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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 25 Jan 05 - 10:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM
Acme 25 Jan 05 - 09:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 08:50 PM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 08:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 25 Jan 05 - 07:38 PM
Acme 25 Jan 05 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 05 - 06:57 PM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 02:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 02:48 PM
GUEST 25 Jan 05 - 02:06 PM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 01:53 PM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 01:47 PM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 01:24 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 05 - 01:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 05 - 12:32 PM
GUEST,MMario 25 Jan 05 - 11:31 AM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 11:27 AM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 11:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 11:12 AM
Acme 25 Jan 05 - 10:56 AM
GUEST,MMario 25 Jan 05 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,Amos 25 Jan 05 - 09:24 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 25 Jan 05 - 09:08 AM
Amos 25 Jan 05 - 01:21 AM
Teresa 25 Jan 05 - 01:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 05 - 12:52 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 06:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM
Acme 24 Jan 05 - 06:11 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 06:00 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM
Acme 24 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM
GUEST,Tweed 24 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 05 - 12:18 PM
GUEST,MMario 24 Jan 05 - 11:59 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 05 - 11:06 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM
GUEST,Base 24 Jan 05 - 09:01 AM
Amos 24 Jan 05 - 01:04 AM
Teresa 24 Jan 05 - 12:34 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:57 PM

That's me holding one that I nearly mowed in my back yard a couple of summers ago. I learned that if I don't keep the grass short, they're right up near the house. I also learned that if I keep the grass short they burrow in my flower beds all summer. Three batches of baby bunnies grew up in my front yard last year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:44 PM

Hey! We have those around our place! We call 'em "cat food"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:33 PM

My eyesight is fine. But maybe Rap's physiognomy is a little off. Maybe he had a little hare removed from his backside?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 08:50 PM

Those were oyster mushrooms, RR. They grow on dead oak trees. They're just fer eatin', not fer trippin'. You want the ones that grow in cow shit. There are plenty of those in various neighbors' cow pastures during the right time of year, but it's too cold for 'em right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 08:30 PM

Fojkkit, me too. That mole don't look much like any body part I ever saw, SRS....are you having problems with yer eyesight? Or yer memory!???   :D   Or have you been habituating with anuvver species altogether with strange-shaped body parts?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 07:38 PM

I'll take a hit off that funny shrubbery please.
Oh yes! I'm wanting to get to the high point, the zenith, take me to the apogee ,the nu plus ultra. Thank-you very much. Bee-dubya, got any of those mushrooms left?


PS. Tweed and Bee-dubya-ell, your Rabelaisian is in the purest state of bullshit. Bravo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 07:29 PM

Shall we all speculate on what part was cut off until he comes back?

I'll guess it was a mole.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 06:57 PM

I'm going to bed. I've just taken some dope and I'm going to bed. Part of my body was cut off (no, not that part!) an hour or so ago and I've taken some dope and I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll get up and eat some pizza.

Later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 02:59 PM

Fuggit, then; pass the ganja.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 02:48 PM

I did not read, nor will I read, any of the preceding posts regarding Gleez. I thought I made it abundantly clear that I wish to remain totally ignorant regarding this subject so that my BS generating facilities may continue to frolic and cavort in an unfettered manner.

Knowledge is power and power corrupts. I wish to reamin uncorrupted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 02:06 PM

geez - sometimes even the BS isn't.

pass the ganja


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:53 PM

"One among many other things by which Ethiopia is known is suggested to be her literary heritage. This priceless, rare and valuable literary heritage reflects the indigenous civilization of the country. In addition to their significance in manifesting the indigenous civilization, these manuscripts written on religion, history, language, philosophy, astrology, social, economic and Political...etc. issues have got a valuable contribution for research.


a) Homily of the passion of our Lord and Services for passion week:-
The Manuscript is written on vellum in 2 columns in the Geez Language in the 15th C. The writings are bold and neat. Names and headings are rubricated. Its size is 46x33.5 cm and has 434 pages with wooden board covered with stamped leather.


b) St. Paul Gospel (Bible, New Testament): -
The Manuscript is written on vellum in 2 columns in the Geez Language in the 15th C. The Writings are bold and neat. A painted picture (drawing) of St. Paul and his followers is seen in the book. Its size is 34.6x25 cm and has 281 pages and is covered by a hard leather.


c) The Four Gospel (Bible, New Testament): -
The Manuscript is written on vellum in 2 columns in the Geez language in the 14th C. The writings are bold and neat. Its size is 29.5 x 20.3 cms and has 554 pages. The first 45 pages of the book are filled with painted pictures (drawings); particularly of Jesus Christ, his followers, Saints, Angels etc. The book is partially damaged due to manhandling."


