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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 03 Dec 09 - 05:25 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 05:33 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 05:35 PM
Amos 03 Dec 09 - 05:56 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 06:06 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 06:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Dec 09 - 06:13 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 06:30 PM
Ed T 03 Dec 09 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 09 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 09 - 09:08 PM
Amos 03 Dec 09 - 10:16 PM
Amos 03 Dec 09 - 10:34 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 09 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 09 - 11:17 PM
Amos 03 Dec 09 - 11:40 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 09 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 09 - 08:55 AM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 09:28 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Dec 09 - 11:07 AM
GUEST,William Shatner 04 Dec 09 - 11:50 AM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 01:15 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 09 - 01:23 PM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 01:44 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 09 - 03:04 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM
Janie 04 Dec 09 - 03:47 PM
Janie 04 Dec 09 - 03:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Dec 09 - 04:51 PM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 09 - 06:19 PM
Acme 04 Dec 09 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 09 - 07:00 PM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 07:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Dec 09 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 09 - 10:05 PM
Amos 04 Dec 09 - 11:50 PM
Acme 05 Dec 09 - 01:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Dec 09 - 09:34 AM
Ed T 05 Dec 09 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 05 Dec 09 - 10:47 AM
Ed T 05 Dec 09 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 09 - 12:02 PM
Acme 05 Dec 09 - 04:44 PM
Amos 05 Dec 09 - 05:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Dec 09 - 06:25 PM
Ed T 05 Dec 09 - 06:39 PM
Amos 05 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM
Amos 05 Dec 09 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:25 PM

Ye've nae eaten haggis, hae ye? If ye had, ye'd sing a different tuin, laddies!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:33 PM

I ate sheepie-gutty Hassis, my guts did not cry out for more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:35 PM

For more on haggis: http://www.wilsonjo.demon.co.uk/haggis.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:56 PM

Damn, this pretense is stifling the place!! The Great Pretender will be reciting his line to the the throne of Wales next thing you know.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:06 PM

Could the "formely known as LH" be The Great Pretender because he was on an "Away Team"in the Isles, and breathed in the dangerous pollen of a fragrant bush?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:08 PM

If not "in the Isles. the wee bush may have been in the dank hi'lands, or the just as dank lo'lands?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:13 PM

I et haggis one time. Band I useta play in had a gig at some sorta fancy birfday party fer some feller named Burns. He's some big dawg hero t' then Scotch fokes even tho' all he ever did wuz write a buncha pomes an' songs an' he's been deader'n a by God fer a long time. All 'em fellers wearin' dresses come out totin' thet haggis like it wuz purt' near Baby Jesus on a platter. I tried some of it. It din't make me puke er nothin' but I ain't givin' up grits an' fried mullet fer th' dammed stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:30 PM

In praise of Haggis:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/jan/24/health.schoolmeals


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:38 PM

33,000....Obama Sending 33000 more U.S. Troops Over to Apghanistan ...


http://numeropedia.googlepages.com/numbers33k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 06:56 PM

Ahem! I have just penned a new epic, based on that song about the Alamo that the Kingston Trio and Donovan both did covers of way back when.

It is a little known fact that the garrison of the Alamo numbered about 85,000 Texians, most of whom were huddling in terror behind the walls as a Mexican army of about 1500 approached under command of the flamboyant and vainglorious dictator, Santa Ana, the self-proclaimed "Napoleon of the West". Fortunately for the Texians, there were three men of real grit in the garrison who were in a position of command, and who might be counted upon to stir some herioc passions in the breasts of their chicken-hearted comrades. There were also a pig and a goose who proved absolutely vital to the defence of the fort, and that part has been suppressed in the popular mythology that later arose around the battle. At any rate, the Mexican army (soon reinforced to about 2400 men) was blissfully unaware that it had surrounded a garrison of approximately 35 times its own strenght in numbers. Had the Mexicans known this, they would have fled. They were under the impression, though, that there were less than 200 poorly armed men defending the fort, so they prepared a siege and bombarded the place for 12 days while the 85,000 Texians hunkered down, prayed, wept, swore, and wrote desperate letters to their wives and sweethearts.

