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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:15 AM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 03:34 AM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 03:35 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 05:46 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:11 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:33 AM
GUEST,Thoroughly PO'd Grace 27 Oct 06 - 09:35 AM
Acme 27 Oct 06 - 09:41 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM
Bunnahabhain 27 Oct 06 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 11:22 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 12:05 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 12:24 PM
MMario 27 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 12:34 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 01:14 PM
Acme 27 Oct 06 - 02:17 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 02:22 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Oct 06 - 05:39 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 12:52 AM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM
GUEST,MOM 28 Oct 06 - 10:10 AM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 12:21 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Oct 06 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:28 PM
Acme 29 Oct 06 - 12:41 AM
Acme 29 Oct 06 - 01:52 AM
GUEST,rumanci 29 Oct 06 - 06:58 AM
Bunnahabhain 29 Oct 06 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 06 - 09:28 AM
Bunnahabhain 29 Oct 06 - 10:13 AM
Bill D 29 Oct 06 - 02:08 PM
Amos 29 Oct 06 - 02:55 PM
Amos 29 Oct 06 - 03:25 PM
Amos 29 Oct 06 - 08:18 PM
Acme 29 Oct 06 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 06 - 09:18 PM
Amos 29 Oct 06 - 09:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

Others too may stake their claim
Blow-ins wanting fleeting fame
Cheating, as they write one word
Or a number, so I've heard


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

But mother knows her children who
Will work and slave to bring to you
BS whose quality is high
Though unworthy - is it I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

I've been known to raise your head
And lend to you my sofa bed
With cups of cocoa, movies too
Tell me Mother - will this do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:15 AM

14700!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 03:34 AM

Grammatically correct would have been,
"Though unworthy,is it me?' - one only
says 'and I' when followed by a verb.
NALOPKT.




    ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 03:35 AM

14702 !!!!!!!!!!! Oh,yes.





    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:46 AM

Ah yes Ivor, I do know that, but the verb (or phrase) "that will get the 14700th post" can be implied after "I".

Anyway, "I" rhymes with "high", so there :-)

*goes off muttering* BLOODY PEDANTS!!......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:11 AM

I?
High!


There. A Perfect poem. Perfect scansion, perfect rhyme, and all from a perfect poet.

See our tearful little Grace
With a shadow on her face,
Like the sunny, April skies
Clouded are here azure eyes;
All because it rains to-day
And she can't get out to play.


                  Ibid., p. 177


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:29 AM

Oh? Who wrote it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:33 AM

Well, (ahem!) I wrote the first one, the perfect one. The second one (which should have "her eyes" and not "here eyes") is unattributed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thoroughly PO'd Grace
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:35 AM

I wrote that one !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:41 AM

Takes me back, that Burl Ives snippet. And since I have Spybot Search&Destroy in place, it only takes me back in memory, it doesn't let Real Player also take me back to when Real was my default clip player. Damned little program tried to change my registry while Burl was singing. It had managed to take over another time and even set things up so my Windows Media Player wouldn't load. How's that for a nasty little usurper?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM

Autolycus' pedantry is misplaced. "It is I" is perfectly correct when the implied ('...who (verbal element)') can be inferred from context.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM

Furthermore, Rapaire's claim to being a perfect poet, based on his two-word poem, is misplaced. While his two words qualify him as a good rhymester, there is nothing poetic about the sentiment thus expressed, or the construction used to express it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM

What Knight is this so weak and pale,
Though the locks are yet brown on his noble head,
Propt on pillows in his bed,
Gazing seaward for the light
Of some ship that fights the gale
On this wild December night?
Over the sick man's feet is spread
A dark green forest-dress;
A gold harp leans against the bed,
Ruddy in the fire's light.
I know him by his harp of gold,
Famous in Arthur's court of old;
I know him by his forest-dress--
The peerless hunter, harper, knight,
Tristram of Lyoness.

What Lady is this, whose silk attire
Gleams so rich in the light of the fire?
The ringlets on her shoulders lying
In their flitting lustre vying
With the clasp of burnish'd gold
Which her heavy robe doth hold.
Her looks are mild, her fingers slight
As the driven snow are white;
But her cheeks are sunk and pale.
Is it that the bleak sea-gale
Beating from the Atlantic sea
On this coast of Brittany,
Nips too keenly the sweet flower?

