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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 02:36 PM
Amos 23 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 02:46 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 03:49 PM
Amos 23 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 06 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 09:25 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 09:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 10:26 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Mar 06 - 11:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Mar 06 - 12:07 AM
Amos 24 Mar 06 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 24 Mar 06 - 08:55 AM
Acme 24 Mar 06 - 10:24 AM
Amos 24 Mar 06 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 06 - 09:39 PM
Acme 24 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM
Amos 25 Mar 06 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 06 - 10:39 AM
Amos 25 Mar 06 - 11:24 AM
Acme 25 Mar 06 - 10:52 PM
Amos 26 Mar 06 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 26 Mar 06 - 01:00 PM
Rustic Rebel 26 Mar 06 - 05:26 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 06 - 05:37 PM
Acme 26 Mar 06 - 07:02 PM
Acme 26 Mar 06 - 10:03 PM
Amos 26 Mar 06 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 06 - 08:36 AM
Acme 27 Mar 06 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 06 - 11:46 AM
Acme 27 Mar 06 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 06 - 12:21 PM
Amos 27 Mar 06 - 01:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 06 - 03:09 PM
Amos 27 Mar 06 - 11:07 PM
Acme 27 Mar 06 - 11:41 PM
MMario 28 Mar 06 - 08:22 AM
JennyO 28 Mar 06 - 08:55 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 06 - 08:58 AM
MMario 28 Mar 06 - 08:59 AM
Amos 28 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM
MMario 28 Mar 06 - 11:42 AM
Acme 28 Mar 06 - 11:45 AM
Acme 28 Mar 06 - 04:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:36 PM

I don't have a carpet. That gray-green stuff is mold, dirt, hair, bits of food and even less appetizing things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM

Ole Gluon had to quark,
So he chose a likely place
And he quarked his last three bosons
In Rapaire's sleeping face.
Rapaire woke up disgusted,
And started in to shout
'Cuz every time that he stands up,
Bosons come trickling out!

Quark, quark, the Duck Dog barks
Don't let him in at night
'Cuz if he slughs his Charm on you
You never will look right!

Now Rapaire, he glows in darkness
And he sizzles like a bomb
Those sub-atomic particles
Have made him yell for Mom.
He want's that dog disfigured!
And put right down for keeps!
Since Quark the duck-dog spewed him
With those bosons in his sleep!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:46 PM

Amos...that's the..nicest thing anybody's ever said...about me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM

Sounds like Rapaire and Amos have been drinking from the same well. Or eating from the same healthy meal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 03:49 PM

Who, oh who, shall be number 11,700?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM

Rapaire, probably. He goes in for that kind of thing.... :D

You're welcome, ol' Sib. I'm just here to keep you on the qui vive, ya know!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 07:58 PM

I'll save you, Mom! Less than 23 hours and you would have fallen right off the page!

Now, if you're going out, don't forget your mittens and galoshes. And stay away from birds because they might have bird flu. And stay away from cats because a cat might have eaten a bird with bird flu. And stay away from Gluon because he's sick and keeps quarking everywhere. He might have the bird flu too.

Yes, Mom, we know you're a big girl, but we worry so about you.

What? No, Mom, but my daughter's fiance' is.

No, Mom, I don't know if they're going to have the wedding in a synagogue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:25 PM

That's so nice, Bee-Dubya. I like to see young folks getting married these days, instead of just shacking up together. Well, come to think of it, shacking up together is nice too and I like to see young folks today shacking up together, too. In fact, I'd like to go on record as liking to see old folks getting married/shacking up together as well as young folks shacking up together/getting married.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:46 PM

But do you want MOM MOAB shacking up? I bet you sing a different song there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:47 PM

Stilly, I want Mom to be happy, don't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM

It don't matter if they're married or shacked up or whatever as long as they spend plenty of time screwin'. Why? 'Cause it's real hard for people to do lots of obnoxious things if they're busy screwin'. Things like startin' wars and blowin' theyselves up an' tryin' t' save people's souls when they don't wanna be saved. An' startin' copycat threads, an' bitchin' about people startin' copycat threads, an' bitchin' about people bitchin' about people startin' copycat threads ad infinitum.

In the immortal words of some-damned-body but I don't know whom, "Fuck more. Bitch less."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 10:17 PM

I lived with my (now) ex for eight years before we got married. We lasted for another 12 years (but two of those I slept on a cot in the back room). It's better when we're not married.

It's up to MOM, but just don't sign over any checks to the guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM

You're "doing pot" again, aren't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 10:26 PM

you talking to BWL?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 11:06 PM

I know pot,
she says she hasn't been done in awhile.

