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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 01:23 PM
Amos 26 Jul 09 - 01:36 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jul 09 - 02:03 PM
Amos 26 Jul 09 - 02:24 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM
Amos 26 Jul 09 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 05:38 PM
Janie 26 Jul 09 - 06:45 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jul 09 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 07:14 PM
Amos 26 Jul 09 - 09:12 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jul 09 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 10:22 PM
Amos 26 Jul 09 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 09 - 11:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jul 09 - 11:07 PM
Acme 27 Jul 09 - 01:33 AM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 09 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 09 - 11:03 AM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 11:22 AM
Acme 27 Jul 09 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 09 - 12:20 PM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 12:54 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 09 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 09 - 02:06 PM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 09 - 05:25 PM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 10:07 PM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 10:14 PM
Amos 27 Jul 09 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 09 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 09 - 10:40 AM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 10:46 AM
MMario 28 Jul 09 - 11:30 AM
Acme 28 Jul 09 - 11:56 AM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 09 - 12:16 PM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 12:52 PM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 01:15 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 09 - 04:03 PM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 04:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 09 - 05:49 PM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 05:52 PM
Acme 28 Jul 09 - 06:51 PM
Janie 28 Jul 09 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 09 - 08:21 PM
Amos 28 Jul 09 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 09 - 11:55 PM
Amos 29 Jul 09 - 12:09 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 01:23 PM

Yes, I think a kayak, mounting perhaps six guns -- swivels would probably be sufficient....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 01:36 PM

Kayaks can be a tad tricky for doing anything from--they are primarily for settin' in and riding on water. If you start plucking trash from creekside you might want something with a bit more lateral stability. And the swivels are completely extraneous; remember Rapaire is still on Vicodin...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 02:03 PM

True. And they're almost no good at all for having sex (with a partner, I mean) while on the water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 02:24 PM

Anyone who would try to have sex with a kayak is seriously weird, man, that's all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM

I agree. Have you tried it, then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 02:47 PM

No--it is one of th emany bright ideas you have offered which I have chosen to decline out of respect for my sanity.

I have been known to drink black coffee and smoke small cigars in a kayak. It adds to the panache of the experience, don't you know, but not to the risk.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 03:00 PM

No, I think salute-sized cannons (10 gauge) would be enough. Most kayakers aren't...a ram! Like the Reeks and the Groanins used at battles like Salamies and the Rubycon. Paddle over like you were friendly and WHAM!, right in the ol' hull. Or come up fast from astern along one of the sides and cut off one of the ends of their paddle(s).

Yeah....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 05:38 PM

the panache of the experience, don't you know, but not to the risk

So you'd rather watch videos of parachuting, paraskiing, hang gliding, rock climbing, practical vulcanology and such-like things than participate in them? But you'll have never lived, man! You'll never have experienced the rush of adrenaline that comes when you realize that your main chute has failed to develop, or when your legs are pinned beneath a rock fall as you explore a previously unmapped cave, or sense the fullness of life as Dawn finds you amidst the fog-shrouded trees with the seconds to your right and left as you and your adversary sight down the barrels of your pistols, or when you're fifty fathoms down with your hand trapped in a giant clam and you air running out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 06:45 PM

Provided one is limber, all things are possible in a Folbot double kayak. An outrigger is helpful, but not absolutely necessary;^)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 06:48 PM

Sounds just like the kind of thing Chongo would say, Rapaire. Yes, it's those white knuckle moments when the adrenalin is pumping that make it all worthwhile, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 07:14 PM

No, personally I've spent far too much time trying to avoid strangers who would perforate my body. After one jump I decided to never leave a perfectly good airplane without utter necessity. Motorcycles are fine if you need such. And there have been far, far too many times when youth and inexperience outshouted the still, small voice of wisdom muttering, "Look, shit-for-brains, this could get you hurt or worse."

I don't ride roller coasters, spit in the wind, or tug on Superman's cape. I have enough adrenaline stored up to last until Judgement Day (which I have decided to skip anyway).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 09:12 PM

I have lived an adequately dangerous life, underwater and on it in various combinations. I have dug hard-rock tunnels and steered through some vicious squalls and storms, and crawled the bottom under heavy surf-zones and done a few other interesting capers. But I have come to an age where I prefer to balance the risk against the pleasure, and i take no delight in having sex with boats, preferring to leave that to someone of a more zany ilk such as yon Hawkster.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 09:44 PM

What a silly man you are, Amos! What I was suggesting is that it would be quite difficult to have sex with another person WHILE paddling through the waves in a kayak. But you knew that. You're just being bloody obstinate. Pretending to be stupider than you are.

