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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM
Acme 17 Jul 08 - 11:58 AM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 01:04 PM
Acme 17 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 02:08 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 02:55 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 10:34 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 09:54 AM
Amos 18 Jul 08 - 10:15 AM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 08 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 04:54 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 06:05 PM
Acme 19 Jul 08 - 02:05 AM
Acme 19 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 10:52 AM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 04:28 PM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM
Acme 19 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 08 - 03:47 AM
Amos 20 Jul 08 - 11:22 AM
Amos 20 Jul 08 - 02:15 PM
Acme 20 Jul 08 - 02:24 PM
Amos 20 Jul 08 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM
Amos 20 Jul 08 - 05:03 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 08 - 05:22 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 08 - 10:41 PM
Acme 20 Jul 08 - 11:18 PM
Amos 21 Jul 08 - 12:12 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 08 - 09:26 AM
Amos 21 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jul 08 - 12:14 PM
MMario 21 Jul 08 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM
Amos 21 Jul 08 - 07:54 PM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 01:12 AM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 06:55 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 08 - 09:27 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM

You're a piece of work, Rap, I gotta say. Such panache!! He's about to be picked up to go down the walk with the firing squad, and he chooses to pretty up. Nothing like clean underarms when the shells are flying, what?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 11:58 AM

At least he's not doing target practice in his back yard. Those golf balls on the other side of the fence are hard to hit for novice shooters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:04 PM

My grandfather had the trick of that. There's a brief pause at the top of the arc, when the climb stops and the fall starts; there's a brief clear instant when the object is relatively motionless--and that's when you hit it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM

I thought they'd take it easy and aim for the balls on the greens. No grass or weeds in the way. Try not to hit the golfers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 PM

The trick is to blast the golf ball with a sniper rifle while it's sitting on the tee...but you have to time it to just when the golfer is beginning his swing for the maximum effect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:08 PM

See, that's the modern generation for you--no love of challenge.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:55 PM

Whaddya mean "no challenge"? It's not easy to hunker down unseen a few hundred feet away in the bushes with a scope and rifle, and then nail that golf ball dead center with a 30 caliber slug at the last possible instant without hitting the guy who is taking the swing. It demands patience, impeccable accuracy, and perfect timing.

I demand a retraction of your disrespectful comment, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 03:11 PM

Hark!! Little Hawk is transmigrating into Rapaire!! Behold!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:24 PM

Mom:

I hope you weren't hurt in the crash today. I know it shook the ground on which you stand, but it did not hit the house in which we live.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM

It happened as I was posting to Mom. Naturally, I held onto her and calmed her as the ground shook, the skies darkened, and things generally went to hell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:34 PM

And that after having to watch LH morph into your persona before your very eyes. Wow, what a man. I know who I can count on to take a hit for Mom, any time Bobez makes it possible.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

I find it amusing to "ape" Rapaire now and then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 09:54 AM

Yesterday Rapaire took his supervisory staff out to a pistol range and we shot targets. We also discussed various library-related issues, such as the budget, etc. A good time was had by all, except maybe by those people with overdue materials who were used to hold the targets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 10:15 AM

I hope you got some good photos of all those winsome bookies drawing their beads. It would do so much for collections to post several of them around the library.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM

Be careful what you say, Amos. If too many materials are returned all at once they won't have enough book trucks to hold them. Pace yourself with those photos.

Start by putting them in the bathroom stalls, don't spread them over the entire building.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

Send me your email address and I'll send you a photo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM

Won't work on me--I haven't checked out any books at your library.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:40 PM

If all the books came back at once we wouldn't have a place to put them. The books would reach critical mass and there would be an information explosion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:45 PM

Imagine if that were ever to occur inside George Bush's skull...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM

No, there's nothing in there that will ever reach critical mass...or even subcritical mass. The sawdust moderator is too efficient. There is a neat squeaky toy in there, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:54 PM

Duck!!!

Incoming!!!

* * splat * *

*   *   *** * *
|    |    | | |   


Whew. That shit really splashes when you drop a bomb on that New Yorker obnoxious thread. Did MOM get any on her?

Sorry about that. Back to book talk.

We're getting ready to decorate our book trucks for the Info Fair at the beginning of the fall semester. They try to think of new things to get students into the library. Decorated book trucks is the idea this year.

Yeah, I know.

The staff have fun making a mess, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 06:05 PM

One word, Stilly: lowriders.

And Mom -- I'm off to Boise tomorrow, I'll check in when I get there on Sunday evening if I get a chance. I'll have the laptop with me, 'cause I got meetings Monday and Tuesday. We're taking the long way around, via the Sawtooths, Sun Valley, and places like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 02:05 AM

Poor guy, but I suppose someone has to go look at that scenery this time of year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM

Rise and shine, MOM! It's another hot day in the neighborhood, but you can sit on the porch under the ceiling fan and read your book or knit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 10:52 AM

No mater the cost--a duty is a duty...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 04:28 PM

HEy, Mom!! LEmonade is bad for you --it's full of germs. But a little Jack Daniels in the bottom of the glass will purify it nicely.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM

Mom!!!

All the kids are ignoring us. Let's make brownies.

We had a really nice dinner last night with friends -- he's a retired naval aviator and she's a print artist of some definite accomplishments. I made Kapow! Chicken and brown rice. It was delicious.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM

Kapow! Chicken? Is this Kung pao chicken with a kick?

