Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 05:43 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 06:21 PM
Acme 11 Sep 08 - 07:06 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 07:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 09:44 PM
Amos 12 Sep 08 - 10:52 AM
MMario 12 Sep 08 - 11:07 AM
Acme 12 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM
Amos 12 Sep 08 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 02:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Sep 08 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 04:19 PM
Donuel 12 Sep 08 - 04:48 PM
Amos 12 Sep 08 - 06:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 10:06 PM
Amos 13 Sep 08 - 01:49 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 08 - 10:29 AM
Acme 13 Sep 08 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 08 - 04:51 PM
Amos 13 Sep 08 - 04:58 PM
Amos 13 Sep 08 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 08 - 05:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Sep 08 - 09:00 PM
Amos 13 Sep 08 - 09:13 PM
Acme 13 Sep 08 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 08 - 11:04 PM
Amos 14 Sep 08 - 12:24 AM
Amos 14 Sep 08 - 07:52 AM
Acme 14 Sep 08 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 14 Sep 08 - 02:18 PM
Amos 14 Sep 08 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 14 Sep 08 - 03:05 PM
Donuel 14 Sep 08 - 04:49 PM
Amos 14 Sep 08 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 08 - 10:19 PM
Acme 14 Sep 08 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 12:20 AM
Amos 15 Sep 08 - 09:58 AM
Acme 15 Sep 08 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM
Amos 15 Sep 08 - 12:34 PM
Rapparee 15 Sep 08 - 03:29 PM
Amos 15 Sep 08 - 04:01 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 05:43 PM

Ground Amos too while you're at it. If you don't know what he's done, he does.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM

Sure I do, and it's ALL good. I write my own stuff, and my birthday is tomorrow and I just got a new bandsaw from my mother-in-=law!!! Mwahahaha.

And I am taking my sea-kayak out again before dawn on Saturday.

Mwahahahaha.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 06:21 PM

Your sea kayak is finally "coming out", huh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 07:06 PM

Why all of the hoopla two numbers off?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 07:48 PM

The Forum page seems to think the number I claimed, and the one MM claimed, are spot on.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 09:44 PM

I just got back from a Legion meeting. They are going to start a group for young people called "Sons and Daughters of The Idaho Legion Embracing Purity and Temperance" (SADOTILEPAT). The motto chosen is "Don't Walk A Mile In Our Shoes." The primary focus would seem to be softball and/or rugby and/or archery.

I'm not at all sure how this is going to go, since the sports will be played all year around and could cause serious interference with the beer swilling in the Hovel.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 10:52 AM

THe Motto makes the same kind of sense as some of the other realities you have offered. But I guess that's the BS universe!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 11:07 AM

heh-heh-heh-heh.

she said

"hoopla"


heheheheheheheheh!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM

What would you say?

Hey, I had an idea this morning. We'd better be careful that Sarah P. doesn't cotton to MOM and the MOAB. If she read it from end to end she'd be SO WELL equipped to be VP it wouldn't be funny--except, of course, she'd also have some great funny stories to tell and some stunningly thoughtful observations of the world around us that would astonish all listeners.

So, here it is:

Mother of All BS Threads© is off limits for McCain folks' foraging and mining for details without proper citation and acknowledgement.

There. That takes care of Little Sarah with the big jaw.

SRS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM

Since a noted political pundit* has said, quite truthfully, "ALL politics is BS, but not all BS is politics" it could be difficult to enforce.
















*Hint: He's the Director the of public library in Pocatello, Idaho.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 02:16 PM

Noted? NOTED??? Sir, you do him a great disservice with such faint praise. He is not only noted, he is wide and famous in his own mind!!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 02:38 PM

Just you wait, Amos, just you wait.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 04:10 PM

Hi Mom!

I just saw a Google ad for "Online B.S. Degrees". Why would anyone want to pay money to have a degree in B.S.?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 04:19 PM

I had to go to school to get an M.S. degree.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 04:48 PM

Yes I have noticed that the far right are mostly absent on MOM

So I will let you in on what I only disclosed in a PM.

Similar to the last Presidential election when my computer and website were attacked and files erased, it has happened again.

