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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Feb 13 - 04:26 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 10:15 AM
Acme 01 Feb 13 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 03:08 PM
Amos 01 Feb 13 - 05:34 PM
Acme 01 Feb 13 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 10:23 PM
gnu 01 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM
Little Hawk 01 Feb 13 - 11:11 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 13 - 09:51 AM
Acme 02 Feb 13 - 10:19 AM
Amos 02 Feb 13 - 01:16 PM
Acme 02 Feb 13 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 02 Feb 13 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 13 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 13 - 09:26 PM
Amos 02 Feb 13 - 10:03 PM
gnu 02 Feb 13 - 10:31 PM
Amos 03 Feb 13 - 10:42 AM
Acme 03 Feb 13 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 13 - 11:27 AM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 13 - 07:34 PM
gnu 03 Feb 13 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 13 - 10:20 PM
Amos 03 Feb 13 - 11:20 PM
gnu 04 Feb 13 - 08:33 AM
Acme 04 Feb 13 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 13 - 10:00 AM
Amos 04 Feb 13 - 10:58 AM
GUEST,Ms. Penelope Rutledge 04 Feb 13 - 12:19 PM
Little Hawk 04 Feb 13 - 03:40 PM
gnu 04 Feb 13 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 13 - 06:27 PM
gnu 04 Feb 13 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 13 - 09:04 PM
Acme 04 Feb 13 - 09:54 PM
gnu 04 Feb 13 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 13 - 11:01 PM
Amos 05 Feb 13 - 12:06 AM
Rapparee 05 Feb 13 - 08:46 AM
Acme 05 Feb 13 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 13 - 09:17 PM
Amos 06 Feb 13 - 12:08 AM
Donuel 06 Feb 13 - 01:11 AM
Acme 06 Feb 13 - 09:56 AM
Amos 06 Feb 13 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 13 - 09:10 PM
gnu 06 Feb 13 - 10:16 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 13 - 11:13 PM
Amos 06 Feb 13 - 11:39 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 04:26 AM

Willie, in a fit of hell
Drowned his sister in the well.
Mother sighed, while fetching water,
"It's so hard to raise a daughter!"

Willie found some dynamite.
Didn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays.
It rained Willie seven days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:15 AM

Father heard his children scream
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying, as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:27 AM

SOB!

My pickemup truck is in the shop. Needs a front hub assembly replaced (making a noise - could loose a wheel), needs the rear axle service, and it's time for an oil change. Upwards of $900 on today's visit to the dealer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 03:08 PM

See, Stilly, if you would take out the back wall of your garage and install a door there instead you could put a grease rack in front of that back door and be able to do your own car repairs! In fact, installing the grease rack in the middle of a trench would allow you to work on the truck without using the rack for things you don't need a rack to repair. The dogs would love it, too!

No, no, don't thank me. I come up with solutions like this all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 05:34 PM

When the children freeze and shiver,
Bookeman throws them in the river,
Because it's known since days of old,
They're a dish that's best served cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:09 PM

Well THAT'S strange!

$850 for the wheel bearing, the rear differential service, and an oil change. (I had a coupon for $6 off the oil change. Whew!) They washed the truck for free, and that is the only part of today's activity that is actually visible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:23 PM

Amos, in an anger fit,
Dismembered a nasty little twit.
Mom MOAB said, her tone quite trite,
"Why Amos lad! That's not polite!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM

"I did NOT mean we should hurry UP and do it,..."

Hurry up what? Do what? Did you mean hurry up to do it?

Yes, that is pedantic. Annoying, idnit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 11:11 PM

Speaking of pedantry, "idnit" is not proper English!

50 smacks with the ruler on your bare behind!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 09:51 AM

Be very aware that LH likes that kind of thing.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 10:19 AM

Have some buttermilk pancakes and a cuppa English Breakfast tea, MOM. It's a lovely day so let's roll!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 01:16 PM

Ya know, the way you and Rapp stuff these high-carb breakfasts down her throat, Mom is seriously gaining weight. She's laid on several stoners since 2008.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 01:22 PM

No she hasn't, she's just wearing a really baggy sweatshirt this morning. With all of the vigorous work around the house and yard and hauling drunks upstairs to bed (yes, youse guys when you've tied one on. . .) she's very fit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 02:19 PM

Oh, STOP it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 02:37 PM

LH, Mistress Birch awaits you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 09:26 PM

I should not pick on Little Hawk that way. He's not a product of the English public schools. Amos, on the other hand, admits to spending his youthful summers in France, the Land of Lechery and Surrender.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 10:03 PM

Gee, LH, wassamaddah you? Ya don't like imag8nary anthropomorphicisms? Oh. my. Fancy that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 10:31 PM

Slang and the portrayal in written word of local dialect is far at odds with pedantry kind sir. Idnit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 10:42 AM

Well, spell it right --innit--and all will be forgivern. Or do they actually sound a D in it?c


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 10:57 AM

LH, what are the dachshunds up to? Let's get back to real characters for a couple of posts - perhaps that will help calm you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 11:27 AM

My friend Mary's dachsie had to have three vertebrae fused in his neck. After SIX WEEKS of crate rest, even being carried to the yard, he's now his old self. However, he expects to be waited upon and carried out into the yard. That is, of course, no different than before the operation and the crate rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 07:34 PM

Ah, yes...Dachshunds! They're like a breath of fresh air to a stale room, aren't they? Lovely little creatures. What are they up to? I suspect they are hatching new schemes for acquiring FOOD, the main concern of a Dachshund's life. And stolen food always tastes better! Thus, a Dachshund is, by definition, a thief...and proud of it.

