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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 22 Oct 04 - 10:42 AM
Tweed 22 Oct 04 - 08:16 AM
Rustic Rebel 22 Oct 04 - 12:58 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 04 - 09:05 AM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 08:27 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM
GUEST,The Magenta Maggot 20 Oct 04 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 06:37 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 03:47 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 Oct 04 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 03:23 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 12:57 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:12 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:11 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:10 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:03 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM
Rustic Rebel 20 Oct 04 - 02:12 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 19 Oct 04 - 11:49 PM
Ima Gittin' 19 Oct 04 - 11:42 AM
Acme 19 Oct 04 - 11:33 AM
Amos 19 Oct 04 - 11:19 AM
Acme 19 Oct 04 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 19 Oct 04 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 18 Oct 04 - 10:08 PM
GUEST,Mama MOAB 18 Oct 04 - 08:46 PM
GUEST,MMario 18 Oct 04 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 18 Oct 04 - 06:11 PM
Amos 18 Oct 04 - 02:31 PM
Acme 18 Oct 04 - 02:29 PM
Amos 18 Oct 04 - 02:17 PM
JennyO 18 Oct 04 - 01:35 PM
Amos 18 Oct 04 - 12:53 PM
Acme 18 Oct 04 - 09:41 AM
Rustic Rebel 18 Oct 04 - 02:14 AM
Rapparee 17 Oct 04 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 17 Oct 04 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 17 Oct 04 - 09:50 AM
Acme 16 Oct 04 - 10:57 PM
Ima Gittin' 16 Oct 04 - 01:52 PM
Ima Gittin' 16 Oct 04 - 01:47 PM
Ima Gittin' 16 Oct 04 - 01:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 10:42 AM

Wow, Rap, I hadn't read that Owen poem in years and years. (The link is for the inquisitive).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 08:16 AM

I am an arrogant asshole.
Ebverybobby says that!

Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 12:58 AM

If you don't eat the maggots, they will be your friends as flies.

I said that.
If you do eat the maggots. they won't fly at all.
I said that too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM

The Naming of Parts
Henry Reed

Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But today,
Today we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 09:05 AM

DULCE ET DECORUM EST
                     Wilfred Owen

       Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
       Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
       Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
       And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
       Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
       But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
       Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
       Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines6 that dropped behind.

       Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! ? An ecstasy of fumbling,
       Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
       But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
       And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
       Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
       As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
       In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
       He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

       If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
       Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
       And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
       His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
       If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
       Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
       Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
       Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
       My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
       To children ardent for some desperate glory,
       The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
       Pro patria mori.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 08:27 PM

Those are some of the favorites I read with my kids. Glad you liked 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM

SRS:

What a delightful way to fill the thread!! Thanks for renewing my acquaintance with some old favorites indeed.


QA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM

Maggots may malinger, from time long out of mind
But never, ever, ever must a maggot be maligned.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Magenta Maggot
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 06:43 PM

Please stop malinging maggots. If you do not, I will be forced to take certain actions that you will not enjoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 06:37 PM

I must point out, in all fairness to the US Air Farce, that my brother only ate maggots when he was in survival school at Fairchild AFT in Spokane, Washington. The mess hall raised them and cooked them just to show survivalists that they could eat 'most anything, if they had to, and that maggots were their friends (they clean out infection really well, for instance).

Of course, his final exam -- the "Survival Trek" -- was to walk twenty-five miles across the face of Mt. Rainier in the snow, surviving with only the stuff he'd normally have on him if he bailed out of a plane. This prepared him for survial in Vietnam, and boy! if he was ever shot down over Vietnam and had to survive in the snow, he was ready!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:47 PM

You've never seen one with a rotten tooth, have you? See?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:30 PM

they have a piece of trivia posted on the board at work... The oil in cashews prevents tooth decay.

