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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 08 Sep 03 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 03 - 09:11 PM
GUEST,This Author Ain't Offer 08 Sep 03 - 09:30 PM
Amos 08 Sep 03 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 03 - 10:02 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Sep 03 - 10:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Sep 03 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 03 - 11:09 PM
Amos 08 Sep 03 - 11:50 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 03 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 03 - 09:11 AM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 03 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 03 - 10:15 AM
Amos 09 Sep 03 - 10:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Sep 03 - 11:09 AM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 03 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 03 - 03:09 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 03 - 03:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Sep 03 - 03:47 PM
Amos 09 Sep 03 - 03:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Sep 03 - 07:07 PM
Amos 09 Sep 03 - 08:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 03 - 09:13 PM
Amos 09 Sep 03 - 09:46 PM
GUEST,Terror, Inc. 10 Sep 03 - 06:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Sep 03 - 07:18 PM
GUEST,Tweed The GoldenOne 10 Sep 03 - 08:02 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 10 Sep 03 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 03 - 09:09 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 03 - 11:49 AM
GUEST 11 Sep 03 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 11 Sep 03 - 12:29 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 03 - 07:11 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Sep 03 - 10:57 PM
Amos 12 Sep 03 - 12:17 AM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 12 Sep 03 - 12:27 AM
Rustic Rebel 12 Sep 03 - 09:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Sep 03 - 01:39 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 03 - 01:52 PM
Little Hawk 14 Sep 03 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 03 - 08:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Sep 03 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,Florido Domingo 14 Sep 03 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 03 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 03 - 10:31 PM
GUEST,Florido Domingo 15 Sep 03 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 15 Sep 03 - 01:22 PM
Amos 15 Sep 03 - 01:41 PM
GUEST,Kim Pak Lee 15 Sep 03 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,Florido Domingo 15 Sep 03 - 05:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 08:58 PM

A certain Mudcat luminary with a one syllable name synonymous with a type of fabric which is sometimes used to upholster guitar cases and amplifiers has been kind enough to bring the following to my attention:

All MOAB posts by freds, Ralphs, Cosmic Honcho, Galactic Overlord etc. - that is to say all posts made by "people" from someplace other than the planet Earth - have been made by one anonymous individual. That individual is not one of the "usual suspects". It is not Tweed, Amos, Little Hawk, Rapaire, Spaw, khandu, Carol C, Rustic Rebel, Mmario, yours truly or any of our ilk. It is Joe Offer! Please register your shock and dismay at your earliest convenience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:11 PM

Amos, as you are undoubtedly aware, the potential for BS approaches infinity. This can be expressed mathematically as


Bs



Since by definition nothing can exceed (even though the speed of light ( c ) has been passed (vide, e.g., Gunter Nimtz’s work in 1994 and after on superluminal photon tunneling)), the amount of BS in the Universe, while immense is finite. Certain research, however, strongly suggests that it is the same as Avogadro’s Number (6.02214199 × 1023). Debate rages about whether it number is representative of weight or volume of BS, however.



As mentioned, Nimtz and others have apparently been successful in their work where photons exceed c. The implications of this work is staggering in relation to BS. In their article Superluminal Photonic Tunneling And Quantum Electronics, Nimtz and Heitmann make passing reference to the problem of superluminal photons and the Past.



They do not, in my opinion, explore the matter enough, however. Photons, as we know, can be carry information. Indeed, the very first proof of superluminal tunneling carried the information of Mozart’s music. If, however, information-carrying photons can slip into the past, the amount of BS available becomes frightening. To put it bluntly, all of the BS of the Present and Future is sneaking up on us from the Past. We will have to deal in the Present not only with BS of the Present, but all BS which has ever been or which ever will be created, including this post. Don’t look back, it’s probably gaining on you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,This Author Ain't Offer
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:30 PM

I, and I alone, am the Galactic Overlord, freds, Debbie Earl, Bubba Bubba, Moloch, and God Almighty. And I sure as hell ain't Joe Offer. Why then should I register shock and dismay? Huh? Why? Wait, I often shock and dismay myself!

Shock!

Dismay!

Shock!

Dismay!

I'll stop, because I need some shock and dismay for tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:58 PM

Well, your reasoning is sound indeed, Rapaire and I can only concur to the extent it is taken; but it stops short one step too soon.

