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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

freda underhill 09 Jun 04 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 04 - 09:29 AM
Amos 10 Jun 04 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 04 - 11:43 AM
CarolC 11 Jun 04 - 11:21 AM
Amos 11 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 12:34 PM
CarolC 11 Jun 04 - 02:16 PM
Amos 11 Jun 04 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 04:39 PM
Amos 11 Jun 04 - 04:54 PM
Acme 11 Jun 04 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM
Amos 11 Jun 04 - 05:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jun 04 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 06:16 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 06:18 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 04 - 06:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jun 04 - 06:21 PM
CarolC 11 Jun 04 - 06:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Jun 04 - 04:31 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 04 - 09:25 AM
Amos 12 Jun 04 - 09:49 AM
Acme 12 Jun 04 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 04 - 05:30 PM
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt 13 Jun 04 - 10:05 AM
khandu 13 Jun 04 - 03:01 PM
Amos 13 Jun 04 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 04 - 06:33 PM
Amos 13 Jun 04 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 04 - 08:27 PM
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt 13 Jun 04 - 10:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 04 - 01:09 AM
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt 14 Jun 04 - 10:27 PM
Amos 14 Jun 04 - 10:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM
CarolC 14 Jun 04 - 11:05 PM
Rustic Rebel 14 Jun 04 - 11:25 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 04 - 12:10 AM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 12:16 AM
GUEST 15 Jun 04 - 01:07 PM
CarolC 15 Jun 04 - 01:52 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 02:55 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 03:12 PM
GUEST,MMario 15 Jun 04 - 03:20 PM
CarolC 15 Jun 04 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,MMario 15 Jun 04 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 04:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 07:00 PM

It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life,
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother.

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild,
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

..I'm My Own Grandpa
( Lonzo & Oscar )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 09:29 AM

They got code inspectors? Where kin I git me one? What happens if the inspectee fails the inspection? Kin we start with Microsoft?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 10:24 AM

If code fails inspection on eof three things happens:

a. Code is thrown out and ordered whoilly rewritten.
b. Code is thrown out and unit abandoned.
c. Defects are listed and ordered remedied for later inspection.

As I get older I find myself more inclining toward b.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 11:43 AM

You and me both, Amos. You and me both.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 11:21 AM

The HILLS are alive... with the sound of MUSIC....



...aww bugger... nevermind...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM

CC:

Sort of a musical polemic, there?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 12:34 PM

It simply cannot be a coincidence. The probablitity that it is not approaches certainty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 02:16 PM

Did you see my magic writing Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 02:19 PM

Now I have; how sad and funny!! LOL!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 04:39 PM

Protein folding is one of the great unsolved problems of modern biophysics. A better understanding of the protein folding problem has potential biological, biomedical, and industrial applications. An understanding of the mechanisms by which proteins naturally achieve their functional folded states can be expected to yield insights into the prediction of these folded structures directly from amino acid sequences, and to permit the design of medically useful proteins. The molten-globule state we have studied is implicated in the mechanisms of folding as well as the aggregation of improperly folded proteins, both of which have medical relevance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 04:54 PM

IF you are interested you can donate your computer's unused CPU cycles to figuring out the mysteries of protein folding by download the correct version of the application from Folding at Home and running it in the background or as a screensaver. That way you join thousands of other participants in calculating out the mathematical computations of protein folding. Here's a URL:

Folding at Home at http://www.stanford.edu/group/pandegroup/folding/


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 04:57 PM

Or you can step over to the Mudcat Tavern and leave the protein to fold itself. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM

Organic origami.







Why are you looking here? There's nothing here of either use or interest. Go the to tavern!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 05:24 PM

I think that should be oregano, organic, origami, origamos, origamez, origamiunt...more or less. Clearly the second person singular is irregular. Actually this whole thread is highly irregular.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:00 PM

I don't know anything about protein folding. In fact, I know very little about proteins. Nor do I wish to be enlightened regarding proteins via the MOAB. If I decide at some future date that I am suffering from acute knowledge-about-proteins deprivation I shall seek to further my education via this Interweb thingie.

But what I do know a lot about is carbohydrates. What I know about carbohydrates is this: If you manufacture a food product and can come up with even the most bogus way to add the term "low carb" or "carb counting" to the label, you can charge at least a third more than your plain old not-so-low-carb version of the same thing even though it probably doesn't cost a penny more to make the low-carb version. Regular Ragu roasted Parmessan cheese sauce, $1.68. "Low-carb" Ragu roasted Parmessan cheese sauce, $2.75.

