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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Chongo Chimp 29 Jun 04 - 04:35 PM
Tweed 29 Jun 04 - 01:32 PM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 Jun 04 - 11:47 AM
Tweed 29 Jun 04 - 11:29 AM
freda underhill 29 Jun 04 - 10:45 AM
beardedbruce 29 Jun 04 - 10:42 AM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 10:39 AM
freda underhill 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 AM
beardedbruce 29 Jun 04 - 09:21 AM
42 29 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM
GUEST,Shongo, Chongo's Evil Twin 29 Jun 04 - 09:05 AM
GUEST 29 Jun 04 - 12:28 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Jun 04 - 11:59 PM
khandu 28 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 08:39 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 04 - 03:35 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 12:49 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 04 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 10:03 AM
GUEST,melanie 28 Jun 04 - 12:37 AM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 12:26 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 04 - 08:59 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 04 - 08:50 PM
GUEST,Melanie klein 27 Jun 04 - 06:52 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 04 - 06:03 PM
Amos 27 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM
GUEST,Guest, Liebenscheiss, Doktor 27 Jun 04 - 05:14 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 27 Jun 04 - 05:06 PM
khandu 27 Jun 04 - 03:26 PM
Tweed 27 Jun 04 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 04 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 04 - 11:38 AM
khandu 26 Jun 04 - 11:08 PM
freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 10:46 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 04 - 10:02 PM
GUEST,Melanie Klein 26 Jun 04 - 09:23 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 09:09 PM
freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 08:57 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 08:31 PM
freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 08:24 PM
GUEST,Liebenscheiss, Herr, D. Psych., Ph.D.,B.S.E. 26 Jun 04 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM
khandu 26 Jun 04 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 04 - 03:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 04:35 PM

Hey, Shongo! I ain't got no twin, smart guy...evil or otherwise. I am the one and only Chongo, you dumb plug-ugly, and I will bust yer chops if I see you shambling around my neighborhood with yer lip hangin' out. You ain't no gorilla, you're just a little puddle monkey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 01:32 PM

Amos, I shuld think thet dribbling all obver Rustic's nekkidness wuld be frowned upon in reglar circles ob religion. Posonby this thread will involve into a regilion ob it's own somehow and the ack ob drivveling upon a nekked Rustic culd be a form obv baptism, as well az havin' to read the whole thread wif four hour test etc. Thar iz plenny obv drivvel to be found har and whar better to drivvel than on Nekked Rustic? How bout it RR? Ar you game?

Salvatingly yores,
Tweed


PS. I would exclude King Khnuttbag from this custom if it should take off az he appears to be in full foam and spew mode ob late. Perhaps he could don the remains ob the Cherokee headress and stand outside TEMPLE D'MOAB profurring cheap cigars for the incoming parissioniers or something equally useful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM

LOL, MM ... I kinda know the feeling.

I like RR's preescripshun. It oughta go a long way to establishing world piece as it is somthin' both Muslims and Christians can do in common/...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 11:47 AM

reading this thread is sorta like picking at a scab; or scratching when you have a rash; or having that drink you know you really shouldn't have; or racing the red light at the intersection.

not the smartest thing in the work to do - but irresistable at the time


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 11:29 AM

Rustic are you allus nekkid? I am wondering if thar is some possimuss way whar all ob the MOABITES culd dribble water down yore nekkid skin also. Mebbe we culd all dribble water on ar screens while reading yore mos vivid post an' acheive virnahnna in thet manner.

Yores,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:45 AM

charming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:42 AM

MOAB 3765 posts since 3 May 03    about 14 months

IETSHTBL 1044 posts since 16 March 04   about 3 1/2 months... at this rate, it would have 4176 in 14 months.....

Maybe I need to bring my sonnets over here?

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:39 AM

Maybe we needed a colonic hereabouts and maybe we did not, but why did they have to send such an ugly nurse??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 AM

Shongo, you are a breath of fresh air, a badly needed colonic for this thread.... glad you've come in n sorted out the hierarchies here - we needed a higher species to put things in line.

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:21 AM

And someone has a problem with bad verse?

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM

WELL! look who just walked into our cozy little thread!

