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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

freda underhill 30 Jun 04 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 04 - 12:15 PM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 08:34 PM
khandu 30 Jun 04 - 10:26 PM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 11:16 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 01 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,MMario 01 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM
Amos 01 Jul 04 - 01:18 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 04 - 03:34 PM
Amos 01 Jul 04 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 04 - 07:11 PM
Amos 01 Jul 04 - 08:24 PM
khandu 01 Jul 04 - 09:20 PM
Amos 01 Jul 04 - 09:43 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 01 Jul 04 - 09:46 PM
khandu 01 Jul 04 - 10:22 PM
42 01 Jul 04 - 11:49 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 02 Jul 04 - 09:22 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Jul 04 - 09:36 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 02 Jul 04 - 09:49 AM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 10:12 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Jul 04 - 10:17 AM
freda underhill 02 Jul 04 - 10:22 AM
beardedbruce 02 Jul 04 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 01:37 PM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 01:42 PM
GUEST 02 Jul 04 - 01:47 PM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 04:40 PM
Tweed 02 Jul 04 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 05:59 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 04 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 06:18 PM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 07:23 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 04 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 04 - 08:39 PM
Amos 02 Jul 04 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 04 - 09:07 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 04 - 09:13 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 04 - 09:17 PM
GUEST,Monica Moore 02 Jul 04 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 04 - 09:16 AM
Amos 03 Jul 04 - 10:37 AM
CarolC 03 Jul 04 - 07:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 04 - 10:35 PM
CarolC 03 Jul 04 - 10:43 PM
Amos 03 Jul 04 - 11:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:44 AM

it certainly is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:15 PM

Every number is significant. Like every human being it should be enfolded in warmth and love, embraced for itself alone, its self-esteem reinforced and strengthened at every possible opportunity. Otherwise, it will run rampant and end up like the square root of negative 1, or e, or (shudder!) infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 08:34 PM

The square root of infinity is I. It is a strange coincidence that the symbol i was adapted to represent imaginary numbers and the square root of -1.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:26 PM

"Ergo, if then everyone here is "insane", "insanity" is "sanity" and khandu is "insane.""
Rapaire hit the head on the nail!!!
Exactly what I meant regarding "normal" & "dizzy"!!

Methinks, Sir Rapaire, that you understand the "2+2=5" concept! I am certain Little Hawk does, as he was an early disciple of Harry Lee Wigley!

42, I am pleased that you were affirmed & consoled! That is what I am here for!


Amos, I secretly admire & respect you! I will bet you ocassionally enjoy a good slice of cheese!

Freda, you show an unkhanny grasp of the reality of BS of which this is the MOTHER! I am bewildered as to your origins!

Now, I must say "ta-ta" for some time as my ASCID is beginning its induction; Meanwhile...carry on...

TA-ta!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 11:16 PM

Thanks Yer Majeste-Lese.

I want to point out in case it was missed that there is one death-defying, Cosmic Bank-Breaker proposition amongst ALL the BS on this thread, one that is right up there with e=mc^2 as a Classic Bee-Essical Proposition. It is the nature of the square root of infinity, revealed just a few posts earlier. It is easy to understand when you pause to reflect on the process of reaching a square from a square root:

(I)*(I)= Oo (Infinity)


But it only works when you clear away the parentheses.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM

Amos, do you mean the classic equation?

(.) (.)

   .

   v


or

. .


.

?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM

huh?

I can usually follow the conversations around here - but I am lost,lost,lost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 01:18 PM

Rapaire's usually profound comprehension has been outstripped, MM, and he has been shaken and reduced to drawing dirty little ASCII cartoons of male and female images. Sigh. Lo, how the mighty have fallen. The Cosmic Equation [SQRT (I)=infinity] is still perfectly sound.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM

R = AB/12(to the infinite power)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 03:34 PM

The Squirt equation? Sea squirt? c SQRT?

You're just jealous 'cause you can't draw nekkid humins in asskey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 06:48 PM

I do apologize, Rapaire et alia; I miswrote. That should have read SQRT(infinity)=[I].

