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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 16 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM
Amos 16 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM
Peace 16 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM
Amos 16 Dec 03 - 04:01 PM
Tweed 16 Dec 03 - 04:06 PM
khandu 16 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM
CarolC 16 Dec 03 - 09:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM
GUEST,Shirly Holmes-Bi/lateral 16 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 03 - 08:49 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 03 - 06:32 PM
Rustic Rebel 18 Dec 03 - 12:43 AM
catspaw49 18 Dec 03 - 01:23 AM
Tweed 18 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:26 AM
catspaw49 18 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM
Amos 18 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM
GUEST,Albert McSwiggins 18 Dec 03 - 07:34 PM
khandu 18 Dec 03 - 07:36 PM
khandu 18 Dec 03 - 08:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 09:40 PM
khandu 18 Dec 03 - 09:56 PM
Amos 18 Dec 03 - 10:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 10:24 PM
khandu 18 Dec 03 - 10:40 PM
GUEST,Bill Wyman 18 Dec 03 - 10:55 PM
Amos 19 Dec 03 - 12:17 AM
catspaw49 19 Dec 03 - 12:47 AM
Tweed 19 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 03 - 08:37 AM
Amos 19 Dec 03 - 09:00 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 03 - 10:55 AM
GUEST,Albert McSwiggins 19 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM
CarolC 19 Dec 03 - 12:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 03 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 03 - 12:46 PM
Tweed 19 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 03 - 03:13 PM
Little Hawk 19 Dec 03 - 03:18 PM
Amos 19 Dec 03 - 03:56 PM
Little Hawk 19 Dec 03 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 03 - 04:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM

You couldn't have done it without me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM

And vice versey. That is the nature of BS -- each part of it is a reflection of all other parts of it.   It is like a Platonic Form which permeates all the insterstices of space itself to color every step, every day, every breath taken by mortal man.

"Wherever men take breath,
There shall there be B.S."

...as the old song says.

Well done to all concerned.

But we should also recognize that although it appears like an accomplishment, it is merely a reflection of the timeless whisper of the Ultimate Archetype of BS, rippling out souls in its relentless pursuit of ultimate Understanding.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

staples


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:01 PM

That should read "rippling OUR souls". Much less violent an image.

Brucie is that like a surgeon's instruction to an assistant? Or a random office-supplies comment? Or an agricultural update? Or what?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:06 PM

It's Bullshit Amos, of course. My god, how it courses through this thread...layered like last year's onion. Thanks Rapaire. Are your troops at the ready to spring the insaniac Khandu from his tormentors? The Tupelonians ride at dawn!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM

Let me begin.
See the Antelope Rutledge thread for news of my deliverance from the morality pricks.
The question I have for all you semicrazed MOABites as this:

Are you up for another 1600 post???

HELL YEAH!!!!!!

LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:37 PM

"Wherever men take breath,
There shall there be B.S."


Or maybe it should be:

Wherever men break wind,
There shall there be B.S.

(Oh... did I just say that? Nope. I don't think so.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

1600 more posts? Hell yeah! We iz jus' gettin' warmed up. Gotta be a whole buncha topics we haven't touched on yet. Let's see....

Ant farms
Bromo-Seltzer
Camels
Dramamine
Eels
Footwear
Giant Sloths
Hermaphrodites
Iceland
Jabberwocky
Kickboxing
Lorna Doones
Margarine
Nestle's Crunch Bars
Oreos
Presbyterianism
Quartz inversion
Robotic welding machines
Solar heating
Tanya Harding
Uvulas
Vericose veins
Water buffalo
Xavier Cougat
Yoda
Zoroastrianism

That should hold us for a while. That is, unless some smart-ass uses all 26 of 'em up in one post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shirly Holmes-Bi/lateral
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM

(To the tune of-I saw momma kissing santa)

I saw Little Hawk kissing Mar-gar-et
underneath the porch beside the shed.
He didn't see me leap, he don't know I'm a creep.
He thought that he was all alone , instead he had Tom Peep.

Then I saw Little Hawk biting down on her,
What a funny look upon his face.
Oh you guys should have been there,
when Margaret ran out of air,
Little Hawk blew up his doll last night.

(This of coarse has no reference to the fact that Hawk had a blow up doll he called- Margaret Thatcher)
*See Penelope gets engaged for further reference.

Yours very truly,
Shirly Holmes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 08:49 AM

Tanya Harding's uvula has vericose veins similar to those found in water buffalo, Xavier Cougat, or Yoda; her doctor has recommened an unconventional course of therapy: Bromo-Seltzer, Dramamine, quartz inversion, smoking Camels, and a conversion to evangelical Presybeterian Zoroastrianism.

