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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

The Shambles 22 Sep 04 - 07:51 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 04 - 06:04 PM
Amos 22 Sep 04 - 01:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 22 Sep 04 - 12:54 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 04 - 12:45 PM
GUEST,MMario 22 Sep 04 - 12:13 PM
MMario 22 Sep 04 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 22 Sep 04 - 11:51 AM
CarolC 22 Sep 04 - 11:45 AM
Teresa 22 Sep 04 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,MMario 22 Sep 04 - 11:25 AM
Acme 22 Sep 04 - 10:45 AM
GUEST,MMario 22 Sep 04 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 04 - 09:20 AM
GUEST 22 Sep 04 - 08:26 AM
The Shambles 22 Sep 04 - 04:15 AM
Rustic Rebel 22 Sep 04 - 12:03 AM
Acme 21 Sep 04 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 04 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 04 - 06:14 PM
GUEST 21 Sep 04 - 01:42 PM
Amos 21 Sep 04 - 01:27 PM
Acme 21 Sep 04 - 01:14 PM
Amos 21 Sep 04 - 09:48 AM
freda underhill 21 Sep 04 - 02:19 AM
Teresa 21 Sep 04 - 01:36 AM
Rustic Rebel 21 Sep 04 - 01:06 AM
CarolC 21 Sep 04 - 12:18 AM
Teresa 20 Sep 04 - 08:07 PM
GUEST,Quark 20 Sep 04 - 07:01 PM
Amos 20 Sep 04 - 04:50 PM
GUEST,A. Clue 20 Sep 04 - 11:07 AM
GUEST,Dr Scshonzxcsky 20 Sep 04 - 11:06 AM
Rustic Rebel 19 Sep 04 - 10:33 PM
Teresa 19 Sep 04 - 05:20 PM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 04 - 04:26 PM
GUEST,fruitbat 19 Sep 04 - 12:28 PM
Amos 19 Sep 04 - 12:22 PM
Acme 19 Sep 04 - 11:37 AM
GUEST,MOAB 19 Sep 04 - 11:24 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:19 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:18 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:16 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:13 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:09 AM
GUEST,clueless errol 19 Sep 04 - 11:05 AM
GUEST,MOAB 19 Sep 04 - 10:59 AM
GUEST,MOAB 19 Sep 04 - 10:58 AM
GUEST,MOAB 19 Sep 04 - 10:56 AM
GUEST,MOAB 19 Sep 04 - 10:53 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: The Shambles
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 07:51 PM

Shambles, this is good quality BS here, if you're going to participate you have to go with the flow, so to speak. The flavor of the day is ketchup.

And there was I thinking - I would at least be safe to post here.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 06:04 PM

Just back at work from vacation, and I'm spending the day just trying to ketchup....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 01:33 PM

American Heritage On Line offers:

VARIANT FORMS: also catch·up ( kchp, kch-) or cat·sup ( ktsp,   kchp, kch-)

NOUN: A condiment consisting of a thick, smooth-textured, spicy sauce usually made from tomatoes.

ETYMOLOGY: Probably Malay kicap, fish sauce, possibly from Chinese (Cantonese) k-chap, equivalent to Chinese (Mandarin) qié, eggplant + Chinese (Mandarin) zh, sap, gravy.

WORD HISTORY: The word ketchup exemplifies the types of modifications that can take place in borrowing?both of words and substances. The source of our word ketchup may be the Malay word kchap, possibly taken into Malay from the Cantonese dialect of Chinese. Kchap, like ketchup, was a sauce, but one without tomatoes; rather, it contained fish brine, herbs, and spices. Sailors seem to have brought the sauce to Europe, where it was made with locally available ingredients such as the juice of mushrooms or walnuts. At some unknown point, when the juice of tomatoes was first used, ketchup as we know it was born. But it is important to realize that in the 18th and 19th centuries ketchup was a generic term for sauces whose only common ingredient was vinegar. The word is first recorded in English in 1690 in the form catchup, in 1711 in the form ketchup, and in 1730 in the form catsup. All three spelling variants of this foreign borrowing remain current.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 12:54 PM

very similar to the Dwarven 'Catsup of rats' recipe I have -

only they use arrack rather then rum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 12:45 PM