The next datum which must be posited in evolving this model is that the only model which can embrace the apparent linear pattern of apparent photonic transitions and the bi-directional transitional capabilities which seem to bring the BS of the past into the short-horizon of the near future is that all BS is here now; and even though actualized BS cannot exceed infinity, potential BS which equals the sum of sets past + present + future BS is approximated by infinity x 10^3 in volume of possible permutations.

We have little fear that this set will ever appear to be bounded experientially; but it is possible that someone may be able to mathematically define a boundary to the set as a function of i.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 10:02 PM

I'll ask my nephew Tony to do it. He's a math sort, and nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 10:44 PM

Huh?
I think I'm lost. I think the quantum physics leap has leapt,leaving me logically lingering in a limp and lavish frame of lethargy. I have now become a lackadaisical lotus eater.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 10:44 PM

Dear Author (who ain't Offer),

Okay, okay. It was just a conspiracy theory. Consider the source (Tweed). Whadda ya expect? Well thought out logical reasoning? I repeat, "Consider the source (Tweed)." Well, actually Tweed didn't say that it was Joe Offer. He said that, for all we know, it could be Joe Offer. A minor distinction by MOAB standards.

However, anyone who still wishes to register shock and dismay is welcome to do so. In fact, you may as well go ahead and register your shock and dismay now while the lines are short. We hear that everyone will have to register his or her shock and dismay no later than January First, 2004. After that date having unregistered shock and dismay will be a punishable offense and will probably result in agents from the Department of Homeland Security knocking on your door at 3:00 AM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 11:09 PM

Then, Amos, you believe that the so-called Butterfly Effect will, as some posit, create a BS locus with sheafs of all possible BS variations congruent to it? If so, then we can accept that infinity-minus-one of all possible BS exists at any given dimensional coordinate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 11:50 PM

Dear Sir:

I was moved to inform you, just now, of my complete agreement with your hypothesis; but on reflection I hastened not so to do in order to avoid the probable consequences posited by Butterfly Effect Theory when it intersects with the quantum string structure of meta-temporal spacation. The risk was too high--if the effect had in fact manifested it might have meant the appearance of the [BS set defined] on this very thread!! I could not take that risk. Therefore, I will not post informing you of my agreement. I am sure you will understand.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 09:09 AM

Thank you. Now that that's settled theoretically, I propose a grant be given to anyone who wishes to prove it experimentally, as long as they do it elsewhere.

Oh, dear God, I just realized that such experimentation is being done on a non-regulated basis in every national, state/province, and local center of government! This far outsrips anything we can do here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 09:11 AM

Hot dog! I got to post the last digital thread for a while! The 15th!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 10:03 AM

i WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER MY shock AND dismay WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME TO DO SO!

Damn caps lock! I am so shocked and dismayed that I forgot to check it.

I predict that this thread will go on about as long as the American intervention in Vietnam did, and with similarly useful results for all concerned, but with a much lower body count.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 10:15 AM

Cool, LH! Kin we have protest marches and sit-ins and teach-ins and take over buildings and anti-MOAB songs and everything? If we wrote anit-MOAB songs we could move MOAB above the line and into repectablity.

And love-ins. I always liked them love-ins.

I'll start:

"Bring our BS home!"

"Hey, hey, Rapaire,
How much BS did you post todee?"

(Okay, okay, it doesn't rhyme otherwise.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 10:30 AM

Rapaire rhymers with todee? IT's pronounced Rap-ai-ree? I don't think so. Stay off the thread until you learn how to pronounce your name properly, young man!

Hey, hey, ole Rapaire
Which post made you lose your hair?

Yo! Yo! Leedle Hawk!
BS is the way you talk!

Yay, hey! Bruce Da Man
He can BS like no-one can!!

Yip, yip! Master Tweed
Turns out BS by the screed!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 11:09 AM

Amos! Best in all the land
For BS you can't understand!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 11:29 AM

The idea of writing songs about the MOABS to gain it respectability on the forum is absolutely brilliant!!! I say we launch a song challenge thread on that very basis...

I predict that most of the membership will step gingerly around it as they would around a fresh, steaming piece of dog excrement on the sidewalk...but...you can never tell.

I think Amos can come up with a good song on the MOABS in no time flat.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 03:09 PM

Oh the time will come up when the posts will stop
And the BS will cease to be BSin'
Like a stillness in the wind 'fore it really hits the fan
The hour when MOAB comes in.
Then the folks will split and the BS will hit
And the manure in the fields will be increasin'
Then the tide will sound and the waves will pound
And the BS dikes will be breakin'.

