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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Jan 09 - 06:10 PM
GUEST,Corridus 25 Jan 09 - 06:12 PM
GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press 25 Jan 09 - 06:50 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 07:02 PM
Amos 25 Jan 09 - 07:59 PM
GUEST,Veronica Rutledge 25 Jan 09 - 08:26 PM
GUEST,Corridus 25 Jan 09 - 08:36 PM
GUEST,Colonel-General Helena Smyte-Withers 25 Jan 09 - 08:47 PM
Amos 25 Jan 09 - 08:49 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 09 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 09:59 PM
GUEST,Veronica Rutledge 25 Jan 09 - 10:26 PM
Amos 25 Jan 09 - 10:28 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 09 - 10:31 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 25 Jan 09 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 10:44 PM
Amos 25 Jan 09 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 09 - 10:52 PM
GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press 26 Jan 09 - 12:24 AM
Acme 26 Jan 09 - 12:24 AM
GUEST,MOM 26 Jan 09 - 12:52 AM
MMario 26 Jan 09 - 08:44 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 09 - 09:01 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 09 - 09:05 AM
Acme 26 Jan 09 - 12:53 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jan 09 - 12:58 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 26 Jan 09 - 01:24 PM
Donuel 26 Jan 09 - 01:29 PM
Amos 26 Jan 09 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 09 - 05:23 PM
Amos 26 Jan 09 - 08:53 PM
Amos 26 Jan 09 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jan 09 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 08:38 AM
Little Hawk 27 Jan 09 - 08:45 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 11:27 AM
GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.) 27 Jan 09 - 12:22 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 27 Jan 09 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 03:32 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 03:58 PM
GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.) 27 Jan 09 - 04:09 PM
Amos 27 Jan 09 - 04:09 PM
Amos 27 Jan 09 - 04:30 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jan 09 - 05:02 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 05:33 PM
Amos 27 Jan 09 - 06:29 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 09 - 09:52 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jan 09 - 12:33 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:10 PM

Chinga would definitely not fit inta that high-falutin' scene over at Knightsbridge. Mind you, she don't fit in nowheres that is one step outta the gutter, if you get my meanin'...

I didn't get to meet Ms Penelope Rutledge when I was in the UK. I wasn't movin' in the right circles. Too bad, cos I think she woulda been impressed.

Looks to me like the tribe's are gatherin'. The Little Hawk tribes, I mean. That don't happen often. This place is liable to go downhill fast. I should blow this pop stand before the crap hits the fan, but I'm havin' too much fun and I wanta see what happens next.

Same old story. ("Pour me a stiff one, Hilda, and I'll have one ready fer you after the place closes.")

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:12 PM

I'm not sure I want to hang around with such seedy company either. But...having been cryogenically frozen for the last couple of years, I am ready for just about any kind of entertainment at this point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:50 PM

This is, I think, the perfect juncture to announce that I, Hector Ballsworthy of the Independent Press, the most courageous publication in the entire UK (if not the world), have uncovered BRAND NEW and UNDENIABLE EVIDENCE that ties the Rutledge clan and the notorious Wellington-Joneses to the secret order of !!! Lizard People !!! who are running most...no, all of the societies of the western world from the highest levels through their mind control techniques and their management of the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of England, the Masonic orders, and the international banking system.

You will surely recall my groundbreaking revelations in that same publication back in 2005 which revealed...among other things...that Penelope Rutledge, the beautiful patrician daughter of one of England's oldest families, had been selected, unbeknownst to her, to be married to the notorious and inhuman Lizard Man, Winston Wellington-Jones in a satanic ceremony! This was done so as to enrich the reptilian bloodlines with the unique Rutledge genetic strain which goes all the way back to the legendary King Arthur...and quite possibly to Charlemagne as well, thence to none other than Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene, and prior to that, Gilgamesh and the Queen of Sheba.

