Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 Feb 04 - 11:41 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Feb 04 - 05:12 AM
ToulouseCruise 12 Feb 04 - 08:35 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 04 - 09:24 AM
ToulouseCruise 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM
Tweed 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 04 - 11:43 AM
CarolC 12 Feb 04 - 12:36 PM
Tweed 12 Feb 04 - 01:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 04 - 02:00 PM
Amos 13 Feb 04 - 02:16 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 Feb 04 - 11:11 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 Feb 04 - 11:17 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 04 - 07:52 AM
Amos 14 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 04 - 01:41 AM
Amos 15 Feb 04 - 10:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 04 - 01:35 PM
Amos 15 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM
CarolC 15 Feb 04 - 11:51 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM
Tweed 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM
Amos 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 04 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 04 - 11:14 AM
Tweed 17 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM
Rustic Rebel 17 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Feb 04 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 04 - 09:12 AM
Amos 22 Feb 04 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 04 - 10:10 PM
CarolC 22 Feb 04 - 11:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Feb 04 - 12:55 AM
CarolC 23 Feb 04 - 01:11 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 03:14 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 06:12 AM
Rapparee 23 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 08:22 PM
Amos 23 Feb 04 - 10:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 04 - 05:48 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:41 PM

Good on ya, RR -- don'tcha go buyin' no wooden boxers even from Mayor Tweed his own self. Nor any others either! :>))

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:12 AM

Right on Amos, you got that right!

Hey Tweedster, I'll make you a deal. I'll take a photo of me with greasy, cockroach, steak fat, drippin' hair, as long as your in it with me. Your wearing 92 day old, making your butt hurt, keeping your friends at a distance, wished you would have changed your underwear 91 days ago, grin, and playing your accordian to 31 younger than you, pretty maidens wearing 4 day underwear and fanning their scent toward you. If you agree to that and can make it happen, e-mail me at..youmakemelaughsohardiwetmypantsandwon'tchangethemonaccountoftheprincipleofthings@hahaha.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 08:35 AM

Rustic.. I was going to email you in support of your cause, but the email didn't work. Mind you, I may have mistyped something, as since my eyes are still sore from the entire reading the entire blooody thing incident. Or maybe it was the missing .com that I am not intelligent enough to notice.

(Psst CarolC - Would a case of instant karma running over an instant dogma be an instance of cosmic catastrophe?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:24 AM

CarolC, I have it on good authority that the Tweedster doesn't WEAR undies, not matter what he says. He can't afford 'em. He said "boxers" which I assume to mean either pugilists or dogs or both. He's leading you on.

TC, I said "immediate death", not "instant death." You don't have to add anything for immediate death. I'd describe death from systemic hypermanuria, but I can't because of the horror! the horror!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM

Rapaire - My mistake. Apparently I was due for an immediate death, wasn't I? How can I tell if I am still alive, or if I have truly shuffled off of this mortal coil?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM

Dang! 31 maidens wif four day old thong scent....I am gonna need to jump in the creek an' cool off after that image Rustic. I will try an set up the Kodak on a stump er sumpthin an fire my haif obv this bargin off to you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 11:43 AM

TC, if you have entered MOAB you are already brain-dead. The other will follow shortly, but not until you have suffered more -- lots more.

And, by the way, MOAB has its very own newspaper and/or magazine.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 12:36 PM

Was Tweed talking to me about his underwear Rapaire? My mind must have blocked that out. Too something or other to contemplate I guess. My brain must have substituted "accordion" for "underwear" to protect my delicate synapses. Or sensibilities. Whichever of those two I've got... if any.

(Pssst, Toulouse Cruise... only if it damages the karma. Like the time when we hit the instant flying deerma. Did you see the pictures?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 01:52 PM

Even I wold diztane from speaking obv such things wif the Crapper Queen, O,CarolC. RawPair habv substantiamated the squeeze box for my undergarbles and thet iz mos disquietin' revolution, to my cashew sized brain, at least.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 02:00 PM

The principle differences and similarities between accordions and dirty underwear:

1) They both stink, but you can wash underwear.

