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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 31 Oct 07 - 10:39 AM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 11:27 AM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 07 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 12:40 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 01:15 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 01:18 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 01:19 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 01:29 PM
MMario 31 Oct 07 - 01:37 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 02:09 PM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 07 - 02:45 PM
MMario 31 Oct 07 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 03:49 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 07:36 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 09:52 PM
Amos 31 Oct 07 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 07 - 10:52 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 07 - 12:13 AM
Acme 01 Nov 07 - 12:18 AM
Amos 01 Nov 07 - 02:15 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 07 - 09:19 AM
MMario 01 Nov 07 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM
Amos 01 Nov 07 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 07 - 12:01 PM
Amos 01 Nov 07 - 06:03 PM
Amos 01 Nov 07 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 07 - 10:13 PM
Acme 01 Nov 07 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 07 - 09:14 AM
Acme 02 Nov 07 - 10:00 AM
Little Hawk 02 Nov 07 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 07 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 07 - 01:50 PM
Little Hawk 02 Nov 07 - 04:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 07 - 04:40 PM
Acme 02 Nov 07 - 11:50 PM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 07 - 09:47 AM
Acme 03 Nov 07 - 04:30 PM
Acme 03 Nov 07 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 07 - 09:25 PM
Acme 04 Nov 07 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 07 - 05:09 AM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 07 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 07 - 10:11 AM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 07 - 06:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:39 AM

Yes, it's good to be alive...
20 K, four hundreds five...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 11:27 AM

LH, you can't just make up numbers like that. It's against the rule.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 11:30 AM

Carping won't get you to heaven...
20 K, four hundreds seven...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 12:40 PM

Whatever was on my breakfast plate
I think I've tossed: 20K, two hundred and eight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:15 PM

Oh, my profound apologies; it was the right number in LH's little doggerel. Rapaire, as might have been predicted, is inventing a tangent of his own. He's a veritable tangenterine, much like the U.S. Tangenterines, who are semper fi and often awry.

I have no desire to get into heaven, thank you. I intend to design one of my own, as soon as I can shuck this mortal confabulation of addictive electro-magnetic frequencies and genetic overrides.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:18 PM

I refuse to stand in line
For twenty K and four-oh-nine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:19 PM

I'll never get to Counting Heaven!
This is 20, four-eleven!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:29 PM

It's unnecessary for me to delve
Into obscure things for 20K four and twelve.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:37 PM

What's all this then?

This is a BS thread - not a counting thread

I lost my bear mat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 02:09 PM

Bear mats, cars, and a fancy mansion
Won't excuse the lack of scansion.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 02:45 PM

As you meander down the road
Take care to watch for the wand'ring toad
For a toad that's crushed beneath your wheels
Will look quite sad when it congeals


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 02:57 PM

written by a friend - to the tune of "little white duck"

Little Dead frog
Lying in the gutter
Little dead frog
gases make him sputter
Little dead frog
he goes good with butter
Little dead frog eat him up!
Yum!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 03:49 PM

I am not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son. So you just better call me a son of a pheasant plucker instead of what you do call me. And don't say you don't. I know better. So just stop calling me a pheasant plucker, okay? That was my father, not me. I pluck geese, ducks, quail, chickens -- anything except pheasants. You could say that I'm an unpheasant plucker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 04:26 PM

The most un-pheasant son a mother-plucker seen on the range, I am sure. Sigh. Odd, sometimes, the grandest delusions do not involve being loved, but being feared; not being wise, but being dangerous; winning obeisance and trembling instead of sturdy friendship amongst free equals. One wonders why that is.

So does Two, and Eleven.

Seven is watcing Sesame Street, so he doesn't care.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 07:36 PM

Seven of Nine is definitely female, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 08:20 PM

I have joys and thrill aplenty
Captured 20, four-and twenty!
You can have your share of fun
Going after twenty-one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 09:52 PM

No, I went to fencing. Even though you could wear a mask and dress up almost no one came, so we all went home. Candy, I guess, is a bigger draw than virtual bloodshed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:38 PM

We are still fending off little hobgoblins, fairies, princesses, ninjas with Reese's Cups and granola bars. This, too, shall pass. I certainly hope... :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:52 PM

I wanted to stay home and give out prunes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:13 AM

Ha! That would have been amusing...

