my sympathy, Rapaire. It's not pleasant having one's credit card (or its number) stolen. I presume they must have got the number off a discarded receipt or some other paperwork somewhere?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:13 PM

Just remember, Rapaire, you are a truly fine and upstanding human being with Many Virtues.

Illegitimi non carborundum, old fruit.

Give my regards to the mess on Pennsylvania AVenue, if you see him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 05:57 PM

I think you need Pat to make you a big quilted comforter so when you have really bad days like this you can curl up in a corner with a good book and block out everything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 05:49 PM

Bummer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:48 PM

My Really Lousy Day Thus Far
by Rapaire, Grade 3

My really lousy day thus far started when I woke up an hour and a half late. Then I missed a meeting 40 miles away, but was able to attend by telephone. The Technical Services Supervisor left to take her husband back down to the VA Hospital in Salt Lake City because the hernia repair they did was badly swollen, painful, and hot. I discovered that my Mastercard number was stolen and used to buy things while I was in Canada, including a cash advance in Dubai last night, so I killed it. AFLAC has screwed up my reimbursements. I have to go to DC tomorrow and fly back on Monday.

And that is my really lousy day thus far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:40 PM

That was not the Muffetts. It was the Alla'akbar Fighting Wing, under General "Chemical" Ali.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:26 PM

As the Little Miss Muffet Squadron said on its bombing missions, "Curds Awhey!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:22 PM

Only a Turkey would have such strange misconceptions about curds.

A


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