2) Perverts collect dirty underwear. Only sick disgusting people collect accordions.

3) Dirty underwear are only offensive to those within smelling range. Accordions are offensive to anyone within hundreds of yards.

4) I would much rather play backup for three fiddlers wearing dirty underwear than three accordion players wearing clean underwear.

5) If you are wearing dirty underwear, you can blame the smell on the dog farting. If you are playing the accordion you can blame the sound on the dog farting.

6) If you throw a pair of really dirty underwear against the refrigerator, they'll stick. If you throw an accordion against the refrigerator, it'll probably just dent the regrigerator.

7) It is much easier to get dirty underwear out of the crack of your butt than it is to get an accordion out of the crack of your butt.

8) Dirty underwear and accordions are both extremely cheesey.

9) If you're wearing dirty underwear in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 10%. If you're playing an accordion in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 0%.

10) Pawn shops are full of accordions, but not dirty underwear. Why? Because most people would rather have dirty underwear than an accordion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 02:16 PM

Beg to differ, sir!! Accordions are the proud legacy of Romulus and Remus, the wolf-sucklings of ancient Rome, and the Muses of Paris; accordions are the symbols of a proud heritage of fine music in streets, coming out of windows in springtime, echoing down subway and Metro tunnels, moving souls of all sizes in city fairs and block parties, country weddings, beer halls and gardens all across Europe. I defend them as instruments of fine grace and beauty, challenging to learn but more rewarding by far than a penny whistle or sweet potato or Jew's harp or moonshine jug.

Fie on your analogies!! They are corrupt!! Here's a toast to fine accordion music and fair accordion musicians of all shapes and sizes from Everywhere!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:11 PM

I believe I have once again made my underwear dirty from your post Bee-D. Damn if that didn't bust a tube. Amos, how did you possibly think you could come in with your limber humor after we just got done wettin' our pants over Bee's? Do you want us all to lose bladder function all over, twice, pants still un-absorbing the Bee's undie masquerade party? Oh brother's of MOAB, I can't go on like this wetting panties,especially when I don't even wear them.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:17 PM

Now, damn it, that's not why I even came in here tonight. I came in here to say....
Amos are you almost here with your dancing shoes? Tomorrow I venture in to Fargo, and if I am appointed the North decoder ring bearer, I have to have an inside clue before midnight.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 04 - 07:52 AM

In but one short hour or so I shall no longer post to this thread. Or any other one. Until Monday, February 16, when I shall return, because by then you will have either missed my dripping pearls of wisdom and be begging for them with slobber slobbering down your jowls or will not have suffered enough for your sins to be completely remitted. For I go forth out into the cold, into the snow, into the frigid temperatures, yea, though I snowcoach through the mountains of Yellowstone National Park I shall fear no neither evil nor good for my bottle is with me.

Eat your hearts out! Yellowstone, Old Faithful Snow Lodge, snowcoach tours of the park, geysers, mountains, bison, elk, moose, young things cavorting in the heated pools.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM

Ma'am, I had forgot, but I am hastily setting out anonce to rectify my omission. I am covered in confuzzlement, for truth, as it has been so long since a comely lass has requested that I supply her an inside clue that I scarcely remember the correct position, but it will come to me.

Fargo...how far a go is it, anyway?...here we come!

Meanwhile, Rapaire, best of bold adventures in the Frozen North, although I do think going to Yellowstone in February is something that could only appeal to someone in North Dakota!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:41 AM

Yellowstone in the dead of winter, huh? That'll clean your mind better than a whole bar of Psyche Soap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 10:41 AM

What I want to know is when is BWL going to apologize for his scurrilous association of accordions with fouled undies?? That is really sub-par, and must be answered for!! My rapier whips the wind in ravenous expectation, sir!!