So not only is Geez extinct, it was a liturgical language in the first place. This reminds me of the old definition of a three-time loser: pregnant nun drives Edsel.

But, ya know, whatever turns ya on, Mister L.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:47 PM

GEEZ: an extinct language of Ethiopia


SIL code: 
GEE

ISO 639-2: 
gez

 


Region
Also spoken in Eritrea.

Alternate names  
ANCIENT ETHIOPIC, ETHIOPIC, GE'EZ, GIIZ

Classification
Afro-Asiatic, Semitic, South, Ethiopian, North.

Comments
Liturgical language. Not otherwise used. VSO. Christian. Extinct. Bible 1918.


Also spoken in:
Eritrea   
Language name  
GEEZ
Alternate names  
ANCIENT ETHIOPIC, ETHIOPIC, GE'EZ, GIIZ
Comments
Liturgical language. Not otherwise used. VSO. Christian. Extinct. Bible 1918. See main entry under Ethiopia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:24 PM

The sole traceable morphemic packet which can verifiably be traced to Geez is the modern slang term, Kludge, pronounced to rhyme with "rouge", meaning a lash-up, junk-job, coping solution, clutter-ball, junk object or other indeterminate state of entropy. It has been traced to the word k'h'l'o'o'o'o'z''e in ancient Geez, pronounced Jeeze. As near as can be told the original meaning of this word in Geez was "fart", so you can sort of see how it got handed down.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:13 PM

The "G" in the word "Geez," when referring to the language, is actually pronounced with a soft "ch" sound, as in the Latau word "aliagij". In the case of the word "Geez" (in this context) the soft "ch" is overlain with a sibilant and a glottal stop-click as in the Bantu word we render as "gnu."

It might be helpful to know that the Geez language usually placed the descriptive adjectives after the predicate -- in English, a sentence would read "Bill read ugly dumb beautiful a story to Mary" while the meaning would be "Ugly Bill read a dumb story to beautiful Mary." This was not confusing to native Geez speakers, but was difficult for those learning the language to conceptualize. Also, the language used only the past and future tenses, as the world view of the original speakers had no more grasp of the present than they had of the pluperfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:48 PM

I have been reflecting upon my desire to remain as ignorant as possible regarding Geez. Why am I so adamantly resisting the urge to just type "Geez" into Google's search window and let myself be whelmed with information?

I believe that the answer is inexorably tied, in some as yet poorly understood way, to the fundamental nature of BS. Is not a certain level of ignorance a prerequisite for spouting truly copious amounts of BS? Think back to your college days. Weren't your most BS-ridden papers about the subjects which you understood the least?

Given what I know of Geez at this moment, if a college professor were to ask me to write a 200-word essay on Geez it would be something along the lines of:

Geez is an ancient Ethiopian language. Ethiopia, as we all know, is a nation on the African continent which, many years after Geez was no longer spoken there, came to be ruled by the late Emperor Haile Selassie who, for some poorly understood reason, was posthumously elevated to a a position of extreme reverence by a Jamaican religious sect known as the Rastafarians. Rastafarianism is noted for its sacramental use of "ganja" or Marijuana as part of its religious ceremonies. Other interesting aspects of Rastafarianism are its practitioners' tendencies to refer to the Supreme Being as "I" and to wear their hair in "dreadlocks". In the 1970's, a musical style known as "reggae", whose principle practitioners were Rastafarians, became extremely popular world-wide and white kids around the world began to wear their hair in dreadlocks and smoke ganja at Grateful Dead concerts. To the best of my knowledge, these dreadlock-wearing young people did not speak Gleez, though they did occasionally suffer from acute outbreaks of lice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:32 PM

My doctor doesn't want me to have either one. Can I have black raspberries, sprinkled with chambord, and served over a scone and topped with creme fraiche or whipped cream instead?

Pllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 11:31 AM

If Amos has a fudgesicle can I have one too? Only I would really prefer a creamsicle 'cuz fudgesicles don't really taste like fudge , they taste more like chalk. Now chocolate pudding pops taste like chocolate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 11:27 AM

Sorry little-mother; I was alarmed and bleeding from both lobes temporarily, and so my perspective took a beating, so to speak. I shall endeavour to behave. Now can I have a Fudgesicle?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 11:15 AM

I think a phonetician is a girl who comes to your house and touches up teh telephones so they look pretty, isn't that right?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 11:12 AM

Geez, I don't know. Heck, I don't even know if the "g" is hard or soft. I suppose it'd be easy enough to find out. After all, I am, at this very moment, connected to a network which contains so much information it makes the Library at Alexandria (where I'm sure a bit of Geez was spoken) look like a toddler's collection of picture books. But, ya know what? If we just ignore our ignorance, Amos or Rapaire will find all the answers we need and post them right here on the Mother Of All BS Threads.

Of course, there's always the possibility that Amos would say "Geez" is pronounced "Jeeze" and Rapaire would say it's pronounced like "Geese" and then we'd have a big fight on our hands. Didn't it take 279 posts to decide that it doesn't really matter if "kludge" rhymes with "judge" or "rouge"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:56 AM

Geez, Louise, Amos! to speak a little of this rarified language:

A parental tone of voice here--this site is for serious, unfettered levity. Please refrain from referring to real assholes on this bullshit thread. I'd hate to see that chaos from the rest of Mudcat bleed over into our well-ordered lives here.

I think you know what I mean. Leave it outside.

SRS

Okay, back to the regular BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:32 AM

5810!

Isn't Geez distantly related to ancient Phonetician?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:24 AM

You ain't gonna improve on perfection, senor.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:08 AM

At least once a day, whether I need it or not, just to keep in practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:21 AM

I dunno, dude, BW, man...it is just possible that when the last catalypse has been parsed and rendered into the ancient Geez phonemes, that some Cosmic Synapse will thereby suddenly be made to close, and BS as we know it will be snuffed out of existence. Poof!!As though it never existed.

Ya think??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:02 AM

To paraphrase another 'catter:

oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:52 AM

I have decided to embark upon a project which will doubtlessly take the rest of my life to complete. In fact, it is very unlikely that I will complete it by the end of this lifetime, so I guess I'll have to be reincarnated as something other than a garden slug (which was my fervent ambition) so that I may finish it.

I have set as my new life's goal, the translation of the entire MOAB thread into Geez!

For those of you not familiar with Geez, it is an ancient Ethiopian language. That is all I know about it. I learned of its existence by way of a crossword puzzle I worked yesterday. Needless to say, I neither speak nor write Geez. Nor do I have any intention of learning to speak or write Geez. That is why translating the MOAB into Geez is going to be such a difficult and time consuming project. It may well be the only time that anyone has ever attempted to translate a major work of BS into a dead language that he doesn't know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:28 PM

Enter M. G. stage right, wearing a hula shirt, yellow lei, oversized dark glasses and sahower-shoes. He strums his uke, which is slightly off-key in one string, and sings:

"I'm PROUD to be an asshole,
I'll say it loud and clear,
I'll show that I'm an asshole
To everybody here!
I DON'Tneed no agreement
Because you know its true
That even an asshole
Has important work to do!!Ohhh....EVERYBODY...."


Exit stage right, trailing his lei.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:42 PM

Please, people!

I am the President and Founder of the Be Kind To Assholes Foundation. We are dedicated to the proposition. We also stand for Our Principle: "Don't call those goddamned stupid ignorant unwashed fools and jerks assholes, 'cause true assholes serve a useful purpose." Our motto is "Where would you be without an asshole?"

Please stop denigrating assholes by associating them with such people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM

Jolly good show there, gang! But we must be ever more vigilant against the Flaming-Hole Neds of the world as we approach the 6000 mark. We must show these nouveau assholes how it's done. There's nothing nouveau about the assholiness of MOABites. We were assholes when being an asshole wasn't cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:11 PM

That's one way to do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:00 PM

HAH!!!!!HAH!!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

I say, fellows!! What stridency!!Surely we can build a kinder, gentler way of dealing with these pissant whackos, now can't we??