Insanity! Brought to you by the same gullible jump-on-the-bandwagon American public that brought you the war in Iraq and Ronald Reagan's Funeral Week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:16 PM

They roast parmass..parme...that Italian cheese now?

Ya see, Bee-Dubya, carbohydrate folding will be the next Big Thing. Folded carbs will give all the benefits of unfolded carbs, but they'll only have half the carbohydrates. Or less, depending on how they're folded. You take your average pizza, say, and you fold it in half. Obviously it will have only half the carbohydrates of an unfolded pizza. Same thing with folded pretzels, folded Wonder Bread, all them carbs you know and love. Even folded high-carb beer! Folded proteins are the first step to folded carbohydrates, and if you don't understand fold proteins you're going to miss the Folded Carb Boat. You'll be poor for the rest of your (un)natural life. Your pots will break in a puny cone 1 firing. Your dog will not die, but will be very sick to the poor thing's tummy and it will throw up all over your new carpet. Your beer will be moldy and foam all over your good pants. Your car will age. So learn protein folding today, and teach organic origami to your friends, if any. Just send me USD 500.00 in used, unmarked, small bills to cover shipping and handling, and I'll have your FREE protein folding information kit off to you faster than you can say "Jack Robinson" (always assuming that you would want to say that, of course).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:18 PM

Ah, Guest, if folks don't like us, why do people emigrate here? And why do you hang around?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:20 PM

I do not understand how my last post, which to the "Western Stupidity" thread, ended up here.

Strange and wonderful are the works of computers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:21 PM

Actually, it's roasted garlic and parmessan. They roast the garlic. Not the cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jun 04 - 06:30 PM

"There's carbohydrate in fruit juice? This hardly seems fair. Carbohydrates are supposed to be fun and useless, or bread. As Charles Young said, it's like finding a cheeseburger in the medicine cabinet."

--LR Mole


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Jun 04 - 04:31 AM

I can't quite comprehend the bullshit-pen right at this moment (except later I would like to comment on this statement...often have a vague look about me)
But.. I would like to raise a glass, a bottle, a shoe, whatever is near and will compensate for a stein and raise it to Ray Charles.
Personally I feel more of a loss for Ray than Ronnie but go figure....Anyway
Happy trails Ray...until you sing again

often have a vague look about me.
Can't remember who said it, but what is a vauge look to anybody. Makes me want to rhyme incredible with unforgettable. Vauge doesn't go with that rhyme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 04 - 09:25 AM

I'll join you. I'll raise a whole hogshead. Ray Charles was, in my opinion, lots more important that Ronnie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 04 - 09:49 AM

I'' buy that -- here's to Ray, who taught us all how to sing. Dang.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 04 - 04:18 PM

We should take this to the tavern--they have more types of booze over there than on this thread. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 04 - 05:30 PM

We got Absinthe, Anisette, athol bose, akavit, Amoretto, Aragnac, Brandy, Benedictine, beer, Bourbon, Bailey's, cider, Creme de whatever you want, Cognac, Curacao, Drambuie, daminana, eau de toilette, Everclear, elderberry wine, Frangelico, Galliano, Grand Marinier, Goldwasser, Guinness, gin, hazelnut, Irish, Japanese plum, Jaegermeister, kirschwasser, Kummel, Kahlua, limoncello, Liqueur 44, margaritas, madrono, melissa, noisette, nocine, orange, Pernod, prickly pear (thorns left in), rum, rhubarb wine, quince wine, sambuca (both black and white), Scotch whiskey, shrub-rum, sloe gin, tequila, Tanqueray, Trappistine, Tia Maria, vodka, vermouth (dry AND sweet), whiskey and whisky, wine, xylene, yellow Chartreuse, and zammu.

If it ain't listed, we've still got it, 'cause I didn't list everything we got.

Mix a shot of each together and drink the result right down. Not only won't you sober up for at least a week, the hangover will last long after you're dead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 10:05 AM

HO! What have we here? Berries ripe for plucking, by Odin's eternal tool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 03:01 PM

The etomology of "berzerk' is "bear shirt"

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 03:48 PM

Khandu, you whacko sunofabitch, what the fock are you doing with your head that it keeps ending up stuck up your butt? I mean here you start this whole kingdom, all these hijinks, the longest thread known to man, yadda-yadda-yadda and then you disappear practically forever and when you finally surface all you can do is intone a lesson about ... ETYMOLOGY?? I Mean, what is wrong with this picture??? Jeeezus Crissmas, man!! At least talk about something sensible like icthyology. Whatever. How about explaining where the fock you've been all this time? We can parse our our own linguistic archetypes! Whassup wit' you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 06:33 PM

