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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 15 Dec 06 - 01:20 PM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 06 - 04:16 PM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 07:14 PM
Acme 15 Dec 06 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 06 - 10:58 AM
Acme 16 Dec 06 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 06 - 03:13 PM
Amos 16 Dec 06 - 03:28 PM
Acme 16 Dec 06 - 05:18 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 06 - 10:30 PM
Acme 17 Dec 06 - 01:02 AM
Acme 17 Dec 06 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 11:08 AM
Amos 17 Dec 06 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 02:26 PM
Acme 17 Dec 06 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 04:38 PM
Amos 17 Dec 06 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 07:58 PM
Amos 17 Dec 06 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 08:08 PM
Amos 17 Dec 06 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 08:53 PM
Amos 17 Dec 06 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM
Acme 18 Dec 06 - 10:21 AM
MMario 18 Dec 06 - 10:24 AM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 10:36 AM
MMario 18 Dec 06 - 10:43 AM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 11:31 AM
MMario 18 Dec 06 - 11:34 AM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 12:59 PM
Acme 18 Dec 06 - 01:52 PM
MMario 18 Dec 06 - 01:57 PM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 02:17 PM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 06 - 02:53 PM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 03:55 PM
Acme 18 Dec 06 - 06:18 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 06 - 09:01 PM
Amos 18 Dec 06 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 06 - 09:16 AM
Amos 19 Dec 06 - 09:32 AM
Acme 19 Dec 06 - 11:24 AM
Amos 19 Dec 06 - 12:41 PM
Amos 19 Dec 06 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 06 - 03:39 PM
Amos 19 Dec 06 - 04:13 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 01:20 PM

It's that stuff they have on beaches in Hawaii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM

Wahinis? They found WAHINIS in the OORT CLOUD??? Hold on you guys. I want co-authorship on the scientific paper.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:14 PM

I've just heard the news, done dug up the dirt,
They've got sway-hipped wahinis way out in the Oort,
Dunno how they got there, it's a problem for the courts,
But there's men of all sizes lining up hip to hip
Just begging for a hitch on some big rocket ship
They're giving theguys from NASA every kind of lip
They're telling it long, and they're telling it short
They wanna get a ride to the cloud of Oort
To chase the svelte wahinis way out in the Oort.

(Ragtime fingerpicking fades out.....)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:16 PM

Not Wahinis, Amos. That milk of magnesia ovaltine stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 07:14 PM

Dammit, Rapaire, I was on a roll there!!

Says who?

Sesame! (Badabing....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 10:54 PM

One of my favorite mountain views, tucked away in the North Cascades, is the Twin Sisters. They're mostly composed of olivine. And it's a beautiful rock, a dark green mineral.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 10:58 AM

There's a quilt show every year in Twin Sister, OR. All the quilts have to be dark green and really, really hard. They're very difficult to sew, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 11:33 AM

There's no relation. It's just coincidence. Serendipity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 03:13 PM

My brother once removed on my mother's side used to date Sara Dippity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 03:28 PM

My brother once removed something on my mothers side and used it to date Sara Kay. (Of whatever will be fame).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:18 PM

Silly! You forgot the comma! And her middle name was her great grandmother's name on her father's side.

Sera, Kay Sera


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 10:30 PM

Tom, Will and Ben are the songs of one of my staff members. Last Hallowe'en they all dressed up the same and the costume was choosen by Will. As Tom said, "What Will'll be, we'll be."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 01:02 AM

Time to go to bed. I'm wasting time torquing up another Mudcatter by highlighting her idiotic remarks. Note to self to forward to that person: if you're going to post a link to a place, it helps to at least READ the information about the place. You have a lot less egg on your face later on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 11:04 AM

Good MORNING, Mom! Warm, humid, sunny day here in Texas! My family in Washington haven't been so lucky, with all of the rain and trees falling. I called to check on an old friend north and east of Seattle who said the worst they got was rain, but there are some graphic photos online about the storm damage. As for me down here, I'm going to give the dogs baths today, because it's supposed to be in the low 80s by afternoon.

Wierd winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 11:08 AM

It was 8.3 F here an hour or so ago. No snow, little wind, blue sky.

Flying to DC on Thursday; back on 1/3. We hope to visit Gettysburg Battlefield, and maybe Brandywine, while we're out there. Who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 01:13 PM

Rotsa ruck finding the battle field under 6" of white icy crystallized hydrogen dioxide.

Oughta be a law....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:26 PM

Hydrogen dioxide? HO2? I ddin't know that that was chemically possible! Is it a new chemical that blanketing the Eastern US??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:27 PM

It has to do with global warming, and it's starting in the east.

Well, I lobbed a stinkbomb last night and I see the thread is back at the top, but I'm tired of squabbling with folks, so I think I'll let that one lie.

