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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 04 Jul 12 - 11:27 AM
Acme 04 Jul 12 - 12:03 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jul 12 - 01:08 PM
Amos 04 Jul 12 - 02:03 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jul 12 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 12 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 12 - 06:17 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jul 12 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 12 - 11:44 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM
Amos 05 Jul 12 - 10:03 AM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 12 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 12 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 12 - 09:04 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 12 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 12 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 12 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 12 - 12:59 PM
Amos 06 Jul 12 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Jul 12 - 11:33 PM
Acme 07 Jul 12 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 12 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 12 - 10:52 PM
gnu 08 Jul 12 - 06:16 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 12 - 03:47 PM
Acme 08 Jul 12 - 04:43 PM
Amos 08 Jul 12 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 08 Jul 12 - 11:08 PM
Amos 08 Jul 12 - 11:56 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Jul 12 - 02:46 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 09:07 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Jul 12 - 11:20 AM
Amos 09 Jul 12 - 12:44 PM
Amos 09 Jul 12 - 02:02 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Jul 12 - 02:35 PM
Acme 09 Jul 12 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 07:20 PM
Amos 09 Jul 12 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 12 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM
Amos 10 Jul 12 - 05:01 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 12 - 09:51 AM
Amos 10 Jul 12 - 11:14 AM
Little Hawk 10 Jul 12 - 12:53 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM
Amos 10 Jul 12 - 03:08 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jul 12 - 06:14 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 11:27 AM

Haul away and heave away, hard though it may be,
Get old Bobert's tractor out, from under yonder tree,
Heave and saw and lift and haul, until your bones are limp
And thank the stars above you that you're nothing but a Chimp!


Down on the Chongo river, boys, where the nights are long and sweet
They live on hemp and guava, and they dine on monkey meat
ANd every sailor comes to town, and every sailor's wife
Is on the hunt for chimpanzees, to take away their lives!

Haul away and heave away, hard though it may be,
Get old Bobert's tractor out, from under yonder tree,
Heave and saw and lift and haul, until your bones are limp
And thank the stars above you that you're nothing but a Chimp!


So all you little monkey boys, now listen to your mums
And don't you go a wandering, or follerin' the drums,
STay well within the uplands, kids, and do not play the imp.
Or you'll end up on a dinner plate, like that no-good Chongo Chimp!

Haul away and heave away, hard though it may be,
Get old Bobert's tractor out, from under yonder tree,
Heave and saw and lift and haul, until your bones are limp
And thank the stars above you that you're nothing but a Chimp!



Working Songs from Other Species 1956 edition, collected by Hilo Maxmin, Scasrsborough, New York.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 12:03 PM

Hey Amos, do you have a ringside seat for the intra-galaxy slow-motion train wreck anticipated for next year?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 01:08 PM

Heh! Pretty good song there, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 02:03 PM

I plan to be about a parsec away, slightly elevated so I can see into the center of events. Hope I will be outside the sphere of turbulence...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 02:33 PM

Maybe Artixes and the boys will be kind enough to take Shane out there and give him a ringside view when it happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 02:55 PM

Great idea! No spacesuit, no ship -- just Shame sitting in a chair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 06:17 PM

Research results:

Chongo is Pan troglodytes troglodytes. Records show clearly that birth occurred in the Western Congo; mother and father enjoyed a "consortship" (a one-and-one alliance) rather than the promiscuous sexual behavior common to nearly all chimpanzees. Chongo's father had an unusual brown pelfage -- not rare, but uncommon -- and his mother had the usual black. Chongo's parents had been under study for several years by the Dr. Hans Schillet (1897-1955) from the Östlich Preußen Einführen als Primaten Studium, as Dr. Schillet was interested in the brown/black couple's acceptance by the rest of the chimp group.

Chongo's parents were apparently accepted, but not well recognized, by the group. When his mother gave birth to twin girls the family was forcibly driven from the group and it was at this time that the father was killed (and eaten) by the dominant group members.

Dr. Schillet followed the mother and twins to the coastal area of Gabon, where they were (somewhat unwillingly) accepted by another group. Dr. Schillet reported that one of the twins became "attached" to a human near the town of Kango; this was a medical doctor who was working in a missionary hospital at the time. Because of signs given by the young chimp (e.g., self-mutilation of the genital area, male identification patterns) the surgeon performed what would now be called a "gender changing" operation on the chimp. After recovery the young chimp seemed much happier.