This time my Photoshop software was disabled and my computer was capable of only one black screen message...
Unable to find drive C


All my opinions and pictures have been posted soley and exclusively on the BS section of mudcat.org

All I am saying is that someone or some group is playing dirty to the point of criminality.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 06:11 PM

Jeeze, Donuel, back up your files to a separate hard-disk, back that hard disk up to a DVD, and post your work on a large independent site like flikr.

If necessary get an anonymizer service to cloak the point of origin.

Another possible stunt is to use a separate computer to do only your uploads when ready, and turn it off when not in use, and.or only use it from random public access sites like Starbucks.

No IP trace, no hackery.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 10:06 PM

Get a good firewall, too.

And remember -- they can't crack it if it's unplugged from the 'Net.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 01:49 AM

Some of us here are completely cracked, all because we stay on the Net.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 10:29 AM

Some of us were completely cracked long before THAT, Amos.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 10:34 AM

You're scaring MOM. She doesn't want her kids cracked.

It's starting to rain. She can sit out on the covered porch for a while longer, it's a gentle drizzle. But the wind is coming. Someone move good chair over by the window so she can read if the lights go out.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 04:51 PM

Where was Mom when the lights went out?
Down in the basement eating sauerkraut.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 04:58 PM

ANd what's wrong with that, I'd like to know?
You was up in da belfry, eating Lime JellO!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 05:13 PM

Mom:

I have been bending and twisting and lifting and scrabbling for nuts and washers all day, assembling my new band-saw!! It is really a thing of great beauty. But every single nut and lockwasher and t-handle needs to be found and placed and each one requires its own combination of reaching, bending, twisting, spindling, mutilating and folding to get it into place. Plus the instructions were written by Chongo on a bad night. So it s a painfully slow process and I feel like I just got out of Abu Ghraib.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 05:48 PM

I got my saw pre-assembled, Amos. I mean, a blade, a handle, three bolts and nuts -- how much easier could you get? I even have one where the tang of the blade is just stuck into the handle. They even came with a blade guard.

I think you're just making it sound harder than it is.

Look. Lay the blade on a table or something. Slide the handle onto it, lining up the holes the handle with the holes in the blade. Now put the bolts, washers and nuts on and tighten them.

Voila! Your saw's all set to use. (Remember to saw with the pointy part of the blade, not the smooth part.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 09:00 PM

I wish a had a band-saw! I frequently hear bands I'd like to take a saw to.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 09:13 PM

Oh, the saw was pretty much preassembled, but this is not the type of saw you play in your band, Rapaire, with the flat bendy blade just right from humming along with "Git along home, Cindy, Cindy" or "Bile Dem Cabbage Down".   This is a six-foot tall powered bandsaw with a cast-iron table, tilting trunnions, adjustable rip guide, oversized emergency STOP button, and a big motor. When you start it up the big upper and lower drive-belt wheels start turning and it hums like a UFO warming up for takeoff.

Vrooom. And it slices through pine like a hot knife through warm butter.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 10:34 PM

I wish I had a saw like that. I can do the knife and hot butter bit, but a saw sharply through hard wood, that would be very nice!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 11:04 PM

Amos, I truly am sorry to hear that you have tiltable trunnions. Can surgery or some medicine help this, or is it something you'll have to live with?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 12:24 AM

I a, happy to live with it---I consider it an evolutionary advantage. For example it enables me to cut through the curves, which in this environment is a valuable survival skill...



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 07:52 AM

I am off to the deep blue. Farewell, dear Mom, until I am safe ashore again.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 10:51 AM

Do you take a runcible spoon with you when you putter in the wee boat on Sunday mornings?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 02:18 PM

Stilly, isn't that terribly personal question to ask someone?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 02:56 PM

I take a six-foot double bladed paddle, a cup of hot coffee, and my car keys.

This morning it was still pitch black when I launched around 5AM. THe darkness changes everything. It is modified by the glow of the surf and a few sidewalk lights on the shoreline, but facing out to sea the darkness into which you are pushing yourself seems more absolute the further from shore you go.

Paddling is an act of deliberate will, with no automatic continuity. To push yourself deliberately into such a darkness on a choppy sea with the wind in your face, forcing your own way further and further away from any bearing or contact with the human world is unnerving, and calls for steeling yourself every time you look up.