But I like that. Bee-dub can make a pot and then, make it. He can make a pot in any shape he wants I suppose. So I hope he makes a pot to fit okay, otherwise he might could be in trouble and fuck it and bitch at the same time.

just be calm and the swelling will eventually go down...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 12:07 AM

I'm always doing pot. In fact, I'm having to stay up beyond my normal bedtime to babysit a kiln full of pots right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 08:52 AM

Kiln baby pots? Isn't that illegal?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 08:55 AM

Not in Floribama and the pots are over 13. It's also nice if the pots aren't related to you, but if they are it's not illegal, just winked at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 10:24 AM

BWL, be careful down there in Floribama once those pots cool. With spring it's snake season and they're looking for a pot to hiss in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 06:37 PM

I got the answer, after all this so-called time. It iis "evanescent waves". I want to know if they PAY someone to coe up with these remarkable phrases.

"For every burst of sound, there must exist a sound that bursts in reverse, according to the theory of time reversal acoustics. From their discoveries of some surprising characteristics of mediums and frequencies, scientists have gained insight into acoustic time reversal, which could impact applications such as sending confidential messages in cryptography.

Time-reversed focusing is based on the fact that when a wave is played backwards in time, wavelengths will retrace their paths. Although theoretically the overlap should be exact, the actual time reversal mirrors (TRMs) that play back the waves can not "catch" every frequency of the original wave. Scientists know that some media allow acoustic time reversal to occur with higher resolution than other media, and recently physicists from the University of Paris have discovered how disordered and ordered media affect this resolution.

In a study published in Physical Review Letters, physicists A. Tourin, F. Van Der Biest and M. Fink have found that, while sound waves traveling through a disordered medium can focus with high precision, waves traveling through an ordered medium do not have the same ability to focus. The team was also surprised to discover that for a certain type of wave called evanescent waves, an ordered medium exhibits better time compression than a disordered medium. "

'Course waves don't play backwards in time -- if you play an LP backwards, you get to the beginning later than when you were at the end. So maybe they never tried the "Paul is Dead" number when they were kids. Or forgot, or something.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 09:39 PM

I left work early today. I've had a cough, and I've just added diarrhea to it. I feel shitty, but I am getting my jogging in. Could this be the result of effervescent waves or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM

If you're treading the same path I took, Rapaire, get used to it, you have another week to go. This was one horrid bug. I felt really bad for most of 14 days.

Oooooo--one of the Google ads has to do with "scary subliminal messages."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:05 AM

One must assume that an evanescent wave is one that is only a wave for a short period of "time" before collapsing into a disordered Eigenstate--a system with a definite value that is the result of a quantum entanglement collapse. , wouldn't you say?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:39 AM

It appears to me that Chaos mathematics might be a key to an explanation of a disordered Eigenstate. I'm unaware that such mathematics have been applied to Quantum Mechanics and quantum phenomena, but given the speed of information release vs. the speed of gathering information it has probably been done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 11:24 AM

Yes, it has. But I don't know where I ran across the information, so I can't give you alink just now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:52 PM

You were gone so long looking for that link that MOM was just three hours from the bottom. Whew!

Beat that Brown Noser Rapaire to the rescue. . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 10:30 AM

Last one to the post is a rotten egg!!

Am not!!

Are too!!

Am not!!!

ARE TOOOO!!!!


M-O-O-O-O-O-O-MMMMmmmmmm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 01:00 PM

Speaking of Chaos Mathematics, I have to do my business expenses for the taxes.

It dropped 25 degree here last night in one hour, between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. 78 mph winds pushed through, 44,000 were/are without power, and three inches of snow fell. The temp drop wasn't all that great, but the weather folks didn't predict the snow or wind. We lost power for a total of about 10 minutes. Others weren't quite so fortunate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 05:26 PM

Did you know that thanks to the intricate design, ruffled feathers can be restored?
Did you know that a ribbon or rosette made of feathers are called cockade?
A feather on a hat is called a panache.

The feather-
Extending from the central rachis are barbs made of hundreds of barbules, which hook into the adjacent ones, which are all on the shaft.
The hollow main shaft is a quill, calamus, rachis, barrel or scape- whichever your choice would be.

An egret's tail feather, which was widely used as a plume on a hat is an aigrette. Feathers being plumage. Feathers on a birds ears like an owl are called auriculars, and around their necks- the ruff or frill.

Any of those large curved feathers you see on the little red rooster-that left the barnyard which resulted in no peace, is called a sickle feather, any of the stiff flight tail feathers are rectrix, while on the wing-remex.

Birds preen their feathers. They ruffle their feathers. They molt their feathers.

And with a final note-feathers can be used for various sex games of which I have never taken a part in.