However, the change was definitely not accepted by their family group's new band. They were again driven out with force; this time the mother received a head laceration from a thrown stone but recovered. During her recovery it was noted that only the female groomed, fed, and brought water to the mother -- the transgendered male spent all of his time attempting coitus with any chimp or primate in the area.

Because of this behavior he was captured and sent to the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, Illinois, for further study. He escaped and took on more and more human characteristics and now called himself "Chongo Chimp."

Meanwhile, back in Gabon his sister was driven to prostitute herself to other chimps to gain more and better food for her recovering mother (this sort of caring behavior is uncommon in chimps, although prostitution is not). She would also be seen attacking places where "Chongo" had especially enjoyed himself -- after she attacked the missionary doctor she was captured (with her mother) and sent by Dr. Schillet to the Östlich Preußen Einführen als Primaten Studium for further study. She would respond to the term "Chinga" by her mother, and after her mother's death from the wounds received she escaped. She was last reported in New York City.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 11:04 PM

This is ridiculous. It's worse than some of the stuff I hear about Obama.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 12 - 11:44 PM

See:

Schillet, Hans, et al.: "Studiert einer Schimpanse Familie Gruppe Mit ein Sexualität-Gewechselt Glied," Tagebuch des Primaten Studium Einführen über Ost Preußen. Gumbinnen: Die Einführen, Volumen XXI, Zahl 6.

Also Dr. Shillet's papers, which are found in the Institute's library (unfortunately these are not yet in digital format).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM

I suggest a DNA test. If Change-oh Chimp was originally male there will be an XY chromosome pair. XX -- and "he's" out of the closet, "his" posturing exposed for the p***s envy it obviously is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 10:03 AM

What a wonderful world we live in, where careless fantasy can always fall back on the clearest of hard science, and vice-versa.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 01:29 PM

Of all the scurrilous politically-motivated and blatantly fabricated attacks launched upon Chongo Chimp by the shadowy subversives of the New World Order, these latest allegations of a supposed sex change in his childhood must rank among the most despicable ever. It is saddening to see our political process descending into this sort of depraved, unconscionable dishonesty and rumor-mongering. The question is, who is behind it? Obama's people? Romney's people? Big Louie's "people"?

(Big Louie is a gorilla. He wants to supplant Chongo as the APP candidate in 2012.)

It could be all of them! I wouldn't be surprised if it was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 01:40 PM

Well, anyway, it gives us Chongo supporters plenty of scope for going into a frenzy of recreational outrage. ;-) For some people, that's all that's really required to keep them motivated and happy. Note the daily discourse on the political threads on Mudcat Cafe...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 09:04 PM

The paper can be found in the source cited. Yes, it had to be translated from Prussian to German (Dr. Schillet was Prussian and proud of his heritage as one of the last people who could speak, read and write Prussian) but microfilm of the Journal can be found in (mainly academic) libraries around the world.

Just as President Obama's birth announcement in the Honolulu "Advertiser" can be found in microfilms of the paper (again in libraries worldwide), which makes it impossible to fake the same can be said of this article.

The onus is on Chongo to prove he is and always was male. Research -- solid, down-and-dirty, brass tacks research -- shows otherwise and raises several moral and ethical questions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 11:16 PM

Prussian is a different language from German?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 10:56 AM

Good Lard, the things I have to do around here because others won't do their own research! And me retired and all!

"The Prussian language really belongs not to the Germanic but to the Baltic group of Indoeuropean languages and is cognate with living Lithuanian and Latvian languages. The Baltic group of languages in its turn is closest to the Slavic group of languages (Czech, Serbian, Polish, Russian etc.). The latter, together with the Baltic group, are closest to the Germanic group of Indoeuropean (German, English, Swedish etc.). The Germanic languages are so-called centum-languages (cf. the word Engl. Hundred, Latin Centum), while the Baltic and Slavic languages are satem-languages (cf. Lith. ?imtas 'hundred', Polish Sto, Avestian Satæm). The Baltic languages in their turn are divided into Western (or Peripheral) Baltic (Prussian, extinct Yatvingian, Old Curonian etc.) and Eastern (or Central) Baltic (Lithuanian, Latvian). The first have retained e.g. an older diphthong ei on the place of the newer ie in the latter. On the other hand, Prussian shares with Latvian the whistling pronounciation of sibilants (s, z) against their hushing pronunciation in Lithuanian (?, ?), all of them coming from "centum" Indoeuropean *k, *g. Prussian is much more archaic than Eastern Baltic, although Lithuanian is much more archaic than Latvian."