It's hot here, and I won't whine, but I'm tired of it and it is just getting hotter. Low 100s all week coming up, and it was like that last week. And the week before. My yard is a tad parched. I'm working at keeping the shrubs alive, and my veggie garden producing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:43 PM

I called it Kapow! because I couldn't remember Kung Pau, but it did have fresh-picked chives added in.


Ya know, six months ago you were lamenting the cold. Then the rains. Now the drought and the heat. It would seem clear that you are living in an unsuitable climate. Have you applied to UCSD?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 03:47 AM

Move to Blind River. There'll be so many other things to complain about that you'll hardly even notice the bad weather...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 11:22 AM

Little Hawk, for fie!! You know perfectly well that Stilly would go mad in Blind River after the first 24 hours.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 02:15 PM

Ha. You see? Nothing but a shame-faced, hang-dog, toe-scuffling silence, an admission sadder than any words could be.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 02:24 PM

On the contrary, it's just that I was busy working outside. Trying to rescue a few plants that are parched in this dry heat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 02:26 PM

I meant LH, Stilly.


Only he understands the depth of the depravity, the breadth of the perversity, and the profundity of the illiteracy that permeates every waking moment in Blind River.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM

"Nothing but a shame-faced, hang-dog, toe-scuffling silence, an admission sadder than any words could be."

You mistake my temporary silence, Amos, because of your own ill-founded assumption that I have no other life or concerns outside posting on this forum... ;-) Such is not the case. I was busy, sir, busy with things you cannot possibly comprehend or truly appreciate.

However, your later statement: "Only he understands the depth of the depravity, the breadth of the perversity, and the profundity of the illiteracy that permeates every waking moment in Blind River."

With that I must concur. Well put.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 05:03 PM

I am glad you accept the profundity of the guilt, even though you feel none of the usual shame for it.

Anyway, I am sure you are very busy operating in circles I cannot even dream of enough to even envy!! Important circles!! Large, influential circles.

But come back and check in every now and then just in case your eternal travel in circles starts to assume an ever diminishing radius around an unseeing center.

We wouldn't want you flying up your own butt and disappearing by mistake, at least until we hear how Chongo does in the primaries.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 05:22 PM

LOL!

Yes, Amos, I am engaged in very, very special circles here....deep and profound stuff to be sure.

I will keep you appraised of Chongo's steady and certain march to the Oval Office, don't worry. He's dealing with Renata-Gate right now, and showing his usual confidence and aplomb, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 10:41 PM

I showed my aplomb in Lowman yesterday and nearly got arrested. Folks in Lowman don't like you to show off your aplomb in public. Corrupt the kids and all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 08 - 11:18 PM

Blush!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 12:12 AM

Especially when it's not a plumb aplomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 09:26 AM

Well, they didn't consider it much of a corrupting influence, given that there aren't any kids in Lowman and...well, there were other reasons. I don't have much aplomb, if you you must know. I had to sell most of it when I was a little kid to help Mom pay the bills. I remember one day we had nothing to eat but what we could scrounge from the leavings of the sewer rats, and that was mouldy. I whacked off some of my aplomb and sold it so that we could afford water. Luckily, the next day the wolf was at the door so we killed and ate it. Ever eat wolf for a week? Mmm-mmm GOOD! Especially when it's been aged five or six days. And we wore the skin that winter and it kept us warm. Unfortunately it turned both of my brothers into werewolves, but we finally cured them of that a few years ago. Now they only howl at the new moon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM

Aplomb in the handling is worth two holes in Bush, I always say.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 12:14 PM

I've dabbled in lycanthropy for years, Rapaire. I recommend it. It increases vitality, improves circulation, and keeps the sex drive strong despite the advancing years.

Also, you only have to work about 3 days a month.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 12:46 PM

SO, LH, how is Chongo going to handle "Chinga-gate"? Besides installing a pay turnstile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM

Humph! You return to that sordid subject as a dog returns to his own vomit, sir. "Chinga-Gate" indeed! For shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 07:54 PM

At twenty-four five fifty the beats is still strong.

MM was not the origin of that vomit, sirrah; it grew fresh from your slavish, decadent imagined proto-simian and his abysmal immorality.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM

There are now at least 10 eggplant in my fridge. Looks like we'll have to do a big pan of eggplant parmesan with some baba ganoush on the side. Who wants to start grating the cheese?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 01:12 AM

THat would be really grate.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 06:55 AM

You were the origin of the vomit, Amos. You and you alone invented "Chinga", Chongo's supposed sister with the dreadful name. Chongo HAS no sister named "Chinga". Not now, not then, not ever. There is no such personage as Chinga Chimp, except in your own fevered imagination. MMario has been taken in by your false propaganda and is extending the falsehood. Next you'll be claiming that in fact there IS balm in Gilead and that Harry Lee Wigley did not revolutionize our entire concept of sartorial approbation when he had that epiphany in Dagget's Gulch, Idaho....

You are unscrupulous, sir. You will stoop to anything. And that is why I think Spaw should hire you to accompany him when he takes those noisome Weimaraners on their daily jaunt around the block. Just the sort of job you are perfectly suited to, no?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 09:27 AM

So Chongo denies his own kinfolk? He disowns his own sister? And he expects to be elected??? How awful, to disown your family over a name!

Except for my former brother Percival Heironymus. We don't talk about him, mostly because nobody can pronounce his name and his initials would be PHD and we just don't DO that sort of thing in my family! The very Idea of getting educated!


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