Glad to hear your okay Rapaire- no electric on cold days really is no fun- you would maybe have to find some feathers to stay warm......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 05:37 PM

Or sex games. Or both. Fortunately, our main furnace is gas. Unfortunately, it needs electricity for the blower. Which is why every house we've lived in has (or we put in) some form of wood-burning heat. Since Pat has no thyroid, the cold can really affect her and so I'll do whatever I can to prevent her from getting too cold. That's also why she doesn't do winter camping (skiing is okay).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 07:02 PM

We who participate on this thread, are, of course, birds of a feather.

Wattle RR think of next?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 10:03 PM

Howcome lately I come back after launching a great pun and found no one has been there to groan about it. Geez.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 11:06 PM

We were too busy flocking together, Stilly. You know how that goes...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 08:36 AM

I don't got no time for no flockin' puns. I went to sleep early and was too busy feathering my rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 10:15 AM

If you're still feeling that crud you probably feel like you have a bird's nest stuck in your sinuses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 11:46 AM

This cold/cough thing really sticks in my craw. I've pretty much given up trying to cure it and have decided to wing it instead. Maybe if I just get on with life it will take flight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 12:13 PM

I know the feeling. It's still there in the background, and this is the third week. I've spoken with people who feel not quite back to themselves after two months. Yuck!

I did get the lawn mowed this weekend, though, and it didn't throw me into a feverish faint or anything like that. (It was essential--my tall grass last year was apparently an invitation to burglars to come on in 'cause no one was home. So it was aggravating to let the lawn get so tall again while I was recuperating. I didn't want to leave while it looked so untended for fear I come back from some errand and find things missing again.) Even Quark hanging around couldn't prevent that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 12:21 PM

The three inches of unexpected snow we received on Saturday night is melting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 01:41 PM

Here at Sunnybrook, the bright and balmy Spring days continue to bathe usin sunligth and gentle sea-breezes from the nearby Pacific. They meander up the canyons and bathe the neighborhoods with moisture early in the morning, and with warm salty airs the rest of the day.

Today it is apleasant 68 degrees F. outside, and cargo shorts are seen in the land on every buttock. I wear my Tivas to work. Life is good.

Yesterday we went to the zoo in the late afternoon and took pictures up close of a giant black jaguar, a fuzzy Koala, a number of strange critters of the Cat family, and a school chum who showe dup unexpectedly. We saw trained macaws and sea lions and all kinds of monkeys.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 03:09 PM

Shucks, Amos, iffen I want to see all that all I gotta do is look out at the folks usin' the place. Don't need no zoo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 11:07 PM

You aint got no black jaguars in your liberry, Rapaire, nor Koalas either. I do believe, however, that the strangest animals on exhibit in the vast and renowned San Diego Zoo are the many variants of biped, hominem plasticus, who gather there around the Churro and Slurpee stands to feed their young in noisy flocks.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 11:41 PM

Okay, Rapaire, get out your list of things you need in your library, and ad hominem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:22 AM

Rapaire may not have no jaguars nor koalas in his library - but if you count the tuxedo pather we got the panther, other odd cats, koala, panda, wolf, a four foot rabbit and a black bear in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:55 AM

Must be nearly time for bed here! My bleary eyes saw "black beer in the house". Thanks - don't mind if I do (_)

And the four foot rabbit - is that Harvey's little brother?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:58 AM

I do have an old Black Panther who comes in every now and then. Nice guy.

Here's a nice thing for you:



Men, try to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.

When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for the extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she stated working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I say this gently. I like to think tact is one of my strong points

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...

Ron


EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on March 26. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his backside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:59 AM

We think he's from the visible side of the family. He's our butler. I should get some pictures up as you all probably think I'm fibbing. But I have mudcatters who would vouch for me, as they have been in the house. Don't think they met the Panda, the wolf or the koala, but know they met the rabbit, the bear and the panther.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM

We think he's from the visible side of the family.

Hmmm...this implies, of course that the OTHER side of your family is invisible or ethereal or trascendental. And since "side of the family" implies lineage through one or the other of two parents, you seem to be saying that your parents were one mortal, and one ethereal or invisible -- perhaps a holy ghost, or a visiting Olympian figure, or an alien from another dimension, or an aery sprite of some sort out to do mischief and spread seed among other realms?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 11:42 AM

Amos - you need to have the prescription on your reading brain cells eyes glasses checked.

We are talking about the 4 foot rabbit who is our family butler. though he is an excellent emplyee, he is *not* related to me. However we do believe he *may* be related to Harvey (of stage and screen fame) but on the visible side of the family. Harvey of course, being a poookah, does fit your description. Astaire (the rabbit) being visible seems to have more mortal then immortal about him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 11:45 AM

Harvey was six feet tall. That 4 foot rabbit may be an immature invisible Pooka rabbit, or another variety altogether.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 04:09 PM

Sitting here all by yourself, Mom?


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