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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 10 Apr 08 - 06:56 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 07:40 PM
Acme 10 Apr 08 - 07:57 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 08 - 08:43 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 11:09 AM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 11:30 AM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 08 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 08 - 01:19 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 08 - 03:10 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 03:27 PM
Acme 11 Apr 08 - 03:33 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 04:40 AM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 12 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 12:21 PM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 12:43 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 02:22 PM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 03:16 PM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 08 - 09:03 PM
Amos 13 Apr 08 - 04:25 AM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:22 AM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 08 - 02:09 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 08 - 06:43 PM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 08 - 07:59 PM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 08 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 09:31 AM
Acme 14 Apr 08 - 10:02 AM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 10:10 AM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 12:28 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 09:42 PM
Acme 15 Apr 08 - 12:48 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 09:18 AM
Acme 15 Apr 08 - 10:08 AM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 11:08 AM
MMario 15 Apr 08 - 11:14 AM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 06:56 PM

Telll Steve I said "Hi" and ask if he can remember that night we had in the Cambridge pubs yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM

New Developments: I am NOT going to hear STeven Hawking to night.

For good and sufficient reason.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:40 PM

But I did pass your message on and he said to tell you "Brnxxqrr ftmranx!"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:57 PM

Awww, too bad, Amos. It would have been fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 08:15 PM

I know, I know. But, driving two plus hours each way for an evening event in the middle of the woik week is just not a good idea anymore.

If I were your age, I would have done it! :D Or even young Rapaire's age!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 08:43 PM

Well, I guess I'll tell what I remember about that evening then.

Steve and me went out to have a single, simple, pint. We're sitting in the pub, quietly discussing the possibility of a weak and strong gravitational force comparable to those nuclear force, when Zack came in. Now, Zack thinks he's a hotshot physicist and mathematician, only those who know him know damned good and well that he's not. He published a couple of articles, yeah, but nothing good, if you follow me.

Anyway, Zack invites himself to our table and starts talking about this new theory of his, that gravity instead of energy is the flip side of mass no matter what Einstein said. Pretty soon, about three pints in, he starts saying that OF COURSE we can know both location and speed of particles because "Heisenberg was a twit." That got Steve pretty riled up and he was about three pints ahead of Zack, so Steve says Zack is so full of shit his eyes are brown, the Uncertainty Principle is basic. Zack throws a glass of bitters into Steve's face and the row was on.

Next thing I know Steve and me are sitting in a cell in the Cambridge Gaol and Zack is next door, screaming that Bohr was wrong, Einstein was an idiot, and only HE knew squat about quantum mechanics. I turned to Steve and said, "Shit, man, that cat's so dense that if he was a hole light couldn't escape."

Steve got this funny look in his eye, grabbed the roll of toilet paper and a pencil and started writing equations and things.

We were released on our own recognizance an hour later, Zack was remanded and eventually served 90 days, and Steve went on to publish what I started him thinking about.

The rest, as they say, is history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 11:09 AM

Thanks, Rapaire. That makes it easier to take. I really enjoyed your story. And I really, really would like to believe it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 11:30 AM

AT 23,111, the MOAB's running free;
And now my fate has become clear,
So awfully clear, to me.
I must not rest, nor close my eyes
Nor leave the room for tea;
But keep my posting blade aloft,
And snickering "snacker-snee!",
'Til I have built JErusalem's post
At two-three-three-three-three!

Anny Juanfere Slappen-Tyckle
Memories of Things to Come
Bosworth on Thyme, 1865


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:12 PM

Great story, Rapaire. I believe you, man. I always knew Shane was lying when he said that he had that idea first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:19 PM

By the way, I later learned that Zack's surname was "Newton." No relation to the famous Fig, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM

Did he wax? Or wayne?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:10 PM

Neither. He disappeared into the obscurity due anyone with the first name of "Isaac." Oh, he made a flash in the pan and got himself knighted, but heck, anybody can get knighted these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:27 PM

You're obviously an expert at how to beknighted be.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:33 PM

Now all we need is a figgy pudding on horseback for this benighted knight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 04:40 AM

A good beknight to you alle was hee,
With courtly aire
Bestride his steede, beside yee seee,
Yclept Rapaire.
With ale this knight was allus free,
With honour, tight
And so renowned his wyse wordes,
And so, benight.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 10:37 AM

Has anyone seen any publishing companies nosing around, wanting to put MOM into print? I hear about blogs being transmogrified. Certainly MOAB is due such consideration, what with the clever blend of poetry, prose, and science fiction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM

We could all discuss GWB's plan for peace between the Palestinians and Israel. You know: Zion's friction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 12:21 PM

Jeeze, Rapaire, I think you just lowered our chances. Why'd you have to go so far to fetch that one??? :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 12:43 PM

I have to go outside for some fresh air after that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 02:22 PM

Back on the subject, "eldritch" is defined in the American Heritage as Strange or unearthly. I don't think there is any question that Rapaire's rich store of knowledge (or at least data) is strange. But I would suggest you might want to think twice before admitting to the unearthly part. Not even Book-Man can calm the savage breast when earthlings start to believe they are being served by extra-terrestrial forces...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 03:11 PM

"Back on the subject."

