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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 22 Sep 09 - 12:02 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM
MMario 22 Sep 09 - 09:33 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 09:45 AM
MMario 22 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 10:53 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 11:12 AM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 11:32 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 01:35 PM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 03:45 PM
Acme 22 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 04:21 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 08:57 AM
Amos 23 Sep 09 - 09:18 AM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 11:50 AM
Acme 23 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM
Amos 23 Sep 09 - 12:34 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 03:16 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 05:07 PM
Amos 23 Sep 09 - 06:48 PM
Acme 23 Sep 09 - 06:51 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 07:18 PM
Amos 23 Sep 09 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 09 - 09:23 AM
MMario 24 Sep 09 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 11:39 AM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 11:54 AM
MMario 24 Sep 09 - 12:04 PM
Acme 24 Sep 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 09 - 03:34 PM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 09 - 04:12 PM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 09 - 04:49 PM
Amos 24 Sep 09 - 05:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 12:02 AM

I ain't speakin' to brother Leo. His neices and nephews mean more to him than his own sister, or he'd be coming to the Getaway this year. (Not!)

And, uugghhhhhghhh! AOL has turned a ghastly orange for fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM

Yeah--three years running! Not as if there were no notice!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM

I'm not coming to Getaway again this year either. I've got Big Important Things to do instead of getting drunk in some Maryland flophouse, engage in drinking "games", carouse with loose women, and stay up until all hours of the night singing bawdy songs while drinking cheap whiskey while treading the rosy road to perdition. No, I'll stay home and care for poor old Mom, changing her Depends and preparing her weak tea and toast and helping her change her will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:33 AM

I'm beginning to think they conspire against me....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:37 AM

Rapaire:

No-one expects you. First of all, you have never been fully inoculated with Getaway bug, which happens on one's first trip. Second, being a brass player, you might not understand...

(Ducks as a badly flung mute passes near ear and exits stage left).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:45 AM

Ah, so if Barky and I showed up, we wouldn't understand? Is that what you're saying?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM

It's more an infection, or addiction, rather then an innoculation, wouldn't you say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 10:53 AM

Addiction sounds about right to me. I'm not coming until you all agree to give William Shatner the respect and worship he so clearly deserves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:12 AM

Well, that agreement occurred long since, LH. It's just not the acclaim _you_ think he deserves, but we all know you are delusional on this subject. I don't know if you really like folk music, or are just a Dylanophile, but I bet you could learn to love the Getaway. You ought to try it one year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:32 AM

Yeah, I guess. My passport is not up to date right now, so I won't be visiting the USA for the time being. That border's not as friendly as it once was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM

Fiddle dee dee. Just do like all those illegal Northern aliens do: find a backwoods road across the border and take it. Granted, you have to escape the watching Predators and the land mines but that if the "snow birds" can do it so can you.

Or just tell everyone you're smuggling guns in. No one will believe THAT and they'll leave you alone because they'll think you're nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 01:35 PM

Go to a Certain Adress on Yonge Street and ask for "Mister Kim." Tell him what you want to do, give him the money he asks, and he will see you safely to Getaway and back. (Do NOT ask for "Miss Kim" or "Missus Kim" or "Miz Kim" -- she's there too, but provides "special services" involving leather masks and birch "switches" to politicians).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM

GEtaway musical frolics were severely disrupted by the arrival at the West River, MD retreat of four large black SUVs which disgorged eleven assorted Federal agents of large and beefy demeanour, and one disheveled looking prisoner who said his name was Little, and who insisted he was a registered participant. The agents, contrariwise, conceived said Little, last name Hawk, aka George, was in fact a terrorist and had been apprehended crossing international borders in the back of a Good Humour van heading into Michigan for supplies, where he was wearing a popsicle costume. Investigations are still pending, but Mr. Hawk did manage to substantiate his story by singing a Dylan number, "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue", upon which forty-five of the participant folkies began to divide into seven amorphous groups and enter into a hot debate as to whether or not his performance constituted folk music. The agents eventually retreated in dismay and confusion, promising to come back with reinforcements from their Smithsonian division.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:40 PM

LOL!!! Sounds about right. Maybe I should risk all, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:45 PM

By the way, "Little" and "Hawk" are not first and last names. "Little Hawk" is a single name in the Plains Indian tradition. Plains Indians didn't have surnames in the old days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM

You take that back about MOM wearing Depends! She's been doing her kegels for years, and (having just re-read the naughty "Eskimo Nell" in the context of another thread) is amply strong enough to keep her bladder under control, even if she isn't breaking solid glass objects with her arse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:21 PM

Plains Indians, huh? All Muslims, weren't they? Dedicated to the overthrow of the Yewnided States? Huh? And doan give me that "not first or last" bull, cuz I can read, see. Every single post over your signature--your LEGAL signature, I might add--is headed "Little Hawk" in THAT ORDER. Always the word Little comes first, then the word Hawk. Letme pointout to you that that is what "first name" and "last name" MEAN, dummy!! You try an' tell meyou ain't got no last name? What are you, unAmerican??? Like them Indians? Damn terrorists...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM

We have ways of dealing with you white-eyes....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM

I propose that we shorten his name to a nickname. Hereafter, we shall call him "L'il Hawk" or just "Lil" for really short. Kinda like Red Ryder's Indian sidekick Little Beaver, L'il Hawk shall be the faithful Indian companion of Amos. Amos and Lil shall ride the range together, righting wrongs and shooting the guns out of the hands of bad guys (no gal ever goes bad, and if they do they have a heart of gold and repent), only to ride off into the sunset at the end as someone asks, "What the fuck has been going on around here?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 08:57 AM