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 07:11 PM

No wonder it didn't work! I trusted Amos's mathematics! My lawyer will contact you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 08:24 PM

Tell him not to bother, man. I have thought about it some more and they're BOTH right!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:20 PM

Any one for (Jay,not George!) Bush's Baked Beans??
Well, come on over!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:43 PM

The more I think about it the more amazing it is. That "I" should be the square root of infinity AND infinity be the square root of "I" would seem to be totally impossible at first blush. But both statements are actually true, the reason being that the normal measures of space and time do not obtain in the same way when you start with "I" and infinity. There is a point, of course, where infinity and "I" are the same, which what makes this possible. A whole series of them, actually....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:46 PM

heloo, waht all this is about?
[i just readee all this thread, but i still dont know wath is about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 10:22 PM

100% pure undefiled BS!
(Who made you a "Sir"?)

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 11:49 PM

It's all about I.
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:22 AM

The square root of the number 1 (I'm using decimal here) is 1, and the square of 1 is 1. So is zero. Therefore, 0 = 1 = infinity.

And since ALL numbers are multiples of 0 or 1, they are multiples of infinity as well.

Well, you can only imagine what this realization has meant to mathematicians around the world! Why, Sir Harry Seavers OBE, QC, L of H, C de G, PhD (Oxon), PhD (Cam), etc. shot himself over his frustration in trying to determine the true nature of the square root of -1! Brenda McNulty (PhD, PhD, PhD, DD, ScD) was led off by keepers from the Smiley Home while she babbled about logarithms. Stock brokers all over the world have been leaping out of windows (first floor, sprained ankles are rampant) because stocks have become invaluable and worthless at the same time. Accountants are trying to change jobs in droves, those whose heads haven't yet exploded. The world's monetary system is screwed, since asking for a withdrawal of zero is also asking for a withdrawal of all the money. The Dewey Decimal System seems to be the only thing still rational, as librarians have long recognized that numbers are only symbols, after all.

The effect on binary is awful, and as a result computers are exploding or shutting down in frustration when trying to operate in a two-valued system based on three values that are all the same thing. Hexadecimal notation has lost half of its characters.

All Is Chaos (except for the Dewey Decimal System)! Repent now, for the end is either at hand or it isn't!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:36 AM

The wonder of mathematics!
The square root of the number 1 (I'm using decimal here) is 1, and the square of 1 is 1

Do you realize this statement is also true in binary, base3, base4, base5, hexadecimal, etc, etc?

fascinating!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:49 AM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 10:12 AM

You extend the notion from squares to one equaling zero, but your work there is flawed. One does not equal zero. I am sorry. It just doesn't, ok!!!?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 10:17 AM

but One is the loneliest number that you'll ever see!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 10:22 AM

mathematics is to MOAB
like a fish is to a ..
oh, never mind.

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 10:23 AM

the square root of -1 is i, or i*1. therefore, i squared is -1.

(-1) squared [ or (i squared * 1) squared]equals -1 * -1 equals 1

(1) squared equals 1 * 1 equals 1

therefore (-1) squared [or (i squared * 1) squared] equals (1) squared

take the square root of both sides,

a) -1 equals 1

but -1 + 1 equals 0, and 1 + 1 equals 2, so

b) 0 equals 2

similarly, 0 equals -2


The end conclusion is that all numbers are equal to 0


Sorry, Amos

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM

That's what I said, but derived the conclusion differently.

We and all of ours are nothing, floating aimlessly in a void, nothing inside us, nothing around us, nothing behind us, nothing before us, nothing above us, nothing below us. Our existence is nothing, and our nonexistence is nothing.

Time is nothing, and our duration stretches before us into nothingness.

And then,

LO!

MOAB was, and is, and shall be, and there, like the primal scream of the first Big Bang, was and is and shall be, Light!

Actinic, glaring, Light, bathing all in the glory of BS, restoring to harmony with the Universal All everything everywhere, and Meaning again has meaning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 01:27 PM

I feel sorry for both of you. Bruce, you do fine up to the place marked (a) where you decide there is no difference between -1 and +1.

Rapaire, having found the light, now also find the dark, and hence the Peace that Surpasseth All Understanding!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 01:37 PM

Amos, I can only refer you to no less an authority than Michigan State University.

I'm quite disappointed in you. This information has been available to the scientific community for some time, and is obviously the reason MOABites are often known as "those suckers."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 01:42 PM

You, sir, are a jackanapes, and a will o' the wisp, that will forever lead the trusting and the innocent into swamps and quicksands beyond all comprehension. Never mind what I said about Peace...for you, the Bog that Passeth All Understanding!

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 01:47 PM

IN

the beginning there was MOAB; and all was chaos - and the spirit that was MOAB moved over the waters and the spirit was MOAB and MOAB was the spirit.