Is it that a deep fatigue
Hath come on her, a chilly fear,
Passing all her youthful hour
Spinning with her maidens here,
Listlessly through the window-bars
Gazing seawards many a league,
From her lonely shore-built tower,
While the knights are at the wars?
Or, perhaps, has her young heart
Felt already some deeper smart,
Of those that in secret the heart-strings rive,
Leaving her sunk and pale, though fair?
Who is this snowdrop by the sea?--
I know her by her mildness rare,
Her snow-white hands, her golden hair;
I know her by her rich silk dress,
And her fragile loveliness--
The sweetest Christian soul alive,
Iseult of Brittany.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 11:01 AM

The criticism of Rapiere's poetry is very harsh. After all, what is poetry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 11:22 AM

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,        
Alone and palely loitering?        
Tho' others frolic by the lake
And beer is outpouring?

II.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!        
So laggard and so out-of-sorts?        
The tavern's barrels are quite full,        
And they're quaffing it in snorts.

III.

I see a Wilde lily on thy brow        
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on thy "cheeks" a fading rose:        
A recently acquired tatto.        

IV.

I met a lady in her mead,        
Full beautiful?a faery's child,        
Her hair was long, her foot was light,        
And boy! was she ever wild.        

V.

She had a garland for her head,        
And bracelets too, and a fragrant zone;        
She look'd at me as we did love,        
And made sweet moan.              

VI.

She found me jars of relish sweet,              
And pickles dill, and Tullamore dew,        
And sure in language strange she said?        
"Let's get it on a time or two."        

VII.

She took me to her elfin grot,        
And since I've wept, and peed full sore,              
And the Clinic cannot cure my pox
In less than weekes four.        

VII.I

And I dream of when I might urinate,        
And not scream, tho' woe betide!        
The latest drugs they give to me
In arm, IV, and side.        

X.

And this is why I sojourn here,              
Alone and palely loitering,        
Though other frolic by the lake,        
With beer outpouring.        

          L. A. D. Unoperro, Frisky Frolicsome Poesy (Chicago:
             Frisky Frolicsome Press, 1807)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:05 PM

Wow, Rapaire. That is such a DRAMATIC improvement!! One would think you had somehow absorbed the instincts of a master all of a sudden.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:24 PM

I would think this was generated by a MOABitye, except that it was published in the New Science magazine:

"In everyday life, of course, locality is a given. You're over there, I'm over here; neither of us is anywhere else. Even in Einstein's theory of relativity, where distances and timescales can change depending on an observer's reference frame, an object's location in space-time is precisely defined. What Susskind is saying, however, is that locality in this classical sense is a myth. Nothing is what, or rather, where it seems.

This is more than just a mind-bending curiosity. It tells us something new about the fundamental workings of the universe. Strange as it may sound, the fate of an elephant in a black hole has deep implications for a "theory of everything" called quantum gravity, which strives to unify quantum mechanics and general relativity, the twin pillars of modern physics. Because of their enormous gravity and other unique properties, black holes have been fertile ground for researchers developing these ideas."...



I have never thought of locality as a given. I am sure I have been anywhere at all, usually elsewhere, at most times, and certainly at the best times. It's a knack I have for missing out on them, at least when they are local.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM

Has anyone ever seen Rapaire and this Susskind person at the same time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:34 PM

Poetry is the spontaneous overflow
of powerful feeling.(Wordsworth).
Therefore verse nis not.

    Ooetry is what gets lost in
translation. (attrib.Frost)




    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 01:14 PM

Frost is mistaken about ooetry. It is the art of producing perfectly matched eggs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 02:17 PM

Nothin' goes to waste around here. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 02:22 PM

Unoperro must have been one of Gluon's ancestors. I notice he counts in quantum leaps.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:39 PM

When Moab starts jumping up and down by halfs and thirds, then we'll know for sure...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM

Picky, picky. I guess it is part of your charm, huh? :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM

I had a sister Sally, she was younger than I am
Had so many sweethearts she had to deny them,
But as for sister Sarah, you know she hasn't many
And if you knew her heart she'd b....

What am I doing? I don't have sisters named Sally and Sarah. I have one sister and neither of those is her name. Of course, one of my brothers might have "switched" but I probably would have heard if he had.

Lessee.