THAT finishes off THOSE topics!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:32 PM

'Twas Iceland, and the Lorna Doones
Did eels and dramamine in the wave,
All oreos were the ant farms then,
And hermaphrodites did crave.



Somebody else finish this....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:43 AM

Bee-Dubya you sure put a kabosh to my idea of using all 26 of your listed ideas in one post. I also apologize to you for not sending get well wishes. I send them now. Better late then never right.
I want to BS about Christmas lights a bit.
Why is it I never put them away all nice and neat for the next year? I can't figure out why they work one year and then I take them out of their tangled up mess and have to work on finding the one bulb out of hundreds that doesn't work. Then I get them working and I put them up just to find they're not working again. Then I get a little frustrated and unplug them and will leave them unplugged until I can get to them again which will probably be after Christmas anyway. HA!
Ok, maybe that wasn't BS after all. Just a little ranting on my part that has nothing to do with anything. Just had to add to MOAB since it's been awhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 01:23 AM

Well I wasted some time catching up with this piece of crap and I gotta' tell ya' that this thread is as fucked up as it's always been. I congratulate you all on bringing new meaning to the words "monstrous shitpile."

BTW, if khandu is going off the deep end again and needs another exorcism, let me know. I'm out of the blow-up dolls but I have just acquired some stuff that might be useable. We had some high winds here the other night and my neighbor's Nativity Scene was blown away with a good bit of it landing in my yard. A lot of the pieces are only slightly damaged and some are in interesting positions. One of the Wise Men seems to be copping a feel from the Virgin Mary, Joseph is shagging a sheep, and the Baby Jesus is stuck halfway up a camel's ass.

Lemmee know..........

Spaw

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM

Spaw, I reckon that Liddle Harq will show some interest in yore new acquisitions az they sound like they are good durable products and not made obv rubber nor inflated and able to withstand vigorus abuse wifout blowin' a hole. I've gathered from hiz postings that the loss of hiz Margaret Thatcher life-size sex doll hab been a sorce of great constellation in his life.

Also, sinc you've here I would like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, az it is nearly that time again. Where does the time go? Seems like only yesterday you waz still shittin' yellow and now....well ...nevermind...

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM

RR, Christmas lights are an organic lifeform. Their natural state is linear, but when they are not "lit" (a technical term dealing with their seasonal nature) they attempt to reproduce.(1) They will make this attempt no matter how you arranged them when you "put them away."(2) Your annual attempts to "straighten them out" are not so much reducing a tangle as uncoupling an orgy.(3)


(1) Being a sterile lifeform this attempt fails, but they do have fun trying.

(2) Never use this phrase in their hearing, as they make not differentiation between "put" and "throw." If they hear this phrase they will engage in an even more complex orgy during the "off" season, hoping to at least have a little fun before the Big Off.

(3) The National Safety Council suggest quite strongly that no matter what your feeling are you do NOT join them. No matter how wired you are you could be shocked if you plug into this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:26 AM

Wow! Changing your 'Cat name changes ALL your postings! Cool!

(Formerly did business as "Rapaire," but still the same ultimately cool, virile, handsome, intelligent dude as before.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM

Geez Rap...What kinda' shinola is this anyway? A few of the sorryass troll Guest types seems to have induced a bout of name changing around here!!! Screw 'em!!! 'Course it's okay to be Mike obviously.....(:<))

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:36 AM

RR, please do not interpret my comment "unless some smart-ass uses all 26 of 'em up in one post" as an attempt to "put a kabosh to (your) idea of using all 26 of (my) listed ideas in one post". As you are a dedicated MOABite, you are a smart-ass by definition. Use 'em all up in one scattergun shot if it trips your trigger.

Personally, I prefer the one-at-a-time approach.

ANT FARM

When I was a kid, I had an ant farm - nothing fancy, just ants in a big jar. Being a sadistic little fucker I would feed live cockroaches to my ants. Being a stupid little fucker I didn't realize that the only reason I was able to catch the cockroaches to feed the ants was that they were in the last stages of terminal Raid poisoning. As I continued feeding poisoned roaches to the ants, my ant farm's population continued to decline until it was just a jar full of dirt.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. Something to do with the chain of connectedness between all life forms and human culpability in breaking that chain, right? Wrong. I learned that only fucking idiots have ant farms. Cool kids play guitar.