Now I ask you, if this is true -= why have I never, ever seen a cashew with even a single tooth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:23 PM

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And was run over by a rednecck in a pickup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 02:41 PM

This is the 4, 903rd post to the Mother of All BS Threads in the Mudcat Ideational Emporium and Cogntiive Free-for-all and Tea Society.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:57 PM

Whose pants these are I do not know,
But they are quite filled up with snow.
He will not see me stopping here
To drink my whiskey, wine and beer.

My little hawk must think it queer
To stop without a bathroom near
Between the woods and frozen lake
And talk to icebound duck and drake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:12 PM

Closing in on the big one. . . and revisiting some of my favorites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:11 PM

'OUT, OUT--'
The buzz-saw snarled and rattled in the yard
And made dust and dropped stove-length sticks of wood,
Sweet-scented stuff when the breeze drew across it.
And from there those that lifted eyes could count
Five mountain ranges one behind the other
Under the sunset far into Vermont.
And the saw snarled and rattled, snarled and rattled,
As it ran light, or had to bear a load.
And nothing happened: day was all but done.
Call it a day, I wish they might have said
To please the boy by giving him the half hour
That a boy counts so much when saved from work.
His sister stood beside them in her apron
To tell them 'Supper'. At the word, the saw,
As if to prove saws knew what supper meant,
Leaped out at the boy's hand, or seemed to leap--
He must have given the hand. However it was,
Neither refused the meeting. But the hand!
The boy's first outcry was a rueful laugh.
As he swung toward them holding up the hand
Half in appeal, but half as if to keep
The life from spilling. Then the boy saw all--
Since he was old enough to know, big boy
Doing a man's work, though a child at heart--
He saw all spoiled. 'Don't let him cut my hand off
The doctor, when he comes. Don't let him, sister!'
So. But the hand was gone already.
The doctor put him in the dark of ether.
He lay and puffed his lips out with his breath.
And then -- the watcher at his pulse took fright.
No one believed. They listened at his heart.
Little -- less -- nothing! -- and that ended it.
No more to build on there. And they, since they
Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs.

Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:10 PM

MENDING WALL
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say '.Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."


Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM

STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:03 PM

Ugg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 11:41 AM

Using the "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger" theory of human development, huh??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM

No, they made him eat them. Fried.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 10:15 AM

Iguess being in the military can do strange things to a feller's head.

RR, you are purely DIvine POetess material!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM

My brother Ted ate maggots, but he didn't do the rest of the stuff, at least as far as I know.

He doesn't eat maggots anymore. Not for a long, long time. Ever since he left the Air Farce, in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 02:12 AM

I am humiliated this evening.
Not only because I was doing my own superwoman thing but because I didn't realise you all were doing your superhuman thing from a perception of life, from someone we don't even know, that may not even know or...
doesn't know diddly about shit or life or super humanoids, but someone who could be
a mass maggot eater that loves peeing on himself while he masterbates under the gymnasium bleachers while watching teenage cheeerleaders, turn themselves on to, steroidial young but flexable football stars of the future multi-millionaire generation, while knowing they can't tell you the difference between a noun and a verb, while perpetuating a moan and a distinct viral infection that goes beyound the normal relative thinking that anyone who could come up with a vitual superhero wanna-be name yourself and believe it if you have to, web site...
can get over on a MOAB.

Love and Kisses, Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 11:49 PM

Mom, you've slipped!

10 more to go to 4900


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 11:42 AM

I'll take a robe....ENNY ROBE! Shoot-fahr...I'll even settle fer a gunny-sack! You betcha! All's I get is a durned golden mask.Whoop-de-diddly-doo. It's cold up here...an' rainy ta'boot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 11:33 AM

Ah! That's it! I can remove the lining. But then I have to put some clothes on . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 11:19 AM

I guess they didn't mention, Mag, that the parts in between the jewels are made of monofilament fishnet??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 11:18 AM

My jeweled robe is a bit on the toasty side today--this week it decided to be summer for a while longer in Texas. And I have to be careful with the flame thrower or I'll set the turf on fire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 04 - 09:00 AM

Didcha notice that I snagged number 4884, a palindromic number, an even number, and one divisible by all sorts of other numbers? Didcha, huh, didcha?

