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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 23 Sep 05 - 05:28 PM
Acme 23 Sep 05 - 05:07 PM
MMario 23 Sep 05 - 03:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Sep 05 - 03:42 PM
Acme 23 Sep 05 - 01:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Sep 05 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 05 - 12:38 PM
Amos 23 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM
Amos 23 Sep 05 - 12:02 PM
Amos 23 Sep 05 - 12:01 PM
Amos 23 Sep 05 - 12:01 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Sep 05 - 11:58 AM
Acme 23 Sep 05 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 23 Sep 05 - 09:18 AM
Acme 23 Sep 05 - 12:52 AM
Acme 23 Sep 05 - 12:35 AM
Amos 22 Sep 05 - 11:37 PM
Acme 22 Sep 05 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 05 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 05 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 05 - 08:50 AM
Acme 22 Sep 05 - 12:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 05 - 09:12 PM
Amos 21 Sep 05 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 05 - 06:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 05 - 02:55 PM
Acme 21 Sep 05 - 01:38 PM
Acme 21 Sep 05 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 05 - 09:21 AM
Amos 21 Sep 05 - 12:19 AM
Acme 21 Sep 05 - 12:07 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 05 - 11:30 PM
Acme 20 Sep 05 - 11:17 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 05 - 10:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 05 - 09:19 PM
Amos 20 Sep 05 - 08:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 05 - 06:56 PM
Bunnahabhain 20 Sep 05 - 05:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 05 - 03:43 PM
Amos 20 Sep 05 - 03:33 PM
Acme 20 Sep 05 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 05 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 05 - 01:31 PM
Acme 20 Sep 05 - 12:53 PM
JennyO 20 Sep 05 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 05 - 12:38 PM
MMario 20 Sep 05 - 12:30 PM
Acme 20 Sep 05 - 12:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 05 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 05 - 11:27 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 05:28 PM

I had a think accent once but was forced to sell it so that we could buy a trap to catch the wolf at the door of the wall we had our back to so we could eat him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 05:07 PM

A thick one also.


Geez. . .I can see where this is going. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:47 PM

"New Cliche" sounds like "bed"?

boy - you must have a really think accent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:42 PM

At least no one can accuse you of missing an answer that was right under your nose.

True. Maybe we can start a new cliche' about finding an an answer that's right on top of one's nose.

Hmmm... "New cliche'". Bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? Great name for a band, though...

Nah! Sounds too much like "Negeligees" errr... "Negeljays" errr... Those things women sleep in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 01:49 PM

At least no one can accuse you of missing an answer that was right under your nose.

I'm glad you were paying attention, Amos. I saw the looming number but went and took a little nap to nip a sinus headache in the bud. It didn't work as well as usual, as there seems to be a large atmospheric disturbance in the area. Several folks I've spoken with here today have been dealing with sinus headaches. My forehead doesn't differentiate between humongous hurricanes and simple shifts as thunderstorms drift through, so I don't think I can sell this as a job skill or anything (you know, like one of those USDA food sniffers).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 01:30 PM

NEWSFLASH!!!

SOURCE OF MYSTERY ODOR UNCOVERED!!!


For the last couple of days I've been catching whiffs of a vaguely familiar odor. "What's that damned smell?" I'd ask myself every few minutes. "I don't think it's something burning. Smells more like something chemical. What the hell is it?"

Finally, I recognized it as being very similar to the smell given off by PVC pipe when you cut it. "But I haven't done any plumbing work for months." I said to myself, "Maybe it's from that oil processing plant a few miles down the road." (Have I ever mentioned that there are a bunch of oil wells around here?) But my wife couldn't smell anything so that sorta dashed that idea.

Then I noticed that the odor was more pronounced when I was at the computer. "Oh, hell!" I thought, "The friggin' computer's melting." So I took the cover off the computer and sniffed around. Nothing.

"All right," I thought, "it's obvious that I'm losing my mind. I've always heard that olfactory hallucinations are the first indications of the onset of schizophrenia. This must be it. Time to head off to Chattahoochee and do the Thorazine Shuffle with the rest of the loonies."

So, while I was taking a break from searching for downloadable Power of Attorney forms so my wife could take care of my affairs while I was off being Chief Broom, I took off the reading glasses that I have to wear for computer work and noticed that the smell went away. Put 'em back on, the smell came back. "Aha!" I mentally exclaimed, "It's the damned nosepads on these new el cheapo reading glasses! They're made of a PVC-related plastic! I'm not whacko! Well... not whacko enough to be Baker Acted... yet."

