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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 27 Mar 14 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM
Amos 28 Mar 14 - 12:28 AM
gnu 28 Mar 14 - 07:48 AM
Amos 28 Mar 14 - 10:54 AM
Acme 28 Mar 14 - 11:35 AM
gnu 28 Mar 14 - 01:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 14 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 14 - 11:37 PM
gnu 29 Mar 14 - 04:32 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 01:17 AM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 01:51 AM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 11:09 AM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 04:57 PM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 05:12 PM
gnu 30 Mar 14 - 05:24 PM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 07:08 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 14 - 10:28 PM
Amos 31 Mar 14 - 01:35 AM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 07:44 AM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 07:51 AM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 12:13 PM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 05:49 PM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 06:02 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 14 - 08:34 PM
Amos 31 Mar 14 - 08:35 PM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 09:06 PM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM
Ebbie 01 Apr 14 - 01:36 AM
gnu 01 Apr 14 - 11:39 AM
Acme 01 Apr 14 - 06:23 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM
Ebbie 02 Apr 14 - 01:57 AM
gnu 02 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM
Acme 02 Apr 14 - 08:24 PM
gnu 03 Apr 14 - 06:26 AM
Rapparee 03 Apr 14 - 12:59 PM
gnu 03 Apr 14 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 14 - 10:11 PM
gnu 03 Apr 14 - 10:49 PM
Amos 04 Apr 14 - 12:24 AM
gnu 04 Apr 14 - 06:30 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 14 - 01:39 PM
gnu 04 Apr 14 - 05:03 PM
Amos 05 Apr 14 - 04:40 AM
gnu 05 Apr 14 - 12:23 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 08:53 PM

I actually paid money for a haircut and a shave. I am accustomed to cutting and shaving mesel, but, I felt a pamper was in order after the stress of the bombogenesis (seriously, it is a real word that the weather terrorists used to scare Mum before it "snowed"). A shave with a real blade... steamed towel an all! It was GLORIOUS. He even rubbed my scalp with old fashioned elixir afterward. Fuck it's itchy. If I had known such, I would have told him the elixir was at the loss of the tip. Smells nice tho. Got that old fashioned barbershop smell. And me face is as smooth as a whore's stroke.

Percocet??? Huh? That's what college kids take to stay awake to cram for exams. ??? Hope yer doin okay, Rap. Hurry... hobble er whatever... back to good health.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:31 PM

Percocet is Tylenol and Oxycodone. I'll sell what's left over to pay for the surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM

On the other hand, I have something every gnu needs and which I have happen to share:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM

a stool softener,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 12:28 AM

Why soften the whole thing? It'd be cheaper to just put a cushion on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 07:48 AM

A box of Betty Crocker cake mix, 2 eggs, 1/3 cup oil. 1" balls. 350F for 24 minutes. Piece of cake cookies. I like the spice cake cookies. Carrot not so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 10:54 AM

Four eggs, two cups fresh cantaloupe, a cup of protein powder, some diatoms, and two handfuls of frozen mixed fruit. Blend until smooth. Serves wife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 11:35 AM

Has all of your snow melted now, gnu?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 01:57 PM

SRS... I'd go out and take a pic for you but it's snowing.

A... when I don't know what the hell an ingredient is, I don't make it. Diatom? Sounds green and slimy to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 03:15 PM

Diatoms are two atoms joined together, like diatomic hydrogen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 11:37 PM

Oh, Mom, get back up where you belong!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 14 - 04:32 PM

Is Mom's name Loretta?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM

No, Loretta is the visiting nurse who comes to care for me and wipe my fevered brow. Lauretta is my niece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 01:17 AM

It's good to have some to care. A lot of folks don't carrot awl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 01:51 AM

Diatoms - makes me think of diatomaceous earth. It turns up in animal feed and people can eat it - as long as it is the pure version, not the swimming pool filter version.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 11:09 AM

Old Utah reveals the harsh truth about Pocatello, IDaho.