Black Walnut Hull Catsup

1 bushel dark but juicy black walnut hulls
1 gallon vinegar
1/2 kilogram dried habanero peppers, stemmed but with the seeds
1 liter dark 151 proof rum

Layer the walnut hulls, vinegar and peppers in a cider press and slooooooooooooowly squeeze out all the juice you can over three or four days. Do not collect this juice in anything, but let it run into the ground. While watching the juice drain, drink the rum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 12:13 PM

Ripe cucumber Catsup

2 quarts of peeled seeded RIPE cucumbers (yes, the bloated yellow ones - and that's 2 quarts AFTER peeling and seeding)
1 Red pepper, chopped (sweet or hot - your choice)
2 c Sugar
1 ts Cinnamon
1 c Chopped onion
4 c Vinegar
1 ts Salt
1 ts Cloves
1/2 ts Pepper

mix well, simmer until thick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 12:02 PM

just to be more or less complete:

Tomato Catsup or ketchup, or Katsup

Makes 2 pints in the US. In the UK it makes about a pint and a half

Ingredients:

2 1/2 quarts ripe tomatoes, sliced (15 to 17 medium sized)you CAN use green tomatoes - or even tomatillos - but that changes things
3/4 cup chopped onion
3 inch piece stick cinnamon
1 large garlic clove (finely chopped) or more - never too much garlic!
1 teaspoon whole cloves
1 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup sugar, or to taste
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste

Preparation:

Simmer together tomatoes and onions for about 20 to 30 minutes. Run
the cooked onions and tomatoes through a sieve.

Place vinegar in an enamel pan. Add a spice bag containing the
cinnamon, cloves and garlic. Allow this to simmer for about 30
minutes. Remove spices.

Boil sieved tomatoes rapidly until one-half the original volume. Stir
frequently to prevent sticking. Add spiced vinegar, sugar, salt,
paprika and cayenne pepper to tomato mixture. Boil rapidly, stirring
constantly, about 10 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Pour into clean, hot, sterilized jars, leaving a 1/4 inch headspace.
Adjust seals and process for 5 minutes in a boiling water bath.

Note: You may want to add the sugar a little at a time depending on
your sweet preference. or leave it out alltogether


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 11:51 AM

in New England and NY at least most county fairs and that type of venue will have vinager out to put on your fries. I don't know about the rest of the country. i *THINK* it was available when I was in Texas - and I'm pretty sure it is at Marylend Ren-faire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 11:45 AM

In honour of this visit from The Shambles, here's the Heinz Salad Cream Emmerdale Calendar

To their credit, Heinz is the first big-name condiment brand that has come out with an organic ketchup product. It's the only commercial brand of ketchup I can eat in the US because it's the only one that doesn't contain any corn. It tastes better than the regular US Heinz ketchup, but still not as good as the Canadian Heinz ketchup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 11:38 AM

Oh, catsup without tomatoes, yay!!!

And here I have been pestering servers in restaurants for malt vinegar all this time, because I don't like that tomato-y ;) stuff on my chips/fries!

If you think getting malt vinegar in the U.S. outside of fish and chips stores is easy, think again. You get brought all manner of very interesting vinegars.

Oh, we're doing catsup; I digress. ;)

T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 11:25 AM

"Another Method of Making Walnut Catsup":

"Take green walnuts before the shell is formed, and grind them in a crab-mill, or pound them in a marble mortar. Squeeze out the juice through a coarse cloth, and put to every gallon of juice a pound of anchovies, and the same quantity of bay-salt, four ounces of Jamaica pepper; of mace, cloves, and ginger, each an ounce, and a stick of horseradish. Boil all together till reduced to half the quantity, and then put it into a pot. When it is cold, bottle it close, and in three months it will be fit for use."

Grape Catsup

Five cupfuls of pulp or juice, one cupful of brown sugar, one cupful of vinegar, one teaspoonful of black pepper, one teaspoonful of cloves, one teaspoonful of cinnamon, and one teaspoonful of salt. Boil half away.

Plum Catsup

Boil together for two hours nine pounds of seeded plums, six pounds of sugar, and three pints of the best cider vinegar. Just before removing from the fire add one tablespoonful each of cloves and allspice.