But that is only scratching the surface! Watch for my new book coming out shortly that will reveal much, much more. Yes, I, Hector Ballsworthy, am the ONLY man in the UK who dares bring you these stories, and the ONLY man in the world who has ever faced down a Carswellian Horde of fungoids on the bare heath armed only with an umbrella, a ballpoint pen, and a guide to the London underground.

The point of all this...what IS the point you may ask? Well, I am going to tell you.

Are you ready for this???

ARE you?????????????

You are. Very good. Stiff upper lips well in place? Seated just in case? Right, then!

The point of all this is simple. Penelope Rutledge has produced NO child in her loveless marriage with the monster Wellington-Jones. Do you know what that means? It means that her life is now in the most grave danger!!! The Lizard People are not patient beings, nor do they have any human feelings at all, and they will not allow much more time for their evil machinations to go forward. MARK MY WORDS! If Penelope Rutledge is not pregnant by December of 2009, she will be sacrificed to the Lizard God, most likely at Stonehenge or some similar site! And then her niece, Veronica Rutledge, a mere girl at this time who is naive and inexperienced, will definitely be the next innocent target for their hideous scheme of producing Rutledge-Lizard progeny via Winston Wellington-Jones! I promise you that if Penelope Rutledge does not bear a child before late 2010 that she will die hideously and her niece will be subjected to a fate WORSE THAN DEATH!!!

You heard it here. Hector Ballsworthy. The Independent Press.

Do not stand aside and ignore what is happening to your England and our world! Take a bold stand. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 07:02 PM

O-kay. Whatever you say. That's right. Now just sit down, take a couple of deep breaths, and the nice nurse will be by any moment now with your medicines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 07:59 PM

Rapaire, soften the points on those Crayolas, would you? We don't want these figments hurting each other...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Veronica Rutledge
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 08:26 PM

What rubbish! That idiot Ballsworthy is completely and absolutely mad! Or he has a criminal mind. Or both. He should be locked up for life like some terrorist fanatic! It's disgraceful how he hounds the upper classes and generally pesters the real people of substance who hold up a shining example in society that others less fortunate may follow.

He makes me sick! I have just drawn a very unflattering depiction of Hector Ballsworthy on a lavatory wall here (I shan't say where it is) and I have taken the liberty of depicting him with his pants just fallen down around his ankles. The observer will note that he is wearing NO knikkers at all! And guess how large his miserable little dangling thingie is? It's tiny! Almost microscopic. Ha! Ha!

I hope you get to see this picture I have drawn, Hector. I hope you see it in the trashy papers soon.

The suggestion that my Uncle Winston would ever do THAT...to me...is absolutely disgusting and ludicrous! We're family, you know. It's unthinkable! Besides, he's WAY too old and he smells of cigars! True, he can be cold at times. Some have called call him "unfeeling" or "ruthless". Some would called him worse. I don't think Aunt Penny really likes him at all anymore and he does acquire a somewhat reptilian glare when you cross him, but he is still, after all, her husband, and he bought me a new Porsche when the old one sank to the bottom of the bog that it unfortunately went into one day. It's bright pink. The new car, I mean, NOT the bog! I have decided it's time for a bold new statement in automotive fashion. The old car with the Zebra stripes was getting sooooo OLD, sad to say. I hardly miss it at all.

Hector Ballsworthy is just mad and jealous because his family never bought HIM a Porsche!

TTFN! *Veronica


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 08:36 PM

Odd. I keep getting that feeling of deja vu. Like I've been here before.

Perhaps it is one of the aftereffects of the cryogenic freezing process. One thing I did notice right away was that I was ravenously hungry! Come to think of it, though, that's not unusual.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel-General Helena Smyte-Withers
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 08:47 PM

DATE: 25 January 2009
TO: Veronica Rutledge
SUBJECT: Enlistment

1. Your name has been put forth as a possible enlistee in the Idaho Legion. As I am sure you are aware this is an honor not given to everyone.

2. You would, of course, have to take and pass the Entrance Examination, but I do not think that you will have any trouble with that.