Rapparree, you are disclosed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 04:57 PM

Now that the truth is out about Pocatello, thanks to the Senior Folkie of All, U. Utah Phillips, perhasps the burden of secrecy will lift from our dear friends soul, and he will find himself magically healed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 05:12 PM

I wonder if the painkillers are still working? Or if he has thrown aside his cane or crutch and is out stomping around the yard finding and throwing balls at golfers across the fence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 05:24 PM

Aha! I can POST! I can read posts most times but not often post. Not that it makes much difference, of course, given the low level of sophistication of my contributions in comparison to the scholarly and erudite posts of others herein. Why, at this very moment, the only things that come to mind are that the baked bean recipe called for too much brown sugar and too much water, the fookin snow and sleet and freezing rain weather is pissin me off, and somethin about flatulence. Oh, who am I kidding with the fancy talk?... I am fartin like a newly fracked gas well. DON'T smoke em if ya got em unless ya go out in the shite weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 07:08 PM

I'm considering making a batch of cinnamon rolls this evening. Should I post the recipe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 10:28 PM

Five hours or so on the knee-bender machine today, and up to 44 degree. Snowed all day, but the temps are high enough that it won't stick. Snowpack is about 2% above average, or was going into today. Worry about flooding now comes. But not for me, for I am a poor, crippled American veteran who fought the Commie Hoards to Keep This Country Free Like God Intended. Even though if the Commie Hoards invaded right now I couldn't do much about it, but that's why I've got Percocet. Well, that an for pain.

Amos, we took Utah around the various place here in Pocatello hoping he say stuff like that! And he did! Keeps the Californicators out, ya see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 01:35 AM

I am very glad to see that the glandular links responsible for high-speed rationalization are working perfectly, Rapparree. This is a good sigtn and means you will still be able to practice crooked law at the Idaho bar -- the one nearest your hospital.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 07:44 AM

"Should I post the recipe?" Ahyup. One can never have too many recipes. I wish Gramps' recipe was writ down. Made two pans every Saturday. One red kidney beans and one navy beans. In the morning, he would make the worst bread imaginable. No taste at all and it was tough. Seriously... tough but good fer ya. He slather it with butter or whatever. Maybe that's what meant to be... 'balanced'. He did a lot of the cooking on accounta Gramma burned most everything. That's where I learned to burn Salmon River Hash in an iron frying pan juuuust right. Delicious. Mine was simply spuds, hamburg and onions. Of course, when ya tramp thru the woods all morning and ya fire up the old Coleman stove, just about anything would taste good, 'ceptin Gramps' sliced cardboard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 07:51 AM

Oops! Rap... glad to hear you are on your way to recovery. Sounds like you are doing well at it Keep up the good work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 12:13 PM

"A starving man will eat anything" and "anything cooked outdoors tastes good" are statements I heard a lot growing up. Usually on camping trips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 05:49 PM

How's our own PT Cruiser doing these days?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 06:02 PM

PT Cruiser? I think I ran over one yesterday with my tuck. I was busy changing radio stations and heard something and felt a 'bump'. I know it was bigger than a VW but I can't be sure what it was because I never check my rear view mirror when I am in a forward gear unless I wanna change lanes. And it couldna been much bigger than a PT on accounta the truck was in 4X2.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 08:34 PM

Well folks, I'm still around. Pain wracked and with blood spurting out with every heart beat, but I'm still around. (There's a song in that: "Baby, baby, can't ya see my blood spurt?")

I had the physical therapist and the senior nurse in today and they were both impressed by how high my blood spurts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 08:35 PM

Permanently Traumatized? Partial Tyrant? Pretty Tepid? Pneumatic Thorax? Ponderous Termagant? Enquiring minds want to know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 09:06 PM

Blood?... he typed by the light of a torch whilst listening to ice pellets scratch his brain though the sound they made on the cold vinyl siding of his abode now devoid of a source of heat by Mother nature's cruel heart.