Note that this is not "Old Prussian" (a misnomer), which became extinct as a spoken language in the 18th Century.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 11:05 AM

Hey, c'mon...you know you love the chance to expound on various arcane subjects. That's why I asked you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 12:59 PM

So I track down Chongo's background and I'm not believed even though the information comes from unimpeachable sources.

I'm turning this info over to the Romeny, Paul, Obama and other campaigns! Even Lyndon La Rouche!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 05:45 PM

I am sure Lyndon's team will put it to good use! Hi, Mom! I am in the high deserts of Arizona in the Verde Valley visiting gramma. I find it exceeding dry and hot. I do not like this climate or altitude. But duty calls men into many hard places.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 11:33 PM

Yer allegations are completely unfounded, Rap, and yer "sources" would be 100% impeachable...IF you HAD any real sources! Ook! Ook! ;-D I'm laughin' at the thought of yer so-called unimpeachable sources which are nothin' more than the ravin' ramblings of yer own unstable mind. You make things up. You plagiarize and fantasize wildly. Then you refer to yer insane fantasies as comin' from "unimpeachable sources". Look, buddy, call it what it is: bald-faced lying or complete mental incompetency. You oughta be ashamed of yerself. Yer momma oughta give you a good spankin' and send you to bed without a glass of milk for bein' such a liar. What you need at this point, pal, is a set of asbestos pants! ;-D Ook! Ook!

You say the onus is on me to prove that I am and was always male?

No, Roscoe. The onus is on you to prove that you are:

1. sane

and

2. not a complete dumbass!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 12:05 AM

I think Chongo posts here more than Little Hawk these days. Has anyone seen LH in person lately, to be sure some transmogrification hasn't taken place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 11:36 AM

I spoke with LH recently and I assure you that he has not transmogrified into anything. He's just as he's always been; he even answered the phone with "Ook ook, ya flippin' bolthole, eh?"

As for Chongo's last post, I have certification from both a psychologist and a psychiatrist that I am not only as sane as anyone else, but am not a danger to myself or others. My intelligence was measured at "near genius" level and my social skills are such that I rarely slam either my face or another's into a plate of spaghetti.

Personally, I think that Chongo doth protest too much. But in these times no one places a stigma on such things and I think he would be a much stronger candidate if he'd just admit it. Oh sure, there are reactionaries everywhere, but I doubt that his presidential campaign would fail just because of what I've discovered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 10:52 PM

Dammit, Mom was down there cleaning tailless kittens! Who knows what she would have gotten up to if I had not happened along!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 06:16 AM

Yeah. She'd been in shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 03:47 PM

Looks like it's just me and gnu and Stilly around. Amos is off in Arizona or somewhere getting his vortex fixed, Eiseley's in jail again (aiding and abetting), LH's with Amos...ain't nobody around hardly to prevent Mom from running around, throwing tomatoes and setting off M-80s and generally raising Hell to new heights. Even Gluon's hiding under the back porch, munching on a Higg's Boson, to escape the heat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 04:43 PM

I was busy bailing out the shit spam at my favorite organic gardening site, where I am a moderator. The spam last week was horrific - I guess those folks in China decided we must take the week off for the Fourth of July and not watch our websites. They piled on the spam and I spent several days not only removing that (30 minutes to get the July 4 stuff) but also tracking back and removing a thousand or more spam accounts. There are a lot more old ones, but this is to clean up the current activity and it's set so I can spot any new spam accounts instantly.

MOM was complaining last night that I had the light on late, doing all of this. Sorry about that. No, I won't put the computer desk in a closet or put a blanket over the top to keep the light under control. Maybe I'll duct tape MOM's door shut to keep light from coming around the cracks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 06:34 PM

A long weekend in the highlands of Arizona, mostly fixing Gramma's computer and getting h er Direct TV system running properly again. She's all back to battery and is a much happier lady than she was was before we arrived. Plus I finished reading two books and did a huge amount of driving over hill and over dale. Not that Dale.


It never ceases to amaze me to hear Chongo accuse others of making stuff up. The guy is 100% figment, and wouldn't know reality if it struck him between his shiny little eyes with a two-by-four. Which is not such a bad idea. It might get his attention, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 11:08 PM

A two by four between the eyes? That kinda thing never fails to get my attention, Amos. I normally answer it with a burst of .44 or .45 calibre ammo, though, so I don't advise it as a good approach. If you wanta get my attention in a healthy way that won't cause yer friends and relatives much grief, it is better to address me as "Mr Chongo, sir", and state yer business in a clear and respectful manner.