The seas criss cross and lift you and drop you in their own unknowable patterns, and the wind presses you back, and the darkness swallows you further with every push. Even though you know perfectly well all is well and you cannot be swallowed by whales or such, it is an uncomfortable passage.

But, as in all good stories, eventually the sky _does_ lighten, and grays appear in the black, and your bearings appear, and they are pretty much what you thought.

Nothing runcible about it, it turns out.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 03:05 PM

"Paddling is an act of deliberate will, with no automatic continuity."

That depends on the paddler. I've seen people (and ducks) who could thoughtlessly paddle their way into a complete state of futility even while thinking they were doing something else entirely.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 04:49 PM

Walking the dog

Everyday or night, rain or shine, freeze or bake, I walk the dog down to the trail that winds along Rock Creek. We start at the front door where the dog customarily celebrates by barking and taking the leash in its mouth until we hit the sidewalk when instantly the discipline of walking in polite tandem begins.
We pass by the rambler house of the divorcee who still shows signs of post traumatic stress of an abusive husband and cross the street to old Bill Sutherland's house. He volunteers all of his time to advance every cause of the GOP. If it takes a small man to carry a big grudge, he is your man. Next door is the family with kids the same age as ours but must have heard that our family has leprosy and that I was a retired hitman, so there are no hellos, just a scramble to get out of view. Now past the mysterious Russian's house and the black family who may smile but who never make diversity a verb and keep to themselves.

We turn right and pass two more houses. Bob the engineer who may never sell his house and take their RV across the country since deregulation stole the economy. Opposite Bob's house is Madeline and her partner who have the most happy yard right next to the park. She has kayaks on a rack, benches, hanging gardens from a second story porch, enormous decorative boulders, deer feeding stations with flowers and everything else that smiles like a heart warming Norman Rockwell painting.
At the dead end of Oriental Street the dog and I pass through the guard rails and descend the path beside a storm sewer stream that emerges from a six foot high tunnels with an iron grate that swings from the top when the roaring water gushes 5 feet high..

The forest is forever different from one day to the next. Sometimes four foot tall buzzards might be perched nearby and always the deer who share every detail of their family while trying not to be too leery of the dog.

The trail serpentines around Oak and Sycamore. The aroma in spring is like breathing candy air but usually the scent of methane wafts from the human sewer built 14 feet beneath the park's asphalt path. In winter the gas is so strong I have worried about any open flame.

A Rubik's cube is said to have 42 quadrillion different possible faces. The dog walk has many more. In the spring the tiny frogs start peeping when it gets above 60 degrees at 5 PM. As it gets warmer the chorus grows louder and more intense as mating day arrives. On that glorious day they sing in major thirds and build to augmented fourths that sounds like their version of Beethoven's ninth. I sometimes imagine what this place looked like 530 million years ago and of the asteroid that hit Chesapeake bay leaving all the great white boulders of shocked quartz today. What did it sound like, how did it smell? What creatures hunted this land? What would they think of me?

There is the screech owl at the edge of night in autumn and the black snake sunning in summer, the beaver busiest in spring and the fox passing through in winter. Every walk of course includes the dog sniffing historic canine urination, carrion and poo.
At night in the deep fog we walked down the path with the guidance of my small LED flashlight. The beam slices through the fog to reveal a black dog leash that disappears somewhere near an invisible black dog. Then a burst of green lighted dog eyes in the mist warn me that I am almost falling off the path. The dog can see 100 times better in the dark than I, and I have pretty good night vision.

By day I sometimes close my eyes as the sun's staccato bursts of brilliance syncopates the rhythm of the tallest leaves of trees. We even heard a baby cry in the woods only to discovery a fawn had just been born. Last week a runner was about ten paces in front of a blind bicyclist who smiled as he peddled along the path 10 feet above the drop off into the creek.

On weekends the bikes, dog walkers and stroller pushers could justify good business for a hot dog stand but most of the time there are but one or two encounters with other humans.
Those encounters are pleasant with the very old or very young but otherwise are nearly nasty but never quite. Many people have earphones on as do I when I am listening to interesting stories on NPR.