3. You will also have to demonstrate adequate physical fitness as well as pass a medical examination.

4. There will be no cost to you if you accept this invitation, and the records will be destroyed if for some reason you fail any of the examinations.

5. Because of your familial connections you would, after successfully completing Basic Training, be commissioned as an Ensign; I would expect further promotions to follow rapidly.

6. Please inform me of your decision at your earliest convenience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 08:49 PM

Well, then, Little Hawk, would you like to color Corriduys a nice "tan skin brown" color? Or perhaps mauve? And that pink for the Porsche? That would be grand. Yes, you can add a doggy if you want, but it must be a kind and gentle doggy--we wouldn't want Corridus feeling unsafe, would we?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 09:56 PM

Amos, are you quite all right? This is a friend inquiring. You seem to have crossed synapses between two unrelated storylines. This is worrisome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 09:59 PM

Did I mention


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Veronica Rutledge
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:26 PM

Dear Colonel-General Helena Smyte-Withers, I am honoured that you would have thought of me. Question: Are you sure it isn't Smythe-Withers? There were some Smythe-Withers in Twilligsgate for years...until that unfortunate business with the mysterious son they kept chained in the dungeons. He got out one night and I am told that NO one survived. Absolutely no one. It was awful. They still talk about the nightly howling...but I'm getting off-topic. Sorry!

1. Your name has been put forth as a possible enlistee in the Idaho Legion. As I am sure you are aware this is an honor not given to everyone.

I blush to say that I wasn't even aware it was an honour given to anyone until I heard from you. It must, I suppose, be quite prestigious?

2. You would, of course, have to take and pass the Entrance Examination, but I do not think that you will have any trouble with that.

No doubt. I'm sure I should do quite well.

3. You will also have to demonstrate adequate physical fitness as well as pass a medical examination.

I am "as fit as a fiddle", to use an expression Aunt Penelope favours! Isn't that cute! ;-) I love it when she says that. My last medical examination turned up nothing of note. Thank heavens!!! Just joking...ha! ha!

4. There will be no cost to you if you accept this invitation, and the records will be destroyed if for some reason you fail any of the examinations.

Cost is no object. However, I would be glad of your generosity. There is no danger of my failing. I am, after all, a Rutledge. I am an accomplished equestrian, a fine gymnast, and a "certified lunatic behind the wheel" (I quote dear Aunt Penelope, who fails to appreciate my unique driving skills...)

5. Because of your familial connections you would, after successfully completing Basic Training, be commissioned as an Ensign; I would expect further promotions to follow rapidly.

Yes, I expect so. Do you have Admirals? Field Marshalls?

6. Please inform me of your decision at your earliest convenience.

Well, my decision hangs on a number of matters.

1. I'm presently attending classes here in England and I will not be free until next spring.

2. I need to talk to Aunt Penelope and Uncle Winston about it and see what they think. Not that I shan't make up my own mind about it, but I'd like to see what they say about Idaho first.

3. What would my duties be as a member of the Idaho Legion? Would I be required to join the "War on Terror"? Aunt Penelope is violently against it and Uncle Winston is violently for it. This creates a conflict of interest that is frankly, quite tiresome, and I would wish to avoid getting mired in that sort of thing. (In any case, I think it's inane to make war on an emotion! That's what Aunt Penelope says, and I believe she is right. Uncle Winston gets awfully mad when she says that and he says it's not about that at all, but that's what a man would say. They're all afraid of looking bad in front of their wretched "mates", you know, so they get all bellicose and dramatic and talk about how they would have had Bin Laden YEARS ago! Bla, bla bla. Most of them can't even find their way to the loo, truth be told!)

TTFN! *Veronica


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:28 PM

No, I was peeking into your ward, sorry if you felt compromised.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:31 PM

Rapaire - No, I don't think you


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:35 PM

FFS! Will youse all shut up fer awhile! Get a flippin' LIFE, eh?   Hey, Rapoop? I got two words fer you. Just two words. You ready?