Then there's money. Offer me a retainer of a few thousand dollars and you've got my undivided attention.

With the Obama and Romney campaigns runnin' real scared about the increasin' role of the APP in national politics, I expect to soon be offered much larger amounts than that from major corporate players, bankers, and other crooks. I'm talking hundreds of millions of dollars, not thousands. They will try and buy my loyalty, like they already done with certain others I could mention...

But from ordinary stiffs like you, a few thousand bucks is all I expect as a retainer and an investment in a better future. Hell, even a few hundred if it's near the end of the month...

Contact yer local APP office and contribute now.

- Chongo

p.s. We don't take peanuts. Bananas or mangos are okay. Money is even better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 11:56 PM

YEah, but it's a funny thing about reality--it doesn't take bribes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:46 AM

If you lived in this town, you would never say that! ;-D Ook! Ook! Bribery is the essential enablin' factor in Chicago politics, and always has been. It's a sacred tradition here, along with graft, corruption, and conflict of interest. Then there's violence...a little toned down from the glory days of Prohibition, but still nothin' to sneeze at.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 09:07 AM

Problem is, whenever someone offers Chongo a retainer (the money kind, not the dental kind) they have to be wearing silk or nylon stocking so he can think about the sound the stockings make when that person crosses their long, shapely, legs (high heels are also a requirement). Then they have to take out a cigarette and put it between crimson lips and as he lights it for them they have to raise their eyes seductively.

Well, I've got some silk long johns for really cold weather but I usually wear heavy pants over them. I gave up smoking back in 1985, and I've never raised my glims seductively for anyone. What I do have is heat, and if a certain chuimp tees me off enough I'll cap him, whether he's someone's canny date or not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 11:20 AM

You are definitely talkin' sense now, Rap. How did you get such piercin' insight into my lifestyle and basic preferences? You're right...a retainer comin' from you would not really "make my day", as the sayin' goes. It would not jiggle my icecubes, if ya know what I mean.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 12:44 PM

My basic point was kind of overlooked: how do we end up seeing a figment accuse a Real of making stuff up? Seems to me this violates the first law of thermodynamics, or at least its psychological equivalent. By the way, that equivalent is a powerful law in psychology--it governs all known psychological phenomena, just as the laws of thermodynamics govern all molecular phenomena--but it has never been articulated!!. So there's probably a big prize in it for anyone who can put it accurately into words. But anyway, it is definitely being violated when imaginary beings point fingers at real beings accusing them of having imaginations. It just doesn't add up, if you see what I mean.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:02 PM

Mind you, I do not actually think Chongo hisself is a violation. He's a pardigmatic example of the spiritual hunger for future existence, manifesting itself in the form of a cartoon that acquires future. It strikes me that the first law of psychodunamics might have to be phrased in terms of acquiring future realities. Either that, or acquiring different exchanges in the precious commodity of admiration, the rare particle that makes all change possible. Or some combination of the two. So Chongo is not a violation of the basic law, but he is a most repugnant example of it!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:35 PM

Yer a pretty repugnant example yerself, mister, spreadin' all those nasty lies and rumors about a highly motivated public servant such as me. And lemme ask you this, just how real do you think YOU are in MY world? Huh? What do you count for in my scheme of things? Would you be missed much if you was suddenly gone?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:18 PM

Amos was out driving Hill and Dale - did you see Chip while you were there as well?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:20 PM

Amos, you are forgetting The Truth: I created EVERYTHING


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:45 PM

Well, Apeface, that's the difference between figments and Reals. Reals, when they go away, are missed because they cannot be instantly replaced. But I am not going to argue with a figment about the core nature of reality. It is below my reality-level.


Chippendale is kind of rare in Arizona, Still, except maybe in Sedona. Hill and dale, on the other hand, is everywhere north of Phoenix. The only pairing I am not aware of anywhere is Chippenhill.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 08:03 PM

That sounds like a great name for a subdivision! I'll pass it along.

Chippenhill Estates.
Chippenhill Ranchettes.
Chippenhill Manor Estates.

Yeah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 08:54 PM

Try England and Connecticut for Chippenhill, Amos. It's a historic place name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 10:56 PM

I should perhaps remind you, Amos, of how sorely Sherlock Holmes was missed when Conan Doyle, in an attempt to end that particular series, killed him off. The public was livid. The author received an avalanche of protest mail, including death threats if the famous sleuth did not return. He eventually yielded to the pressure and resurrected Holmes in order to restore a semblance of peace to his own life!