Allen walks his elderly Labrador and makes mention of anything that smacks of godless liberalism.   He even criticized my listening to BBC until I reminded him they were part of the mother of all coalitions of pre emptive Bush wars.
I tease him unmercifully about his Limbaughism to the point he once slogged through a swamp to avoid passing me walking the dog. That is about as far as the war penetrates the forest but global warming effects every plant and animal here, moving scheduled hatching and fruiting as much as three weeks ahead or behind.

The dog is wonderfully happy and relieved exploring the path by the creek everyday except for the day it flooded and we walked through 20 inches of water that overflowed as much as 30 yards from the stream. On the way I am gently pulled by the leash and as time goes on, I go slower as the dog goes faster.

Some people have been traveling for hundreds of thousands of miles and have seen many things, while I've just been walking the dog watching the seasons change. The dog walk forever changes and except for the neighbors and their homes we pass at the start and end. The path has more faces than a Rubik's cube. So do the people deep down, but somehow they manage to show only one unchanging face.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 10:06 PM

The curse of the Band Saw


It was not the lost fingers and spilled blood, about which I had been generously warned by many friends when the word got around I had a new band saw.

The cuirse of the band saw was more subtle.

When I finished the backbreaking task of assembling, positioning, squaring, trueing, aligning and level the bugger, and cleaning off the preservative on the cast-iron table and waxing the surface down, the creature was beautiful. It stood tall, a proud testament to American ingenuity and design, gleaming in the dusty garage workshop,It made the whole garage, with its used and bruised tools and collections of stuff look shamefully out of date.

So I have spent the last two days cleaning and hauling and re-ordering every godam thing in the garage. It now looks lovely, with the band saw as centerpiece.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 10:19 PM

They call him "Three-fingered Amos."

Fastest guitar player in Southern California, because he doesn't have to play as many strings a before.

The day was hot, hot enough to fry a man's brains under his hat. By high noon it was hot enough to fry a man's innards.

Three-fingered Amos stepped out into the dusty plaza of the small town, his guitar slung across this chest. Fifty feet way Jerry Garcia, "Four-fingered Jerry", stepped from under the shade of the canopy outside Juan's cantina.

The dust billowed about them as they deliberately strode towards each other. Twenty feet away they stopped, each waiting for the other the make the first move, to find the Lost Chord.

Neither could do what they really wanted, which was to present aloft the middle finger of the right hand to the other....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 11:16 PM

Nice walk, Don. I took my pooches for an exploratory stroll through the new development going up across the street and through a little wood. The builders throw down too much trash that the dogs want to pick up or eat.

Are you in Rockville? I've been playing with Google Maps and find the street you named near a park in that town.

SRS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 12:20 AM

Rockville. Pooey on Rockville. Ya gotta live in Silver Spring to be ANYBODY around there.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 09:58 AM

IO found this remark in a Times column about conspicuous consumption:

"Individualization and customization are two other marketing buzzwords. You can now order regular M&M's online with an image of your face on them. This enables you to eat yourself, so to speak, an act in which narcissism and individualization merge. Yum."

I thought Rapaire should be made aware.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:06 AM

He's busy coming out of the (crowded) closet this morning. He said so on the de-cluttering thread. I wonder if MOM knows that he tossed all of her old holey gardening pants and those funky Easter hats in the bags he's taking to the Goodwill?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:48 AM

Why would I want to eat myself when others are so darned tasty? A little pork rub, slow cooking while wrapped in banana leaves...finest kind of eatin'. Learned that recipe from some fellas in New Guinea.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:56 AM

If I were mean and nasty


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:56 AM

(which of course I'm not)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM

I would grab two five three oh oh


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM

like a nasty little snot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 10:57 AM

But I'm not.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 12:34 PM

Well, someoner is, and they're posting under your handle.

Talk about Identity Theft!!! Somone has appropriated the worst side of Rapaire and left the good bits where they were.   How weird is that? I tell ya, things just aren;t the same any more. I can't keep up with this new generation of felons.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 03:29 PM

Yeah, ever since they jailed the last yegg ol' Amos ain't been the same.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Sep 08 - 04:01 PM

Yegg? That has gfot to be some kind of yolk, right? I am more hardboiled than any yegg you can remember, pal, and if you doubt it you will be shelling out in a hurry. It'll give you some fond memories to put in your "Lessons Learned" albumin.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 18 October 12:11 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.