By the 12th day Travis had realized that reinforcements were not forthcoming and that little time was left before the shit would hit the fan. He summoned the entire garrison to parade in the open square and gave them a dramatic choice! Our song begins....

The Battle of the Alamo - 1836

85,000 were challenged by Travis to die
By a line that he drew with his sword when the battle was nigh
And him that would fight to the death cross over
But the others had better vamoose!
And over that line came three men, a pig, and a goose!

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!

'Twas Travis and Bowie and Crockett who dared to remain
And the pig and the goose crossed over the line unashamed
But 84,998 Texans were lacking in grit
The sight of the Mexican Army had caused them to shit

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're fleeing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, when we're far from the Alamo!

So 84,000 came pouring out over the walls
While another 600 tried to hide in the urinal stalls
Fifty men ran for the pigpen, twenty-eight jumped in the well
320 were trampled to death when they fell

And the 84,000 came pouring out over the walls
When the Mexicans saw that mob coming, they were plainly appalled
They threw down their rifles, abandoned their cannons
And frantically fled from the field
As the goose honked in joy and the pig triumphantly squealed:

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!

88,000 men scattered like shot from a gun
The Texans and Mexicans showed the world how they could run
They ran for the rivers, they ran for the hills, they dug holes and hid in the dirt
Santa Ana lost both of his boots, his hat, and his shirt

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!

"We've won," cried out Travis, in wonder, "and the glory's all mine!"
"Like hell!" growled Jim Bowie, "I outrank you, and you ain't worth a dime!"
Then up stepped bold Davie Crockett, his rifle held firm in his hand
Said, "If there's to be one lone survivor here, I am that man!"

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!

Jim Bowie was found with a bayonet stuck in his chest
While Travis lay dead with a bullet hole right through his breast
And poor Davie Crockett lay cold as a sprocket, the Bowie knife deep in his heart
While the goose and the pig danced a jig on the bloody ramparts!

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!

Santa Ana was ruined, he had to go back in disgrace
He'd lost half of his army, but worse than that, he'd lost face
The pig and the goose caught a train to Ohio where they got a good job at the zoo
And the Alamo stands as the proof that this story is true!

Hey?up! Santa Ana, we're killing your soldiers below
So the rest of Texas will know, and remember the Alamo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 09:08 PM

LH, I...I...I couldn't have written it better myself. Excuse me, for the tears of rememberance are streaming down my face for you see, I was there. There was one more than Travis, Crockett, and Bowie, and that was me. I was young then and I saw what happened. It's haunted me for years and now you've set it to song.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:16 PM

Wow. I am, for once, just at a loss for words. Good job, little hawk!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:34 PM

We was thirty-two-eight by the taffrail log
The last words that log did say.
For just as we read her the ship was pooped
And that log was carried away.
And we desperately ran up sixteen more
While we reckoned an Ell-Oh-Pee
For we was as lost as has ever been
In that wild and murky sea.

Now Hawk he stood a manly watch
Until he lost his steel
But the minute Still relieved his helm
He lost contact with what's real.
He swore he was safe on a Scottish trawler
Tied up in Aberdeen.
And we sighed, 'cuz this was the worst damn case
Of nerves we'd ever seen.

So we sent old Hawk to his bunk below
Wrapped up in a burlap wrap.
And he babbled on about Mither Ships
And similar unreal crap.
But the rest of us faced into that blow
Blowing sixty knots toward day;
And we clamped on the lifelines, and braced and prayed
For the thirty three of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:41 PM

Thanks. ;-) I got the idea at song circle on Tuesday. Richard sings that song, and he's under the impression that the first verse goes...

"Eight hundred and eighty were challenged by Travis to die
By a line that he drew with his sword when the battle was nigh
And him that would fight to the death cross over
But him that would live better fly
And over that line came a hundred and seventy nine..."

I told him, "Richard, it's a hundred and eighty, not eight hundred and eighty."

He said, "No, it's 880. That's how Donovan sings it."

"No, he doesn't!"

"Yes he does!"