That's a good one Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 03:16 PM

YEs, sometimes my tongue creeps into my cheek without telling me. Naughty organ.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 08:11 PM

Mom, I'm pooped. I finished digging out the pole for the basketball hoop. You know how narrow and deep you dig the hole to put the sucker in with a few bags of concrete? It's the opposite, a open pit operation to get it back out again. And once you've dislodged it, if you're by yourself, you have to fill the hole back and rock it around in different directions to finally get that 1000 pounds of concrete out of the hole. At least it rolled down the driveway easily. I hope if anyone does take it (that'll be a trick) they don't knock down my little pine that's nearby.

Maybe I should put a sledgehammer with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 09:03 PM

You should have just cut the pole off about four feet from the ground, sanded it a bit to encourage rust, and called it an installation piece of post-modern deconstructionism. That's what I'm doing with the ex-satellite antenna post in my back yard: it's an "object d'art" and not a mud-ugly pole sticking out of the ground.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 04:25 AM

Yep. A mud-ugly objet d'art, to be sure, but art is non disputandum.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM

Why, L@@K! Up in the sky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM

It's a spinner!


23132


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:22 AM

oops!

Now


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:22 AM

That was close--I was sure several of you were hanging over your keyboards waiting to scoop that one up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 02:09 PM

No, I was out walking in the mountains again today. Gotta do it early before the fanatics arrive, all mountain biking and running and rock climbing and stuff, their MP3s blasting rock music into their brains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 06:43 PM

Good Lord, it's supposed to be 74F tomorrow!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 07:35 PM

Kind of cool, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 07:59 PM

It's 68F at the airport right now! I have windows open! I'm dyin' of the heat!

Ice cream...gotta have ice cream....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:45 PM

Where's my sweater?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:48 PM

Ah! What they used to call a "sweater girl"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 09:31 AM

Alas, poor Mom! Left alone to fret on Tax Day Eve! Fret not, cher Mama, for I have completed and filed your taxes for you like a Good Child should. Did I mention that you're getting a very nice refund? You are...quite enough for that new bone china tea set you've been wanting and a lot left over.

So cheer up, knowing that Someone Cares.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 10:02 AM

Mom's lucky I cleaned the garage and donated so much stuff, or this branch of the family would have had to pay in addition to the amount withheld. It's time to move this stuff to other good homes, especially when holding onto it when I have to pay taxes is like paying rent on it and then not using it. Know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 10:10 AM

YEah..kinda sorta...I think...


Shall the MOAB Gather at the FSGW Getaway?

There would be a lark, indeed. We could all dress up as Mormons or something...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 12:10 PM

It was hot at the San Diego Zoo yesterday -- the hottest April here in recorded history, according ton one source. It was so hot we had to buy frozen lemonade cups to continue our stroll among the carefully-architected domiciles of the various inmates.

Although sometimes I wonder. I saw on two occasions young monkeys standing thoughtfully at the edge of their fences looking out and obviously thoughtfully observing the primates on the other side of the boundary.

They were probably wondering if they should put us on the Endangering Species list, I guess.

The gorillas were torpid, lying around with their flanks pressed up against the glass, showing the leatheyr bottoms of their huge feet.

The flamingos were having a bockerfest, jumping up and down.

Down on the Pacific coast, earlier this weekend, a hundred seals lay about on the sands of what was once the Children's Cover, demonstrating complete torpor.

It was really hot.

And it is only April. I believe we have a number of miles closer to the sun to go before the height of summer turns.

Ah, woe, woe.

Al GOre would have known what to do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 12:28 PM

When is the FSGW Getaway, Amos? The way things go I'll probably have a library meeting, but it would be nice to attend if I could.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 01:14 PM

It is in October:

"The 2008 dates will be October 3-6, 2008.
The 2009 dates will be October 2-5, 2009."
From Getaway thread .




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM

Damn. Probably not.

Poop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM

You can change things. Remember who you are!! Bring about change. Think to yourself, "YES --- I CAN!!!"

You can do this.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 09:42 PM

Well, I'm not certain yet. I have to check on a couple of meetings. If I don't go to them, they'll talk about me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 12:48 AM

Well guess what? I cleaned out the cupboard over my washer and found about 1000 feet of phone cord in there. Enough to run from the kitchen way out back to the outhouse, just like Mom wanted. Martha Mitchell isn't the only one to make calls from the Loo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 09:18 AM

You could get a cell phone...just don't drop it in. They plug up toilet really bad and don't work very well afterwards. If you drop it in a real outhouse you might not want it back, but it could be interesting to call it when someone else goes in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:08 AM

Our family cabin at Lake Whatcom in Washington State had a pump house for water in the sink and a spigot outside in the boat shed for the wringer washer, but no sewer, so there was an outhouse up the hill. My brother had a big toy boat he threw in - twice. Mom fished it out, cleaned it up, but the second time I don't remember if it stayed down there or she fished it out and threw it away. I remember it was a big deal at the time. (He was 3 and I was 5.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:08 AM

How'd you get the pump house for water to fit in the sink? That's like getting an elephant into your bathtub, isn't it? Not exactly like, I know, but a lot like?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:14 AM

Amos - you just have to use a little logic. The drain makes a hole in the sink, right?

Well - most sinkholes are pletnty large enough to fit a pumphouse in. So you just situate the pumphouse in the sinkhole!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM

I guess anything's possible if you use enough torque, ole buddy.


:D

In other news, global warming has now been cancelled.


A


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