I claim dibs on all future divisible palindromic numbers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 10:08 PM

Wadjabringme?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mama MOAB
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 08:46 PM

Hello, son, did you travel far and did you stay in this century?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 08:25 PM

Hi mom, I'm home!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 06:11 PM

At last! A viable alternative energy source!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 02:31 PM

Well, great. You sound like my kind of super-hero. Very best regards to Bobo,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 02:29 PM

Thanks Amos, I was out of town for a few days and didn't try to read every thread I missed as I catch up around here.

Well here it is:

Name: Golden Raven
Secret Identity: Stilly River Sage
Special Power: Somatic Spear
Transportation: Electric Plane
Weapon: Flame Grenade
Costume: Jewelled Robe
Sidekick: Bobo
Nemesis: Jasmine the Elder
Tragic Flaw: Narcolepsy
Favorite Food: Cashews

Considering some of the nasty "N" words out there the this system could have chosen, I'll accept a sleep disorder as that tragic flaw!

SRS Whooooshhh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 02:17 PM

It is a secret ray that causes sensations and pains in the body of the targeted individual.

Snapple is a line of fresh-fruit-juice drinks in glass bottles sold widely in the US.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 01:35 PM

Name: Green Wolf
Secret Identity: JennyO
Special Power: Somatic Push
Transportation: Nuclear Car
Weapon: X-Ray Carbine
Costume: Electric Leotard
Sidekick: Dumbo
Nemesis: Jack the Crafty
Tragic Flaw: Addicted to Snapple
Favorite Food: Cake

What the hell is a somatic push? And I'm addicted to something I've never heard of!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 12:53 PM

It is right here, SRS--or see the Rapaire post below on "super person within you".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 09:41 AM

I'll bite: where's the website where these things are generated? I've seen this stuff before, but am not so inclined as to go searching for it. (Lazy Monday, I guess!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Oct 04 - 02:14 AM

MY superhero:

Name: Shaky Legs
Secret Identity: Rustic Rebel
Special Power: Mindfulness
Transportation: Abounding Energy
Weapon: Lust
Costume: N/A
Sidekick: Sparking dust upon the hillside
Nemesis: Want to do wid you.
Tragic Flaw: broad likeness of Richard Simmons
Favorite Food:)for the moment) hot chicken wings


Is this a prerequisite into the farther side of the MOAB?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 09:18 PM

Actually, my fave rave superhero of all time is the immortal, never-to-be-forgotten, Captain Underpants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 10:19 AM

MY superhero:

Name: Ice Panther
Secret Identity: Cutter John
Special Power: Blazing Finger
Transportation: Magnetic Bike
Weapon: Ice Flare
Costume: Chain Suit
Sidekick: Clarence
Nemesis: Nancy the Black
Tragic Flaw: Clumsiness
Favorite Food: Banana Cream Pie

(Clarence is Opus's Secret Identity.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 09:50 AM

My superhero isn't standing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 10:57 PM

Some of us have trouble keeping our Secret Santa status straight, let alone our superhero standing. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 01:52 PM

Will the Mother keep the Secret of the Secret Identities?
Will the Identities of the Cindys be divulged?
Tune in next time...same MOAB Time Same MOAB Channel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 01:47 PM

Hey....looky there...two baddun's....both of 'em Cindy. Betcha theys them twins down Duck Holler Way....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 01:45 PM

And I will be....


Name: Storm Raven
Secret Identity: Ima Gittin
Special Power: Walk through walls
Transportation: Magnetic Rollerblades
Weapon: Dimensional Blunderbuss
Costume: Golden Mask
Sidekick: Pippin
Nemesis: Cindy the Ripper
Tragic Flaw: Addicted to noodles
Favorite Food: Fried Chicken


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Mudcat time: 18 October 8:47 AM EDT

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