I find this insulting. I am offended. I demand that you issue a groveling apology forthwith. Or else send money. ;-) I think $1,000 would be sufficient to smooth my ruffled feelings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 10:22 PM

By the authority vested in me as Supreme, Unquestionable and Infallible Arbitrator by Our Mother MOAB, I hereby declare that Amos owes and must as soon as possible pay to Little Hawk the sum of one thousand (1,000) Zimbabwean dollars, based upon the exchange rate between the Canadian and Zimbabwean dollar on Monday, July 27, 2009, as posted by the Bank of England at 0900 Greenwich Mean Time.

Next time be more specific....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 10:27 PM

Quite alright, Little Hawk; your defense is weak, but your earnest sincerity cannot be overlooked. Consider the money sent. Rapaire, since you do not have an extra shoulder do you think you should risk the one that remains you by pushing in to others' affairs so energetically and tactlessly? You aren't Joe the Plumber, you know.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 11:05 PM

Being wounded in sixte in no way prevents me from working in quartre, prime, seconde, cinque, tierce or even septime -- which is why Mother MOAB named me to that post. She knows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jul 09 - 11:07 PM

Hi Mom! I won't be around for a while. Gotta go see if people in Indiana, Illinois, and Michigan still have a little money with which to buy pottery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 01:33 AM

Sex in a kayak with a partner, in any context, sounds next to impossible. But I know of a man who managed phone sex in a kayak. Does that count as a partner? (I think this is enough--telling the actual story I heard might dampen the pleasure your fervid imaginations have generated in just wondering what the real story was.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 10:58 AM

And just in case any possibility of blind association arises in anyone's peevish little mind, I never carry my phone in my kayak. So it warn't moi.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:03 AM

Well, I don't even own (or rent or borrow) a kayak so it weren't me either.

That leaves only MM or LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:03 AM

Or Bee-Dubya, but he's so ooooooooooooooooooooold...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:22 AM

Foils are of two kinds, for lessons and for assaults. The first should be used by beginners, as from their flexibility accidents are less likely to occur, and as the stiffness of the latter would be apt to give to the hand a rigidity injurious to light and ready movement.

The foil for lessons is a flat blade, about 31 inches long, (measuring from shoulder to point,) and should, when bent, curve at least three-fourths of its length from the button. A blade that begins to bend at the middle is badly made, there being too much metal in the feeble, (18); it is consequently not balanced, and would be weighty in the hand. A good blade is strong at the shoulder, and tapers gradually from it to the point.

As the stiffness of the foil for assaults is objectionable in lessons, so the flexibility of the flat blade or foil for lessons renders it unfit for as­saults. The foil for assaults is a square blade, about 32 inches long, tapering from shoulder to point, and should, when bent, curve its whole length, A certain degree of stiffness and temper is requisite: if too soft, it will be rendered more so in the process of mounting, and would become altogether useless in two or three assaults; if too hard, it is apt to be brittle, and accidents may happen. A brittle blade, however, that pleases in other respects, may be reduced to a proper temper by heat­ing it a little, and allowing it to cool gradually. Practice will soon enable one to distinguish a well made and balanced blade.

In purchasing a blade, first measure the length, then pass the eye along each of the four sides to detect flaws, if any, then placing the point on the ground, bear the hand down a little and gradually, observing the curve. Be careful not to lower the hand too much and suddenly, as the strain will be thrown upon the feeble, and the blade may break.

The gripe should be about four and seven-tenths inches long, and its section a rectangle, (because if rounded it would be liable to turn in the hand,) and of uniform thickness from end to end. A gripe, whose section is rectangular, is easily held with­out unnecessary compression of the fingers, and allows them free play. The thickness will depend somewhat upon the size of the hand; it is ordinarily two and six-tenths inches in perimeter. It should fill the hand without injuring the grasp.


FENCING WITH THE SMALL SWORD, ARRANGED FOR INSTRUCTION IN SQUADS OR CLASSES,

BY

BREVET MAJOR H. C. WAYNE,
U.S. ARMY,
LATE DIRECTOR OF THE SWORD EXERCISE
IN THE U.S. MILITARY ACADEMY AT WEST POINT.
PUBLISHED BY AUTHORITY OF THE WAR DEPARTMENT.
WASHINGTON:PRINTED BY GIDEON AND CO., 1849.