Methinks your attention is so fixed on dirty boxers that you must, yourself, have treadmarks in your spotted past. Nothing but guilt could account for so obsessive a fixation on underwear begrimed; whether for sins committed or merely wrongful accusations from an equally obsessed grandparent, there is no telling.

But in the fresh open air of this forum, no guilt need   prevail! Only ask, and all shall be forgiven!! Your only burden is to disavow this onerous and misleading tie between a fine upstanding instrument and an embarrassing history of social errors and laundry-making. Say it ain't so, Brother Dub, I implore you -- step forth and be cleansed of your madness!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:35 PM

Okay, Amos. I'll admit that one of the ten points of comparison I made between accordions and dirty underwear is invalid. Please delete item #4 and substitute:

It is much easier to install a drool cup on an accordion than on a pair of dirty underwear.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM

LOL!! You are an incorrigible reprobate and a minicephalic octopod to boot. Fie!! Your apology is disingenuous and misleading!! Pshaw!! Pfui!! My rapier cuts your wind!!...um....well, never mind that, but you get the idea...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 11:51 PM

I think it's time for you to be afraid, Bee-dubya-accordion-hater.

Do you watch any television these days? Accordions are everywhere. Almost all television commercials have them playing in the background now, and quite a few television shows have them in the background as well. And, of course, the accordion is already well established as a folk instrument. It's only a matter of time before we accordionists TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

...and then we'll make whatever measly instruments you play illegal... muahahahahah...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM

Ohhhh Beee DUBYA -- NOW YER FOR IT!! YOU HAVE INCURRED THE WRATH OF THE CRAPPER QUEEN!! A woman of world renown who could stop the pipes of the Queen Mary with a single twitch of an eyebrow!! Not someone to mess with, especially at your age. I'm tellin' ya there ain't enough prunes in California to patch you up when you cross the wrath of CTCQ! You most always end up most irregular! Start listening for them accordion solos in your dreams, good buddy!! Wake up screaming!! Don't say I didn't warn ya!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM

CarolC, laist nite I woke up in a cold sweat and wif "Lady obv Spane" playin' over and over agin in my head. Are you tryin' to contack me wif som sorta pyscokhnaneisis, or iz this only a phaze I am goin' thru?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM

Couldn't have been me, Tweed, I don't know "Lady of Spain". But Spaw's always talking about how much he loves LoS, so maybe it was him trying to contact you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM

Yeah but that'sd accordion music, and Spaw plays possum-holes! Even jugbands don't do Lady of Spain, and they are plumb musical compared to possunholes!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM

What sort of a weird accordion-playin' cult do you belong to, CarolC, that plays neither polkas nor "Lady of Spain"? Do ya'll have monthly gatherings in Spanish moss laden oak groves where you play "Pachobel's Canon" around bonfires built from pre-war Martins while filling the custom-made Sterling silver drool cups mounted onto your Hohners and Saltarellis? Are ya'll nekkid while this accordion debauchery is goin' on? Is there a bubble-blowin' machine? Does somebody go into a trance and start channeling the ghost of Lawrence Welk? Just curious....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM

You got most of it right Bee-dubya-accordion-hater, but we don't channel Lawrence Welk, we burn his effigy. And we don't play Pachelbel's Canon, we play Finnish waltzes. And we don't need the drool cups because, unlike stringed instrument players, we don't drool. Don't need the bubble blowing machine either. We use stringed instrument players for that.

I can't tell you any more than that or I'll have to (you know what).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM

Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya, BWL... stand by fer reaming!! LOL!!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM

Hi, folks.

I'm going to tell you all a true story. It's one that Bee-dubya can't tell you himself because he has buried the memory of it too deeply to talk about.