O the 'Catters will cry as they step into a "pie"
And waste treatment plants'll be a-pumpin'
And you won't see rocks or sand when it really hits the fan
The hour when MOAB comes in.
And the stuff that is used for to get MOAB confused
Will become another part of the problem
For the chains of BS will have busted in a mess,
And you'll be buried at the bottom of an "ocean."

The BS will lift as the MOAB shifts
And the stuff drifts into every threadline
And there will be respect for the smallest fleck
The hour when MOAB comes in.
Then the BS will spill down every brook and rill
That your weary toes will be a-touching
And MOAB's wise folks* will remind you once again
That the whole wide world is retching.


             *I refuse to be a party to Dylan's chauvistic original.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 03:15 PM

Aw, get out, Rapaire! "Wise men" is simply a good rhyming partner for "once again", and that's why he used it, not because of chauvinism.

Great effort, though. I like it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 03:47 PM

I just snagged this from a posting over at Tweed's place, the notorious Tweed's Blues. It just had to be posted on the MOAB. I don't know who this guy is, but he is definitely a candidate for the BS Hall of Fame. Click here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 03:51 PM

Oh, my name it means nuthin'
And my posts, they mean less
And my personal best, it
Is in posting BS
I was raised to invent it,
I now will confess
And the best I can offer you
Is purely BS.

Now the lads of the MOAB
They are wild and untamed
And none there lie easy
There are none unashamed
For they roar like the warm wind
From the south and the west,
But all that they roar is,
Most purely BS

Now the BS is thick there
Down south of the salt
It will make your eyes water,
And your stomach will vault
So I'm telling you now, boys,
Turn away, and head West,
Or the rest of your lifetime
Will be purely BS....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 07:07 PM

FEEL LIKE I'M FIXIN' TO SPOUT BS RAG
(With apologies to Country Joe McDonald)

Come on you whacko women and men
MOAB, it needs your help again.
That's the Mother of BS Threads,
Where people are weird and outta their heads.
So put down your guitar and pick up a mouse,
Spreadin' BS all through the house.

And its l, 2, 3 what are we writin' for?
The reason is anyone's guess. Hell, I reckon we love BS!
And its 5, 6, 7 no need to speculate,
We're havin' a ball and it ain't no lie, just watchin' the BS fly.

Come on people, get with the plan,
There's BS fryin' in the fryin' pan.
Talkin' 'bout Ralphs and talkin' 'bout freds.
Talkin' BS till we're out of our heads.
It's BS tomorrow and it's BS today.
God! The BS won't go away.

And its l, 2, 3 what are we writin' for?
The reason is easy to guess. Good God! We just love BS!
And its 5, 6, 7 no need to speculate,
We're crazy as hell and it ain't no lie, just watchin' the BS fly.

Now when Country Joe first wrote this song,
It had four verses and that's too long,
To carry on like a brainless twit,
About how much we love bullshit.
So I guess I better stop right here,
Cause the BS is up to my ears.

And its l, 2, 3 what are we writin' for?
The reason is easy to guess. Yeehaw! God, we love BS!
And its 5, 6, 7 no need to speculate,
We're out of our minds and it ain't no lie, just watchin' the BS fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 08:47 PM

Hey, BWL!! That was great!! Raises one question, though...if we're all so great how come we ain't wealthy??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 09:13 PM

(So sorry, Pete!)

It was back in two thousand an' three
I was part of a good-time group.
We were on the net in Idyhoo
One night by the light of the tube.
King Khandu told us to build a thread,
And that's how it all begun.
We were knee deep in the Big MOAB,
But the big fool said to move on.

Ol' Tweed said, "Khandu, are you sure,
This is the best way back to build this thread?"
"Tweed, go on; I once built a thread
Just a little bit of a place.
It'll be a little stinkin' but just keep thinkin'
We'll soon be outa BS."
We were waist deep in the Big MOAB
And the big fool said to push on.

Amos said, "Khandu, with all this BS
No one'll be able to breathe."
"Amos, don't be a party pooper,"
King Khandu said to him.
"All we need is a little bit more BS;
Amos, follow me, I'll lead on."
We were neck deep in the Big MOAB
And the big fool said to push on.