This proves without a doubt that you are not correct in your statement "that's the difference between figments and Reals. Reals, when they go away, are missed because they cannot be instantly replaced."

Fictionals are just as sorely missed as reals when they go away...and unlike in the case of reals...where people simply HAVE to accept that they are gone for good once they're gone...people NEVER give up on a fictional hero (or villain), and will go on demanding to see him again no matter what, because to be fictional is essentially to be immortal.

Chongo could well outlast both of us...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 11:01 PM

Amos, must I remember you of the last chapter in Heinlein's "The Number Of The Beast"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM

Excuse me, "remind you" and not "remember you."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 05:01 AM

At the time, it is true, but now? No-one misses Moriarty, Ahab, or Liberty Valence, or Casey Jones, or the little matchgirl, or Billy Budd. Even those who are mourned at the moment of their vanishment because of their role in a story are not missed afterwards. Holmes' public simply didn't like the plot. I do not miss Corridus, who died in the wainscoting, or the unlamented Shane.

But Mark Twain, whom I never met personally, I miss all the time. Likewise my own father, Jack KEnnedy, Robert Penn Warren, Ernest Hemingway, a childhood friend who died young--these and more I miss. The vacuum they left is as real as they were.

Only metaphysics can assuage my pain. Fortunately I have a great deal of metaphysics. Seems I have somehow acquired a lifetime supply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 09:51 AM

How about Sir Isaac Newton or Friday or Lazarus Long or Tamara or Maureen or Podkayne or HAL or the folks at Sector General or Captain Nemo or Little Nemo or Sister Fidelma or John Thorndyke or Rancid Crabtree? How about the White Hart or Callahan's Place or the raft with Huck and Jim floating down the river under the stars or Avalon or Camelot or Valhalla or Asgard? Wouldn't you just once like to sit and have a drink with Holmes and Watson or cross swords with Cyrano or trek with Oscar and Star or join the Mother Thing on an investigation? How about joining Biff, watching while his best friend grew up and adventuring with him along the way?

Geez, Amos, ain't you got no adventure and romance in your soul?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 11:14 AM

How illogical! I would love to do all those things, Mister Booques, and I have the highest respect for good fiction that makes the heart to stir.

But I don't miss Huck's alcoholic father, do you? Nor do I miss Injun Joe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 12:53 PM

You defend your point admirably, Amos, and I see what you're driving at. But surely you are not comparing the admirable Chongo Chimp to scoundrels like Huck Finn's alcoholic father and the murderous Injun Joe? Rather you should compare him to gritty heroes of fiction such as Philip Marlowe or Indiana Jones, men who face danger with equanimity and style. He is, after all, a Chimp who has blazed trails for many others to follow.

I miss John Kennedy too, by the way. And Robert. I wonder what they'd have accomplished if they'd lived longer? And would I like them as much if they had...or would I have become disillusioned with them? One thing about dying early in life....your image never gets a chance to tarnish in the harsh light of the passing years, but remains "forever young".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM

In a few days, Naayéé' Neizghání had killed Tsé Nináhálééh, Monster Eagle, and Tsé dah Hódziiłtáłii, The Monster Who Kicks People Down the Cliff, and Binááʼ yee Aghání, the Monsters That Kill with Their Eyes. "Surely the Naayééʼ have all been destroyed now," said Changing Woman. Níłch'i, The Wind, whispered into the ear of Monster Slayer, "Some still survive. Są́, the Old Age Woman, still remains. She looks like a frail creature, but she slowly saps strength with the passing years. Beware of her." Monster Slayer said to his mother, "Tell me where I can find the dwelling place of Są́, The One Who Brings Old Age." "There is no need for you to seek her," said Changing Woman. Níłchʼi The Wind whispered, "She lives among the mountains at Dibé Nitsaa, the Place of Mountain Sheep."

When he arrived at Dibé Nitsaa, Naayééʼ Neizghání saw an old woman walking slowly toward him, leaning on a staff. Her back was bent. Her hair was white. Her arms and hands were bony. "Old grandmother, I have come to kill you," he said. "I do you no harm, grandson," she replied. "Think it over before you kill me. Once the people discover that Są́ will no longer slowly sap their strength with the passing of years and finally devour them, they will have no children. It is better that people should pass on their wisdom and responsibilities to those who are younger, and finally die." "I will spare you," replied Naayééʼ Neizghání. And he returned without a trophy.

