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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 15 May 08 - 10:03 AM
Amos 15 May 08 - 01:29 PM
Acme 15 May 08 - 01:33 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 01:47 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 04:01 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 05:38 PM
Little Hawk 15 May 08 - 06:23 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 10:07 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 12:06 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 12:11 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 09:22 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:04 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:12 AM
Amos 16 May 08 - 10:24 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:30 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:46 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:56 AM
Amos 16 May 08 - 11:51 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 11:53 AM
Amos 16 May 08 - 01:27 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 02:12 PM
MMario 16 May 08 - 02:46 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 03:19 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 08:26 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 08:36 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 08:40 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 08:56 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 09:06 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:20 PM
Acme 17 May 08 - 02:38 AM
Acme 17 May 08 - 09:16 AM
Amos 17 May 08 - 10:18 AM
Little Hawk 17 May 08 - 11:29 AM
Acme 17 May 08 - 11:37 AM
Little Hawk 17 May 08 - 11:39 AM
Amos 17 May 08 - 12:26 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 08 - 03:00 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 04:58 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 08 - 05:12 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 06:09 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 08 - 06:11 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 09:55 PM
Acme 17 May 08 - 10:50 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 11:01 PM
Amos 17 May 08 - 11:02 PM
Acme 18 May 08 - 12:06 PM
Amos 18 May 08 - 02:56 PM
Amos 18 May 08 - 07:43 PM
Little Hawk 18 May 08 - 07:54 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 10:03 AM

MOM!!! Rapaire is being sanctimonious and condescending again!! Cancel his tickets!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:29 PM

Rapaire is o'er the ocean flying,
Hi ho, hi ho hum.
It ain't much fun, but it sure beats dying.
Hi ho, hi ho hum.
When he reaches the land of Erin's daughters
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
He'll drink his full of their toxic waters
Hi, ho, hi ho hum

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.

And when Rapaire to Dublin comes
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
They'll play a fife and beat a drum
Hi, ho, hi ho hum
But when the gardai see his heat
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
They'll snatch his ass right off the street!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.

So now Rapaire to us is lost,
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
The law he broke, the line he crossed!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
And weeps in Mountjoy Gaol 'til dawn
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
Fending off brutal Leprechauns!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:33 PM

Think he'll have a Wilde time in gaol?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:47 PM

It'll be a gay time for all, no mistake. He may not get an OScar, but he could end up being one...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 04:01 PM

Hey, Mom!! You can stop crying...Rapaire isn't gay yet, as far as we know...we were just speculating what might happen if his rash obsession with weapons of manual destruction were to end up leaving him locked up with a cell-block of rabid leprechauns, ya know, but it might not happen...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 05:38 PM

Hey Mom! Don't worry about being half-way down the page again. Rapaire isn't here top ag and upbraid you. And any football player knows half a down is better than none.

So here's five yards for ya!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 08 - 06:23 PM

I want to see him locked up in a cell with Shane and Don McBride. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 10:07 PM

Cruel and unusual punishment is not condoned by the United States, Little Hawk. It violates basic human rights, according to our Constitution.

We could water-board him, though... Justice Scalia says that is not punishment.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 12:06 AM

Yeah. It's all a matter of semantics, right? ;-)

Just like invading a country that has never attacked you or done you any harm whatsoever, and supposedly doing it to stop Weapons of Mass Destruction that in fact don't exist is not........... terrorism?

Just a matter of semantics. So you call these people you invaded and whose country you have wrecked "terrorists" when they fight to get your soldiers out of their country.

Just a matter of semantics.

Then you call people in your country who oppose continuance of that unlawful action..."appeasers". Can you have appeasers on behalf of the victim of an unprovoked aggression????? That's hard to figure!

Just a matter of semantics.

The key principle behind fascism (other than ruthless use of armed force and unquestioning worship of the nation's military) is to tell outright absolute 100% lies that are the diametrical opposite of the truth, to accuse others of the crimes you yourself are committing, to do it with complete panach and with utter assurance. You will be believed by a surprising number of your own people if you do that.

Just a matter of semantics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 12:11 AM

Hey, MOM! I've been out kicking the Mudcat fire ant mounds tonight. So to speak.

Duck and cover. I collapsed the mounds for CarolC and teribus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 09:22 AM

Nothing gets through the constructed world view of some people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:04 AM

No news from Rapaire? I hope he isn't in gaol already--he didn't get time to tell MOM hello from his hotel or a cafe somewhere. She'll be disappointed.

How's that hole in the porch, MMario?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:12 AM

Faster repaired then I - I've got a bunch of lacerations on one leg, hypoerextended thigh muscle on the other - but nothing broken; just left leg limited in motion right now and at random moments decides not to support any weight. Makes walking - or even limping, "interesting"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:24 AM

Poor old MM hurts his thigh,
Falling through the porch,
Now he limps as he goes by
Falls and hurts his zorch.
Pray his future has aplomb
From such harm him sparing;
He has this akin with Mom,
Both need some Rapairing.
Life is lonely, life is cruel,
Hardly ever fair.
May the future find us cool,
And in good Rapaire.