All of a sudden, the Mudcat crashed,
We heard a mournful sound.
A few seconds later, the King Khandu's mouse
Was found on the muddy ground.
Bee-dubya-ell said, "Turn it on, men,
And women, and freds, and Debbie Earl."
And we just made it out of the Big MOAB
With Khandu 'n' Bubba Bubba gone.

We never ever found his body
But then we didn't look.
I guess he didn't know that the BS was deeper
Than any place he'd ever been took.
So many posts had joined the Big MOAB
That the 'Cat just shook and shook.
We'd been lucky to escape from the Big MOAB
When the damn fool said to push on.

Waist deep in the Big MOAB
And Khandu says to push on
Waist deep in the Big MOAB
And Tweed, he says to push on
Waist deep! Neck deep!
Soon even a tall man'll be over his head
Waist deep in the BIG MOAB!
AND LITTLE HAWK SAYS TO PUSH ON!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 09:46 PM

All righty then -- and we don't need no Cow Chip reewards because it is ALL cowchip!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Terror, Inc.
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 06:58 PM

BWAH-HAHAHAHA!!

It's a MOAB of laughter, a MOAB of tears
It's a MOAB of hopes and a MOAB of fears
There's so much BS that we share
That it's time we were aware
It's a small MOAB after all
It's a small MOAB after all
It's a small MOAB after all
It's a small MOAB after all
It's a small, small MOAB
There is just one Khandu
And one golden Tweed
And BS means friendship and BS need
Though the freds divide
and the BS is wide
It's a small MOAB after all


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 07:18 PM

I've been mulling the proposition so astutely stated by Rapaire that the potential for BS approaches infinity. While it is quite true that from a quanttitative standpoint there is probably a heaping portion of BS for every subatomic particle in the known Universe, BS from a qualitative standpoint is a different matter all together. We must ask ourselves, "Is the purpose of MOAB to compile as much BS as possible in one steaming pile, or to seek out the best BS?"

I believe that it is our responsibility to the Mudcat community, nay, to humanity at large, to find the one, the ultimate, the Grand Celestial Poobah of all BS. I believe each lunatic who posts here on a regular basis should immediately devote himself/herself/itself to

THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY BS!


I, for one, will make no further pasts to this thread until I have found what I think is at least a worthy candidate for

THE HOLY BS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed The GoldenOne
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 08:02 PM

HAW!! Yore threats are obv no content BeeDubba, my Florida Brother. There is no need to go to the Mountain in search ob the Holiest ob Holy BS. Just look in the mirror! You will say, "Holy Shit! There it is!!! It wabaz me all along..." ;~)
Yerz,
GoldenBoy Tweedzzrzz


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 11:12 PM

HELP! Bee-dubya's rollin' on th' floor holdin' his belly goin', "Tweed fonny! Tweed fonny!" What in th' heck have you crazy mofos done to th' pore boy this time.

Hell, I got home this evenin' an' Bee-dubya said he'd gone out to buy a horse to go on a quest to look fer somethin' called "The Holy BS". Said he went to our neighbors' to see if they had a horse for sale but all they were willin' to sell was one of those damned hee-hawing jackasses that they raise fer whatever damned reason anybody'd wanna raise jackasses. So he bought one of the damned things. And then he went lookin' fer a sword to take on this quest and the closest thing we had to a sword was a rusty ole prunin' saw.

Well, I guess he'll be ridin' off on his ass in th' mornin' wavin' his prunin' saw and lookin for whatever in the hell The Holy BS is. Hope he makes it home by Friday afternoon.

Listen, just between me and you, the boy ain't right.    He's a little tetched in th' head ya know. Anything ya'll can do to kinda point ole Bee's head in the general direction of reality would be appreciated.

Mrs. Bee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 09:09 AM

Mrs. Bee, I shore as heck hope y'all ain't got many windwills down yore way.

Another thing he's gonna need 'sides a sword is a pure heart. The only one of King Arthur's knights to find the Grail wuz Sir Galahad, and he was the purest an' most virginal of Art's boys. Ol' Bee-dubya might be that, cuz I ain't about to pry inta his life, but I sorta doubt it.

But then agin, he's lookin' for the Holy BS, so mebbe he's the one to find it.