"Hakʼaz Asdzą́ą́, the Cold Woman, still lives," whispered Níłchʼi The Wind to Monster Slayer. "Each year she freezes the earth. She covers the streams with ice. She kills the plants so that the vines bear no melons and the stalks bear no corn." "Mother," demanded Naayééʼ Neizghání, tell me where I might find the dwelling of Hakʼaz Asdzą́ą́." Changing Woman refused to answer. But Níłchʼi, The Wind, whispered, "She lives high on the summet of Dibé Nitsaa, where the mountain sheep are." Monster Slayer traveled to Dibé Nitsaa and found a lean old woman sitting above the tree line without clothing, on the snow. No roof sheltered her. Her skin was pale as the snow. "Grandmother," said Monster Slayer," I am here to kill you." "You may kill me," said Cold Woman. "But once I am dead, it will always be hot on the earth. The land will dry up. The springs will cease to flow. Over the years the people will perish." Listening to her words, Naayééʼ Neizghání said, "I will spare you." And he returned without a trophy.

"Téʼéʼį́ Dineʼé, the Poverty Creatures, still live," whispered Níłchʼi into his ear. They destroy people by gradually using up possessions. They will leave no tools for anyone to use, and no clothing to wear." Monster Slayer asked Changing Woman where the Poverty Creatures dwelled, but she refused to tell him. "They live at Dził dah Neeztínii, the Roof Butte Mountain," said Níłchʼi. Naayééʼ Neizghání traveled there, and found a tattered old man and a filthy old woman. Their garments were in shreds, and in their house they had no goods. They had no food, no baskets, no bowls. "Grandmother, Grandfather," said Monster Slayer, "It gives me no pleasure, but I have come to kill you. Then people will not suffer from want." "Think a moment," they said. "If we were to die, people would not replace anything, or improve on their tools. By causing things to wear out, we lead people to invent new things. Garments become more beautiful. Tools become more useful. People appreciate what they have." Monster Slayer said, "What you say is true. I will spare you." And he returned without a trophy.

"Dichin Hastiin, Hunger Man, still exists," whispered Níłchʼi. "He lives at Tłʼoh adaasgaii, White Spot of Grass." When he arrived there, Naayééʼ Neizghání found twelve ravenous creatures who ate anything that grew. The largest of them was Dichin Hastiin. "I have come here to kill you," said Naayééʼ Neizghání. "Then people will not feel the pangs of hunger and they will not starve for want of food." "I do not blame you for wanting me dead," said Dichin Hastiin. "But if you kill us, people will lose their taste for food. They will never know the pleasure of cooking and eating. But if we live, they will continue to plant seeds and harvest crops, and they will remain skilled hunters." After hearing these words, Monster Slayer returned without a trophy.

When he returned home to his mother Changing Woman, he removed the sheath werein he carried the stone knife that his father Jóhonaaʼéí hataaʼ the Sun had given him. He realized that now his work was done. He sang: Now the enemy slayer arrives From the house of the jagged blades he arrives. From where the sharp knives hang he arrives And the treasures he has won are yours, oh you gods.


Without Evil we could not know Good, and without Good we could not know Evil. Take care what you wish for, Amos, for even Injun Joe and Boone Helm have their place!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:08 PM

Little Hawk:

Let me make this as simple as possible. Chongo is a figment, a vaporous image of imagination, endowed with whatever signfiicance you have elected for him to have, a transient bubble of temporary meaning spawned from your own perfervid imaginings.

His goodness or badness are alike matters if imaginary openion. Like a grade-schooler who argues whether Batman is better than Superman, the whole notion of merit, positive or negative, in real-world terms, is meaningless when applied to this fantabulous mock-up, or any other. In short, Chongo is a non-applicable ideation.

Because of this, he does not provide any actual substantive referent to any mind engaged on the consideration of real-plane dynamics, do you see? He cannot be "loved", "missed", "admired" or "hated" in the way that those terms apply to actual human feelings.

He can be readily compared to any other fictional scalawag, but only in the shallowest of ways, because he is, himself, only the shallowest of creatures, a wispy two-dimensional conjuring of no real significance.

I hope this makes it all perfectly clear, now, and we can get onto more serious forms of BS, such as discussing who is MMom's favorite.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 06:14 PM

God, I love the way you talk... ;-)


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