FLIP OFF, YOU LOOSER!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:37 PM

These medications are quite messing with my whatchamacallit -- mind, I think it is. If not that I'm not sure what it is. But a personal invitation from Smyte-Withers is unheard of. I wonder about what that thing is about the snow we've gotten, about 8" of the wet white. It's quite enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:44 PM

Shame (or whoever you are), gentlemen do not bother with cowardly, drunken poltroons except to kick them off the sidewalk and back into the gutter where they can lay in their own stale vomit.

You have been posted and have done nothing about it, even though a more-than-generous offer was made to allow you to rectify it. I even went to more than a little personal expense to find you and allow you to prove your manhood and courage, and you were nowhere to be found.

The offer is open-ended. You may even chose the weapons: swords or pistols, but I assure you that I will continue until Third Blood. Please, if you wish to engage me, have your friends (should you have any) contact me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:44 PM

goldfish, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:47 PM

Oh, dear, dear. This entire family is unraveling at the memetic seams!! Rapaire is drugged and all of Little Hawk's characters have un-submerged at once and are demanding primacy; the poor lad must be quite embattled, trying to juggle talking hamsters, fat Canadians, and condescending nouveau-riche limeys all in one fell swoop with a blithering scumbag Beaver int he mix to boot. And Rapaire's usual solution of grandiose delusions of solipsistic grandeur won't work while he is on painkillers. I think we better call int he Secnd String for a while. Maybe we could get a message to Bunnhabain and Rustic Rebel and Tweed and have them do the heavy lifting while our pioor lads recoer from what is obviosuly an extreme case of Slow-Accumulation-Traumatic-Stress-Syndrome.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:52 PM

But it might have been carp. They're related.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:24 AM

Of COURSE they are related! THAT's the key! It is through the management of carp...artificially gilded carp I might add...passed off as goldfish and distributed to pet stores and Chinese restaurants worldwide, that the Lizard Men plan to secure ultimate power! Each fish will carry a small microwave and radio transmitter that will beam their mind-control program in all directions.

But.....and this is no small but....they still LACK the vital infusion from the Rutledge bloodlines! It truly horrifies me that that only thing standing between us and our collective enslavement or annihilation as free homo sapiens on this planet is one shockingly conceited high society woman in a state of perpetual denial....and her even more shockingly conceited and naive niece who is concerning herself with dreadful rubbish like a bright pink Porsche and 789 pairs of frightfully expensive shoes! It is tragic. These are the people who should be leading us out of the darkness into the light of hope, resistance, and triumph over the Dark Overlords, and what are they doing? BUYING PINK PORSCHES and dreaming about remodeling a country inn!!!!!!!!!!

Am I the only one left who is sane?

Send your thoughts and your monetary support to Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press, 12 Horse End, Bollockshatham on Tweed, Kent, UK.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:24 AM

To quote my text message savvy daughter:

OMG!

It's like watching a slow motion train wreck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOM
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:52 AM

Little Hawk and Rapaire,

Both of you ARE going to restart your Seraquel tonight, or I'll know the reason why!

Amos, stop bogarting and pass that to me. My nerves is all a'flutter....thankee, Stilly, my lovely daughter, for this nice cup of chamomile tea.

Janie and MMario, it is too late to be out on the back porch guzzling cheap Merlot, get in here now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 08:44 AM

It was cheap cabernet.

I was in the grocery store saturday and as usual thee are a bunch of people shopping with their cell phones glued to their ears....Do you know some of them SPEAK in "text"?   I kid you not, one woman is standing in the aisle going "oh em gee! oh em gee! I'm ell oh ell!"

*shudder*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 09:01 AM

I understand that C-G Smyte-Withers has offered membership, even an Ensignship (and more) in the Idaho Legion to Veronica Rutledge.

Ms. Rutledge should know before she accepts (and it REALLY IS a very high honour indeed!) that her tolerance for alcoholic beverages, crude behaviour (including the notorious "Reverse Peristalsis Target Shoot"), riding horses bareback (and I mean both horse and rider) and other pastimes, will be sorely tested. The entrance physical is given at the medical school in Salt Lake City (University of Utah) and is of the highest caliber, primarily I suppose to avoid future lawsuits.