Several years ago there was a bimonthly Sunday afternoon Irish music session at an old house that belongs to the Pensacola Historical Society. The sessions usually attracted a fairly decent number of musicians and on this one particular Sunday afternoon there were a couple of fiddlers, a harpist, a tenor banjo player and three accordion players with Bee-dubya on guitar. The session started out just fine, but after a couple of hours people started leaving for one reason or another. Well, within a period of about thirty minutes, everybody had left except the three accordion players and Bee-dubya. It was then that the trouble began.

One of the accordion players pointed out a window and said, "What's that?" While Bee-dubya was looking out the window another one of the accordion players pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his accordion case and cuffed Bee-dubya to his chair. Bee-dubya looked on in horror as the three accordion players attached their drool and spittle cups to their instruments, buttoned up their shirts all the way to the collars, removed their contact lenses and put on horn-rimmed glasses with lenses as thick as coke bottle bottoms. Then they began to play "Blackthorn Stick" in G while Bee-dubya was forced to listen. "You must play!" they demanded. "We must have rhythm accompaniment! We are accordionists! We have no sense of timing! Play for your freedom!" So, Bee-dubya picked up his Martin and attempted to back up the three of them even though they were each playing in a slightly different variation of totally out-of-time. When Bee-dubya would follow one of them he'd get thrown off because the other two were playing off in some alternate universe where the accented notes on jigs fall on the second and sixth beats.

Finally, it got toward dusk and the accordion players had to go home before their mothers started worrying about them. They removed their drool cups, unbuttoned their shirt collars, put their contacts back in and became doctors, lawyers and accountants again. They uncuffed Bee-dubya from his chair, said their goodbyes, got in their BMW's and headed for home. Poor Bee-dubya couldn't move for about an hour, but he finally was able to make it to his truck and headed toward home.

It was while driving home that Bee-dubya remembered the stories he had heard told by the caretaker at the old house where the session had been held. It was widely believed that the house was haunted and that the ghost of a little girl could sometimes be seen standing among the azalea bushes. Bee-dubya became convinced that the only explanation for the transformation he had seen take place among the three accordion players was some kind of demonic possession or other supernatural phenomenon. Bee-dubya refused to go back to the session after that and it soon fell apart due to lack of a decent rhythm section.

This is a true story and if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Mrs. Bee


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM

That's what he gets for hanging out with Morris Dancers, Mrs. Bee.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM

Ouch!!! Morris dancers??? Uncle!!! I give up!!! I quit!!!

Really, Carol, I've been guilty of associating with some pretty lowlife types - banjo players, Ovation players, Taylor players, even accordion players - but NEVER Morris dancers!!!

This is really a new low in the annals of MOABism!!!Congratulations!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM

Now shall the winter of our discontent turn duller silence by the absence of moi, called to the distant deserts of California for a work trip in the field. Farewell, MOAB!! Until I return, with my sword or on it, or whatever.... :>)

If I am lucky berhaps I will encounter the Dakota Ring!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM

HA! Fie on all you naysayers!

We motored to Flagg Ranch in Grand Tetons NP, where we left the car and snowshoed into...no, that's a lie. We left the car and got in a motorized, HEATED snowcoach (sort of an enclosed halftrack, with skis on the front and tracks in the back) and were driven to the Old Faithful Snow Lodge. After a good dinner (they even have wine and good beer) we slept well in a HEATED room (Bequet's caramels on the desk, even) and the next day took a HEATED snowcoach tour of the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone area. We saw bison (LOTS of bison; they walk the roads instead of trudging through 72 inches of snow 'cause they ain't dummies), elk, bald eagles, ilk, coyote, snowmobilers, a couple in the back of the coach who were interested in wild life, and suchlike critters.

We returned to our HEATED room, changed shoes (Sorels are acceptable in the dining room, but any shoes get uncomfortable if you wear 'em long enough), and had a good dinner. We packed, and yesterday left our HEATED room and rode back to Flagg in the HEATED snowcoach. We motored from there to Jackson Hole, where we drove around the perimeter of the National Elk Preserve, bought me a belt, and so back to home.