I just hope the smell goes away as the things age and the plastic finishes curing. Sorta hard to ignore it when it's on your nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:38 PM

There was once a fella called Amos
Who thought that he would be famous
He looted and plundered,
Shouted, "Ninety-four hunderd!"
And locked himself out sans pajamous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM

P0sted on the MOAB
And hollered "It's 94 hundred!"



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:02 PM

And to prove it, the scab


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:01 PM

My lifeline will NEVER be sundered!
....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:01 PM

The once was a scholar who thundered....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 11:58 AM

No, there won't be any more duck-dogs about.

To maintain parity, and so prevent the universe tipping over as it's unbalanced, which would be bad, as my keyboard alredy has coffee in it, plus time might start running backwards or sideways or something, there was a dog-duck created at the same point as Gluon.

To distinguish it from Gluon, we will call it Boson. This is an easier rhyme than the other viable alternative of 'semi-mythical Higgs particle'

How it behaves is the next question....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 10:40 AM

Thanks, Rap. Pttthhhtthhhttt. You were too late. They're already awake and distributed around the house and yard. Your noisy window didn't wake them.

These two are funny. I had to haul the pitbull to the back door this morning, with the catahoula protesting from her enclosure all the while. They are counting the days on their little doggie calendars until the stitches are removed (a week from today, in a half hour from now) so they can go face to face as peers in the back yard.

This new dog is so far a little space cadet. I can only guess at the home she came from--she is house trained, but little else.

Do you think Gluon is lonely? Maybe Amos should investigate finding a companion for her. Any more duck-dogs floating around the Earth's orbit that you might entice into your neighborhood? (I sure wouldn't want to be the one to be the pooper scooper behind two of them, though!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 09:18 AM

Hey, Stilly --

Good luck
with keepin’
‘em quiet!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:52 AM

Shhhhh! Type quietly! They're finally asleep! Don't slam that window when you close it! I'm going to turn off the computer and tiptoe down the hall and hope they stay quiet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 12:35 AM

Well, it can't be any worse than the ruckus around here. They can't live with each other, they can't live without each other. Some sleepover! Take one out of the kennel to go pee and it's like an Olympic wrestling match, all wiggling and licking and arms and legs everywhere. Kick one out in the back yard and she starts barking at geckos on the patio roof and the other one barks because she hears the first one bark. Now they're together again, and only one of them is barking, so I suppose its an improvement, but she's barking in the house, so it's harder to ignore.

Sheesh. Mom! Tell these two dogs to be quiet! They aren't listening to me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 11:37 PM

Rapaire:

You are such a SUCKUP!!!

"No-one loooves you but meeeee, Moooooom". Brrrrpppppt!

I'm gonna tell her who tried to use Gluon in a Bose-EInstein Condensate experiment last summer and made the basement stink for a month. We're still getting rid of some of those atoms you hauled down there.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 11:24 PM

Woof! Woof woof woof!

Rasp rasp rasp!

I left the girls in the sun room. I hear a thumping tail against the wall. One is in a kennel, the other isn't. It keeps them apart enough that no ones stitches will be harmed by the association. Both girls have their sleeping pads in there. A doggie sleepover. I predict some middle of the night giggling.

Mom, did you take in the barbecue and the patio furniture and the trash cans? I think they're going to roll down the street and float away in the creek if you don't! Not even Gluon will be able to find them once they're in the tangle of urban flotsam in the Trinity River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 09:07 PM

Okay, Mom. Up, up, up and at 'em! Thatsa girl, old girl!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 03:11 PM

Hi, Mom. How are you doing today? I guess it's just SRS and me that care enough to visit with you today. Yes, I know, there are the others, but you know how they are. Here's your shawl, your tea, and your toast. I've used real butter and cinnamon sugar on it, so don't get too rowdy now, you hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 08:50 AM

Keep your cell phone handy and charged, too.

That's a lovely dog. I like the white blaze on the face.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 12:16 AM

The pup is here! She doesn't feel good, after her surgery yesterday, but she is sweet and beautiful and Cinnamon is ecstatic that this friend (who is sequestered in the house for 10 days or so) is here to stay. She looks much like this dog in coloring and shape. Only smaller, and no evidence of recent pups. The cats have even been hanging out nearby, keeping an eye on her.

I have to run over to a sporting goods store and to Home Depot tomorrow to get a couple of parts for my Coleman stove and to get a fresh can of fuel. I have enough supplies here for several days. The truck will be parked facing out (as always) of the garage and I'll have the kennels in the back and ready to go if our creek rises. I have a large pile of bricks right outside the back door and if it looks like we may have high water, maybe a couple of inches will make all of the difference to the antiques. The house had water in it one time, a little in the sunken den. That's before they tore out the old poorly designed bridge and rebuilt it so it doesn't act like a dam across the creek.