And so on.... ;-) Well, we never resolved it. Richard will just go on singing "880 were challenged" on the first line, I guess...but it gave me the idea for stretching the whole thing just a tad farther...now we've got 85,000 "challenged" Texans, and I find that concept pretty amusing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 11:17 PM

Am gáeth tar na bhfarraige
Am tuile os chinn maighe
Am dord na daíthbhe
Am damh seacht mbeann
Am drúchtín rotuí ó ngréin
Am an fráich torc
Am seabhac a néad i n-aill
Am ard filidheachta
Am álaine bhláithibh
Am an t-eo fis
Cía an crann agus an theine ag tuitim faire
Cía an dhíamhairina cloch neamh shnaidhite
Am an ríáin gach uile choirceoige
Am an theine far gach uile chnoic
Am an scíath far gach uile chinn
Am an sleagh catha
Am nómá tonnag sírthintaghaív Am úagh gach uile dhóich dhíamaíní
Cía fios aige conara na gréine agus linn na éisce
Cía tionól na rinn aige, ceangladh na farraige,
cor i n-eagar na harda, na haibhne, na túatha.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 11:40 PM

Rapaire:

If you must speak gibberish and then make other people feel small because they don't follow your meaning, at least abide by the Twitter Style Guide. It's the least one could expect from a gentleman... well, do it anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 01:32 AM

Looks like Gaelic or something along that line...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 08:55 AM

1st amuss sez b dum an then he sez b smart. so wen i put smart stuf hear he dont like it. poop head. just cuz he cant rede irish i'll translate the las wun:

Amergin's Call To Ireland

I request the land of Ireland (to come forth)
coursed is the wild sea
wild the crying mountains
crying the generous woods
generous in showers (rain/waterfalls)
showers lakes and vast pools
vast pools hosts of well-springs
well-springs of tribes in assembly
assembly of kings of Tara
Tara host of tribes
tribes of the sons of Mil
Mil of boats and ships
ships come to Ireland
Ireland high terribly blue
an incantation on the (same) wind
(which was the) wind empty of Bres
Bres of an empty cup
Ireland be mighty
Ermon at the beginning
Ir, Eber, requested
(now it is) I (who) request the land of Ireland!

now i aint gonn be smart no moor cuz of amuz.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 09:28 AM

It is NOT smart to alienate your readers, sir. Your premise is fallacious and the rest of your argument fails in consequence. What is smart is helping others understand stuff.

But u kn do wt u wnt, mn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 11:07 AM

I never feel small because I don't follow Rapaire's meaning. I simply reckon that meaning is an optional attribute in his worldview. Sort of like electric windows or built-in GPS. He bought the budget model that didn't have meaning installed at the factory, that's all. Personally, I like a little meaning, but I'm not fanatic about it. I also like cruise-control. It keeps me from getting speeding tickets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 11:50 AM

All these bogus accents. Bogus! to quote from one of my favorite National Public Radio programs. Anyway. I'll do a reading with an accent.

Kipling seems appropriate.


THE YOUNG BRITISH SOLDIER


When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
   Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
    Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
    Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
    Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
         So-oldier ~OF~ the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
   A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
    Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
   An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
    Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
   An' it crumples the young British soldier.
    Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You ~must~ wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
   An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
    Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
   That it's beer for the young British soldier.
    Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
   Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
    'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
   An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
    Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
   And march to your front like a soldier.
    Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
   An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
    Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
   For noise never startles the soldier.
    Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
   And wait for supports like a soldier.
    Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
   An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
    Go, go, go like a soldier,
    Go, go, go like a soldier,
    Go, go, go like a soldier,
         So-oldier ~of~ the Queen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 01:15 PM

Shatner's a comedian, especially when trying not to be one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 01:23 PM

Whoo-Hoo! Love that Kipling, and when it's read by Shatner it's just...just...ineffable.

Say, I thought of one more verse for the Alamo song. A coda to wrap things up:

Now the Alamo stands as proof of all that I've said
It will stand there forever to honor the glorious dead
But no one remembers the brave little pig and no one remembers the goose
Where's the honor in that? Where's the justice? And what's the excuse?