HOWEVER: some of the members include the late Colonel Reg Glorybear, a Native American who won both the VC and the MOH at Belleau Woods; Sergeant Nicole Wooden, who in addition to enduring her parents odd sense of humour saved the lives of Sir John Franklynn and his crew when they were trapped in the Arctic; Hector Messinger, four-time Olympic Gold Medal winner in Equistrian; and Aethelred Proudly, Lord Merdhall, who won the Nobel Prize in Economics for his discovery of the "Trickle-Down Theory".

Ms. Rutledge would be in good, even great, company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 09:05 AM

eye was ess oh ell once until eye said eff eye eye'em gone.

I think it was the baleen. I'm almost sure of it now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:53 PM

My son discovered this morning that if you leave orange juice in the fridge just long enough that it hits a point of fermentation right before it goes rancid or spoils or whatever old orange juice does. He thought that one and only mouthful tasted like orange alcohol, before he spit it out. Just as well he spit it out--chances are it isn't just alcohol, it probably isn't good for him at that point.

But hey, this is something new for the backporch gang to try out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:58 PM

There was a kid in our junior high who kept an entire bottle of orange juice in his locker through the school year. It turned all kinds of amazing colors as time went by, but after awhile no one dared open it. It was donated to the gym storage room at the end of the year, where I suspect the janitor found it and disposed of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 01:24 PM

I'll keep this brief and to the point. Veronica Rutledge is not going to join the Idaho Legion. Not now. Not ever. Kindly refrain from making further ludicrous offers of enlistment. Thank you very much.

- WWJ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 01:29 PM

A week after calling for the total failure of Barak's America, Rush Limbaugh cals for change, unity and bi-partisanship. The dark overlords seem to have whispered "...or you're fired!" in his ear.

Corporate America needs him to be popular enough to call for the lion's share of the stimulus plan to go to Corporations. They are also calling for dropping the capitol gains tax. ?
Just who is getting any capital gains these days?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 03:38 PM

Capital GAINS???? The very idea is slimy in the current environment.

Because anyone who is making them is making them on the back of a LOT of broken 401Ks and jobless souls.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 05:23 PM

Test for PTH. That could show what's up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 08:53 PM

Hot barley soup, with home grown hand-sliced carrots and tomatoes and chives, seven-grain bread with fresh country butter, and a nice sherbert with chopped walnuts, Mom. There ya go!! Enjoy!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 09:56 PM

Inmeandering through the ancient Jungles of MOAB I came across a Great and Ancient Calumny, buried in vines and overgrown with mosses,.

As I cutt away the thick creepers and tore the leaves away from its weathered surface, lo!! It was of the Ancient One they called, in those days, Tweed of Tweed's Alley!!

In sooth, this is what the wse and ancient Tweed said unto the MOABITES:

"From: Tweed - PM
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM

Penelope Rutledge iz a harpy of the lowest order, Liddle Hargue, and my mos' saje device to you iz stay clear of her. Her tongue is lined wif straight razors and she swills raw Sterno straight from the can. Thar iz no depth obv depravity thet this woman will sink to in order to cut the balls off ob a man, or beast, fish or fowl.

I hab suffered horrible from her scabrous attacks in the passed an' am only now recouped inough to eben respond in a sesnble manner to yore query.

I ain't sure what or who "She" iz but I would not trust her wif my goat nor sleep next to her fer enny lenthg ob time!

Yerz,
Tweed"



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 10:41 PM

Tweed and Penelope Rutledge carried on a vicious feud for years on Mudcat. He would insult her in the most vile fashion, uttering gross untruths about her appearance and character, and she would respond with icy contempt and cross-cultural ridicule directed at his presumably crude lower class origins, and so it would go...as predictable as the relations between Israel and Hezbollah or Hamas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 08:38 AM

I didn't realize Ms. Rutledge was Jewish and Tweed was Muslim. Imagine that: a Muslim bluesman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 08:45 AM

(sigh...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 11:27 AM

Woke up this mornin'
Imam got me down
Yeah I woke up this mornin'
Imam got me down
I got them Imam blues,
Yeah, I got 'em bad....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.)
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 12:22 PM

Winston old boy, the girl is quite of age to do whatever she wants. And being nominated to the Legion IS quite an honour, you know. Very few without military gallantry are even allowed through the portals, even fewer allowed to a sip in The Room.

