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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 10 Nov 12 - 11:03 PM
Acme 11 Nov 12 - 01:25 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 10:31 AM
Amos 11 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM
Amos 12 Nov 12 - 01:24 AM
Rapparee 12 Nov 12 - 08:40 AM
gnu 12 Nov 12 - 05:12 PM
Amos 12 Nov 12 - 05:51 PM
Little Hawk 12 Nov 12 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 12 - 06:43 PM
gnu 12 Nov 12 - 08:44 PM
Little Hawk 12 Nov 12 - 11:43 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 12:02 PM
Amos 13 Nov 12 - 12:33 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 12:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 12 - 09:05 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 14 Nov 12 - 08:55 PM
Acme 14 Nov 12 - 09:59 PM
Amos 15 Nov 12 - 11:15 AM
gnu 15 Nov 12 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 15 Nov 12 - 06:32 PM
gnu 15 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM
Rapparee 15 Nov 12 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 16 Nov 12 - 10:58 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Nov 12 - 11:53 AM
Amos 16 Nov 12 - 02:33 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Nov 12 - 02:36 PM
Little Hawk 16 Nov 12 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 16 Nov 12 - 10:59 PM
GUEST,Two-Tommy Tony 16 Nov 12 - 11:19 PM
Acme 17 Nov 12 - 12:55 AM
Little Hawk 17 Nov 12 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 17 Nov 12 - 09:50 AM
Amos 17 Nov 12 - 11:28 AM
Acme 17 Nov 12 - 11:52 AM
gnu 17 Nov 12 - 01:16 PM
Acme 17 Nov 12 - 03:44 PM
gnu 17 Nov 12 - 04:05 PM
Amos 17 Nov 12 - 08:40 PM
Little Hawk 17 Nov 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 12 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 18 Nov 12 - 10:53 AM
gnu 18 Nov 12 - 01:02 PM
Acme 18 Nov 12 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 12 - 09:24 PM
gnu 18 Nov 12 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 12 - 10:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 11:03 PM

Chonga, until you mentioned her name I'd never heard of her before. I can't keep up with all these Hollywood starlets and actresses and things.

I'm back from the dinner. Turns out the Friends of the NRA are 501(c)3 and sponsor things like firearms safety programs and hunter safety classes -- they're always under the eye of the IRS so they gotta be really, really careful not to get political. In fact, I don't think I heard the words "Obama", "gun control", or anything like that all evening. The four-year-old girl at our table DID want the fancy-schmancy gold-plated rifle that was on display, but she had a red rubber cobra so it all worked out okay.

No, I didn't win any guns in a raffle or anything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 01:25 AM

Do these folks know that you're arming librarians? And teaching them how to shoot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:31 AM

Maybe I can get a grant!!! This could go nationwide!

"Lissen, punk, and lissen up good. I'm a LIBRARIAN. Go on, make my day."

"Yes officer, that man came into the bank and started shooting. But it worked out okay, because fortunately Cindy Lou, the Reference Librarian, was here. HE won't be bothering us anymore!"

Oh, the people at the public service desks would love it! And catalogers:

"Waddayamean, you think it's cataloged wrong? You better smile when you say that, pardner."

Library directors:

"So you think that it was rude of the clerk at the circulation desk to make you wait in line to check out this book and now you object to the book being in the library at all. Well, I object to your face!"

"Mindy, I hate to do this, but I've warned you and warned you that you MUST pick up your brass after dealing with a patron. We're not made of money and maintenance has to reload our ammo. I'm afraid I'll have to let you have it."

Or Kiddy Litters:

"That was just a warning, kid, to keep quiet during Story Hour. Next time I'll do more than just clip your ear."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM

I think arms for librarians is an excellent idea. Otherwise how could they move the books around?

Guns, not so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 12:35 PM

Amos, you obviously have never worked a public desk in a public or any other library.

Let's see know: stolen things, from gum to coats to purses to almost anything not tied, nailed, and welded down; leaky diapers; being loudly told to your face that you're a "lying son of bitch" after you've spent an hour digging up the information someone wanted and didn't agree with; puking patrons; heart attacks (and you're yelled at for calling 911); people who stink; transgenders, dressed as men, who want to use the ladies' room; drunks of every description; being cussed at because you won't let someone use the phone to call their friend in Honolulu; child abusers; exhibitionists; racial supremacists of every shade; fights, from kids to adults with knives; bomb threats and actual bombs; mentally ill folks who are off their meds and frightening you and others; homeless people who ask for help and then won't take it; beggars going from person to person; "studs" hitting on everyone who takes their fancy; child sexual abusers; extremely amorous teens and older...library workers see and experience it all if they work in a library for any length of time. And they still smile and go about their business of assisting you.