I have an old friend here, "Johnny Death", the local DJ and record collector. He hates Halloween kids showing up at his door, so we went out for the evening to the restaurant instead so he could avoid them. The weather here tonight was typical for the evening of October 31st...bloody awful! It's rainy, windy, blustery, dark, and utterly miserable out there tonight...but the restaurant was great. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:18 AM

We had a few kids come by, and considering how nice and warm and still the evening, I thought we'd be swamped. Some years we see a glut of kids, some we see few or none. There's no figuring it.

I sat in a darkened room, staring at the computer screen, editing some pages for a friend's book. They have been sent and now I'll go put my trash at the curb (hopefully it is past the bedtime of pranksters) and turn my porch lights on again. On Halloween, when I run out of candy or when I decide I've seen as many kids as I care to, the lights go off. It usually discourages the high schoolers who sometimes prowl quite late.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 02:15 AM

Once more, we have survived the first of the Gruesome Four. Now we have to dodge Thanksgiving...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:19 AM

Embrace the Holidays, Amos. Make them part of you. Become one with them. Mind you, we're going to Indiana for Thanksgiving and we'll be eating a dinner at a restaurant.

But if you would truly embrace the Holidays, you would go out and shoot your own wild turkey, draw it, pluck it, and cook it yourself. This will permit you to really appreciate the food you eat (you also have to grow the veggies yourself and make your own bread and pies, etc -- milling your own flour from wheat you sewed and grew also helps). Then make the presents you will give for Christmas, chop down your own Yule log, and fill the groaning board with edibles you yourself grew and prepared. A lovely roast suckling pig is always a nice Christmasy touch, for instance -- from your own piggery, of course.

Embrace the Holidays and make them your own. You can relax a bit between New Year's and ML King Day, too. And you'll have about two weeks before the February holidays start!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:31 AM

Rapaire appears to be channeling Martha Stewart!

BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT!
By Bell, Book and Candle I bid you DEPART!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM

No, I just advocate returning to the ways our ancestors celebrated holidays. For instance, I want to decorate evergreens as my Norse ancestors did -- by hanging people from them in honor of Odin -- but religious discrimination prevents me from doing so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:55 AM

My own piggery, sir, has been enjoined roundly not to appear at holiday gatherings, and I have studied long the art of keeping it safely distant therefrom.

I offer herewith for both erudition and amusement, not to mention improvement, the following moral tale from our own best-respected Franklin, whose autobiography I have lately revisited, which plainly explains the fact that I am writing funny.

"There was a salt-marsh that bounded part of the mill-pond, on the edge of which, at high water, we used to stand to fish for minnows. By much trampling, we had made it a mere quagmire. My proposal was to build a wharff there fit for us to stand upon, and I showed my comrades a large heap of stones, which were intended for a new house near the marsh, and which would very well suit our purpose. Accordingly, in the evening, when the workmen were gone, I assembled a number of my play-fellows, and working with them diligently like so many emmets, sometimes two or three to a stone, we brought them all away and built our little wharff. The next morning the workmen were surprised at missing the stones, which were found in our wharff. Inquiry was made after the removers; we were discovered and complained of; several of us were corrected by our fathers; and though I pleaded the usefulness of the work, mine convinced me that nothing was useful which was not honest".


The moral is profound and much to be reflected upon by all those who would dance in the shadows of the MOAB, do you not agree?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:01 PM

...nothing was useful which was not honest.

Hmmm...Ken Lay and others might make a tasty meal for those so inclined.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 06:03 PM

To you who will not come to play,
Or sing or listen while at large,
At Getaway this weekend, I
Do lay upon you, then, a Charge!!
Let not our mother drift away!
Let not her stature sink so low
Or run a risk of falling off
The page that at The Mudcat shows
INto the darkness deep below.

Forgotten threads from other days
Dust like the bones of Ms. deFarge
Within those boundless deeps to fly;
Therefore pray heed you all my charge!!
Creative be! Attention pay!
And to her care and duties go!
A little careless mind's enough
To send her reeling off below,
Down where the daylight never shows!!

Either thou heeds't this charge, I say,
Or come at once to Getaway!!


Manfred Dirndl Spinner
The Yammer of Threads in the Loom of Life
Brutish, Myndlessened, Meandring, editors
Sebastopol, 1912


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:24 PM

Oh, take ye heed, ye MOAB kin,
Let Mom not go ignored!
Or we shall see, an ye should sin,
WHose Bush it is gets Gored.

