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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 Nov 08 - 10:32 AM
Amos 28 Nov 08 - 11:34 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 08 - 12:51 PM
Amos 28 Nov 08 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 08 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 08 - 04:42 PM
Amos 28 Nov 08 - 07:07 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 08 - 08:06 PM
Amos 28 Nov 08 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 08 - 09:23 PM
Amos 29 Nov 08 - 12:19 AM
Acme 29 Nov 08 - 01:16 AM
Amos 30 Nov 08 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 08 - 10:42 AM
Amos 30 Nov 08 - 05:10 PM
Acme 30 Nov 08 - 06:18 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 08 - 06:48 PM
Amos 30 Nov 08 - 08:20 PM
Amos 30 Nov 08 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 08 - 09:13 PM
Amos 30 Nov 08 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 08 - 10:15 PM
Little Hawk 30 Nov 08 - 11:24 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 02:07 AM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 09:27 AM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 09:56 AM
Acme 01 Dec 08 - 01:11 PM
MMario 01 Dec 08 - 01:20 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 01:59 PM
Little Hawk 01 Dec 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 03:13 PM
Acme 01 Dec 08 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 03:39 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 03:40 PM
MMario 01 Dec 08 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 03:44 PM
MMario 01 Dec 08 - 03:45 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 03:47 PM
Little Hawk 01 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM
MMario 01 Dec 08 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 04:03 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 04:14 PM
MMario 01 Dec 08 - 04:39 PM
Little Hawk 01 Dec 08 - 05:39 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 06:48 PM
Little Hawk 01 Dec 08 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 07:08 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 08 - 07:12 PM
Amos 01 Dec 08 - 07:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 10:32 AM

I saw a GREAT video on turkeys on the History Channel's "Modern Marvels" on Monday night last. They are even using the feathers for insulation and remains such as feet, feather quills, and bones for biofuel and fertilizer. Granted, I wasn't all that enthralled with the recipe for turkey testicles, but as they say in France, "Sacre bleu! Le gout Americaine! Donnez-moi les escargots, s.v.p.!."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 11:34 AM

A great turkey recommended video!! Just what I wanted!! (Oh, no!! Was that in my outloud voice????)

Well we have slept off the GUiness, the cornbread, the white-meat, the two salads, the asparagus and the frozen yoghurt pie and pecan pie and ice cream.

Gained two pounds. For those too young to remember, that is like gaining 40 shillings or 480p. Which explains why I was up and down all night. Or, it could have been the Guinness. In any case, a lot of p.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 12:51 PM

Will you still fit in the kayak?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 02:22 PM

Certes!! Mine is a sit-on rather than bundle-up-inside type--a Cobra Navigator in Danger Yellow. It could hold someone twice my weight, but it would carry them a good deal closer to the water.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 03:30 PM

Very nice! It's not nearly as long and slender as the kayaks I'm accustomed to seeing, and it looks very stable, practical, and seaworthy. Must be a heck of a good way to exercise the upper body and cardiovascular system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 04:42 PM

There's only one REAL boat. Everything else is pretension.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 07:07 PM

Rapaire:

THis thread is for BS. If you want write absurd propositions you will have to start a separate thread. That cake-pan, a boat? Talk about pretensions!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 08:06 PM

You think that what you call a "kayak" is a boat??

Have you even been out on the Mississippi in one of those modified stale hot dogs when a genuine Midwestern thunderstorm blew up? Or do you think for one minute that it would survive an ice storm on the Great Lakes? I don't supposed you've ever tried to land a ten-foot-long catfish or even a foot-long gar in one of those soi-disant "kayaks", much less a sturgeon or spoonbill. As for duck or goose hunting or checking levees for leaks during flood time or taking stuff up to the camp, well, fuggedaboutit.