Anybody watched "W" lately? Or "Game Change"? I found them both very interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 08:57 PM

What are those things you ask if I watch?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 10:20 PM

I didn't watch the Super Bowel. I didn't watch anything about people living in swamps or so far back in the hills the sun sets between them and the road. I didn't watch Fox News. I am, however, watching print on paper and the mountains off in the distance and the snow melting and lots of other stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 13 - 11:20 PM

I watched the SUper Bowl--I think this is the first year in which I have watched more than snippets of one. What an intriguing contest? Clashing Titans and collisions of cleaver strategies and brilliant manuvers under high pressure. And the sheer brute force of it!! Why it's better than watching lions eat Christians, I'm sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 08:33 AM

"... of cleaver strategies and brilliant manuvers under high pressure. And the sheer brute force of it!!"

Indeed.

"Yankee football is as much a game of chess as it is a game of physical prowess."... Me


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 09:56 AM

I participated in the supper bowl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 10:00 AM

Cleaver strategies? Meat or butcher? Or did they finally take my suggestion and use battle axes? Or...The Beaver wasn't playing tackle football again, was he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 10:58 AM

SOme of the tackles and blocks I saw would fall under the butcher category. Anyway, it is a granfaloon event, a bubble of hot air wrapped in thick muscle and sweat and money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms. Penelope Rutledge
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 12:19 PM

I saw snippets of it. I must say that those "tight ends" are attractive, in a visceral sort of way! Leave it to the Americans to be so forthright in naming playing positions. My niece Veronica also seemed to enjoy the show, as she went down to the pub to view it on the telly there. She must have stayed over with friends, as she hasn't come home yet. I do so hope that she didn't run into that awful Hector Ballsworthy chap, a cad of the first water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 03:40 PM

Yes, Ballsworthy is continually stalking and pestering the Rutledge clan, seeking to prise information out of their domestic staff, spreading dreadful rumours about supposed human sacrifices, and generally making an utter pest of himself. Something really should be done about it. Can't Winston talk to some of his old friends in the SAS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 05:50 PM

Red Berets and Ascots for that job. Swoop down and terminate him with extreme prejudice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 06:27 PM

Perhaps she meant "a cod of the first water." Cod live in water, but cads are everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 06:34 PM

I have an AutoCodd program for designing and drafting fish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 09:04 PM

Fish driving automobiles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 09:54 PM

Fish driving? That would be a driving school?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 10:10 PM

nd these are the little ones

WTF? That long post gone? OOOOOH yeah... WIN 8 is just great!

Anyway... to recap the gist of it... I bought frozen Jack Smelts today rather than the fresh $5.49 a pound little smelts. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Round smelts fer ye ferriners.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 13 - 11:01 PM

Smelts are good eating when, like anything, they're cooked right. If they're not cooked right you can use them as fertilizer.

Well, Mom, I'm off to Merryland again tomorrow morn. Well, really just after noon, local time, but I get on the shuttle tomorrow morn. Hope this trip will finish things up out there. Then we can go back for things like graduations and we can even spend Christmas in our own home without having to have surgery as an excuse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 13 - 12:06 AM

I have known folks who were in the smelter business and they assure me smelting is not all it is cracked up to be. One guy kept at it so long he keeled over in front of a blast furnace and just smelt to high heaven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 13 - 08:46 AM

Smelt is like smores, only made with ice cream instead of marshmallow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 13 - 04:11 PM

Had to think about that one for a moment.

Have a sane trip, Mike and Pat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 13 - 09:17 PM

I am now in Les Pays du Marie, je suis fatigue, et maintenant je me dorme. Et je ne carez pas about le punctuation et grammar correct, see?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 12:08 AM

Back in Maryland? Ah, si!! Entiendo que tu es un pendejo rico, mon ami.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 01:11 AM

Merryland ?, mebbe Bill and I could meet you at our Italian restaurant. Boat load of red boat load of white...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 09:56 AM

Sounds good, if a few Mudcatters can get together for a meal in a neutral place (away from the estate - they never seem to be neutral, they are haunted).

I just got up but I need a nap. Another gray day. Wake me in time for lunch, MOM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 12:06 PM

That's why God invented the FSGW Getaway, you guys! C'mon!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 09:10 PM

In the beginning there was The Song, and The Song looked upon The Music and saw it was good, and The Music and The Song created The Getaway. And They looked upon The Getaway and saw copious amounts of wine and distilled water of life and fermented grains being consumed and They were appalled, and heard singing and music being sung and played off-key and were appallered, and They said to each other, "Let Us smite these Getawayers for their sins, but if there is but one among them who is Pure and Honest and Beyond Reproach We will not smite them" and They searched and found one who was all that and more and They said, "We will not smite the Getawayers because of this one called Rapparee, for he is the one is whom these qualities bloom, and he's never strayed all he believes and he's blessed with an iron will, and if he had been made the partner of Eve, they'd be in Eden still, for there he stands, as pure as a pray'r, incredibly clean, with virtue to spare, the godliest man We know!" And so the Getaway was blessed from Above even though there was all sorts of carousing and carryings-on.
                      The Good Book: 4/4: Molto Largissimo, at 6.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 10:16 PM

"Et je ne carez pas about le punctuation et grammar correct, see?"

Hahahahahahaaaaa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 11:13 PM

Tabernac!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 13 - 11:39 PM

J'm'en crisse des batardes tetons!


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