And MOAB said "Let there be music" and there was music mixed with the chaos amidst the waters and MOAB thought - "This could be better."

And MOAB said "let the waters of chaos be seperated from the waters of music - and let the waters of music float above the line and the waters of Chaos float below the line - and make it so.

and it was made so and MOAB said - I bet this could be even better.

And MOAB declaimed 'Let the waters of music and the waters of choas be visible only for a span of two score and four hours if not renewed"

and LO! the water of music and the waters of choas were visible only for a span of two score and four hours if not renewed - and MOAB said - "heck - I bet this could be better yet!"

And MOAB said - let there be filters by which one can seperate the chaos and the music by interest and content and let the filters be such that they can seperate the chaos and the music for a day or to the beginning of time; or any span thereof between; and let there be search functions which will search the text of the waters and the text of the choas and respond thereto.

And it was so and MOAB said "DAMN! I'm good! - but this could be better even so!"

And MOAB said 'Let there be discussion of all manners and sorts amongst the waters - even discussion of music and choas each to it's own kind" and it was so.

And MOAB said 'Let there be comment and rebuttal of all manner of things, music or choas again after each to it's own kind.

And it was so.

And MOAB said; 'Let there be those who divert the waters - so that choas which be mixed with the waters of music or music which shall be mixed with the waters of choas be divided - that the line shall be the divisor thereof and the choas below shall not mix with the music above - save if in the opinon of those who divert the waters the diversion be not necessary for the line.

And it was so.

And MOAB said 'the the voice of Shatner speak upon the waters'

and it was so - and MOAB cried.

DAMN! I blew it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 02:31 PM

Lo!! A PROPHET is among us!! Heed him, oh Jerusalem!! Heed him, oh MOAB. Heed him, George, Goddamit!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 04:40 PM

But I don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:06 PM

O Lord have mercy on me fore last nite I hed a dream obv great potents! Thar waz a temple in the wilderneff and it were held up wif oak trees. Rustic waz dancing nekkid by the lite obv her glistering moons and Khandu wabz sellin' cigars to Liddle Harg, who wabz dressed in some sort of go-rillia costume, but hed the ears and tail obv a dachsund.

Spaw had farted out the image obv the Secretariat obv DeFence onto a boulder of some kind and waz attracting much attention from passersbys az the image culd talk and told the mos' unusual stories.
I awoke deep in sweat and swirling clouds obv methane.

Tweed
Sleepless for ever more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:59 PM

That is a dream of deep, deep significance, Tweed. Indeed, it tells me more about you than I think I ever wanted to know, and that knowledge can best be summed up in three little words:



You’re a Pervert!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 06:03 PM

And LO! Shatnerization was achieved! And confusion descended upon the waters, whereof the principalities became divided into those realms of the Shatnerites and those of the Anti-Shatnerites. And among the Anti-Shatnerites there arose an exceedingly evil leader, named Amos, and he did strive mightily to convert or destroy all the Shatnerite principalities and their subjects and chattels, and scatter them to the four winds. But Lo! An angel spoke, and he said: "Let not the legions of Amos prevail, for there shall come a prophet unto these benighted lands, and his name shall by Little Hawk, and Lo! He shall preach to the heathen and spread the name and the power of Shatner far and wide until the hardest of heads be softened, for this is the will of the Lord!" And so it came to be. And Shatnerization went gloriously forward, despite the vile plots of Amos and his surrogates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 06:18 PM

So, there are the pro-Shatner forces and the anti-Shatner forces. But what about those of use who never gave a Shat one way or the other? Shall we just continue oogling Lt. Uhura?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 07:23 PM

Clearly this has gone too far, George -- you are swinging in moods, manic-depressive and suffer from delusions of grandeur which you have transferred to this Master of Love Handles, Ex-Wannabe Actor in undersized Pajamas. Then you have gone and pumped up this Epic Paranopid Mythology (EPM) using Shatner as a convenient vehicle. This EPM complex will get you into trouble, soon or late, my friend, I assure you. Please come to your senses before you bring harm on yourself and those near and dear to you.

Come to your senses, I beg you, and cast off the enthrallment of this bizarre false icon. Be yourself, nothing less.

Do it now!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 08:30 PM

LOL! Amos, fear not. Before Shatner was, I am. I am that I am.

Okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 08:39 PM

And by the way, Amos, I do not revere William McGonagall because I admire "mediocrity", as you put it. McGonagall is not mediocre. He is utterly dreadful, almost beyond description!!!! He is the pretentious nadir of English poetry, the Ne Plus Smegma of the rhyming couplet, the complete destruction of the poetic art! He knows no equal for sheer, unwitting incompetence, combined with utter assurance of the mastery of his chosen craft.

Mediocre poets are a dime a dozen. Why would they interest me? It is only those who take their craft boldly into previously unheard of dimensions of awfulness or greatness who really stir my interest. They are unusual. They become, in their own way, unforgettable.

For proof, read this great work by McGonagall, probably the only poem in history to rhyme "club" with "hubbub" (LOL!):

THE HEATHERBLEND CLUB BANQUET
by William McGonagall

'Twas on the 16th of October, in the year 1894,
I was invited to Inverness, not far from the sea shore,
To partake of a banquet prepared by the Heatherblend Club,
Gentlemen who honoured me without any hubbub.

The banquet was held in the Gellion Hotel,
And the landlord, Mr Macpherson, treated me right well;
Also the servant maids were very kind to me,
Especially the girl that polished my boots, most beautiful to see.

The banquet consisted of roast beef, potatoes, and red wine;
Also hare soup and sherry and grapes most fine,
And baked pudding and apples lovely to be seen;
Also rich sweet milk and delicious cream.

Mr Gossip, a noble Highlander, acted as chairman,
And when the banquet was finished the fun began;
And I was requested to give a poetic entertainment,
Which I gave, and which pleased them to their hearts' content.

And for my entertainment they did me well reward
By entitling me there the Heather Blend Club bard;
Likewise I received an Illuminated Address,
Also a purse of silver, I honestly confess.

Mr A.J.Stewart was very kind to me,
And tried all he could to make me happy;
And several songs were sung by gentlemen there--
It was the most social gathering I've been in, I do declare.

Oh, magnificent city of Inverness,
And your beautiful river, I must confess,
With its lovely scenery on each side,
Would be good for one's health there to reside.

There the blackbird and the mavis doth sing,
Making the woodlands with their echoes to ring
During the months of July, May, and June,
When the trees and the shrubberies are in full bloom.

And to see the River Ness rolling smoothly along,
Together with the blackbird's musical song,
While the sun shines bright in the month of May,
'Twill help to drive dull care away.

And Macbeth's Castle is grand to be seen,
Situated on Castle Hill, which is beautiful and green.
'Twas there Macbeth lived in days of old,
And a great tyrant he was, be it told.

I wish the Heatherblend members every success,
Hoping God will prosper them and bless;
Long May Dame Fortune smile upon them,
For all of them I've met are kind gentlemen.

And in conclusion, I must say
I never received better treatment in my day,
Than I received from my admirers in bonnie Inverness.
This on my soul and conscience I do confess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 08:49 PM

All right, Little Hawk, ALL RIGHT!! You're enlightened and Shatner and McGonagle are merely tokens of aesthetic extremism in which you see the deepest depths of depravity joyfully reflected. Fine. As I now see that these two awful and pathetic oafs are necessary parts of your own eternal Path, I will retire from jousting with you about them. But I would admire it greatly if you would do likewise and desist from inflicting them on me in this thread.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:07 PM

SKETCH OF LORD BYRON'S LIFE
by Julia Moore, "The Sweet Singer of Michigan"

"Lord Byron" was an Englishman
      A poet I believe,
His first works in old England
      Was poorly received.
Perhaps it was "Lord Byron's" fault
      And perhaps it was not.
His life was full of misfortunes,
      Ah, strange was his lot.

The character of "Lord Byron"
      Was of a low degree,
Caused by his reckless conduct,
      And bad company.
He sprung from an ancient house,
      Noble, but poor, indeed.
His career on earth, was marred
      By his own misdeeds.

Generous and tender hearted,
      Affectionate by extreme,
In temper he was wayward,
      A poor "Lord" without means;
Ah, he was a handsome fellow
      With great poetic skill,
His great intellectual powers
      He could use at his will.

He was a sad child of nature,
      Of fortune and of fame;
Also sad child to society,
      For nothing did he gain
But slander and ridicule,
      Throughout his native land.
Thus the "poet of the passions,"
      Lived, unappreciated, man.

Yet at the age of 24,
      "Lord Byron" then had gained
The highest, highest, pinacle
      Of literary fame.
Ah, he had such violent passions
      They was beyond his control,
Yet the public with its justice,
      Sometimes would him extol.