(I will approach the list of 26 subjects in alphabetical order, one post per day, some holidays and travel days excluded. That should guarantee at least another month of keeping this piece of shit from falling into the land of non-refreshed threads.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM

'Tain't them trolls. I was thinking about it anyway. Iffen them trolls want to look me up and try to punch out my lights or somethin' this'll make it easier for them.

Of course, they will have to get to Pocatello to do it, 'cause I don't normally go somewhere to get my lights punched out. Some do, but I learned better, mostly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM

But this means that when future generations gaze in awe upon this MOAB they will see posts by "Mike Doellman", not "Rapaire", yet they will read references within other posts to something that "Rapaire" said and wonder just who in the hell this "Rapaire" person is. They will have to read 1600+ posts to find the answer.

Perhaps this brings us back to the subject of the need for a fully anotated "Guide to the MOAB" complete with miles of footnotes, indices, cross-indices and clarification of references to obscure Babylonian scatalogical religious practices.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

By the way, I've noticed that our friend Brucie's "!" thread seems to have gone the way of the dodo. Brucie, abandon such egotistical attempts at establishing new threads to plumb the inane. There is already a thread whose entire function is inanity personified. That thread is MOAB. Join us and revel in the utter peace and tranquility found in the total immersion into BS that can only be achieved here, at the Mother of All BS Threads.

Join us. Become one with the BS. Renounce all earthly posessions. Send all your money to:

Bruce W. LaWall
2942 Walling Rd.
Milton, FL 32570


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

Hey, I'm a librarian! I could do it! Yeah! I could!

But I won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM

Good! It’ll help ‘em achieve a higher
state of consciousness
about MOAB! Folks
today are too dadgummed lazy, always wantin’ other
folks to do their work for ‘em.
I remember when I was a
mere lad, we had to work for our livin’ thirty-six hours each day
(we got time and a half for overtime)
and it was hard work, too, let me
tell you! Haulin’ water three miles each way, uphill both directions, dryin’ out buffalo chips for the fire, why...and
school, going to school, we loved school
because we knew that it was the best way to
get ahead even though we had to trudge, YES!,
trudge sixteen miles uphill each way in the face of a raging
blizzard even in the summer when the sun was sooooooo
hot it melted the very bricks in the streets like they was chocolate
bars and the teachers were tough but fair why I remember on time when my very own
bother.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM

Dang, the Genius around here is absoloomingly trepidacious at its maximus!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert McSwiggins
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 07:34 PM

Blimey! 'E goes on and on just like me dad always did about 'is fecking youth and 'ow 'ard it was. The type gets smaller and smaller as the listener slowly tunes 'im out and concentrates on eatin' a nice bit o' Pot Noodles instead...

So, what's this 'ere thread on about?

- Albert McSwiggins, part time Gardener and Philosopher


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 07:36 PM

After months of denial, I finally have admitted to myself the horrible truth; however, doing so has not made me a happy wombat, so I have now returned to a condition of denial. Or, in the words of the great & wondrously misquoted Harry Lee Wigley, "He that hath no dick is not a he."

Not that I "hath no dick". . . I do; & a rather impressive one at that! (See the "Erection" thread!)

But HLW spoke figuratively, the above quote really has nothing to do with having no dick but has more to do with having no idei of where I am going with this post, being as how I am actually being led by the spirit of Joe Offer. Did I say "Joe Offer"? What I meant was that I was being led by my gonads or either Tonya Harding who secretly wishes she was me, King khandu!

Of
course, I could do as Rap/Mike has done & use my real world name but my real world name is "Tweed" & that would confuse everyone since I am not the fellow with the Mudcat name "Tweed" who is in love with Penelope Rutledge, who I am not in love with nevertheless!

Perhaps ant farms are an excellent subject for MOAB after all! We could all use the info !

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:01 PM

Rustic Rebel is the Royal Poetess Lariat of Mississippi. Howbeit, she has done damned little poetessing lately. Perhaps a lovely rhyme from her would be befitting for this time of year upon my Royal ear. As a reminder to all, she is also the Royal Purveyor of Beauty, & as we all know, MOAB is the Place of Much Beauty!

Hear ye, hear ye!!! Allan C is hereby declared & decreed to be the KEEPER of FAMOUS LAST WORDS for his brilliant post in the early days of MOAB (the third post to this thread, I believe)!

&
now, this...

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:40 PM

Dear King khandu,

It has come to our attention that Mick Jagger has recently been knighted over in England. He is now a Knight of the Realm or the Round Table or whatever they call 'em over there nowadays.

It has also and likewise come to our attention that none of the other three surviving original members of the Rolling Stones have been made knights of didley-squat. We feel that this is a tremendous slighting on the part of the Queen of England. We're sure that, bein' a King yoreself you will probably agree that it is purty shabby behavior for a royal personage.