Hey--up! Santa Ana, they drove off your soldiers below
And the rest of Texas should know
How they fought for the Alamo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 01:44 PM

The answers are simple though some find them hard to confront!
The myths and imagined events -- if you'll let me be blunt --
Are simply phantasms of someone's wild dreaming
Psychosis let run on the loose.
One wild-eyed fanatic was song, sionger and pig and goose!!

Way, up! Santa Ana we squabble and squawk,
Though the rest of Texas may talk.
You can blame it on Little Hawk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 03:04 PM

LOL!

I will not sing that song in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM

I really should visit you in sunny California sometime, Amos. We could invent bizarre doggerel all the livelong day, and I would have a brief escape from the Canadian winter. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 03:47 PM

Must have...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 03:48 PM

32832


Ta da!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 04:51 PM

How appropriate that Mr. Shatner, erstwhile commander of the Enterprise, should stop by just as some folks are going on about the Alamo. There's nothing like Avis it from ol' Bill.

Well, U-Haul can hang around here if you like, but I'm trying to Budget how much time I waste on this Interweb thingie. I'd do a crossword puzzle instead, but my Penske bleeding through the pages. Maybe if I wouldn't try to be so Thrifty and maybe spend more than a Dollar on them, they'd Ryder little bit better.

This post really Hertz, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 05:55 PM

At least Monsieur Ell is trying harder. LH. you would be welcome but I do have a day job, so I could not linger about parodizing during the weekdays anyway.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 06:19 PM

Plagarising, you mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 06:28 PM

He missed Rent a Wreck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 07:00 PM

Maybe he is Rent-a-Wreck....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 07:03 PM

Ah, no, no, M. Rapaire. I would not presume to encroach on your well-established field of expertise...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 07:44 PM

I didn't omit Rent-a-Wreck. They're not in my Yellow Pages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 10:05 PM

Let's see. This year: rotator cuff surgery, PTSD diagnosis, facing therapy, diabetes 2...yeah, I guess I am the expert.

So, Amos -- whatcha wanna know about being a wreck?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 11:50 PM

I meant --as you know--your expertise on plagiarism, Monsieur. But never mind that. To answer your question: who caused this wreck?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 01:11 AM

Yellow pages? Is that like yellow journalism?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 09:34 AM

The yellow pages are in the phone book, Stilly. At least they're yellow in mine. But I'm not absolutely certain they're supposed to be yellow. The phone book was delivered while we were out of town at an art fair. It was leaning against the mailbox post. A dog may have peed on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 10:13 AM

"Silence is not always golden; sometimes it is yellow"unknown source


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 10:47 AM

Well, Amos, it varied. The PTSD was caused when the US Army made me see and do things that weren't very nice at all and that's why I need the therapy. The need for rotator cuff surgery was caused by a a fall I had in Boise when I lost my balance on the edge of a curb cut made for handicapped folks. The type 2 diabetes is under discussion, but it might very well have been brought on by exposure to dioxin-containing herbicides used along the DMZ in Korea.

Now, there's this scar on the outside of my right leg. THAT was made when a guy cut me with a corn knife (a kind of short, heavy, machete). The scar on my left temple was caused by a fall when ice skating and the temple bar of my glasses was driven into the side of my head. The little scar in my right eyebrow was caused when my mother dropped me on my head.

There. Does that answer your question, at least partially?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 11:08 AM

"If you don't have anything good to say... say it often" Quote....Ed the Sock

Inventions from Ed

http://www.edthesock.com/clips/eds_inventions.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 12:02 PM

Boy, what an @$$hole that Ed the Sock is!!! LOL! For the first time I begin to see the tasteful side of Shane McBride...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 04:44 PM

MOM, the garden is kaput after the freeze. And the semester is almost over. I'm way behind in a bunch of stuff. I'm just going to sit here at the kitchen table and work and you guys just move around the room quietly, okay? And if I get tired of sitting, I'll take the wheelbarrow and clean up in the garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 05:13 PM

Rapaire: Well, it answers the question to a degree, but one that falls short of the ultimate Answer.