Do know that some librarians (public and academic) have full-time cops stationed there? Can you guess why? --hint: it's not to control the kids at pre-school story hour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM

Mom, get back up there and stop consorting with those tacky political threads down near the bottom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 01:24 AM

Your own pre-determined bias in this matter is well known. How about the sweet lady librarian Eiseley that you left behind--does hse pack heat on the job?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 08:40 AM

No, she packs what she called her "cooler." As in, "I think I'll cool him off -- permanently." Not wanting to scare the children with loud noises she uses a custom made, silenced, .45 ACP made for her by Kimber firearms. Being small it only holds three rounds, but she's never needed more than one because she never misses. She graduated from Library School Magnum Bang Loudly because of her skill with her handgun,
and is a member of Banger Pfft You, the Library Science honors fraternity for those who demonstrate both academic excellence and outstanding marksmanship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 05:12 PM

The NRA is all over safe handling of weapons. So are the governments of the world but that just depends whose side you are on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 05:51 PM

I have always been on the side of librarians, for the good they do. I would defend them against any muck or scum that wandered in, if I were on site at the time. Actually I am glad Eiseley has a banger. It adds dimension to her impeccable nature.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 06:24 PM

Holy crap! I'm glad our Canadian libraries aren't like yours, Rap! (although, yes, some of those problems do arise now and then...but it sounds like you're in what could almost be called a war zone...)

The worst thing the Blind River library has had to deal with, generally, was Shane trying to log into porn sites on their computers. He's been banned for life. He plans to fake his own death soon, so he can get back in....

Don's latest girlfriend, Jill, has also set up her laptop computer so Shane can't use it. She uses a secret Password. He has tried about 500 different passwords he made up to try and get past the startup, but they've all failed. Don has advised Shane that if he gets mad and busts Jill's computer, he'll be in VERY deep shit, so it hasn't happened yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 06:43 PM

To bad Shame doesn't have an email address. I could send him a password cracker program. You just insert the disk and the program automatically tries the most likely combinations and if that doesn't work uses a "brute force" program. Never has taken longer than an hour, and that includes numbers and "special characters."

Of course, it could be a "word" derived from a phrase, such as "Shame sucks ditch water through a dirty Dixie straw" would become "SsdwtadDs". Or the password could be derived from all sorts of other sources, none of which would occur to Shame because quite frankly he has a tough time walking and breathing at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 08:44 PM

Just dunno if you have (n)ever heard this guy.

Oh, and it's Danny B'Hoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 11:43 PM

Wonderful!!! LOL!!! He's a grrrreat comedian!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:02 PM

MOM, I have to cook, can, or freeze a big tub of eggplant and a bucket full of peppers. We picked them yesterday in advance of a cold front that froze out the plants last night. Baba ghanoush, anyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:33 PM

I really like him. Stilly, send him some aubergines!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:45 PM

d'accord!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:05 PM

Wouldn't it be better if she sent him eggplant instead of oldbluejeans?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:39 PM

These are young purple 'gines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 08:55 PM

Poor old Mom. Nobody cared enough to post today except me, way out in the wilds of Far Northwestern Illinois. Second from the bottom, she was, ready to flushed away like some old piece of upchuck. Well, I've saved her from A Fate Worse Than Death, to whit, oblivion.

Y'all can thank me by sending large amounts of cash (US dollars only please, no checks).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 09:59 PM

MOM was fine. She was re-reading The Grapes of Wrath an wanted to experience some hardship to put her in the mood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 11:15 AM

SOrry, Mom. I was back in LA. My son and I moved everything he owns from his storage unit to his apartment and didn't finish until 6 pm./ Then we went out for burgers and I drove back to San Diego and crashed around 11. Exhausting, but very productive day. The last trip was a hoot--navigating through rush hour traffic with queensize mattress and bedspring strapped down to the roof of the car like a Romney pup. But we pulled it off and he is happily established a couple of blocks from Beverly Hills and bicycle distance fr5om work. Yay, team.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 02:26 PM

"like a Romney pup"... hahahahahaa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 06:32 PM

You callin' my buddy Mitt names? Huh? Are ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM

Ya mean Mitt tha twit piece a shit?

Yeah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 10:44 PM

Yeah. Mind you, I was just checking. I don't really like him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 10:58 AM

Once again I must pull Mom from the muck and mire! There was a large "SHHHHHHHHHHURRRRRRRLLLLLP-POP" sound and now, for some strange reason, I can hear and see better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 11:53 AM

That was the sound of one of my "agents" firin' a juju dart gun atcha, Rap. The dart has obviously hit home, cos you are now experiencin' the first symptoms caused by the special jungle juice that we coat them darts with. Yer eyesight and hearin' improves, but yer mouth gets a bit dry...so ya gotta have a drink soon. Preferably a drink with high acohol content. Do NOT eat peanuts for the next 24 hours! If you do, all yer hair will fall out and yer "coconuts" will shrivel up and drop off. Within a day or two you will begin to notice personality changes. You will develop a deep desire to apologize fully to all those you might have offended by careless statements, unfair personal characterizations, and specist utterances. This desire will not only drive ya to apologize, but to send gifts of money and fresh fruit to them folks you have offended in the past. Then you will realize that yer true purpose in life is to help establish species equality and you will rush out to join the APP or some similar organization that is workin' for species' rights.