I had a brother Sally, he was younger than I am
Had so many sweethearts he had to deny them

Nah, somethings missing there too. Let's just forget the whole thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 12:52 AM

And if you knew her heart, she'd be grateful for any.
Chorus:
Come a lands man, a pins man, a tinker or a tailor;
doctor, a lawyer, soldier, or sailor.
A rich man, a poor man, a fool or a witty,
don't let her die an old maid but take her out of pity.

We had a sister Sally, she was ugly and misshapen.
By the time she was sixteen years old she was taken.
By the time she was eighteen, a son and a daughter.
Sarah's almost twenty-nine, never had an offer.

Chorus

She never would be scoldin'. She never would be jealous.
Her husband would have money to go to the alehouse.
He was there a-spendin'. She'd be home a-savin'
and I leave it up to you if she is not worth havin'.




Kinda like Mom, in her way, eh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM

That went over like a paper of lead pins, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOM
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:10 AM

I'm not in the habit of getting up in the middle of the night to see what you boys are up to.

Very nice, Amos. Very nice. Now eat your pancakes and don't drip syrup all over the table.

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 11:44 AM

That is SOOOO Mom-like. Anyone who was being rational would see that the syrup is only in a few, well-defined, precise locations on the table. Actually, less than an estimated 2.8% of the overall available surface area of the table, counting only the top of the table. So it is hardly accurate to say I have been "dripping syrup all over the table:, Mom!


(Wisenheimer kid!!! SHMECK!@!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 12:21 PM

It is quilt club day here.

Pray for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 01:27 PM

For some filling food, so to avoid snacking, I will eat the table, and so I want the syrup to add flavour...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 02:59 PM

A high-fiber diet is good for you and as an additional benefit you don't need toothpicks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:26 PM

Mom wasn't there!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:27 PM

Mom also seems to have lost about 5,000 posts....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:28 PM

More than 6,000, actually....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 12:41 AM

We were over 14,700! What happened?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 01:52 AM

Okay. Serious business here. Two threads show Mom has lost a lot of weight today, down to 8071 from near 14,700. I tried the "printable view" trick and 14,642 posts appear. Despite fact that earlier research appeared to have everything there ready to read in an instant, it takes a long time for the whole thing to load.

The REAL TEST was to try to "SAVE" dear mother to a file somewhere. Nearly gagged IE several times. There is now a file on my desktop that is 9.7 meg in size, an IE file, with the printable view of MOM MOAB. And out of a perverted sense of curiousity, I further gagged my computer by doing a "select all" on the printable view and doing a "paste" manuver into Word. The poor thing is STILL writing to the file, and it is up to 1226 pages. (There's no way in Hell I'm gonna run a spellcheck on this thing when it finishes!) It saved the table formatting and narrow margins so it is a rather spendthrift form of storage. I'm going to go take a shower, and when I come back, I'll see if it has finished so I can turn off the computer.

The things we'll do for MOM. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,rumanci
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 06:58 AM

MOM
MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !!!!

STOP dieting
your cheek bones might look fantastic
but you are a mere shadow of yourself
:-(


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 09:20 AM

That is dedicated of you Stilly. It's such a good idea, I may be forced to steal it.

Yesterday, when I was trying to get in, I got a couple of Max's other sites. This makes me think the server was playing silly buggers of some form or other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 09:28 AM

When Mom's ready Stilly, print it out so we'll have a hard copy. You'll want to do this at least once a week.

Editing it for spelling and grammar would be appreciated, too.

I've noted this weight loss in the Mudcat Help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 10:13 AM

Moab currently comes to roughly 4700 standard pages, containing 5.5 million characters....


There must be something worthwhile in that lot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 02:08 PM

There must be something worthwhile in that lot!

"if an infinite number of monkeys...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 02:55 PM

Bill,

There is nothing infinite about the people who post here, except the natural spiritual infinity that resides within each of us. Nor is there anything simian about any of them, except the 99.8% of their DNA which we share with the other branches of the chimp family. Once you come to understand the power of True BS, you will realize that this apparently chaotic concatenation of chaff is actually the symphonic realization of greatness in its purest form, and that to one who has traveled the road, All Knowledge is BS, and All BS is Truth.

These postulates will not make sense to one who has not traveled The Road. They are perceptions that come as the result of a Passage, a hero's journey through the Veil of Plausible Rationaity.


(And THEN he looked up and said calmly...)