Anyway, we are feelin' kinda sorry for Keith and Bill and Charlie and was wonderin' if maybe you might throw 'em a bone and give 'em a title of some kind within the Court of Mississippi. I mean yore always givin' out titles like Royal Keeper of the Toilet Paper and such. We think it would be a very magnminos magnomious big gesture on yore part and would show Queenie 'Lizabeth how royalty should behave.

We were thinkin' of somethin' purty harmless and meaningless like His Majesty's Royal Mayhaw Jelly and Cane Syrup Testers. Chances are Keith or Bill or Charlie would never come to Tupelo to test any jelly or syrup, but it's the thought that counts and, hey, ya never can tell.

Yore KOT etc.

BWL


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:56 PM

My KOT has spoken wisely as usual! I will indeed consider this insightful proposal & shall respond posthaste!

Kk (AKA Tweed Splooz)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:06 PM

Your majesty I must second the motion made above, as keeper of the double Tongue. It would be magnanimous of you in the extreme and would probably make up for a lot of the harm in international relations caused by our national shrubbery. I would suggest "Royal Auroch Herder", "Keeper of the Harmonic Overtone", and "Royal Eighth Note Accountant" for these distinguished bluesmen, yer majeste!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:24 PM

Splendid suggestions on the titles there, Amos. Our King could do far worse than to accept your suggestions in toto (and perhaps in dorothy as well while he's at it).

And a most excellent job of spelling "magnanimous". I don't think I've ever seen it spelled with as much flair and precision.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:40 PM

Never let it be stated that King khandu is ignoble!

I hereby declare Keith Richard, Charlie Watts & the other guy to be given the Royal Titles which the Fine Jessup has so ably presented!

Kk (AKA Tweed Splooz)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bill Wyman
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:55 PM

Most honorable King khandu,

I humbly thank thee for your gracaous gift. I shall wear the Title with great honor. To be referred to is "the other guy" is in itself an honor, coming from you. It shows that you at least know I exist!

BW


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:17 AM

Jeeze, for a moment there I thought the King was never gonna pull his foot out!! Now, which of those high-falutin handles did his highness hand to whom???

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:47 AM

Hey!.....Over here.....Amos.....Tweed.......Bedubya.....Over here guys..........Geeziz he really is in bad shape isn't he? I had no idea he was so far gone......Pathetic, just pathetic............... Somethings got to be done....................

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM

Yaz Catspaw49, hiz higniess is fallen to gnew depts and that's no joke. I see that he now believes himself to be me in real life, when I ain't even me in real life! I think it would be a good time to capture hiz crazy ass an return him to NYIFTTS before he regresses hizzelf into a froth.

Royal Aurochs Herder? HAW! Good one Amos!

Yerz,
Tweed (the real yet unreal one)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 08:37 AM

Bertie, this is MOAB. It is All and None. Everything and Nothing. It is Pot Noodles and dinner at Maxim's. It is John O'Groats and London, Real Ale and Lite Beer. Herein are all of the Secrets of the Universe, if you can ferret them out. The secret to Wealth Untold is here, but herein is also Everyone's Despair and Destruction. This is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Filet Mignon and the cheap Hot Dog. Only by grasping MOAB in its entirety can you fully understand it, and you can only grasp its entirety by fully grasping its parts.

Or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 09:00 AM

How little did my mother think,
When first she diapered me,
That I would grow up as a link
On the Endless MOAB tree!

She never would have fed me milk
Nor warmed me in her bed
If she had thought I would become
A useless MOAB head.

But she is gone and I alone
Am left to find my way
Yet sometimes when the sun goes down
I can hear her sweet voice say:

"Oh stay away from bullshit, boy!
Speak sooth, or hold yer tongue!"
Oh how I wish I'd heeded her
In the days when I was young,

And how I long her face to view
Once more before I go
And in her gentle ears tell
My sorry tale of woe.

I know the things I long to say
If she were only here
Of how I grew to fall astray
Of bullshit, babes and beer,

I'd tell her all I have done wrong
And this I'd also say:
"I'm proud to be a MOAB, Mom!
I never truusted yer judgement much anywaaaay!"




Caldwell Tupperware Holmes
Anti-Temperance Songs of the Open Plain
Boston, 1894


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 10:55 AM

Now, I have absolutely no proof of what I'm about to say here, but please hear me out....