Mushroom Catsup

chop mushrooms and mix well with salt. Let sit two days. Add an equal quantitie of vinager. Spice with mace, cloves and pepper. Boil for an hour - strain. When cold, bottle.

TO PICKLE ENGLISH WALNUTS.
The walnuts should be gathered when the nut is so young that you can run a pin into it easily; pour boiling salt and water on, and let them be covered with it nine days, changing it every third day--take them out, and put them on dishes in the air for a few minutes, taking care to turn them over; this will make them black much sooner--put them in a pot, strew over some whole pepper, cloves, a little garlic, mustard seed, and horse-radish scraped and dried; cover them with strong cold vinegar.


TO MAKE WALNUT CATSUP.
Gather the walnuts as for pickling, and keep them in salt and water the same time; then pound them in a marble mortar--to every dozen walnuts, put a quart of vinegar; stir them well every day for a week, then put them in a bag, and press all the liquor through; to each quart, put a tea-spoonful of pounded cloves, and one of mace, with six cloves of garlic--boil it fifteen or twenty minutes, and bottle it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 10:45 AM

Shambles, this is good quality BS here, if you're going to participate you have to go with the flow, so to speak. The flavor of the day is ketchup.

BTW: That ketchup poem sounds like something Odgen Nash would come up with.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 09:27 AM

good question -

the "other colour" katsups are abomdination (spelling?) - and just LOOK at the colours! If I wanted to ingest mass quantities of food colouring I could add it myself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 09:20 AM

Actually, it's now into Ketchuppy II. To my utter degradation and to save others from being contaminated by such association, I visited the Heinz site. Green, purple, orange and other colors for ketchup (or catsup). "Beanz Meanz Heinz." I offer this as a small sample of degeneration.

What ever happened to mushroom or walnut catsup? Why is such a versatile sauce synonomous with tomatoes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 08:26 AM

NOW the BS is getting DEEP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: The Shambles
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 04:15 AM

I think I will post here as it is safe.

As it would appear that this is the only thread that is NEVER in any danger of being closed or deleteted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 12:03 AM

My ketchuppity thing to add....

A Poem To Tomato Ketchup: Anonymous

If you squeeze the bottle, None'll come...and then a lot'll.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 09:59 PM

Well, Rap, do some catch-up reading and then get back to us. What kind of fence was it?

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 06:43 PM

Je suis ici. Je retourne.

For the non-Francophones, I am here. I have returned.

The cruise was called because of too much water in the Mohawk River, a veritable plethora of water. I am one of few people who have ever had a cruise end because of too much water.

When we returned home around 2 p.m. today we found that our fence had been stolen. The police are investigating.

Really.

Both of the above items are true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 06:14 PM

postcards of...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 01:42 PM

ketchuppy indeed!

The correct expression is "catsuppy"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 01:27 PM

I haven't been able to land on PHC lately, for some reason -- I am away when the play, week after week. Shame ,really.

So I wasn't aware they had blessed "ketchuppy". Dear gawd. I am not sure I approve :) Tell Garrison for me!! lol


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 01:14 PM

Don't you listen to Prairie Home Companion? The Ketchup Board commercials are quite a hoot!

Ketchup. . . Ketchup. . .

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 09:48 AM

"Say Something Ketchuppy"?


Ketchuppy???




...





..



...


....

Ketchuppy???????!!!!





Jesus wept.....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 02:19 AM

there was a little turkey
he was stroppy, quirky, perky
and he waddled in the chookyard
to chat up a little hen
they snuggled up together
while he ruffled up her feather
and he wandered of to do some renovations in the pen
she was clucky mean and broody
while he gobbled back all moody
and...


oh, cluck it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 01:36 AM

Thank you, rR. :)

So again I ask ... aw, never mind. I have many pressing questions. I'll think of one profound enough for this ... this ... extraordinary font of ... of ... insanity and ... and ... and ... uh, wisdom.

T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 01:06 AM

Teresa, do not feel sorrow for un-correct spelling because alas me las, it was not you that mis-correctly spelled.
Ney I say. It was not you but twas the men of minds that went forth thinking they knew what a qwark was and their minds would not let them think qwark, but instead their minds had to think of another word that sounded like qwark, which lead them to quark.
Even Dr. Scshonzxcsky thought of a fantasy revelation, not only to inspire but he had to have perspired writing all that down, only to describe the meaning of a word he, himself could not fathom.
And Guest Quirk himself thought we were talking about him! Ha!
Imagine the embarrassment when they realize we were discussing qwarks, not quirks.
They will all be scoffed at the national convention of wizardry and monkey business, won't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Sep 04 - 12:18 AM

Just when you thought ketchup couldn't possibly get any better...