Start with a REAL boat, say a 14 footer with a 7.5 horsepower kicker (max, oars are better) and work your way up to, say, 32 feet and a 16 or 20 horse motor. And get one of the GOOD motors -- the kind you wrap a rope around to start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 09:11 PM

The little you know, sirrah, is revealing its true dimensions. Compared to that cake-pan of yours, a sea-kayak is indestructible. As for fish, I have an agreement established during my years as a commercial diver--I don't eat them, and they don't eat me. But that is no reflection on catching fish from one. As for landing fish, explore around here and you will see that fish of sognificant mass are often landed by kayak-fishers.

I, however, do not use mine for such cruel delights.

In my youth I graduated from small sailboats off the Maine coast to deck-hand, watch officer, and eventually skipper of vessels up to 150 feet long, the last being a fine converted triple-expansion North Sea trawler which I had the pleasure of running around the Med from Malta to Rhodes and from Corfu to the Straits of Gibraltar, cruising the Straits of Messina, crossing the Isthmus at the Corinth Canal, and eventually running her up through the lowland sea to land in Kobenhavn, where I left her.

So I think I have some perspective on your challenge. The sea-kayak is not for challenging the elements, but for harmonizing with them in reflection and a quest for a better connection to the ever-changing rhythms of the Whole. Thus, the secret in every true seaman's heart: only the sea shows the truth of change, because every instant pretends only to itself, and never pretends to false constancy. In this truth, the sailor finds the release of being one with the kaleidoscopic cross-currents of life itself, taken as he is and accepting each instant in its own wholeness, following the great lesson of the Sea.

No, the sea-kayak is a small reminder of the greater lessons learned on deep blue water, on night-watches in a gale or dawn watches in a summers sleepy haze. But it is a truthful reminder, and suitable to an older man now bound to the ways of the land.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 09:23 PM

You "landed" a 150 foot ship in Kobnhaven?

Is THAT what happened to the docks there? Would a better skipper have left her afloat instead of landed? Is that why you fuss around in play boats now?

I know about life at sea, about standing watch in the winter gales of the North Atlantic while searching through ice-encrusted binoculars for the tell-tale wake of a U-boat's periscope. About being ice-bound off the shores of Boothia and listening as the ice crushed the very keel and timbers of the ship. About riding the wild storm with the sail ripped to shreds and the rudder nearly gone, the oarsmen all that kept us from wallowing in the troughs of the waves to o'ertopped our mast. And I know too of the pleasures of the quiet harbor and the joys of sacking, rapine, and burning villages before we returned, treasure laden, from going a-viking.

Or the quiet of The River, when the stars above go on forever and me and Huck and Tom paddling like mad to avoid being run over by a steamboat.

Do not think I am a landlubber, sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 08 - 12:19 AM

In your brain, but by the sound of it never in your blood and flesh, sir. Else you would not be quibbling with semantics. Not a sailor's way, sir.

But you have read all the right tales, which is more than some can say.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 08 - 01:16 AM

I preferred Huck's raft down the Mississippi in Huckleberry Finn. What an adventure that was!

But I think you both ought to consider the functionality of the little Welsh Coracles that were a little dab of woven material that got people across some pretty big bodies of water in a pinch.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 10:26 AM

I always thought a coracle was an unwanted growth in one of the chambers of the heart. I see now how wrong I was.

(Nahhh, I knew that.)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 10:42 AM

Fa! You flatlander mangers du porc speak coracles, which we call bull boats, but even our women make and use them while you only talk about it! And before you say, "He's stretching the blanket again," I will tell you I know these women!, Jill in particular, and they will do to ride the river with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 05:10 PM

From a world of books to viewing the world AS a book is a slippery slope indeed, cher Homme des Livres. Reading tales of the sea makes you not a white more a seaman. Neither does playing battleships in the bathtub.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 06:18 PM

MOM! I'm so glad to see you alive and well! I could see you earlier bit I couldn't reach you. No number of attempts would let me post to the thread to give you the boost up the page. I'm glad you don't appear to have suffered from a dunking, if it indeed happened.
(Or did you have your bull boat handy and float along till someone pulled you ashore?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 06:48 PM