In the matter of King khandu's derangement, I have a gut feeling that it's far worse than many of you think. I just don't believe that a trip to the NYCFTTS will do it this time. Why? Please read the following post I originally made a mere nine days ago:

Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:50 PM

Now methinks King khandu has been cloned. The reason for his long absence has been made clear. The old King khandu would have said:

Constipated? Me, constipated? You're the one that's full of shit! And if I need a Royal Enema Deliverer it would be you, jerkoff!

And, while it's certainly nice not to be abused and belittled, I am a little concerned about this kinder, gentler khandu. Gotta be a clone.


Now, within the span of a few posts we have multiple instances of irrational behavior on our King's part. Not only did he readily acquiesce to my suggestion of honorifics for the three non-Mick Stones, he accepted Amos's suggestions of specific titles without question and then forgot Bill Wyman's name. (Yeah, Bill's not really in the band any more, but that's no excuse.)

In light of this further evidence, I now believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I said nine days ago is true. Our Khing has been khloned! The real khandu has been khidnapped and this milkhtoast has been enthroned in his place.

The "kidnapping" by the Morality Police over on that "!" thread was merely a ruse to confuse the issue! The clone was pretending to have been kidnapped to throw us off the trail while the real khandu lies in a dank dark room somewhere with nothing to eat or drink but nitrite-ridden hotdogs and Black Label beer. And in our rush to rescue the imposter we may have inadvertently given the evil khlone vital information about our troop strengths and capabilities.

We MOABites must rally our forces again. We must insert spies in all Waffle House and Cracker Barrel restaurants and find out where our true Khing is being held khaptive. When we have found where His True Majesty is we can begin the reskhue. I will put the SWAT Team (Simple-minded White Arian Trailer-trash) on high alert down here in Bubbaland.

I await your responses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert McSwiggins
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM

Bloody 'ell! This is one daft 'fread isn't it? I likes it. I fink Keef Richards ought to be made a Knight of the Realm wivout delay, merely for survivin' all these years wiv so much substance abuse and general mayhem. 'E's a right ripper, Keef is, and a credit to the nation! I fink all the Stones ought to be knighted, and Bill Wyman too becos 'e 'ad more sexual partners than even Brian Jones ('oo ought to be knighted postchumously).

This 'ere bugger Khandu sounds like a right entertainin' king to me, as would keep Britain's press fully occupied if 'e was king in England. 'E's obviously crackers. This is desirable in a king. It makes for good press. Besides, we English 'ave always 'ad an appreciation for eccentricity.

- Albert McSwiggins, sometime Gardener and political analist


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM

Knowledge of our forces and capabilities? Heck, Amos, I just rounded up the first couple hundred folks who seemed vaguely interested in rescuing Khandu, drinking beer, riding horses, and general mayhem, though maybe not in that order. Betcha if I worked at it I could get several thousand from the Snake River Plain alone.

Have you ever thought that perhaps Khandu doesn't WANT to be rescued? Maybe he's got some hotsy honeys to serve him the Black Label and hot dogs and he's happy where he is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:14 PM

We MOABites must rally our forces again. We must insert spies in all Waffle House and Cracker Barrel restaurants and find out where our true Khing is being held khaptive.

I'm already on it, Bee-dubya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:27 PM

Great job there, CarolC! But.... errrr.... mmmmm.... ya might wanna try leavin' th' accordian at home. Th' idea is t' be inconspicuous, ya know. Sumfin' 'bout accordians in Waffle Houses.... Why doncha jus' try sendin' JtS in there nekkid? It'd probly draw less attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 12:46 PM

Here's a picture of some of our Idaho forces during the recent Martian Invasion. Them's Martians in the background that we tricked into fighting each other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM

I fele sartin that QueenCarol the CrapperGurl will be the one who locates our Ruler and Benefacer az she did not too long ago when last he disjointed hisself fram the populuss. I aslo suspeck he is allied hiz worfless self with the brekdfas cook at some local eatery. Stay the Waffle House corse Carol and I will check the White Castles and Sonic's between Florida and the Khondom ob Missippi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:13 PM

I have taken the liberty of posting a CALL TO ARMS!!!! over at Tweedburg (Click Here). We need all the help we can get!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:18 PM

That's understating the matter...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:56 PM

See if I write any more songs for THIS group of MOABites.

"And it came to pass in those times in the land of the MOABites that a prophet came, singing songs and promulgating obfuscation, and the name of him was Amos. And sore abused was he, and to other lands did travel, for the MOABites were full of themselves and listened not."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 04:04 PM

I found it so moving that I was simply at a loss for words...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 04:26 PM

Don't nobody go abusin' Amos none or you'll have to answer to the Idaho Legion!


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