"PITTSBURGH (AP) - What do Mia Hamm, Terry Bradshaw, William Shatner and Lindsay Lohan have in common?

The answer: ketchup. They have signed on with Heinz to "Say Something Ketchuppy" on limited-edition bottles of the condiment. The bottles will feature labels with quotes from each celebrity. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the bottles will benefit charities chosen by each celebrity, the company said recently...

...And former Star Trek star Shatner says Heinz "Fixes Burgers at Warp Speed."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 08:07 PM

Ah, well ... this is music and BS site; not spelling site. ;)

Depends which Quark you are, Quark. The one needs others to do business, and the other ... needs others to do business. Maybe one cheats others and the other doesn't. are ferengi allowed on the 'cat?

Oh heck, there's that Heisenberg guy, too.

T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Quark
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 07:01 PM

..No quark has been observed in isolation.

aren't I lucky?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 04:50 PM

QUARK:

A fundamental matter particle that has strong interactions. Quarks have an electric charge of either +2/3 (up, charm and top) or -1/3 (down, strange and bottom) in units where the proton charge is 1. More Information: Quarks, Strong Interactions
www2.slac.stanford.edu/vvc/glossary.html


A fundamental particle. Six types (or flavours) ofquarks are known. Up and down flavours are constituents ofprotons and neutrons.The other, heavier, quarks are called strange, charm,bottom, and top.
hepwww.rl.ac.uk/Pub/Phil/glossary.html


The basic building block of matter, and the foundation for modern theories of matter and the universe. Quarks combine with gluons to make the protons and neutrons that make up every atom in the universe. There are six varieties of quark: up and down, which make up most everyday matter, and the more exotic top, bottom, strange and charm quarks.
www.bnl.gov/rhic/glossary.htm


A strongly-interacting fermion that is a building block of hadronic matter. Quarks come in six flavors: up, down, charm, strange, top, bottom.
www.lbl.gov/abc/wallchart/glossary/glossary.html


a fundamental particle that combine mainly to form protons and neutrons
library.advanced.org/26220/glossary/


A type of fundamental particle that forms the constituents of hadrons. There are currently believed to be six types (or flavours) of quarks (and their antiquarks): up, down, charm, strange, top, bottom. In quark theory, the baryon is composed of three quarks of different colour, an antibaryon is composed of three antiquarks, and a meson is composed of a quark and an antiquark. No quark has been observed in isolation.
www.100megsfree4.com/dictionary/car-dicq.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,A. Clue
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 11:07 AM

ps...

The Hunting of the Snark by Lewis Carroll


The Hunting of the Qwark by Clueless Errol


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dr Scshonzxcsky
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 11:06 AM

Quarks are fundamental matter particles that are constituents of neutrons and protons and other hadrons. There are six different types of quarks. Each quark type is called a flavor .
Quarks only exist inside hadrons because they are confined by the strong (or color charge) force fields. Therefore, we cannot measure their mass by isolating them. Furthermore, the mass of a hadron gets contributions from quark kinetic energy and from potential energy due to strong interactions. For hadrons made of the light quark types, the quark mass is a small contribution to the total hadron mass. For example, compare the mass of a proton (0.938 GeV/c2) to the sum of the masses of two up quarks and one down quark (total of 0.02 GeV/c2).

So the question is, what do we mean by the mass of a quark and how do we measure it. The quantity we call quark mass is actually related to the m in F = ma (force = mass x acceleration). This equation tells us how an object will behave when a force is applied. The equations of particle physics include, for example, calculations of what happens to a quark when struck by a high energy photon. The parameter we call quark mass controls its acceleration when a force is applied. It is fixed to give the best match between theory and experiment both for the ratio of masses of various hadrons and for the behavior of quarks in high energy experiments. However, neither of these methods can precisely determine quark masses.   

How Do We Know Quarks Are Real?

A question you might well ask! If we cannot separate them out, how do we know they are there? The answer is simply that all our calculations depend on their existence and give the right answers for the experiments.