"Monkeys disguised as people climb over the stockade, flapdoodling amongst the provisions and chittering under moonrise. Mist curls through the gunports, the flintlocks are sparkling in the moonlight, but their pans are moist with night dew, and they will not fire. Squirrels have eaten the fuses, the powder room has been devastated by ducks, the pikes eaten through by roving beavers, and the scabbards grown shut with lichen nourished by night air.

Outside, the stars are trapped by tall lodgepines, freezing the courses of time; a distant rumble announces that the walls of the creek are falling in.

Only the boulders can stil carry a tune, their notes unheard by men whose ears cannot resonate to so deep a scale. The bones of the earth smile, soaking down the redolent moisture from the strange passages above them -- the climate on their roof, meaning so much to those who walk on the surface, is a transient atmospheric to them. The bones are concerned with knowing other things, resting deep under the green plains and wet rivercourses, pondering a different way of space, a different meaning of time.

Out among the forest shadows, as the moon crawls into the pinetops among her sister stars, stands a glistening dark form, a savage of wilderness home born, walking without weapon or tools, he bear-talker, squirrel-tamer, the singer of pine cones, he who hears the bones singing, forest-walker and river-minded, world-native.

He knows the decays that are bringing the fortress to a standstill, because he has planned them. The lichen, the ducks, and the squirrels are his favors. In the night breeze, under shadowing arms of pine, stands he so, hearing night talk to the very bones of his planet. He is naked, resilient, glistening with soil-damp, gently formed like riverstone. Deep in his chest, born from fire and rain, comes up a song, which he believes will sing forever. Thus, fading among predawn shadows, has he built a stage for morning to play upon.

He smiles and turns along an invisible trail toward the far hills, and vanishes among the humming bark-heavy pines, into a forest of sweet causes, dark promises, whispering branches and moonlit shadows.

He is not tamed, for he lives in places where taming has never gone. He walks like a forest whisper, owning each brambled niche and open clearing, along with the ants, mice, and lynxes of the forest, and he cannot lie."


Leave your fine mathematics,
Leave your poetry, too
Walk away from the notions
You've presented as You;
Banish all preconceptions,
And your mind starts to pale;
When it sees you are bound for
The Wilderness Trail.

Turn away from the icons,
You have held for too long;
Cast off every image
Used to make others Wrong;
Bid farewell to fond formulas --
You have run out of bail;
And your time is beginning
On the Wildrness Trail.

The trailhead is near you,
Not more than a day;
But as you love your comfort.
Turn away, turn away!
Let your heart keep its Answers;
Let your eyes keep their scales.

For there's nothing but Change
On the Wilderness Trail

For there's nothing but Change
On the Wilderness Trail.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 03:25 PM

From a long-lost Southern gentlemen, who wrote poems:

"Wait, wait-as though a finger were placed to lips
The first star petals timidly in what
Is not yet darkness. That audacity
Will be rewarded soon. In this transitional light,
While cinders in the west die, the world
Has its last blooming. Let your soul

Be still. All day it has curdled in your bosom
Denatured by intrusion of truth or lie, or both.
Lay both aside, nor debate their nature. Soon,
While not even a last bird twitters, the last bat goes.
Even the last motor fades into distance. The promise
or moonrise will dawn, and slowly, in all fullness, the moon

Will dominate the sky, the world, the heart,
In white forgiveness."

R.P. Warren


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 08:18 PM

Aw, man, I think Mom's feelin; low since the upgrade. I try to talk to her and all she says is, "Oh boy! Have THEY got the wrong number!!!"


Whassup wid dat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 09:17 PM

Think of all of the firsts we might end up doing all over. As an example, pretty soon we'll have a number that resonates in the annals of computer history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 09:18 PM

Amos, I ain't braggin' but here's the story.

Right after the upgrade I got into the 'Cat and naturally went lookin' for Mom.

Amos, she wasn't there!!! True! Vanished, gone!

I quickly went to my personal page and found that yes, long ago I'd "traced" Mom. I clicked on, and VOILA! Up came Mom, but listing far too few postings.

Well, when I opened 'er up there were 293 pages although I seemed to remember 295 BF (Before Fix). I figgered that was close and posted.

She's been around ever since.

But she was GONE, dude, gee-doubleoh-en-ee GONE. Like I said, I ain't braggin', but I'm right glad I was able to pull her back from the light.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 06 - 09:33 PM

Well done, Brave Rapaire. Thanks for plucking her soul back from peril and the Unknown!

A


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Mudcat time: 22 October 4:54 PM EDT

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