HA! Fie on you naysayers!! It was in the 20s F., so it wasn't even cold!

(How the heck did BWL play the guitar while handcuffed to a chair?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM

This thread is getting even worse than it used to be. I dropped in hoping to find something more enlightening than discussions on dirty underwear! Pfui! I will come back in 20 or 30 posts from now in hopes that you have all gotten over it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:41 AM

My wife never gets those kinds of stories exactly right. It wasn't handcuffs. It was duct tape. They duct taped my legs and torso to the chair leaving my arms and hands free.

In fact, rumor of this particular duct taping quickly spread through the musical grapevine until it was heard by Deb aka "Blueslady" over at Tweed's Blues who promptly adopted it as an appropriate means of punishment for various musical and non-musical infractions such as harboring the belief that Eric Clapton is a blues guitarist.

Glad you enjoyed your trip, Rap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:14 AM

Send me your address, LH, and I'll send you the Idaho Legion's underwear when they take it off in a month or two. Won't take long to package it, if I can get the tongs and the hazmat suit.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM

Liddel Harq, wold not any discorse regardeng used shorts be several levels of BS above anything havin to do wif Billy Shatner or the rest ob the crew of the Enterprize? ...Unless we was to talk obv Shatner's shatty shorts I guess..that would be worf several hunnert points or more...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM

My search for the North Decoder rings was in vain. I asked several people for help or info and they only looked at me like I was some insane freak from Minnesota. Once the concert started I admit, I spaced the rings out completly. Sorry, I guess I am a novice. Should have sent Chongo the Chimp maybe?
The concert was excellent-Deb Jenkins Blues band opened from Fargo, followed by my favorite of the evening-Molly Nova and the Hawk from MPLS,MN. Molly plays a kick-ass blues fiddle and her voice is grit and grind. Big John Dickerson followed also from MPLS., then Joe Moss from Chicago, an excellent guitar and last was Lil' Ed and the Blues Imperials, also from Chicago, that had the house rocking.
I met almost all of the band members and had a fine time. Mike Garrett guitar player with Lil Ed gave me the best hug of the night, so I went back for another one and we just hung on to each other for awhile like we knew each other all our lives, that was cool. Damn I'm such a groupie!
Amos, I missed you, but I can tell you I had my dancing shoes on. Danced all night, during a break I played some harp and sang to a crowd of about 1000. Oh yeah, I had a fine time.
Rustic


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 09:49 PM

Hello??? Is anybody here??? No???

Gee, I guess everybody's over on the extremely exciting "Ken and Barbie Get Divorced" thread. Or maybe the one about using "Ring of Fire" for a roid commercial. Ho, hum.

Maybe I'll go start a thread about whether or not to use sweet pickle relish in tuna salad. It'd be more exciting than anything else going on around here.

Hello??? Is anybody here???