Alas, poor Brevet Major Wayne; his lateness finally caught up with him, and he could not riposte.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:55 AM

Oops. Not meaning to cast aspersions. Not a Mudcatter at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 12:20 PM

I have received the Zimbabwean $1,000. Thank you, Amos.

With it I have made a down payment on a paper clip at the local Staples outlet. They don't normally sell just one paper clip at a time, but I'm an old and faithful customer there so they have agreed to make an exception.

I am hoping that you will cast further aspersions on my character, Amos, hurl further insults at me, make further snide remarks at my expense, and so on...and then I can make further demands for apologies or payments of $1,000 Zimbabwean dollars each time it happens.

You're too proud to apologize, and I know that, so you'll send me the money.

If we go through this exercise about 50 more times...that paper clip will me mine!   Hee! Hee! Hee! (giggling maniacally...)

Do your worst.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 12:54 PM

Ah, M. Hack, although I faithfully reflect for your enlightenment the many flaws and peccadilloes that make up your character, it is only that I shine with the unflinching honesty of an ordinary mirror. It is not for me to cast aspersions, to impugn, to insult. I could not possibly take credit for making a monkey out of you or any of your vibrant menagerie.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 01:07 PM

So....does this mean I won't get the paper clip?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 02:06 PM

Give him another thou, Amos. Same deal as before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 02:20 PM

Ah, well, such is my unparalleled spirit of generosity, or generosity of spirit, whichever, that I shall heed to the importuning of my friends. Consider it sent, Little Hawk, but pray, try not to spend it all in one place.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 05:25 PM

(Amos, he was starting to snivel again....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 10:07 PM

Let him be away
In Carrickfergus
Thither to snivel
And lie alone!
Unless I were
Some sturdy boatman
He'd prolly stand
Ashore and moan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 10:14 PM

Say, Rapaire, are you typing all this with one arm?

Pretty good!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:30 PM

In other news, an essay from sometime ago in the NYT Magazine, entitled Mind of a Rock suggests panpsychism.

"The doctrine that the stuff of the world is fundamentally mind-stuff goes by the name of panpsychism. A few decades ago, the American philosopher Thomas Nagel showed that it is an inescapable consequence of some quite reasonable premises. First, our brains consist of material particles. Second, these particles, in certain arrangements, produce subjective thoughts and feelings. Third, physical properties alone cannot account for subjectivity. (How could the ineffable experience of tasting a strawberry ever arise from the equations of physics?) Now, Nagel reasoned, the properties of a complex system like the brain don't just pop into existence from nowhere; they must derive from the properties of that system's ultimate constituents. Those ultimate constituents must therefore have subjective features themselves ? features that, in the right combinations, add up to our inner thoughts and feelings. But the electrons, protons and neutrons making up our brains are no different from those making up the rest of the world. So the entire universe must consist of little bits of consciousness.

Nagel himself stopped short of embracing panpsychism, but today it is enjoying something of a vogue. The Australian philosopher David Chalmers and the Oxford physicist Roger Penrose have spoken on its behalf. In the recent book "Consciousness and Its Place in Nature," the British philosopher Galen Strawson defends panpsychism against numerous critics. How, the skeptics wonder, could bits of mind-dust, with their presumably simple mental states, combine to form the kinds of complicated experiences we humans have? After all, when you put a bunch of people in the same room, their individual minds do not form a single collective mind. (Or do they?) Then there is the inconvenient fact that you can't scientifically test the claim that, say, the moon is having mental experiences. (But the same applies to people ? how could you prove that your fellow office workers aren't unconscious robots, like Commander Data on "Star Trek"?) Finally, there is the sheer loopiness of the idea that something like a photon could have proto-emotions, proto-beliefs and proto-desires. What could the content of a photon's desire possibly be? "Perhaps it wishes it were a quark," one anti-panpsychist cracked.

Panpsychism may be easier to parody than to refute. But even if it proves a cul-de-sac in the quest to understand consciousness, it might still help rouse us from a certain parochiality in our cosmic outlook. We are biological beings. We exist because of self-replicating chemicals. We detect and act on information from our environment so that the self-replication will continue. As a byproduct, we have developed brains that, we fondly believe, are the most intricate things in the universe. We look down our noses at brute matter.