God's(Goddess, Buddha, etc) Gift to Warthogs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shongo, Chongo's Evil Twin
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:05 AM

You want bananas, GUEST? I'll give you some @#$!@ bananas! Ain't nobody gonna be the Top Gorilla round here, see? Unless it's me, see? And don't give me that guff about Chongo, 'cause that punk wants you to think he's tough, see? You know what his first job was? He collected money from the marks from an organ grinder, scabbing when the capuchins went on strike. Everybody thought it was me, so I busted the little smartass in the nose and that was the end of that.

Like I say, ain't nobody but me gonna be Top Gorilla in the BS department. Them other people, Amoss and Tiny Titmouse and Rapear and Cantdo and Twit and the rest, they don't know BS from dog doo. They wouldn't know BS if they fell in a pile of it.

Me, now I know BS. I'm the King of BS. And if you don't like it, you'll be going down, see? Cuz I OWN this thread. Me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 12:28 AM

You know, this thread was a welcome relief from the one upmanship being played out on some of the other threads, particularly one being laden up with bad verse.. Now, in our own dear MOAB, someone is trying to be the Head BS Gorilla.


This place is bananas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 11:59 PM

Amos and Little Hawk- this "Getting to know your body- part two is dedicated to you both.

This week we will delve into the body becoming a glistening gem.
Simply, drink a water from a vessel of your CHOICE and let the water dribble down your naked body.
Gaze at the dribble in the light of the computer and see the glistening gems sparkle upon your body.
Imagine the dropplets being a part of your being. Imagine that you are the glistening diamond upon your chest, dripping down, and spreading to your loins.
Imagine that you are the being of the glistening gem, spreading your energy inward and you are becoming the shiny rock that is dripping down your bare chest.
Then imagine that you are the gem. And then, with the heat of your body, you dissipate into ....

Next week's.... where does the body heat go, when you feel cold....Part Three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM

Amos is notably serious about BS! Anytime he speaks BS, it is serious BS!
& I am not joking !

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 09:39 PM

Ok, wisenheimer. Let me clarify:

Dear Little Hawk:

No.

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:49 PM

I thought that I'd share the first line of an email I got from city hall today. It demonstrates the sort of clear, straightforward thinking America is noted for.

"For your information the 4th of July will be celebrated on July 4, 2004."

No indecisive wimps out here in the Pacific Northwest!

(This was sent to all city employees.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:39 PM

If you think the answer is "no" then you must also think that the answer is "yes" because inherent within the statement "I think the answer is no" lies the statement "I think the answer is yes." This being the case, the answer can be neither yes nor no since we are dealing with a two-valued logic system ("either-or" if you will) which does not allow for any third value ("either this or this or this"). Within a two-valued system, then, both statements would have a null value. This, however, is the MOAB, and we must therefore allow for a third possibility within the two-valued system defined: call it Schroedinger's Cat. Hence even within the two-valued, yes-no system there exists a third possibility which we will, for want of a better term, call "neither". Because we can neither apprehend or understand the "neither" term, we must again call upon the philosophers of the natural world and postulate, along with Werner Heisenberg, uncertainty. The correct phrasing should therefore be, "I am uncertain about thinking that the answer is 'no,' but I am equally uncertain about thinking that the answer is 'yes'."

I hope that this clarifies Amos' answer to Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 04:00 PM

Little Hawk:

This is a BS thread.

I use it to post BS.

In this context what does yourr question mean? I think the answer is no.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 03:35 PM

Are you serious?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 12:49 PM

A hunger, an appetite, or a starving sensation depending on the intensifying suffix chosen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 11:27 AM

"Kleinschmidt"??? How generic can you get? That's like an Englishman named Smithjones!

And by the way, what did the name "Jones" derive from anyway? "Smith" was a profession (blacksmith). What was "Jones"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM

3660! A wonderfully divisible number!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:03 AM

I knew a guy in the service whose name was Kleinschmidt; he was an electrician. And there was a drapes & curtains store, back when and where I was growing up, called "Klein's". So I guess that if I needed new electrical drapes, Mel could help, right?