Adieu, adieu, 't is close of day
I fly the night to make my way
At last, to fabled Getaway.
While you at home must sadly stay!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 10:13 PM

I do not stay at home to play
Nor to knit or purl the live-long day,
For while Amos et al. is at Getaway
We others work so they can play.

Let us who keep the flag aloft
Who mend the shoes and till the croft
The ants who labor so grasshoppers can play
We also serve, who only stand and wait.

      --Gertrudus Omicron Smith, The Dalliance
       (Las Putas, California: Tres Putas Press, 1817)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 10:56 PM

Amos is going again? What a lucky fellow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 09:14 AM

Just another round of folkie decadence. Drunken carousing until all hours, men explaining what a capo is REALLY for, women exhibiting lewd behavior, ribald songs sung out of tune by voices much the worse due to cheap liquor, dirty Morris dancing, off-key oboes and badly tuned bagpipes blaring out the horrid rhythmns of obscene flamencoe music, bell bottom trousers and Nehru jackets....

Better to stay a home and work as God intended those of us who can't get away to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 10:00 AM

Well, okay. . . but I want a photo of Amos in the Nehru jacket. A paisley one, I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 10:31 AM

Yes, those who wish to avoid being totally corrupted should NOT go to the Getaway.

I told Chongo about that, and he was surprised. He says he might just go this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 12:29 PM

Contemplation of the orgy that is called "Getaway" kind of makes you sad, doesn't it?

To know that our comrades and comradettes are spending their time and precious bodily fluids in riotous living...a shame, a real shame.

I hope that we aren't asked to bail them out again this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 01:50 PM

Come to think of it, Getaway could be held at the Legion Hovel. Nobody would notice any difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 04:19 PM

Chongo would. He has a pretty sensitive nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 04:40 PM

A message to you from Colonel-General Smyte-Withers, Commander of the Idaho Legion: "Is this Chongo a trick monkey? We like trick monkeys up at the Legion Hovel. They're so cute!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 11:50 PM

Hey, Mom, I'm still working on my roof job. I've got a good bid and a painter to tidy up after the roof and the gutter replaced. Now I have to figure out the IRS rules regarding my IRA. That could take longer than replacing the roof, once the crew gets started. No spare money for running off to folkie weekends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM

He's got a few tricks she probably hasn't seen yet...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 09:47 AM

Knowing the CG I'd be very, very surprised if she hadn't. Well, not exactly -- I know the CG, but unlike almost everyone else I haven't really known her, if you get my meaning.

She's lived a very full and exciting life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 04:30 PM

Hey, MOM, maybe you want to head over to the Mudcat Tavern. Amos has headed out of town for a couple of days and it looks like Rap is cavorting at the Country Club.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 09:00 PM

You never realize how much noise the boys make until they're all out running around and you can hear yourself think for once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 09:25 PM

Yeah. I went to a funeral service (with Dixielanders blowin' sweet on the hymns) and then to a reception at the local country club, where I stayed long enough to have a glass of water, present my personal and the Library's condolences and take care of one last piece of business, drove to work and put a toilet out of order and dealt with an angry patron, went to church, had dinner, and am now home.

Cavorting...I'm on antibiotics and predisone, ferchrissakes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 01:32 AM

Okay, so you're not cavorting, you're kvetching.

I'm doing laundry and baking bread. I just had to pronounce my convection oven dead. The fan is kaput. I fixed it once, but it didn't stay fixed. This after I replaced my hot water kettle ye$terday. My small appliances seem to be unhappy. (Let's hope the large ones decide to be "big" about it all, whatever they're grousing about.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 05:09 AM

We had a flyer this week from Bad, Breath and Beyond (or some store with a name like that) for a toaster oven that was also a convection oven; I think the price was about $70.00.

Why am I up at this god-awful hour, before the Deity has arisen? I coughed myself awake in spite of the meds. I'm also going back to bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 10:07 AM

Okay, here's a trivia question. Who plaintively asked the question:

"Can I wham my oingo-boingo into your velvet underground?"

And it was addressed to whom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 10:11 AM

"Shane" McBride asked it of Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM

LOL!

Wrong. Try again.

Shane would probably be dead if he'd said that to Chongo. And anyway, he wouldn't have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 06:21 PM

"Shane" McBride asked it of Penelope Rutledge.


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Mudcat time: 22 October 8:47 PM EDT

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