Hurricanes often spawn tornadoes as they move inland. That's the bigger hazard here than a tropical depression. I think I'll pull out the insurance policies and slip the CD of photos of all of the rooms of the house (and their contents) into an envelope and leave them at work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 09:12 PM

The ant article's interesting, Amos.

But this one, also from physorg.com, is scary.

GM crop creates a 'superweed'

Genes from a genetically modified crop trial transferred into local wild plants, creating an herbicide-resistant "superweed," the Guardian reported Monday.

The newspaper said the cross-fertilization between GM oilseed rape, a brassica, and a distantly related plant, charlock, had previously been discounted as virtually impossible by scientists. The "superweed" was found during a follow up to the government's three-year trials of GM crops that ended two years ago.

When scientists treated the new form of charlock with an herbicide, nothing happened. And when seeds were taken from other weeds in the oilseed rape field, researchers found two other plants -- both wild turnips -- were also herbicide resistant.

The findings were posted last week on the Web site of the Center for Ecology and Hydrology -- a British governmental research station.


Incidentally, the article seems to presuppose that anyone who reads it already knows a few fundamentals about GM crops. What it doesn't explain is that many GM crops are engineered to be herbicide resistant so that non-selective herbicides can be sprayed over the entire field to kill weeds without damaging the crops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 08:24 PM

Two juicy tidbits from the wonderful world of scientific discovery, the best sort of BS there is:

RESEARCHERS CREATE FUNCTIONING ARTIFICIAL PROTEINS USING NATURE'S RULES, September 21

By examining how proteins have evolved, UT Southwestern Medical Center researchers have discovered a set of simple "rules" that nature appears to use to design proteins, rules the scientists have now employed to create artificial proteins that look and function just like their natural counterparts.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6663.html

ANTS, NOT EVIL SPIRITS, CREATE DEVIL'S GARDENS IN THE AMAZON RAINFOREST, STUDY FINDS, September 21

For the first time, scientists have identified an ant species that produces its own natural herbicide to poison unwanted plants. Stanford University biologist Deborah M. Gordon and her co-workers describe the findings in the Sept. 22 issue of the journal Nature.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6662.html

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 06:05 PM

I'd plan for power outages, wind, and rain. Of course, it all depends on the path.

(By the way, my mother-in-law is named Rita....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 02:55 PM

I would be prepared more than rain from Rita, Stilly. You're about 300 miles from the projected landfall point which is about as far as Birmingham, Alabama, is from where Ivan made landfall last year. When we were in Birmingham a couple of weeks after Ivan hit, people were telling us of numerous downed trees and 24-hour power outages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 01:38 PM

Okay, I've run out of everything else to do. Might as well head down to the office. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 11:37 AM

I hope she's going to bring some much-needed rain our way by the weekend. See if this loads. We're up in the late Saturday/early Sunday area as far as the predicted path, so it would ordinarily be a big sloppy rain storm by the time it gets here. But I don't think anyone is going to dismiss it as something that is going to happen to someone else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 09:21 AM

Just call her "Lutefisk" and be done with it. You can say to your kids, "Grab Lute and let's get outa here" and before you know it you'll have a lot of brand new friends on the police department.

Rita gonna cause you trouble, Stilly?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:19 AM

Oh ya, sure, MAggie, dots good. Sure! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:07 AM

If I were being true to my roots, I could name her for the crucial ingredient in lutefisk. Shout "Lye!" out the door and she'd never get anywhere, would she?

Lefse, anyone?

Anise is a kind of nice name. Or Poppy or Chili Pepper. I'm mulling them over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:30 PM

No, gumbo's not a spice, but gumbo filet is. Just name the dog "Gumbo Filet" and drop the "Filet" part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:17 PM

Gumbo isn't a spice, it's a dish. Maybe I should lean toward a meal type--cinnamon sugar at breakfast, along with honeybuns? (Horrible tasteless sweet things that are very popular in Central Texas, to the south of us).