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 09:12 AM

Don't do it, Bee Dubya! Don't! You'll regret it later! You'll hate yourself in the morning! You'll...oh, heck, why not? If you want to. Really, really want to. I mean, maybe that's your thing and I wouldn't want to mess up your music, if you know what I mean. That's the real reason why Barbie and Ken are splitsville. He wanted to explore his personal space and she wanted a bit more of the domestic scene, yaknow? So there was Ken, trying to figure out whether or not he was gay and Barbie comes on as, like, "do you want sweet pickle relish in your tuna salad or what?" and Ken told her he wasn't ready for such a longterm commitment yet and Barbie said that she thought that all these years together WAS a longterm commitment and she had over a hundred wedding dresses in the closet because Ken kept changing the date and all and then Ken told her he might be gay and Barbie said, Fine specimen of manhood you care, you can't even whizz standing up and the last pair of balls you had were in a can on the tennis court and Ken started to cry and said that it wasn't his fault that the creator didn't see fit to give them privates and then Barbie started to cry too and said she really, really wanted a physical side to their relationship too and then Ken said, yeah, he'd like sweet pickle relish and Barbie said "What?" and Ken explained that he'd always liked sweet pickle relish and Barbie misunderstood and thought Ken was talking about some singer named "Sweet Pickle Relish" and slammed out of the house and roared off in her pink sportscar and spent the next eight hours drinking which was a mistake because she can't whizz either and it has to sweat out through her pores which means that she has a hangover that'll last for weeks. Meanwhile, Ken's starting to get it on with Skipper, who might be young but she's a lot older than she looks and is a LOT older in what she knows only Skipper thinks she might be lesbian because she doesn't have a boyfriend but she's openminded and, well, big sister Barbie out somewhere in a snit and here's Ken, close at hand you might say. So don't do it, Bee, don't do it, because sweet pickle relish has damned near RUINED Barbie and Ken and that only-as-good-as-she-is Skipper.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 08:36 PM

Rapaire, the vaunted literati, the gun-totin intelligentsium of the Great North West, has fallen to discursing on the provate parts of plastic dollies; and BWL, the wildest humoresque this side of the Great Divide, is working the Wonder Bread crowd. What has beCOME of the MOAB we love and treasure, that' s what I want to know!!!?? Where is my dancing friend RR and my sweet insightful SRS and the Queen of Moab himself, Leedle Harg? Where is KHANDU????


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:10 PM

Say, that reminds me. Speaking of hemmorhoids and rings of fire, there's this which has got to be the biggest and bestest ring of fire/'rhoids since Avogadro's number came up.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 11:58 PM

I've kidnapped them, Amos, and I'm holding them hostage... well, I hired Bee-dubya-ell's band of merry morris dancers to do the actual 'holding'. You'll have to pay a ransom to get them back... or is that a transom. Anyway, you'll have to pay or you'll never see them again...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 12:55 AM

Damn, Carol! That's a super flamin' 'rhoid! Makes my butt hurt just to look at it.

What band of Morris dancers? I don't know any Morris dancers. I don't associate with Morris dancers. The only person I ever knew who danced while wearing bells was named Jasmine and the bells came off right along with the rest of her clothes.

Heck, I don't even know what kind of music Morris dancers dance to. Probably something perfectly suited to the accordion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 01:11 AM

What 'rhoid, Bee-dubya-ell?

The morris dancers in question are your old buddies with the duct tape, buttoned up shirts, horn-rimmed glasses and the terrible sense of timing.

They needed some extra money to buy some bells, scarves, and sticks (the buttoned up shirts and horn-rimmed glasses don't have any 'morris cred', and other teams kept beating them senseless with their sticks), and I needed someone thick enough to do the job and not ask any questions.

What do you mean you don't know what kind of music they play? They play morris dance music. You ought to know, you played accompaniment for them on your guitar.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 03:14 AM

Let's not forget the polyester.

It's the polyester that made man forget to have their super flamin' 'rhoid's checked.
It's the polyester that made man need viagra(indeed a conspirasy there).
It's the polyester that turned decent women, earth, home loving men, into polka playing accordian players.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:12 AM

PS.
I ain't talkin' 'bout no wooden boxers here, just plain old polyester.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM

help ive been kidnapped and am being held prisoner by a bunch of crazed nubilities who kidnapped me because carolc told them to and they are giving me a steady diet of great food and great liquor and massages and seeing to my every want and need and help ive been kidnapped and wait don't bother to rescue me the redhead and the blonde just came in with ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:22 PM

A call to arms!!

Rapaire is hallucinating on those mushrooms again!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 10:27 PM

Don't suppose all those posts about underwear and lacks thereof coulda had anything to do with it. Us danglers are SO suggestible!!! :>))

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 05:48 PM

Is MOAB a "massively multi-user persistent environment"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 18 November 3:12 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.