Take that rock over there. It doesn't seem to be doing much of anything, at least to our gross perception. But at the microlevel it consists of an unimaginable number of atoms connected by springy chemical bonds, all jiggling around at a rate that even our fastest supercomputer might envy. And they are not jiggling at random. The rock's innards "see" the entire universe by means of the gravitational and electromagnetic signals it is continuously receiving. Such a system can be viewed as an all-purpose information processor, one whose inner dynamics mirror any sequence of mental states that our brains might run through. And where there is information, says panpsychism, there is consciousness. In David Chalmers's slogan, "Experience is information from the inside; physics is information from the outside."

But the rock doesn't exert itself as a result of all this "thinking." Why should it? Its existence, unlike ours, doesn't depend on the struggle to survive and self-replicate. It is indifferent to the prospect of being pulverized. If you are poetically inclined, you might think of the rock as a purely contemplative being. And you might draw the moral that the universe is, and always has been, saturated with mind, even though we snobbish Darwinian-replicating latecomers are too blinkered to notice."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 09:59 AM

I've always said that the Universe is subjective -- my subjectivity, to be accurate. But I am a benign despot and don't randomly smite those subjects who offend me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 10:40 AM

And it IS my subjectivity. After all, subjectivity relates by definition to the person doing the thinking and I'm doing all the thinking around here. I've already thought up pretty much everything, and I'm just waiting for the rest of you to catch up.

As for my typing: you can't even get into Library School without being able to split your conscious into two or more parts and telekinesitype. It was the only solution possible, what with libraries being chronically underfunded and understaffed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 10:46 AM

I have been doing a lot of thinking, Rapaire, and one of the things I have been thinking about is your thinking and your thoughts. I think they could stand some improvement, don't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 11:30 AM

urg.mmmph. thud


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 11:56 AM

MOM!

Make it stop raining! My garden is going to rot! Enough already!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 12:16 PM

If you people were hamsters, the wheel would have worn out long ago.

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 12:52 PM

Unfortunately, Little Hawk, the only being in this region dedicated to inventing a hamster identity is...well...you! I cannot fathom why this should be so, but there it is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 01:15 PM

Let just add that my many snide remarks at your expense, as you put it, were well earned and paid for.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 04:03 PM

The reason why, Amos, is that I really like hamsters. ;-) They're much more rational than most people and they're easier to get along with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 04:30 PM

They're much more rational than most people

M. Hack, you make it too easy for me!! How do you expect me to earn my pay around here if you give me straight lines like this?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 05:49 PM

The quality of my thinking is not strained, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 05:52 PM

It faileth as the gentle rain from heaven....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 06:51 PM

I'm going to post this URL on the fridge. Next time MMario comes by, give it to him please. This trick will come in handy when cooking large quantities of ID tubers at the Mudcat Tavern. That lot often seems to fall to him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4W0qIPJmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 07:36 PM

In my usual heedless manner, I interrupt this program to say Sum Yung Sun is helping his Dad celebrate his 64th birthday by attending a Bob Dylan/Willie Nelson/John Mellencamp concert at the Durham Bull's Ballpark tonight.

Hope it are good. I only saw Dylan once, about 25 years ago. It were bad, but that could have been in part because of the accoustics of the gym at Duke, and not entirely because Dylan obviously wished he were anywhere else.


You may now carry on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 08:21 PM

Yes, Amos, I'm a living example of the Drip Principle.

Congratulations, Janie, upon attaining 30,500.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 10:34 PM

On the bleak hill of Gadra, where the winds howl
He creeps to his hiding place among the wild fowl.
No cry greets his advent, their comrade is he,
And they dream of no harm from the wild Raparee.

But who be those horsemen so late in the storm?
And what seems that glare, tis the king's uniform.
God grant that awake and not sleeping he be,
They are on the track of the wild Raparee.

Tis morn, and the horsemen return from the heath.
But the sword of the foremost is not in it's sheath.
Ah no, on it's bright point, all glory to see
Is the head of the outlaw, the wild Raparee.

(Although they spelled it correctly, I would not wish such a fate on our one-shoulder bolder book-bender).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 09 - 11:55 PM

Especially since the raparree knocked the first horseman out, exchanged clothes, cut off his head, smeared his face and clothes with blood, and assumed the lead, head on saber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 12:09 AM

You always did have a flair for history....



A


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