Well Mom, I guess Amos and Lil have been out riding around trying to find the sunset. Probably rode North or were confused by streetlights -- you know how easy it is to confuse those two. And you know how well they ride, sitting easy in the saddle until they have to put another quarter in for another ride.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 09:18 AM

Little Hawk and I were just having a long talk, Rapaire, about condescension, and retribution, and the current 15% unemployment rate amongst PLains Indians warriors, and some plan whereby we might address all three at once.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 11:50 AM

Right. And we have a very low tolerance for condescension. Keep that in mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM

MOM, get your sweater and lets go for a walk! Fall is here! Not just on the calendar, but it feels like it (sometimes it takes a while in N. Texas, and summer might still decide to come back for a while). The dogs are so frisky! It feels great! Come on, Gluon, lets take MOM for a spin around the neighborhood!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 12:34 PM

The mists of autumn have visitedour roads and valleys once again, making thick, wet clouds along the roads. Drivers slow carefully and peer nervously. The leaves of trees and the grasses rejoice in relief from too much dry air.

By an hour after sunrise, the fog is gone, the air is bright with sunlight again, but it is clean, as though it has been washed, and cool with the smell of autumn.

Down at the Shores, the waves roll in quietly, thinking about Time. The raucous crowds of summer have dissipated, back to their lime-green halls and books. The beaches are for slower people now, those who reflect, and who pick up after themselves.

All this is ignored by the man in the yellow kayak. He drifts offshore, ignoring the birds and small waves, scribbling notes in a small notebook. He is planning an invasion of Pocatello by Plains Indian warriors, an assault in retribution. He is planning to break the back of supercilious condescension everywhere. It is a big plan, but he knows it must be done. In his heart, he is at peace.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM

(chuckle)

Boy, they broke the mould when they made you, Amos. You are the one and only.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 02:07 PM

Mom, I sighted in my new rifle today. Five shots, dead center -- 50/5X -- at 250 meters (you know I shoot in meters because of the Army). That's a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet rifle. I'm glad I plan to use it only on targets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 03:16 PM

Lil, that mo(u)ld was broken by court order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 04:25 PM

Ah.

Well, I can see the sense in that. For sure.

You may have further use for that rifle if Shane decides to visit you, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM

I shall let Shame pick his poison: .30-30, .30-06, .22, .357 magnum, .45, .38 special, .44, .50, 7.65mm, 9mm short, .75, .69, .177...see how very generous I am!

If Shame had the balls God gave a paramecium he'd let me shoot the ashes off a cigarette as he held it in his mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 05:07 PM

Also .36....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 06:48 PM

Did you ever notice how tangled up in ammo your life has become?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 06:51 PM

A friend sent this today. Weren't you in Belize recently, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 07:02 PM

I can't understand why you and Chongo haven't been best buddies for years, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 07:18 PM

Boy, that botfly larva is one nasty little thing, isn't it? Yuck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 08:49 PM

YEs, but not in that part of town. Those are reserved for the hostel-types...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 09:44 PM

I prefer to avoid hostelities.

(Some of those calibers refer to black powder firearms. It takes lead balls to shoot muzzleloaders.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 09:23 AM

Poor, poor Mom, sitting here weeping sad and lonely even though it's all quiet along the Potomac tonight. Have another jug, dear Mother, and please refrain from shooting at the neighbor's children with tranquilizer darts even though they are ill-bred and noisy -- people are starting to talk. They think that fitting them out with shock collars you can activate when they bother you might be going a little too far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 09:29 AM

But the invisible fence didn't work to keep them out, nor did the little windmill thingummies. What's poor MOM suppossed to do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM

Yeah, they put a footbridge over the moat and the pirahnas ARE getting a tad peckish. Little devils.

What's that, Mom? Mine the bridge? Why didn't I think of that?!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 11:39 AM

Woe unto the days of our Mom, and woe under her children, who to such destitute raggle-taggle rumours have abandoned her once-sterling repute! Let us raise her up, above the hordes of rattling tongues and witless brainpans who mill about in the nether regions!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 11:54 AM

Surge Mater Nostra, et dissipentur inimici tui et fugiant qui oderunt te a facie tua


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 12:04 PM

There's been a surge in Mom's deodedrant dispenser that hit her in the face?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 01:49 PM

I hope there isn't a deodorant dispenser at her house! That stuff is nasty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 01:50 PM

"Rise up Our Mom, and may thy enemies be dispersed and those who hate thee be driven from thy face."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 03:34 PM

Yeah, I know, Amos. You didn't have to show off what you remember of your Latin. But then, Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

I don't think that's true anymore, Rapaire...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 04:12 PM

Well, let's put it this way: Wann Sie diese lesen können ein guter Beaef in der Welt von Latinisch unterrichtenfinden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 04:33 PM

Or even Wenn Sie dieses lesen können, können Sie einen gute Beschäftigung in der Welt der lateinischen Lautsprecher erhalten.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 04:49 PM

Ach, mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 09 - 05:45 PM

Yes--that, I can believe.

Did you know, by the way, that ANYONE using the Mudcat can click on the Babelfish button as easily as thee?

Se não, você é um saco mais pesaroso do que nunca eu imaginaria, dado o respeito elevado em que eu o realizo.


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