I just knew you'd say yes!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

A standing ovation, so to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

Big time applause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM

SRS, I applaud him for finally coming out of the closet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:50 PM

How about

Bugger off, Flamengo Flamenco Flaming Whacko Ted!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM

Howdy, Flaming
ned (or
whoever you
are). How’s it
hangin’?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM

This is post #5793 (I think) which means that we can expect a vist from Flamingo Ed, or whatever his name is, sometime soon. Perhaps we should all make a point of saying "Hi!" to him.

Hi, Flamingo Ed or Fred or whatever your name is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM

I told you it did not have a very happy ending. The poor little leprechaun. After three months in the cell he tried to coax a merry jig from the accordeen.....but it would only play "Lady obv Spain" no matter how hard he tried. He eventually attempted to hang himself by the shoulder straps (unsuccessfully) and was carted off to the Accordia State Institution for the Squeezebox Challenged, where he resides to this day, locked away in a tiny padded room where he paces and gibbers to himself in 3/4 time. There are no photos, other than the one with BeeDubya and it is probably for the better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

My god, man!!Cruel and unusual punishment!!Draconian!Gruesome story!!!


Three cheers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:18 PM

"The bodhran fellow formed an orchestra of bodhran beaters, but that is another story (with not such a happy ending, I might add...)"

Well, here's that story...

First off, if you're going to read a story about a "bodhran fellow" you need to know a couple of things about bodhrans. Like how the word is pronounced. It definitely is NOT pronounced "bod-ran". If you want to make a total idiot of yourself at an Irish music session, just call it a "bod-ran". It's a good way to guarantee that NOBODY will buy you a beer. The proper pronunciation is "bow-ran" with the "bow" rhyming with "cow". I only make a point of this because you are wasting your time reading this crap so you might as well learn something and, who knows, if you pronounce the word correctly someone might buy you a beer. You also need to know that the bodhran is played with a double-ended beater, sometimes called a "tipper". Somehow, bodhran players, sometimes known as "bodhrani", wiggle their wrists in such a way as to play really cool rhythms using both ends of the tipper. I don't understand exactly how they do it 'cause I don't play the thing. If you want an explanation, ask my wife. She's pretty good at it.

Anyway, the bodhrani in the story Tweed related was named Seamus, as are all male children born in Ireland except those named "Patrick" or "Gabriel Byrne". By the way, "Seamus" is pronounced "Shame-us", not "Seem-us". That's another way to gain or lose a free beer. And, Seamus, like all Irish-born bodhranii (Yes, that's the proper plural form, not "bodhranis". Learnin' a lot here, ain'tcha?), was five feet tall, had red hair and smoked like a chimney.

Seamus and I had some pretty good times busking around that little island, though he did get a little grumpy every now and then from having to play the same two songs over and over again. Many's the time he'd say to me, "Bee-dubya, you arsehole, when'r ya gwine ter layrn a coopla fookin' jigs? Yer aboot ter drive me fookin' batty wid naught but this 'Lady of Spain' an' 'Beer Barrel Polka' shite!" But I would just grin and keep on playing them. You see, when you're really caught up in the accordion, when your eyes are glazed over, your tongue's lolling out, and the drool-cup attached to your instrument is about half full, you don't really care what you play. You just have to keep playing.

But, as Tweed related, there came a time when my accordion and I were called upon to do grander things than play for change on street corners. Unfortunately, the vision that the Mayor of Accordia had for the Grand Marching Accordion Band didn't include bodhrans so Seamus and I were forced to go our separate ways. I can still remember the last thing the dear fellow said to me: "Bee-dubya if I ever hear 'Lady of Spain' er 'Beer Barrel Polka' agayn, I'm gwine ter beat th' fooker whut plays 'em aboot 'is head so serveerely 'eel wish 'is moother 'ad joos tossed 'im down th' well wen 'ee wuz boorn."

And, Seamus did, indeed, gather a couple of dozen other bodhranii, all named Seamus, and attempted to form a marching bodhran band. But, sadly, it just wasn't meant to be. He didn't realize that it is impossible to walk and play the bodhran at the same time. All the band-members would be playing in perfect rhythm while they were at rest, but as soon as they began to march the whole thing fell apart. So, they decided to just stand still, which led to disastrous results since most of their bookings were for parades.