Power is out due to ice and freezing rain and the wind is howling. I am off to wrap in major wool and sleep until power is restored or


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 11:06 PM

You know, our guy who cruises the Physical Therapy unit at his local clinic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM

Stilly, I promised not to bring up Amos' various peccadilloes, but now that it's out in the open it's probably better to have frank and open discussion about this and his other "eccentricities." The neighbors are beginning to talk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 01:36 AM

Speaking of spurting blood reminds me of when I forgot to unclench my fist (They don't do that anymore, right?) when the nurse was taking out the needle- my blood, rich and red and shiny, not only spurted on her shirt front but almost hit the wall beyond. Mortifying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 11:39 AM

Nasty pics and vids from my buddies this morning. Still about 19k without power and they're mostly in the southern half of our small province. Miles of power and telephone lines down in rural areas. And a LOT of small outages in cities... near 90 in the Moncton area. A big job for NB Power. I assume crews are here from ME and PQ and beyond.

Our power came back on at 2:40 and I felt sooo relieved for Mum. I just hope it holds until we get some warm weather. Everything is covered with ice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 06:23 PM

Ew, Ebbie. Ew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM

Ebbie, when I left South Bend I asked them if I could have my seven gallons of donated blood back. They said no.

I also had this "vision" one day of someone carrying a unit of blood -- in its plastic soft-pak, nice and fresh -- who trips and the blood flies out the window and lands like a water balloon, barely mission a passer-by. That building had actual windows that actually opened!

I've had no blood leakage for the past three days but my knee is all swollen and red. Everyone says it looks great, so who am I to judge? I've never had this sort of thing done before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 01:57 AM

At one point in my life I had to undergo PT for a knee that wouldn't bend. Very painful- they seem to try to get it fixed in a week, when it took years to bind it. I decided that I can get it bendable a half degree at a time. It has worked so far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM

It's NOT!!! snowing or raining or... Temp is suppose to go up to +2 so some of the ice will melt. Down to just under 10k without power, mostly in two villages/areas.

I dunno why most everybody is shoked and surprised that we had a stretch of 'weather'. Hey, we knew the forecast for a month. "In like a lamb, get ready." they say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 08:24 PM

MOM was just about to pass out . . .




. . . of view, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 06:26 AM

I tried to rise but I was not able, Nancy had me by the knees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 12:59 PM

And other appendages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 02:05 PM

Did you mean joints?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 10:11 PM

They're your appendages. If your appendages are joints, please don't hold me responsible for what follows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 10:49 PM

Must be local dialect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 12:24 AM

A solipsist can not beg to be excused from responsibility. It just doesn't work!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 06:30 AM

Responsibility is a heavy responsibility, man.

Cheech Marin


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 01:39 PM

In creating responsibility I also created irresponsibility. Just as without my creation of "bad" would you not be able to appreciate "good" or "hunger" "plenty", without irresponsibility you could never recognize responsibility. Therefore, at times I deny responsibility for something and take for responsibility for my denial, which is only to help you in your Journey, which I control anyway, for without destination you would have no predestination (not that you do anyway).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 05:03 PM

WHAT A TREAT! Vic who lives across the street arrived with 4X500ml mason jars of pickled beets! I dashed over to Mum's and gave her two jars. I couldn't wait for supper and decided to open one. The lid was loose. ? I then got ready to pry open the seal and hear the POP and

Yeah, silence. I called Mum immediately and said I had just opened a jar of the beets and before I could explain she said, "Don't eat any. Throw them out." Now, that kinda raises a few questions in my mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 04:40 AM

Yer mum is faster on the popless draw than you are. Chip off the old block! :D

Better popless than topless, as me auld mither would say. If I paid her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 12:23 PM

Tried to post this before dawn but Mudcat went for a crap and the crows got it.

Actually, Mum even tasted a small piece but spit it out immediately and had a slug of wine. She doesn't drink except for one glass on special occasions and that often goes unfinished but she keeps a 475 ml bottle in the house just in case of bad beets. Such was the custom in most French families way back when. If you got something in your mouth that was 'off', you immediately had a goodly slug of wine. As long as you got a slug into you within a half hour, you would be fine.

The furthest I got was to smell the beets. They smelled 'I dunno' so I drained them and I smelled them again... pheewww! Garbage.

Must salt Mum's driveway before the snow and ice pellets arrive... sigh.


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Mudcat time: 22 October 2:49 AM EDT

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