I know it's pathetic -- I was trying to fill the gap Rapaire has left, of generating really jejeune solipsistic verse. Writing badly is hard work, I will have you know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:30 AM

On the other hand - my Yahoo group has over a thousand members - that's up 500 from april 1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:46 AM

It's never too late to learn to write bad poetry, Amos. That was a fine attempt.

What Yahoo group, MMario? The Yahoo International Porch Menders Guild?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:56 AM

MMarioKKnits


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 11:51 AM

Wow! A thousand rabid followers, screaming for praise from their Leader, begging for your adulation, your blessing, your recognition.

DOesn't that just shake your skivvies?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 11:53 AM

I tend to swing between awed incrudulessness and sheer panic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 01:27 PM

As the old saw sayeth, good man of Emms, "some have greatness thrust upon them". Unfortunately even the sage who first said this could not foresee that it would be by a horde of maniacal knitters with long sharp needles. So, even though it is immortality itself which is offered, proceed, as you say, with due caution. Remember the old carpenter's maxim: "Knit twice, and purl once...".



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 02:12 PM

Ahhh! Amos' purls of wisdom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 02:46 PM

Humiliation is the abasement of pride; mortification. The state of being ..humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is thus the process of being made humble. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery and embarrassment.

I think a cetain someone doesn't understand the word. If one is not aware of being humbled, or mortified; or if one just doesn't feel that way, can one be humiliated without their knowledge?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 03:19 PM

Thanks! I see the ability to respond has lapsed, probably the best thing for that venue. "Hubris" is a term that comes to mind when reading her demand that the entire unexpurgated content of her posts be studied before one is entitled to respond in any negative way to any of her recent statements. Talk about a hyperactive id!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:26 PM

Gnarbling the gnarfs again, are we? I thought so. There has been a surfeit of that lately. More than an abundance. An exessive amount. Such gnarblification does little to amend the general impression that has been created which is that things have gone rapidly from bad to verse around here!

Shape up or ship out, I say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:36 PM

Isn't is useful that hints and euphemisms don't turn up in forum searches. You're less likely to get them thrown back in your face out of context. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:40 PM

Whilst navigating non-sequitorial shoals it is wise to keep one's eyes peeled at all times for the sudden emergence of a rampant skeelk. And one's vorpal blade at the ready, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:56 PM

I know. Thank you. I have been warned, after all.

Why on earth does Starbucks have a two-tailed mermaid? I never go there and don't pay attention to the logo except that JunK started that thread. I see Don's point, but I can't say I've ever seen a two-tailed mermaid anywhere else.

Too bad Rapaire isn't here, he knows everything. HE could answer my question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 09:06 PM

Stilly, I am not making any allusions (subtle or otherwise) to your recent disagreements with CarolC. I am simply having fun composing utter doggerel and blathertwaddle for its own sake. No hidden meanings are woven in it waiting to be found. At least, none that I am consciously aware of.

I am attempting to rouse Amos from his sartorial torpor, casting my line hopefully into the briny depths where he rests waiting, like a Moray Eel in his cave, for some unwitting lunch to go by. I am trolling for the sesquipedalian flounder.

As for the two-tailed mermaid, yes...that is very odd indeed. But I don't find it offensive. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:20 PM

Oh, well. What's the point in having my very being at Mudcat threatened with abject humiliation without grousing about it a little?

I grew up in Seattle before it was such a big coffee slurping city (I moved away in 1980). I can't afford the fancy tea (I don't drink coffee) at the place so I rarely go in unless it is an airport or hotel where I'm passing through. So I didn't pay much attention to the logo. I should know this, but I'm sure a search will only hit the coffee shops--isn't Starbuck a character in Moby Dick? Yes, I looked him up. He's one of the mates. So maybe the symbol should be a whale, not a piece of tail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 08 - 02:38 AM

Night, MOM. Turn off the TV and get some sleep. I'm sure there won't be a story about Rapaire getting out of gaol so soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 08 - 09:16 AM

Wake up MOM, you're slipping down the page.

Where is that Rapaire? You'd think by now he would have found an Internet Cafe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 10:18 AM

The mermaid chosen by Starbucks is two-legged with scales and fins on the legs, which is an alternate version from the past, a Siren call. Don't forget that the big danger of mermaids was that they would lure you into the sea to become their lovers. Hence the necessary equipment.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 08 - 11:29 AM

Starbuck was the First Mate of the Pequod, the next man in line after Captain Ahab. I always liked Starbuck. He was probably the single most likeable character in the story, a voice of reason and sanity in a situation that steadily became more and more insane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 08 - 11:37 AM

LH, I heard a politician (I wish I could remember who he was!) quote from Moby Dick a few weeks ago. Probably on Moyers' program. A very apt, very good quote. I though "I have to read that book again," so I picked it up at the library. I'll start it soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 08 - 11:39 AM

That was Chongo, Stilly. He frequently quotes from Moby Dick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 12:26 PM

Whereas Shane is more inclined to quote from Schopenhauer!