Looky here, pilgrim. Take a gander at other pages of that website with the bull boat and see what our women out here do. Peek at them inflating bladders with the chilluns or dressin' out a buffler. And if iffen you ain't never rid out a ice storm on the Mississippi while in a john boat you ain't never had no naughtycal experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 08:20 PM

..or for that matter, making deep-chested noises like John Wayne.....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 08:39 PM

"Our women", Monsieur Liseur?? Pair'aps you weesh to explain 'how eet is zat not one of them is carrying your brand?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 09:13 PM

You mean the Em Pee El Connected With A Rocker of the Library, a brand registered with the Idaho State Brand Board and which, if you were to use it here in Idaho I would be justified in stringing you up to the nearest tree and/or telegraph pole and/or gatepost?

Or do you mean something else which escapes my recognition?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 09:56 PM

Well, you ar ethe one who is claiming ownership of these women, Monsieur; ownership, I might add, which none of them acknowledge. So I scarcely think you have grounds for threatening me. Perhaps, having metaphorically rustled the women of the WFT, you are projecting guilt?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 10:15 PM

"Our women" is used in the same sense as one would use "our gallant fighting men" or "our daughters and sons" or "our songs" -- indicating a metaphorical collective possession rather than indicating actual individual ownership (which, given the unconstitutional nature of slavery and my own repugnance to it, would make me a criminal deserving of the harshest punishment).

I realize, of course, that Things Are Different in California and so I took the time to explain my usage of the phrase. If you are in further need of education and enlightenment, may I refer you to my esteemed colleague Mr. Little Hawk? While not particularly intelligent he usually attempts to do an adequate job of education and enlightenment whenever he is sober.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 11:24 PM

That I do, and I am always happy to render assistance to those less fortunate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 02:07 AM

I see that you and your sawd=off companion are quick with the glib answer, but even though this is so, I suspect you are, indeed, woman rustlers at some point in your lives, perhaps in the last few years.

The WTR will know for sure. The Women Texas Rangers have a file on every woman rustler that ever forced a maiden to change her last name.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 09:27 AM

Then they don't have a file on me. My wife never changed her from her maiden name and she forced me (at gunpoint) to keep my own as well.

"Sure now, Mary, and why wasn't Sean at Mass this morning?" asked the Irish priest.

"Ah, Father, Sean died last night."

"Ah, Mary, and sudden was it?"

"That it was, Father, that it was."

"And did he have any last words, Mary?"

"He did, Father. He said, 'Mary, now put the gun down.'"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 09:56 AM

Now you've done it for sure, Rapaire--opening the MOAB to Paddy jokes. For shame!!!!

"Good evning, Ma'am. Be ye the widder Brannigan?"

"Sure, I am Mrs Brannigan, but no widder."

"Ah. Well, jes' wait til ye see what they're bringing up the stairs..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 01:11 PM

Has the boat stopped rocking now that the weekend has passed? Can MOM take off her flotation device?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 01:20 PM

i'VE BEEN AWAY (IN 1842) SO HAVE BEEN PERUSING AND CATCHING UP WITH THINGS. (damn capslock!)

Anyway - to digress....

woman rustlers.

They are rustling WOMEN now? Wasn't it bad enough when we only had to contend with cattle rustlers and horse rustlers? Now they are rounding up and stealing WOMEN? This cannot go on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 01:59 PM

It's just Rapaire, MM, no "they" there. He tried to claim ownershuip of the whole clutch of women who can be seen on the WFT site linked upthread. But then he retreated into a babble of semantic justification.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:11 PM

Amos is employing his usual smokescreen of bafflegab and disinformation, trying to distract the public from focusing on something much closer to home, his recent sordid affair with a sluttish female chimp who runs a bordello in Milwaukee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:13 PM

BE fair, Little Hawk. It is true I alone am responsible for documenting Chinga's colorful history, and CHongo's sordid role in it. But you have no evidence at all for your scurrilous aspersions, sir, nor could any such evidence exist, as the entire dirty fairy-tale is a putrid figment of your own gutter-bound imagination.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:35 PM

I'll go tell MOM to take off the vest. She looks like Mae West on steroids in that thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:39 PM

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I blew up eight miles of British rail, I shot at five British soldiers, I burned down two British Custom Houses...."