For example, when we bounce electrons off of protons and neutrons, the pattern of scattering angles observed is characteristic of point-like spin-1/2 scatters. The relative rates for electron versus neutrino scattering is that predicted from the quark electric charges. The process of electron-positron annihilation to quark pairs gives similar characteristic predictions, all these are also confirmed experimentally. The accumulation of many such results, where experiments match predictions based on quarks, convinces us that quarks are real.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:33 PM

Well I thought everyone knew what a qwark is.
It starts with a q and ends with a k.
Though that is not describing it, in it's most delicate light
It will still shine out it's invisible ray.
Let's say a qwark is unaware of it's self,
It has a past for a future.
By understanding the lesser of the time continuum,
it connects or divides with a suture
The qwark has a cosmos relativly speaking,
that brings it's own to it's ilk.
And if you neglect it or contemplate too much,
it turns into a strawberry milk.

Hope that helps.

So Bullshit is alive and flying through dreams, it seems all too qwarky to be real.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:20 PM

I just want to know what a "qwark" is?

T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 04:26 PM

They're selling...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,fruitbat
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 12:28 PM

I object.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 12:22 PM

Geeze, sometimes ya gotta notice the fine but certain line between "BS" and "nuttier than a fockin' fruitbat".

The poetry is pretty good, though.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:37 AM

oh, gawd, another grandstander


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOAB
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:24 AM

4600, i give unto you
as well as some ideas on which to chew....

WHEN we look to the individuals of the same variety or sub-variety of our older cultivated plants and animals, one of the first points which strikes us, is, that they generally differ much more from each other, than do the individuals of any one species or variety in a state of nature. When we reflect on the vast diversity of the plants and animals which have been cultivated, and which have varied during all ages under the most different climates and treatment, I think we are driven to conclude that this greater variability is simply due to our domestic productions having been raised under conditions of life not so uniform as, and somewhat different from, those to which the parent-species have been exposed under nature. There is, also, I think, some probability in the view propounded by Andrew Knight, that this variability may be partly connected with excess of food. It seems pretty clear that organic beings must be exposed during several generations to the new conditions of life to cause any appreciable amount of variation; and that when the organisation has once begun to vary, it generally continues to vary for many generations. No case is on record of a variable being ceasing to be variable under cultivation. Our oldest cultivated plants, such as wheat, still often yield new varieties: our oldest domesticated animals are still capable of rapid improvement or modification.

It has been disputed at what period of time the causes of variability, whatever they may be, generally act; whether during the early or late period of development of the embryo, or at the instant of conception. Geoffroy St Hilaire's experiments show that unnatural treatment of the embryo causes monstrosities; and monstrosities cannot be separated by any clear line of distinction from mere variations. But I am strongly inclined to suspect that the most frequent cause of variability may be attributed to the male and female reproductive elements having been affected prior to the act of conception. Several reasons make me believe in this; but the chief one is the remarkable effect which confinement or cultivation has on the functions of the reproductive system; this system appearing to be far more susceptible than any other part of the organization, to the action of any change in the conditions of life. Nothing is more easy than to tame an animal, and few things more difficult than to get it to breed freely under confinement, even in the many cases when the male and female unite. How many animals there are which will not breed, though living long under not very close confinement in their native country! This is generally attributed to vitiated instincts; but how many cultivated plants display the utmost vigour, and yet rarely or never seed! In some few such cases it has been found out that very trifling changes, such as a little more or less water at some particular period of growth, will determine whether or not the plant sets a seed. I cannot here enter on the copious details which I have collected on this curious subject; but to show how singular the laws are which determine the reproduction of animals under confinement, I may just mention that carnivorous animals, even from the tropics, breed in this country pretty freely under confinement, with the exception of the plantigrades or bear family; whereas, carnivorous birds, with the rarest exceptions, hardly ever lay fertile eggs. Many exotic plants have pollen utterly worthless, in the same exact condition as in the most sterile hybrids. When, on the one hand, we see domesticated animals and plants, though often weak and sickly, yet breeding quite freely under confinement; and when, on the other hand, we see individuals, though taken young from a state of nature, perfectly tamed, long-lived, and healthy (of which I could give numerous instances), yet having their reproductive system so seriously affected by unperceived causes as to fail in acting, we need not be surprised at this system, when it does act under confinement, acting not quite regularly, and producing offspring not perfectly like their parents or variable.