Sometimes again "Lord Byron"
      Was censured by the press,
Such obloquy, he could not endure,
      So he done what was the best.
He left his native country,
      This great unhappy man;
The only wish he had, "'tis said,"
      He might die, sword in hand.

He had joined the Grecian Army;
      This man of delicate frame;
And there he died in a distant land,
      And left on earth his fame.
"Lord Byron's" age was 36 years,
      Then closed the sad career,
Of the most celebrated "Englishman"
      Of the nineteenth century.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:13 PM

Ha! But the sheer delight of it all! Read through the lines in McGonagall's poem as he regales us with praise of worthies such as "Mr Gossip, a noble Highlander" (har! har!). Note the lasciviousness hiding coyly behind his appreciation of the girl who polished his boots, for God's sake! Every crass pretension and soppy emotionalism of the Victorian era is so resoundingly apparent in McGonagall's tortured attempts to create rhyme and meter.

That's why I love his poems. They are an unwitting satire of a pompous and self-satisfied era.

"The HeatherBlend Club bard". Oh my! Hoo! Ha! (gasp, ROTFL) I can only assume that they must all have been riproaringly drunk to have conferred such a notable title on their visitor in recognition of his undying verses!

I just don't get why you don't love this stuff, Amos...

As for Shatner, well, you know...he's an interesting 20th century phenomenon. Really quite unique.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:17 PM

Rapaire, Julia Moore is interesting...she's almost as bad as McGonagall. Damn shame they could not have married and done tours together across the English-speaking world! Isn't she the one who ended a line with "of men who cricket play"? Oooo! That's a doozie!

I'll say this, though. She has a far better sense of meter than McGonagall, albeit a poorer mastery of good grammar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Monica Moore
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:34 PM

Julia A. Moore
The Sweet Singer of Michigan

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


GRAND RAPIDS CRICKET CLUB
In Grand Rapids is a handsome club,
    Of men that cricket play,
As fine a set of skillful men
    That can their skill display.
They are the champions of the West,
    They think they are quite fine,
They've won a hundred honors well;
    It is their most cunning design.
Brave Kelso, he's considered great,
    Chief of the club he is found;
Great crowds he draws to see him bowl
    The ball upon the ground.
And Mr. Follet is very brave,
    A lighter player than the rest,
He got struck severe at the fair ground
    For which he took a rest.

When Mr. Dennis does well play,
    His courage is full great,
And accidents to him occur,
    But not much, though, of late.
This ball play is a dangerous game,
    Brave knights to play it though;
Those boys would be the nation's pride,
    If they to war would go.

From Milwaukee their club did come,
    With thoughts of skill at play,
But beat they was, and then went home --
    Had nothing more to say.
Grand Rapids club that cricket play,
    Will soon be known afar,
Much prouder do the members stand,
    Like many a noble star.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 09:16 AM

Yes, LH, you're right. Offspring of such a union would have be arrrrrgh! Ulp!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 10:37 AM

Three legs, a harelip, mini-cephalic, and a bad stammer to boot.

LH, you remind me of a small boy who delights in scraping his nails across a blackboard because it makes other people shiver in revulsion.

But I appreciate your exposition of your thinking on these characters, truly. It has a kind of perverse brilliance to it, I allow. We now have three characters in this strange zoo of yours, all examples of the heights of human mediocrity taken to its nadir.

All I can do is remind myself that there is no Good without a dark side to compare it to, and to be grateful I know very few people of comparable incompetence to these three.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 07:40 PM

the white thigh of history...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 10:35 PM

HELP! I've been held incommunicado for over a week! Incommunicado is the place where you wind up when the telephone company can't seem to find the short that makes your phone lose its dial tone every time it rains. And it's rained here every day since the end of May. It was going out for a while and then coming back, but last week it went away for keeps. Anyway, they seem to have it fixed so now I've got to read all the MOAB shit that's gone down since whenever it was my phone phucked up.

The only thing I can think off that may be more wasteful than posting to this piece if crap thread is having to go back a week and see what kind of drivel you other morons have been posting to this piece if crap thread. If somebody would like to post a synopsis of the posts since, say, June, 24 it would probably save me a lot of time and confusion. Just the funny parts would be fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 10:43 PM

the white thigh of history...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 11:17 PM

Gee, Carol, did that phrase capture your imagination? Or just make you roll around laughing a lot?...


A


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