Geez. My dog (the one who is already here) is about to turn herself inside out, barking at the geckos on the patio ceiling. (I aggravated things by taking a flashlight out to see what it was, because she has also caught snakes in the yard, and with the light I showed her just how many are up there!) Maybe black holes are just other Gluon's that over-exerted themselves at play and turned themselves outside-in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:30 PM

Oh, geez. Them scientist guys make mountains outa molehills. Anybody with half a brain would realize in an instant that that's where Gluon hid his chew toys. Again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 09:19 PM

Maybe black holes are sentient. And maybe they're smart enough to realize that if they eat up all their stars in one sitting it'll be a long time before the next meal. So they keep a few rotating just far enough from the event horizon to keep 'em from flying to pieces. Meanwhile, the stars are getting really hot from all that gravitation, so it's sorta like a cosmic slow-cooking rotisserie. Just keep an eye on that black hole and you'll see one of those blue stars get eaten, followed by a really loud burp of Hawking radiation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:51 PM

MEanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away:

Hubble finds mysterious disk of blue stars around a black hole

September 20, 2005
      

Astronomers using the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope have identified the source of a mysterious blue light surrounding a supermassive black hole in our neighbouring Andromeda Galaxy (M31). Though the light has puzzled astronomers for more than a decade, the new discovery makes the story even more mysterious.

The blue light is coming from a disk of hot, young stars. These stars are whipping around the black hole in much the same way as planets in our solar system are revolving around the Sun. Astronomers are perplexed about how the pancake-shaped disk of stars could form so close to a giant black hole. In such a hostile environment, the black hole's tidal forces should tear matter apart, making it difficult for gas and dust to collapse and form stars. The observations, astronomers say, may provide clues to the activities in the cores of more distant galaxies.

By finding the disk of stars, astronomers also have collected what they say is ironclad evidence for the existence of the monster black hole. The evidence has helped astronomers rule out all alternative theories for the dark mass in the Andromeda Galaxy's core, which scientists have long suspected was a black hole.

"Seeing these stars is like watching a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. You know it happened but you don't know how it happened," said Tod Lauer of the National Optical Astronomy Observatory in Tucson, Arizona. He and a team of astronomers, led by Ralf Bender of the Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestrial Physics in Garching, Germany, and John Kormendy of the University of Texas in Austin, made the Hubble observations. ...



So...

........

Who ya gonna call? That's what I wanna know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 06:56 PM

I beg to differ, Bunn. All you have to do is learn how to do a perfect imitation of the "click-pshew" sound of a can opener piercing a can. Then, name your cat "Click-Pshew". He'll come every time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:02 PM

You expected cats to come when called? That would be your mistake....

If you tried the correct call, like leaving some very nice meat unguarded in the kitchen, then they'll come running. Their names? No chance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:43 PM

Spices automatically make me think of Cajun cooking. If it were my dog I'd name it "Gumbo".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:33 PM

I once had two kittens. I named one God. I named the other Dammit. When I called out, "GodDAMMIT!" they both ran away. I think they were retarded or something.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:09 PM

Perhaps covering the subject with an overarching name:

Shilling (west coast)
or
McCormick (east coast)

ala

Best Foods (west coast)
Hellmans (east coast)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:32 PM

I'll leave what to call the holes she digs in the backyard to your imagination....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:31 PM

If not Gluon, how about Meson? Or Electron (as in the play "Mourning Becomes Electron"). Or Positron? Or Boson? But if you must use spice, I vote for asafitida. Just imagine the neighbors looks! "Here, Ass, come on girl, get IN here, you, Ass...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:53 PM

I didn't add fenugreek to my list because it might give away that I was referring to an Indian cookbook to get some of those spellings. (I was--I couldn't remember how to spell asafetida).

I could make a generalized spice reference and name her Masalla.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:41 PM

How about Coriander?

You mentioned chili pepper. After your SS prezzies to me earlier this year, I think that would be very apt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:38 PM

Curry.
Anise.
Annatto.
Bay.
Fennegeek.
Dill.
Paprika.
Parsley.
Wasabi.

I think that Fennegeek would be good. You could shorten it to "Geek."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:30 PM

Capiscum!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:12 PM

Whatever I call them, I'll certainly NEVER make the mistake of cramming these two lab-sized dogs into a single spaniel-sized cage.

Nutmeg
Cardamom
Ginger
Paprika
Mace
Asafetida
Clove
Chili Pepper
Fennel
Poppy
Pomegranate

One dog, so many possible names. . . (neighbors have a dog named Ginger, so I should probably skip that one).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:41 AM

Well, Maggie, since you've already named one dog after a spice you should stick with the same theme. Just don't name the new dog "Cumin". It'd be too confusing for Cinnamon if you were always calling "Cumin, Cinnamon!" Poor thing'd be going "But I'm already in! Has this woman lost her mind?" Kinda like the guy who named his dog "Heel"....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:27 AM

Folks who don't know what a gluon (as opposed to Gluon) is wouldn't understand anyway. Folks who know what a gluon is will be confirmed in their opinion that you're nuts.

Either way, you needn't explain.


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