Oh what tangle we create
Imagining our fond playmates
And what a sorry dance and tune
WHen each one pops like a child's balloon.



Lipton Sine Ceres,
"Waxing Without Wax"
Punjab Publications, 1918

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 02:56 PM

So now you only need nine more posts to score a "C". To some people this would be a bating opportunity. To others--we who have so long striven, so often spoken, so deeply cared for the long history of MOAB -- who have shepherded through hundred upon tens of hundreds time and again -- it's nothing to be wrought about. You're dealing with hardened veterans here, ones who can trace the finest thread of a trace of a wild connotation for hours, over the sheerest deadpan.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 08 - 03:00 PM

What in the world are you blabbering about???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 04:58 PM

Little Hawk, some remedial ed:

"C" is the Latin symbol for 100, decimal.

In the past some people contributed to small-time threads by making a large deal about posting the 100th (or 200th) post to them.

The MOAB is way beyond all that, but Mom likes the little things to be noticed to.

Hence my essay on the sturdy Mudcat souls who have built a thread which dwarfs the imagination of the merely hundreds-obsessed.


All clear now?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 08 - 05:12 PM

LOL! Yes, okay, quite clear. My goodness, the things we spend our time with...

So, whaddya think about Chongo's chances in the wake of Gorilla Gate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 06:09 PM

He's toast, dude. If he even enters the race, those nasty stories about the April 1931 3 AM firefights in the garage on top of Chinga's underground speakeasy, that cost the North Side some of their best gorilla gunners, will come out, and he'll be indicted before he even gets nominated. My advice would be to stay cool and keep his ears down--as far as possible, anyway.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 08 - 06:11 PM

I fear you may be right. (sigh) The poor little guy is gonna be so down. He really figured that he could make a difference if elected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 09:55 PM

Every time I'm half-way down,
Oh, oh, half-way down,
Then I hear a posting sound
Half-way gone to the bottom.

Every time I hear the sound
Oh, oh, half-way down
I know my time has come around
Half-way to the bottom

CH:

Half-way! Half-a-way!
Know I'll be climbing back some day
Half-way!! Oh, half-a-way,
An' I won't stay on the bottom.

And when my time has come around.
Oh, oh, half-way down,
I know no more I'll be sinking down
Half-way to the bottom

And whenI know I will sink no more
Oh, oh, half-way down,
'Tis then I arrive on the top-post shore
From Half-way to the bottom

Half-way! Half-a-way!
Know I'll be climbing back some day
Half-way!! Oh, half-a-way,
An' I won't stay on the bottom.

Half-Way Down
from "Spirituals of the MOAB Singer Tribe"
by Randall Media-Basso
Ettiquot and Quovadis, Epson Downs, 1973


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 08 - 10:50 PM

Mom, just stopping in to say g'night. I'm bushed. I turned over the new veggie bed area and planted about half of it. Did a lot of other stuff today, including a good deed (my old flat panel monitor still looked fine, it just wasn't working with Photoshop. I gave it to a friend with a 7-year-old Gateway and a humongous CRT monitor on his work surface. When we made a run to the donation center for him with a mattress he wanted to get rid of, he gleefully added his old monitor to the stack.

Gotta finish planting tomorrow. The bed looks good, and has a soaker hose embedded under the mulch. Looks almost scientific in it's design, if I say so myself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 11:01 PM

Now gone the grace of Stilly Sage,
Who righted every error.
Now still the voice of King Khandu
Who ruled this land with terror...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 08 - 11:02 PM

Now quiet is Rapaire's bold roar
That once with fancies thundered.
And I alone am left to post
Twenty-three and six hundred.

G'night Mom!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 08 - 12:06 PM

He certainly is silent. I've heard they have computers and telephones in Ireland. Maybe Rap really is in gaol.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 08 - 02:56 PM

OK, that's it. Tell Rapaire his vacation is canceled and he is to report in via the nearest hotel WAN or Cafe hotspot immediately. Clearly, it was a mistake to approve his leave request; this operation is mission critical and he is smack-dab in the center of the critical path. Tell his wife I said, "Sorry".



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 08 - 07:43 PM

MOM!!!

I am getting tired of being the only one around here -- this place rattles like the Playboy Mansion the day after an AIDS scare.

TWWEEEEEED!!! Come back hyah, you heah?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 08 - 07:54 PM

I could talk to Mr Shatner and see if he is willing to drop in for a bit so you would not feel so alone?


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