Keep us informed now, ya hear? An' if I see him out this way I'll let ya know how he's doin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 11:49 AM

Why are we here? This is a question that needs answering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 12:03 PM

I am I! Bee- Dubya - a lord of the Mudcat! My destiny calls and I go! and the the wild wind from spawdom may bellow out after - whither soever I go.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 12:29 PM

Look, ya'll. That GUEST person was an obvious impostor. Yes, Bee-dubya is severely afflicted with Multiple Personality Disorder, but I know all of 'em and GUEST is a phony! Neither Bee-dub nor any of his imaginary mental minions post entirely in italics. Bold size #8 fuchsia, yes, but never all italics. Bee-dubya is off huntin' for the HOLY BS and he has asked me to tell you crazy damned fools that he is serious about not posting to the MOAB until he has found it. So, anybody pretendin' to be Bee-dubya-ell ain't him until such time as he reveals his candidate for the HOLY BS. Got it?

Mrs. Bee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 07:11 PM

Look, I can save him a whole lot of trouble. The Holy BS is none other than (drum roll)

* * * Bill Shatner * * *

Yes, the mighty Bill Shatner! Note that his informal initials ARE "B.S."!!! Note that his unique style of emoting has never been equalled. Imitated, yes, but never equaled!

HE is the Holy BS! It's indisputable, undeniable, and unavoidable.

Shatner rules!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 10:57 PM

Well now I reckon if you are travelin' my way this week-end you'll find some holy BS. I'll let you sit in with the band Bee-dubya. Let me tell you about our new band.
We were sittin' around one night and got to playin' some crazy shit with a washtub bass, piano, washboard and guitar and the stranger we got the stranger the music got. It was like an aria with scenes and acts and it went on for about two hours (one song). During the song I came up with the name of our band, we are now known as, "Erect Fossils". So I decide it's time to throw our annual September party (Harvest Moon Gathering) and I telling people about this band Erect Fossils, that play one song, an hour and a half long, the song is called "Erection". I have people curious about the band, hell they never heard of that band before.
So I'm committed now, we built a stage in the front yard, close to the fire, close to the horseshoe pits, close to trails and the house. Pretty cool. So I started to talk to some other people to come and play and it's looking like we have 3 bands, a couple of solo acts, a comedy act, and some strippers all coming out this weekend for what looks like it's going to be one hell-of-a-party!
To make a long story longer, Erect Fossils (me and friends) are going to get on stage completely clueless to what we did the first time so we're going to just hope it comes to us like in a dream or something.
So you come on over Bee-Dub oh holy one and find yourself some down home, purer than mushroom, bullshit.
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 12:17 AM

Woopee dang doodle, BW! That's an invitation not to be lightly considered -- I wouldn't turn it down, an' I were you!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 12:27 AM

Dear Rustic Rebel,

Unless you live in Eufaula, Alabama Bee-dubya will not be makin it to yore party this weekend. He is regretful, especially since you say you are gonna have strippers there and he is mighty partial to nekkid wimmen. He says you are welcome to our next party as long as you bring the strippers with you.

Bee-dubya has decided that he is being called to Eufaula, Alabama because the HOLY BS just might be there. He's not real sure, but he thinks that "Eufaula" is the Creek Indian word for "bullshit" and that makes the area some sorta spiritual BS locus. Then again, maybe not.

Mrs. Bee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 09:30 AM

Well now Mrs. Bee,
I don't recall saying anything about them being women strippers! Hell, I've been busy all night making roadkill loinclothes for these guys. I'll tell you what Mrs. Bee, maybe you should come over while your husband is making his way south, you might be pleasantly surprised!
Off I go now, I get to custom fit every one of those loin cloths before the show starts.
Rustic (who will posting back in about 3 days, headache or not!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 01:39 PM

I have returned from my pilgrimage to Eufaula, Alabama and have located a viable candidate for the HOLY BS! Actually, it wasn't in Eufaula, Alabama at all, but I found it while reflecting on the John Prine concert that I missed on Friday night due to the necessity of the Eufaula pilgrimage. Actually, had I not undertaken the pilgrimage, I wouldn't have gone to see J.P. anyway because Ticketmaster wanted around $40.00 (USD) per ticket. Sorry, John, but that's too damned much! Well, as my little mind pondered the issue of concert ticket prices, the identity of the HOLY BS appeared out of the mist like a stopped school bus!