Sterility has been said to be the bane of horticulture; but on this view we owe variability to the same cause which produces sterility; and variability is the source of all the choicest productions of the garden. I may add, that as some organisms will breed most freely under the most unnatural conditions (for instance, the rabbit and ferret kept in hutches), showing that their reproductive system has not been thus affected; so will some animals and plants withstand domestication or cultivation, and vary very slightly perhaps hardly more than in a state of nature.

A long list could easily be given of 'sporting plants;' by this term gardeners mean a single bud or offset, which suddenly assumes a new and sometimes very different character from that of the rest of the plant. Such buds can be propagated by grafting, &c., and sometimes by seed. These 'sports' are extremely rare under nature, but far from rare under cultivation; and in this case we see that the treatment of the parent has affected a bud or offset, and not the ovules or pollen. But it is the opinion of most physiologists that there is no essential difference between a bud and an ovule in their earliest stages of formation; so that, in fact,'sports' support my view, that variability may be largely attributed to the ovules or pollen, or to both, having been affected by the treatment of the parent prior to the act of conception. These cases anyhow show that variation is not necessarily connected, as some authors have supposed, with the act of generation.

Seedlings from the same fruit, and the young of the same litter, sometimes differ considerably from each other, though both the young and the parents, as Muller has remarked, have apparently been exposed to exactly the same conditions of life; and this shows how unimportant the direct effects of the conditions of life are in comparison with the laws of reproduction, and of growth, and of inheritance; for had the action of the conditions been direct, if any of the young had varied, all would probably have varied in the same manner. To judge how much, in the case of any variation, we should attribute to the direct action of heat, moisture, light, food, &c., is most difficult: my impression is, that with animals such agencies have produced very little direct effect, though apparently more in the case of plants. Under this point of view, Mr Buckman's recent experiments on plants seem extremely valuable. When all or nearly all the individuals exposed to certain conditions are affected in the same way, the change at first appears to be directly due to such conditions; but in some cases it can be shown that quite opposite conditions produce similar changes of structure. Nevertheless some slight amount of change may, I think, be attributed to the direct action of the conditions of life as, in some cases, increased size from amount of food, colour from particular kinds of food and from light, and perhaps the thickness of fur from climate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:19 AM

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away---
For the Qwark *was* a groundhog, you see.


The End of the Huntoing of the Qwark

by clueless errol


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:18 AM

They hunted till darkness came on, but they found
Not an atom, or ion, or mark,
By which they could tell that they stood on the ground
Where the Deckmen had met with the Qwark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:16 AM

Then, silence. Some fancied they heard our Rapaire
give A bleary and wandering sigh
Then sounded like "-hum!" but the others declare
It was only a sneeze that went by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:13 AM

Erect and sublime, for one moment of time.
In the next, that wild Amos they saw
(As if stung by a spasm) plunge into a chasm,
While they waited and listened in awe.

"It's a Qwark!" was the sound that first came to their ears,
And seemed almost too good to be real.
Then followed a torrent of laughter and cheers:
Then the ominous words "It's unreal-"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:09 AM

"There is Amos shouting!" the Deckman said,
"He is shouting like mad, only hark!
He is waving his hands, he is wagging his head,
He has certainly found a qwark!"

They gazed in delight, while the MOAB exclaimed
"He was just an inscrutable wag!"
They beheld him--their hero--their catter unnamed--
On the top of a neighboring crag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,clueless errol
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:05 AM

They sought it with symbols, they sought it with air;
They pursued it with talks and soap;
They questioned its life in an interview-chair;
They charmed it with smiles and hope.
They shuddered to think that the chase might fail,
And the Mother, excited at last,
Went bounding along on the tip of her tail,
For the summer was nearly past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOAB
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:59 AM

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOAB
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:58 AM

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOAB
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:56 AM

A woman can be happy with any lover as long as she does not love him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOAB
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:53 AM

I met a traveller from an ancient land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless breasts of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and smile of old command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that rocked them, and the heart that bled,
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Mother of All Blessed Sons, Queen of Queens:
Look upon my works, ye Catters, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.


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