After the marching bodhran band collapsed, and the personal injury lawsuits were settled, Seamus decided to retire from active bodhran playing. He bought a little farm on the island and began to raise bodhrans. Yes, contrary to what many people believe, bodhrans are not produced in a factory or workshop, they are born. In fact, their reproductive rates can be stupendous. Just consider your typical Thursday night music session at your local Irish pub. When the session first started there was probably only one bodhrani there. But then several audience members, sometimes referred to as "drunks", saw and heard the bodhrani playing and said to themselves, "Hmm... I could do that. It sounds cool and looks easy." And the next week every other moron that walked through the door had a bodhran under his arm. Now, it is physically impossible for that many bodhrans to be manufactured, sent to stores and shipped to drunks in that short a time. The only possible way so many bodhrans could appear in such a short time would be by the mechanism of reproduction.

And Seamus's personal drum turned out to be a brood-sow bodhran of exceptional fertility. She spit out little baby bodhrans with a frequency that made hamsters look downright celibate by comparison. Occasionally there would be birthing problems and miscarriages, but Seamus found that there was a market for even the most malformed monstrosities. Percussionists will beat on anything even vaguely resembling a drum as long as it makes noise.

But, even the brood-sow bodhran's ability to produce offspring at an alarming rate was not enough to provide for the demand when a new Irish pub opened on the south end of the island. Seamus was receiving more orders than he could fill and he committed the one cardinal sin that bodhran breeders everywhere know will surely bring their downfall. He began to allow young bodhrans to leave the nest before they had been properly paper-trained! You see, it's the breeder's responsibility to assure that all young 'hrans have received at least a modicum of training before they are released upon an unsuspecting public. Bodhrans sold too early never mature correctly and their players never master even the simplest of rhythms. If you ever go into an Irish pub on session night and hear six people beating on bodhrans in six different rhythms it's because five of the bodhrans were sold before they had been paper-trained.

Anyway, a few weeks after that new Irish pub opened, the jig and reel police happened to pay the place a visit on session night. There were ten people wailing on bodhrans and it was patently obvious not a damned one of them had any idea what he was doing. So, the cops immediately deduced that they had a gaggle of untrained bodhrans on their hands. They interrogated a couple of the "players" and found out where the immature drums had come from. A SWAT team was called in and Seamus's bodhran farm was raided that very night. The brood-sow bodhran was sent to a home for wayward frame-drums and poor Seamus was sentenced to two years solitary confinement in a cell with nothing but a cot, a slop-jar, and an accordion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:59 AM

hey - just 'cuz Rapiare's wearing his freudian slip...no need to make fun of him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM

I didn't say you HAD one. I said you WERE one. ( And "type" is a fellow, a guy. type enorme==great guy.)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:06 AM

You betcha that I got one of them enormous types! Won me bar bets for years! Women swoon, men are jealous, and stallions stand in awe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM

Rapaire.

That was one vaiirrrt, vairrry, greuuvey rap, mon vieux -- t'es un veritable type enorme.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Base
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 09:01 AM

All your blue piss belong to us.

Tout sa pisse bleue belong to us.

Tout sa pissoir bleu belong to us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 01:04 AM

Teresa:

Napoleon doesn't care for academic righteousness, he likes it rusty and apache-style; he'd rather say something ribald in argot than something courteous. It's his little way.

Having had to put up with this for many years, I think I can offer a rough translation:

"Do you really think I am going to believe such a tale?A tale that is so stupid it couldn't gull an infant? Go on with you, your sister pisses blue!!"

Napoleon believes he is speaking the rugged argot of the Montmartre gutter, but it is possible he is just dreaming the whole thing up. He's not easy to manage and often refuses to listen to reason.

Hope this helps,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 12:34 AM

LOL! That was the best laugh I've had in a long time.

As for the odd french there ... er, Amos, I tried to figure it out ... something about a sister and a baby and something pissing blue?

Ok, I give up. My French is rusty, but that stuff has apostrophes with consonants on each side of 'em; never seen that before. :D

Teresa


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