Little Hawk was right about the "B.S." initials thing, but it wasn't Bill Shatner. The HOLY BS is none other than Barbara Sreisand! Yes, folks, that's it! Think about it: Do you know a single person who can stand the woman's music or acting? I don't. So how in the hell does she do sold-out concerts where tickets for good seats go for thousands of bucks? Because all her fans are gazillionares! That's why I don't know any Streisand fans. Because my friends thing it's a big deal to spend $2,000 on a guitar, not $2,000,000 on a friggin' yacht! If Shatner's undeserved prominence is due to cult admiration by the unwashed masses, Streisand's success is due to similar devotion on the part of the very rich. I rest my case and await your comments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 01:52 PM

Bee-dubya-ell, with all due respect, and not wantin' to start any fights or nothin', you're nuts. But you might be partly right about the BS. After all, it might be that the Ultimata Thule, the ne plus ultra, the Absolute Zero (so to speak) of BS might be a concert with both Bill and Barbie appearing together?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:45 PM

Bee-Dub, you are absolutely right!!!!!!! Barbra Streisand is the all-time no-holds-barred QUEEN of BS! And for totally opposite reasons to the ones which make Bill Shatner the KING of BS. I'd rather eat an old shoe than sit through one of her movies or listen to one of her albums. The sheer wonder of it all has me in a rare state of inspiration similar to what must have come over Sir Snidely Tillinghast when he realized that finches do not normally nest in Antarctica. I am hyperventilating and have an acute desire to snort cashews. In short, I am stunned!

Look, I can't afford to book Barbra, but I think for a mere couple of hundred bucks I could talk Shatner into attending your upcoming concert and popping out of a cake wearing a very small, black G-string. Maybe even get him to sing a song.

What say?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:50 PM

Hey, I'll kick in ten buck US for that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 09:03 PM

My mind has been reeling in utter shock and dismay for the last seven hours.... ever since Rapaire made mention of the upcoming Shatner/Streisand concert. I can see the booking now!

STREISAND!!!!
SHATNER!!!!
NOT JUST BS!!!!
NOT JUST BS DOUBLED!!!!
IT'S BS SQUARED!!!!



The folks at Ticketmaster are seeing huge dollar signs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Florido Domingo
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 09:17 PM

¡Estoy trastornado porque esta discusión muy importante no ha incluido comentarios de los Americanos Latinos! ¡Esto es injusto! Es tiempo que el mundo de habla hispana consiguió contribuir algunos pensamientos aquí. Me prepongo hablar y hablar y hablar hasta que le consigo la gente escuchar. Me determinan para triunfar. No daré adentro y no me entregaré. ¡Soy Florido Domingo y me río de sus tentativas débiles de intimidar el valiente quiénes no lo hacen flinch del peligro!

p.s. ¡También, Shatner es un idiota!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 10:17 PM

Maybe we could get BS (Male) to wear that little black g-string and BS (Female) to perform in wearing only a little black thong. Both of them, in a sense, wearing a black velvet band.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 10:31 PM

Por Florido:

Quizá podríamos obtener BS (masculinas) para llevar ese tanga y BS (hembra) negro pequeño para realizar a llevar sólo una correa negra pequeña. Ambos, en un sentido, llevando una banda negra del terciopelo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Florido Domingo
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 12:03 PM

¡Una qué noción impactante! Continúo siendo sorprendido en el extravagance vile de la cultura norteamericana. Pensaría que uno podría encontrar fácilmente una manera más atractiva de ofender a gente que combinando Shatner y Streisand en un espectáculo visual de tal naturaleza que horrorizaba. ¿Cuándo sucederá?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 01:22 PM

¿Así pues, Florido, hay ésos en el mundo de habla hispana (y mí no excluya España sí mismo) que usted propondría como el rey o la reina de BS? Maravillas de un mundo que esperan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 01:41 PM

Sus madres!! Porque no pueden hablar in Ingles como los gentes educados? Eh?? Pinches cabrons!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim Pak Lee
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 02:27 PM

Amos 의 너는 외국인 혐오자, 미국 firster 의 첫번째 물, 다른 사람을 너에 이기적인 소위 " Americana Pax 밟아 달라고 하 고 않않는 누구의 anglophile 이다, " a jackbooted 미국의 수 풀과 Cheney's 시각의 stormtrooper을. 밴조가 너에 의하여 그 리고 논다 !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Florido Domingo
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 05:11 PM

Amos, tu hijo de puta, si le cojo tu estará en apuro grande. Emasculate le con un cuchillo embotado. Donaré sus cojones al Instituto de Estudios Mexicanos en Guadalajara. ¡El tuyo será un sino más horrible!


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