The effects are irreversible, but don't worry! You'll be a better person soon and you'll be livin' a happier and far more useful life.

- Chongo

p.s. We would do this favor for Amos too, only he don't deserve it, and we don't want him. So too bad for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 02:33 PM

Wait....what? I am missing out on the change to be transformed as a human being by an imaginary secret agent working for an imaginary talking chimp who was imagined to have dreamed up the second-derivative agent, who uses imaginary weapons coated with imaginary chemicals to achieve results of debatable value? And I MISSED it? "I am..."...let me see...heartbroken? shattered? cast down? ruined? completely fucked up? Hmmmmm...Aha!!   

"...rendered stunningly indifferent! by this awful news."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 02:36 PM

See, Rap? He's incorrigible, just like I said. He don't deserve any help we could possibly give him. As to what he does deserve, I could go into that some...but not without usin' really coarse language...and that would not be polite.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 08:39 PM

Amos - "rendered stunningly indifferent"   LOL!!! Sounds like the teenage girls who work at some of the fast food places in town. They are soooo..."whatever...".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 10:59 PM

Chonga, I have just mailed LH a big box of durian fruit and also, just so he also gets his roughage, skunk cabbage. It should arrive in a couple of weeks or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Two-Tommy Tony
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 11:19 PM

Lousy chimps. Gonna take 'em all out. Chimp killed my brother, see? Liked 'em before that, but a chimp killed my brother. I'm gonna pay 'em back. Lousy chimps. Buncha damned monkeys is all they are. They're gonna pay and pay big for killin' my brother. Lousy chimps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 12:55 AM

Heck with the chimps. It's Friday! Kick back, pull the tab, slurp a beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 09:20 AM

No, it isn't! It's Saturday. Get with the script.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 09:50 AM

I'M going to go to a U of Illinois football game today with my brother and two nephews! My niece supplied the tickets and parking pass (about a $400 value)! And their record for this year is TWO WINS and only eight losses! When I left Pocatello Idaho State University's record was 1 win and 10 losses, so it's going to be nice to see a winning team for a change. Illinois is playing Purdue, and as I said, it'll be nice to see a winning team for change.





P.S.: I don't really like football.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 11:28 AM

Seems to me you see a winning team every time you go to a game, no? Isn't that the whole point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 11:52 AM

I was on my Central Standard Time clock, despite Max's EST time stamp.

Lovely day, must go pull out dead stuff in the garden. Anyone want the veggies I find in the wilted leaves that I missed picking right before the frost? Use them fast, they look pretty good, they're just a little soft.

Hmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 01:16 PM

When I read "nice to see a winning team for a change" I nearly spit my tea. The joke re Purdue paled in comparison, even tho it was good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 03:44 PM

MOM MOAB has been featured in a discussion on the facebook.mudcat side of things, so be on your best behavior! Don't let the guys from the Legion Hovel take them out for firearms practice and best to keep the duckdog out of the house for the time being.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 04:05 PM

Are we gonna get faced?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 08:40 PM

It's a face-off. People are making face-off book on the outcome. But as I always say, better to face off than to fuck off, no?

In any case this face-off will be one for the face-off-books.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 12 - 09:47 PM

Oh, dear! What if we lose face???? (worry, fret...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 12:29 AM

I washed my face so it looks nice and shiny.

Purdue 20, U of IL 17. Last home game of the season. It had all the charm of watching a plugged septic tank drain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 10:53 AM

"Get up, Big Brother! It's time to cringe from another day!" -- Sally, in "Peanuts", to Charlie Brown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 01:02 PM

Sounds like an exciting game to me. AND, I thought Purdue would kick their footballs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 01:06 PM

We're getting ready for an exciting game in the back yard. I found an old but compete croquet set a few weeks ago at a thrift store, and I have printed up the rules. Now if I can set up the game in such a way that the dogs leave the balls alone. Mallets are not to be used on dogs, just balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 09:24 PM

And, when my mother wasn't watching, unaware siblings...but never ever on the head because that might break the mallet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 10:07 PM

I LOVE croquettes! Soooo tastey. Especially scallops, my fav.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 12 - 10:12 PM

You mean croquettes with little half-circles cut in the edges?


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