BTW, did you ever wonder why the electrical storage units in your cellphone and vibrator and toy bunny rabbit were called "batteries", which after all is a violent term? It was Ben Franklin's fault. He was playing with Leyden jars and discovered that (a) the charge was not in the conductor (water) but in the dielectric and (b) that they could be arranged in series. He called the series of Leyden jar cells a battery, borrowing the term from artillery conventions where several guns lined up in a row were called such.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 06:25 PM

Well, maybe the electrical storage units in your stuff are called "batteries", but the ones in my stuff are called "Henry, Frank, Lucille, Eloise, Bob, George, Mary, Jane, etc.". They get very upset if I call them "batteries" and insist on being addressed by name. And if I get their names wrong, they stop working. It's really a hassle 'cause they all look pretty much alike. I bought a 20-pack of AAs a few days ago and had to learn all their names before I even broke the seal on the package.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 06:39 PM

From 1700 BC....Distant sounds of a "Rapaire" in the making:

Heber and Heremon were the sons of Milesius of Spain and shortly after the death of their father, along with their six brothers, with a numerous fleet well manned and equipped, set forth from Breoghan's Tower or Brigantia (now Corunna) in Galicia, in Spain, and sailed prosperously to the coasts of Ireland or lnis-Fail, where they met many difficulties and various chances before they could land: occasioned by the diabolical arts, sorceries, and enchantments used by the Tuatha-de-Danann, to obstruct their landing; for, by their magic art, they enchanted the island so as to appear to the Milesians or Clan-na-Milé in the form of a Hog, and no way to come at it (whence the island, among the many other names it had before, was called "Muc-Inis or "The Hog Island"); and withal raised so great a storm, that the Milesian fleet was thereby totally dispersed and many of them cast away, wherein five of the eight brothers, sons of Milesius, lost their lives. That part of the fleet commanded by Heber, Heremon, and Amergin (the three surviving, brothers), and Heber Donn, son of Ir (one of the brothers lost in the storm), overcame all opposition, landed safe, fought and routed the three Tuatha-de Danann Kings at Slieve-Mis, and thence pursued and overtook them at Tailten, where another bloody battle was fought; wherein the three (Tuatha-de-Danann) Kings and their Queens were slain, and their army utterly routed and destroyed: so that they could never after give any opposition to the Clan-na-Milé in their new conquest; who, having thus sufficiently avenged the death of their great uncle Ithe (who had been slain by the inhabitants of Ireland), gained the possession of the country foretold them by Cachear, some ages past. Heber and Heremon, the chief leading men remaining of the eight brothers, sons of Milesius aforesaid, divided the kingdom between them (allotting a proportion of land to their brother Amergin, who was their Arch-priest, Druid, or magician; and to their nephew Heber Donn, and to the rest of their chief commanders), and became jointly the first of one hundred and eighty-three Kings or sole Monarchs of the Gaelic, Milesian, or Scottish Race, that ruled and governed Ireland, successively, for two thousand eight hundred and eighty-five years from the first year of their reign), Anno Mundi three thousand five hundred, to their submission to the Crown of England in the person of King Henry the Second; who, being also of the Milesian Race by Maude, his mother, was lineally descended from Fergus Mór MacEarca, first King of Scotland, who was descended from the said Heremon - so that the succession may be truly said to continue in the Milesian Blood from before Christ one thousand six hundred and ninety-nine years down to the present time.

And, after many centuaries, these events eventially begot the reigning rebel "Rapaire of MAOB"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM

You crack me up, BRuce!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:09 PM

Ah, the chain plates creaked and began to crack,
And the transom started to split,
ANd the bob-stays screamed like a hellion's dream
And the storm grew as dark as the Pit.
But we never flinched and we never turned
With a hundred and fifty to go,
We stood our watches one at a time
ANd let the damn storm blow.

Oh, our sides were sore and our ribs were bruised
And our fingers sore and bleeding
And our eyes were tight from the endless night
When the binnacle needed readin'.
But we limped below for an hour or so
And came back to the helm and the stay,
We wuz damned if we'd let this goddamned storm
Keep us short of our thirty-three kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM

Jeez, Amos. Even YOU should know the Ultimate Answer by now, ferchrissake! It's 42.


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