I just took a bird feeder, a shepherd's crook garden thing and a bag of seed over to my neighbors across the street. He complained that I'm hogging all of the birds lately, so I'm leveling that landing strip, so to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:38 PM

Now, we got solid dihydrogen monoxide up on the hills around here. Fortunately, it's up in the hills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 06:53 PM

Buncha weisenheimers -- you should pay more attention to what I mean, instead of what I type...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:58 PM

Which reminds me -- does anyone know where I can get a computer that will do what I mean and not what I tell it to do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:04 PM

You probably need to invest in a carbon-based wetware systems solution for that, Rapaire, preferably female (better RAM) -- what used to be known as "a really good secretary'.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:08 PM

If I had two, would I have a secretariat? And could I then win the Kentucky Derby?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:36 PM

I think two of them are secretarii, and one is a secretariat. In the old days it was common for someone to come barging into an office asking "Where's my secretartiat?".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:53 PM

Oh. Now I understand. I have to stomp around yelling, "Where's my administrativeassistantat?" huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 11:31 PM

Maybe if you pronounced it "Asymptote" it would get over better. Or, you could at least get indefinitely closer to him or her, even if never quite arriving.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

She'd probably get Donovan, her son, to beat me up. If he could stop looking at the ceiling fans long enough. He's really into ceiling fans, and he's learned to make them go faster and stop and everything by using the remote. For two years old he's pretty bright. And tough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:21 AM

When my daughter was that age she was also fascinated by fans, though she preferred the types that are on stands or sit in the room and oscillate. Every time the breeze passed her face there would be a happy little "gasp!" at the puff of air.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:24 AM

I had a young friend so fascinated with fans that one of his first Halloween costumes (*the* first he chose on his own) was to dress as a box fan.

In other news - the Tavern has opened for Christmas - but sneak in the back way - Cletus is trying to charge admission at the main door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:36 AM

That damned possum has no scruples, I swan.

Well...I don't. But I know someone who does.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:43 AM

Cletus, not Cleigh. Cleigh *does* have scruples. Cletus has none.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:31 AM

oh!!! my apologies to both of them.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:34 AM

Cletus was probably chuffed to be thought Cleigh.

On the other hand - you might want to secure your home against attack possums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 12:59 PM

It's only fair Cletus get a little chuffing once in a while. Cleigh gets to have all the fun.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 01:52 PM

I have a pair of possum hounds in the back yard (well, they're squirrel hounds this week, since that's what they caught on Thursday. And they're also snake hounds and lizard hounds and mourning dove hounds. . . when they're not being an Am Staff Terrier and a Catahoula). They're soft and sweet smelling today, after a lovely bath last night.

Can I bring 'em over to the tavern?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 01:57 PM

well - the Duck opened the bar - and the squid is lounging in the jello pit - will the dogs disturb them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:17 PM

Give 'em hell. That squid has been sitting in there so long, he's wrinkled, and half-turned into a lounge lizard. That Catahoula will teach him some get up and go!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM

HE speaks as straight as his rifles shot,
As straight as a thrusting blade,
Waiting the deed that shall trouble the truce
His savage guns have made.

"You have dared the wrath of a dozen states,"
Was the challenge that he heard;
"We can die but once!" said the grim old King
As he gripped his mountain sword.

"For I paid in blood for the town I took,
The blood of my brave men slain,--
And if you covet the town I took
You must buy it with blood again!"

Stern old King of the stark, black hills,
Where the lean, fierce eagles breed,
Your speech rings true as your good sword rings--
And you are a king indeed!

(Don Marquis)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:53 PM

Thank you, Amos. That's possibly the best description of me ever written.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:55 PM

I knew you would like that little piece of Marquis' oeuvre, Rapaire. Unfortunately, I also knew why.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 06:18 PM

WHoa, did you see the mess Rap made when he was over at the Mudcat Tavern a little while ago? Ass over applecart THROUGH the door WITH the horse. . . he was moving around so I don't think he broke anything, but that dismount HAD to hurt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:01 PM

Scored a 9.8 out of 10.0, didn't it? And as the song says,

"My spurs are rusted, my sword is bent,
My plume is soaked with rum
And the thistles, thorns and cockleburrs
Are thick on my well-bruised bum."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:42 PM

The judges, too, are legends in his own mind!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:16 AM

Yeah, well, I got a traffic ticket for it. "Failure to use chains during icy conditions." Damn cops. Next thing you know they'll be after you for minor infractions, like moonshining and battery and public lewdness and illicit intentions and fighting and drunkeness.

And then they'll have to shut down the Legion Hovel and we'll be in the same dilemma as the teenage boy who finds himself sans condom when the "magic moment" arrives and his girlfriend ain't about to take chances!

Dunno what this world is coming to, and it the Christmas season, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:32 AM

Damn!! The law is a ass when they put things in such hidebound terms.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:24 AM

What's the answer? Do they make crampons in hoof sizes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:41 PM

8730



Hell, I get a kick out of that question. I kinda doubt it -- reindeer, at least, have evolved specially formed feet for dealing with ice. Horses, now, that's a hard one. here should be a footnote about it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:55 PM

Isn't "Crampon! Crampon" the rallying cry for the WIMPS (Women's International Menses and PMS Society)? Or am I thinking of something else? If not, I am sure I will be momentarily....(ducks and exits stage left).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 03:39 PM

Crampon. Do not confuse with tampion, tampon, pontoon, or sponsoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:13 PM

Wow, thanks, Rapaire. Saved me from a nasty tumble, I am sure...


A


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