Besides, she can tell you to go to hell -- you know that she has her own Trusts and Income which neither you nor Penelope can touch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 12:48 PM

Ah, Nigel, my good man...how are you? I see you've been knighted for your sterling services in Iraq and elsewhere. Jolly good!

Yes, of course Veronica is, as we both know, a damnably determined young woman (like all Rutledge women) and she would probably do whatever she pleases regardless of what I have to say about it...but consider, man!

They refer to "her tolerance for alcoholic beverages, crude behaviour (including the notorious "Reverse Peristalsis Target Shoot"), riding horses bareback (and I mean both horse and rider) and other pastimes"

Do you see Veronica or any other Rutledge woman engaging in such activities? I don't. It's laughable to even think she would volunteer to join this depraved collection of dipsomaniac cowboy ruffians from Idaho and ride around naked for their amusement. I was simply advising them not to further waste their time on what is clearly a futile notion...or more to the point, not to waste my time. I don't actually give a damn how much of their time they waste. I would assume that all of it is wasted already, so it's a moot point, isn't it?

I think that idiotic journalist, Hector Ballsworthy, has something to do with it. He is simply trying to provoke some kind of scandal, as usual, to embarass the upper classes, and he may have paid the Idaho Legion some paltry bribe to make this ridiculous offer to Veronica. I expect they can easily be bought with enough cash to secure a bottle of cheap American whiskey. I could buy them off myself, but why would I? They don't deserve being given that much attention or importance.

- WWJ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 03:32 PM

If I wasn't feeling so lousy I'd be following something here with great avidity. I don't remember what, though. Something about collies, I think. Or maybe it was colliers. Not the magazine, it's been out of business for years. Collier collies with collars?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 03:58 PM

Coolies' collared collier collies collection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.)
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 04:09 PM

Winston, Ballsworthy is an idiot and a fool "whose buzz the witty and fair annoys, yet wit ne'er tastes and beauty ne'er enjoys" (as Pope wrote). Drop a brick on his head or ignore him; I recommend the latter as that sort of person suffers more from inattention than from anything else.

As for Veronica, may I suggest a good university college? Perhaps Girton (the late Queen Mother was given the first degree awarded there), or even a women's college in another country?

The Idaho Legion, as I can say from experience, is not what it pretends to be. It's much more like Brooke's than anything else, and membership IS quite restrictive and becoming moreso.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 04:09 PM

Perhaps you would feel better if you hooked up with an internal-combustion rhythm section. The tractor turned out to be first choice after extensive auditions.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 04:30 PM

HEy Mom:

I am back from the surgeon's where the Doc cut a tiny slit in my cornea, scrambled the lens and sucked it out and slipped in a new lens in its place. Right now I am still a bit cross-hatched from the Valium, and the cornea, having swollen a bit, is still reporting things in a bit of a blur. But the healing process will be quick, and I will have a bright clear and unclouded field of vision coming in from my right eye, which has been clouded by cataracts of late, and myopic all my days. I am wearing a clear plastic shell over my eye which makes me look like a half-hardware Borg. ANyway, I am quite excited about having clear vision.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 05:02 PM

Excellent. Now you will see William Shatner in a far better light, I expect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 05:33 PM

Suddenly, everything became clear to Amos....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 06:29 PM

And for some reason he stopped posting altogether!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 09:52 PM

There is no Amos. Shame is dead, and Amos doesn't exist because he can see clearly now, the pain is gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jan 09 - 12:33 AM

He couldn't face living in a world without Shane...

If only he had known that Shane still lives! If only.


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