Maybe he meant "entomology."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 07:06 PM

Oh, right, Rapaire, he's gonna start discussing insects in Norse mythology next, right? Yeah, yeah....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 08:27 PM

What, you've never heard of the Ragnarok cockroach? The Dutch Yggdrasil Borer? Mjollnir Beetles? Goodness gracious!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 10:45 PM

By Njorddattar's twin tits, but this is a mighty place! When I stumbled upon it I thought it nought but like Ginnungagap, but it is filled with such song and wisdom as might found in Breidablik itself!

Come! Let us drink and sing! Einherjar, raise a toast! And those who will not drink with Harald Bearshirt will be sent as emissaries to the Master of Freki and Geri, dispatched thereto by Bearshirt's Longtooth!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 01:09 AM

I would like to be the first to bid welcome to our guest, Hard Old Bearshit. Since this thread is almost entirely about gooey fresh bullshit, it's refreshing to hear a contrasting viewpoint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:27 PM

Do you mock Harald Bearshirt?

No, I do not think you would do that. It is really very funny, Hard Old Bearshit. You may call me that.

Hard Old Bearshit. I like that.

Bee Dubya Ell, your name is as funny as Hard Old Bearshit. I like you. Wouldst like to go a-wenching or a-viking? I have Waveskimmer and twenty oarsmen, good with steel sword and bearded axe. You shall have a full share of drink or food or loot!

Hard Old Bearshit has said it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:43 PM

Beats working for the military industrial complex and fighting clot-brained Republicans!! I'm signing up if Bear Shit will have me. This adds a new dimension to the BS of which we are the Mother...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM

Thanks for the invitation, Harald Bearshirt. I apologize for misreading your name earlier. Mild dyslexia and dirty glasses, you know. Anyway, I've sworn off drinking and wenching but the viking sounds interesting. I've never viked before. Do I get to wear one of those helmets with horns on it? Maybe get to chunk throw a few spears? (I keep forgetting it's not politically correct to say "chunk" and "spear" in the same sentence.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:05 PM

Odin's eternal tool

Interesting possibilities with that one...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:25 PM

But, but, hard old Bearshit is really funny.
Bee-dubya please don't apologize, I thought you were really funny.
Really funny is as good as it gets.
Really funny bullshit is better than, as good as it gets.
Taking any bullshit as intended, is really, really the best as it will ever be, and consider it an honor if you will, to be getting the best bullshit given or getting around here.

Hard old bearshit is a stumbling block in the woods. We can and will walk around it, unless we fall first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 12:10 AM

12 posts to Shatner....
12 posts to Shatner....
12 posts to Shatner....
And we'll all get ripped!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 12:16 AM

ELeven for the eleven positions, oh....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 01:07 PM

Oh a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm
a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm
a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm

and we'll all hang on behind....

AND WE'll Roll the old chariot along
We'll roll the old chariot along
we'll roll the old chariout along and
we'll all hang on behind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 01:52 PM

AND WE'll Roll the old segway along
We'll roll the old segway along
we'll roll the old segway along and
we'll all get run over by security guards at the airport going 20 miles an hour through the food court on their way to goodness knows where...

(click on "Watch Segway HT in Action" in the upper right corner)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 02:46 PM

That is one beeyootiful piece of technolgoical development...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 02:55 PM

First time I've seen the Segway in action. Reminds me of the "unicycles" Heinlein wrote about in "The Roads Must Roll."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:12 PM

Did you catch the stills of George Bush falling off of one? Automated gyros can only deal with so much ineptitude... Some guys can't operate a toilet seat reliably. Who put him in the driver's seat??? LOL!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:20 PM

I doubt I could ride one. And I doubt I'd want to be around anyone ELSE riding one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:37 PM

First (and only) time I've seen one in use myself (in real life, not on video) was at the airport in Atlanta and as I described in my previous post, it was being operated by a security guard who was zipping through the lounge area/food court at a fairly high rate of speed.

When I saw it in operation, it made me think of a horseless chariot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:46 PM

as if the Atlanta airport wasn't dangerous enough already!

(I really shouldn't talk - since the time I was there they gave my sister's entire plane the wrong gate number for their transfer - and we ended up literally RUNNING to the correct gate DOWN the up escalators with her baggage carried up over our heads)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:10 PM

...99


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:11 PM

3,500! I did it! Me!


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