"Would ya stop talkin' politics and get on with yer sins, man?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:40 PM

We here in the US, LIttle Hawk, are still celebrating our recovery from a bad case of electile dysfunction.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:41 PM

I go away on a little time travel and on return I'm reeling...

Mae West on steriods - the mind boggles.

And the whole Chinga/chongo thing has me so confused. If Chongo isn't real, then how can Chinga be his sister? But Didn't Blake Madison share a couple of Cases with Chongo? So maybe Chongo *is* real and Chinga isn't. Except I've heard to much about Chinga....no one makes up stories like that.

The next thing you know someone is going to claim that Mylie Cyrus and Hannah Montana are the same person. (Then how come they did a tour together? I mean, they were both onstage at the same time, weren't they?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:44 PM

"How many of ye are down in that hole?" asked the Irish foreman.
"Three," came the answer.
"Well, half of ye come up!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:45 PM

And to top it all off, According to the news someone assassinated Bullwinkle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:47 PM

It was that imaginary Vice President, Sarah Palin who done it, MM. All of WOnderland is in mourning.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM

Yes, that is truly the most shocking thing I can recall happening since...since...well, in a very long time. Something has GOT to be done about that Palin woman!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 03:51 PM

Is anyone really sure Palin isn't Natasha in deep cover?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 04:03 PM

Why would you want to be under deep covers with Palin?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 04:14 PM

It was another one of Little Hawk's jejeune fantasies, Rapaire. They keep leaking into the World, like miasmic odors from an over-full septic tank.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 04:39 PM

BTW - the Dutch/Manatee plot against the dry world seems to be succeeding - Have you seen the pictures from Venice?

My parents left just in time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 05:39 PM

We have it now, folks. Photographic proof of the existence of that slut, Chinga. Watch this revealing video. Most of it concerns Chongo himself cracking wise with the bartender at the well-known club "The Monkey Bar" in Chicago....but who should appear for a few brief seconds at the beginning? Chinga. She is heard talking at 0:05, then appears at 0:06, and it is clear that she is talking on the phone to a would-be "john" who ain't got the cash to afford her dubious favours. (She's also smoking right under a "no smoking sign!) All I can say is, that bird on the phone has got to be pretty damn short on funds, cos I've heard that she'll do it for a fiver. He's also gotta have no taste at all when it comes to women. Her blonde hair is 100% phony, just like the rest of her game.

Check it out:

Chinga caught on film!

Chinga can also be seen in the background in other scenes, sitting at her table with an unknown chimp companion. There is no indication in the film that she or Chongo know one another or have any interest in one another, though they are in the same bar that evening.

It is plain that Chinga is nothing more than an ambitious pro skirt on the make who is looking to get some coin off Chongo now that he's become famous for being the first primate candidate for president of the USA. She's in it for the money, folks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM

MWahahahaha!! Those guys are really good!! But, come on, Hawk. You know damn well that ain't CHinga, and that ain't Chongo, neither. The chimpette is far too ugly, and the chimp far too good-looking. Jeeze, you really stretch a long bow sometimes, man. Know what I mean?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 06:48 PM

"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and
Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."


There ya go, LH.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 06:59 PM

You should have that one mounted on a bronze plaque on your own desk, Amos, as a constant reminder. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 07:08 PM

Mit der dumheit kämpfen die götter selbst vergeben.

You may quote me on that if you wish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 07:12 PM

Spitzen zeigen Vorwärts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 07:17 PM

Somebody take away his verdamt Babelfish bookmark, huh?


A


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