As for knowing how the mind interacts with all it's parts, I know how my does, and why. When I was about three, my mother dropped me on my head (I still have the scar from the broken milk bottle I landed on). That opened up a whole new world to me and jumpstarted my thinking. By the time I was 3.5, I was working out algebraic matrices, by four I had invented matrix calculus. I was well on my way to a true Grand Unified Theory when, at the age of six, my brother Tony hit me on the head with a toy concrete block and...let's just say that my grades did not improve thereafter and my mother was highly annoyed with Tony. Naturally, I wasn't very pleased with him either because he had totally blown my chances of entering the Institute For Advanced Studies at the age of eight, so I tried to drown him in a bucket. My mother was on the scene too soon, however, and he only suffered from hypoxia long enough to change his personality from that of a nasty little brat to that of a raging, evil megalomaniac genius whose plans to rule the world are now, with most of his children grown, bearing fruit. I suppose I should warn the world about his evil schemes, but he and his spawn are kin, after all. I will only say that Microbiology will fall first, then the Graphic Arts, and then Theoretical and Experimental Physics (and Mathematics).       Oh, the plot is cunning and well-laid-out, but like I said, they're kinfolk and all so I'd feel bad about ratting on them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,melanie
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 12:37 AM

there is a fine line between humour and competition. is this line being blurred?

This, the MOAB thread, is a river of BS. let it flow onwards uninterrupted, like our own unconscious strivings..

Melanie k. (the ghost of)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 12:26 AM

Klein's life and her psychoanalytic views were of a piece. Her parents did not choose to have her, her analyst died, her marriage failed, one son died in a tragic climbing accident (some suspected suicide). Her daughter, Dr Melitta Schmideberg, who became a well-known psychoanalyst, fought her histrionically and publicly in the British Psycho-analytic Society, then emigrated to America, then returned and, unreconciled to the end, gave a lecture in London the day of her mother's funeral, did not attend the funeral and wore a special pair of red boots that day. Like Anna Freud, Melanie Klein had no university education, so going to America where to be an analyst you had to have a medical degree, was out of the question. Anna Freud experienced her as an implacable rival and apostate and fought her in the trenches of the British Psycho-analytic Society until, in the hope of working something out, the society staged a set of bitterly fought controversial discussions over a period of years in the early 1940s, the upshot of which was an historic compromise according to which the Society has three groups -? Kleinians, Freudians and Independents

From a web-link provided above.)

It is clear that there is sigificant controversy and confusion about which part of th emind does what and with which and to whom. That is why Liebenscheiss is so valuable. He is experienced in all these fields of phenomenology and has integrated many more hypothetical models. Anyone who has worked with huim knows that he can be trusted to come wuith insights both germane and useful, leading to positive results.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 08:59 PM

I'm sorry, LH, I didn't know that you were undergoing treatments for a mental disorder. If I have done anything to aggravate your problem, I most sincerely apologize. Lord knows, I wouldn't want to be the one who drove you nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 08:50 PM

Yes! Thanks, Melanie. I regard you as head and shoulders above that pretentious sod, Liebenscheiss, although he does have an admittedly strong following around here...as does Spaw, come to think of it...only Spaw's "following" is of a more gaseous nature.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Melanie klein
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 06:52 PM

AND Melanie, Klein, Liddle Hawk!

further examination of my work and theories can be found here....


http://human-nature.com/rmyoung/papers/pap127h.html


rgds Mel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 06:03 PM

Har! Har! This place is always more fun when I come back after being away for a day or so. I love it. My thanks to the Great Mr Shatner for speaking up in my defence in the meantime...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM

Not to put too fine a point on it but I have to ask what Little Hawk is doing running this synthetic entity he calls Shatner and using him to denigrate hard working people who are trying to help him, like Doctor Liebenscheiss, who isn't even charging for the help! I know some people are harder to help than others, but really, LH, you should sit back and review matters. Maybe you should rethink this whole thing about Shatner. It can't be very healthy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest, Liebenscheiss, Doktor
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 05:14 PM

Ach, disch iss terrible, chust terrible. Disch mann tinks he hasch an opinion on evertink!! Soch a delusion!!

Vel, but my professional commitment isch not to but help Mischter Leedle Hawk veneffer I can do scho.

Scho, Herr Schatner, I regretfully decline the invitation to mixsch it upp mitt you. It vould be much too painful to people about whom I shometimes care!

Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 05:06 PM

I've run into fools like this "Doctor" Liebenscheiss before. The man couldn't analyze his way through a turnstile. He's an educated halfwit, an idiot in search of an audience. He's the kind of man Woody Allen pays $300K a year to with no useful effect whatsoever.

As for Little Hawk, he is someone who knows good art when he sees it. Dramatic art in particular. And he's Canadian. What more could you ask?

And that was post 3650, by the way. Cheers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 03:26 PM

HAW!! The whelp fell for it! Those are not the Royal Dancing Tarts coming to you every night! They are my latest invention in biological warfare! They are the Royal Syphylitic Clap Spreaders disguised as RDTs!!!!!

HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!
That is almost as funny as "King Tweed"!! HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW!

KING khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 02:41 PM

Well, I habv been away for a day or two and come back to find the "Khing" begging in the streets and alleys for money. It is no wonder that he is now in the process of being desposed. Certamly unkingly sort obv behabvior I must say. Whining and moaning

"Please O Please Rapaire, Whar iz my Checque??? Why Habz it not come in the mail yet? I yam desparte fore some money az I habv squandered the entire treasury on info-mercial excersiz equimpment whut lies in the spar room gathering dust."

PHAW!! This iz not the way obv Royalty and the Tarts are one by one coming to me late in the nite. They iz insatiable and prolly fore gud reason.

Yore dayz are numbered Khandu and I see no way fore you to squirm loose.

I remain yorez,
Tweed KOTROT, SOTLACS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 11:44 AM

Oh, yes. You'll need the combination and the countersign to the password.

The Password is "Yomomma" and the countersign is "Saywatsucker", random groups of letters chosen for their randomness. The combination is 2 turns right past zero to 46, 1 turn left past the first number to 107, and then right to 3. Failure to use the right combination, or even making a mistake, will cause this ahem! rather large check to ignite and you will only have a pile of ash -- I suggest having the person who will open the container practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 11:38 AM

I assure you that I put the check or cheque into the extremely capable and trustworthy hands of the United States Postal Service. I was told that it will be whisked to The King by especially trained, highly competent Federal agents using only the most recent, cutting-edge-of-technology equipment to insure its safe and timely delivery. I was further informed that should its delivery be interferred with in any way by any nefarious and evil person the matter would be completely investigated by Special Agents of the US government who would bring the malafactors to swift, sure, and terrible justice and the check or cheque to The King.

The route it will travel was Idaho to Bozeman to Helena to Torrington to Sidney to Omaha to Chicago to Memphis to Natchez to Mobile to Vicksburg and then to delivery. This route was especially chosen to foil evil and nefarious personages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 11:08 PM

Meanwhile the Kingdom is awaiting the arrival of the promised cheque, USPS!

Whenever it arrives & is cashed, the Kingdom will happily make a substantial donation to you, Rapaire!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 10:46 PM

Itt means you haff to reconcile your feelings towards the Bad Breast and admitten - all male psychiatrists have been born through a female. They inherit their gene for intelligence from their mutter. The Mother is the Original. All Thought spouts from, through and of her.

Q.E.D.

(quirkum eruditium demonstarum).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM

Alas, although it is called flatterin',
Some imitation's more akin to pratterin'
Is sincere in manner somewhat shady
Like a round-heeled sidewalk lady
Not a jewel, more a mere slatteren!

Hmmmm. Vot doss disch mean?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 10:02 PM

All contributions gratefully accepted. Contribute and I won't sing. Don't contribute and face the consequences. Your decision, and on your head be it.

Oh yeah. Cash is prefered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Melanie Klein
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 09:23 PM

GUEST,Liebenscheiss, Herr, D. Psych., Ph.D.,B.S.E.

Your poschtings of Liddle Hawk's deschperate quescht for ein Hero reveal youhr own fear of da Bad Breast. Ya!! Tink backun to your earliest infantile momentz - your haff un profound ffear of do mudder's Breast. You venerate do Gut Breast, and yet haff de fundamental conflict with Da Bad Breast. Villiaume Schatner embodies di uniffication of da Bad Breast wit da Guten Breast - and thus exhempliffies da wholistic, androgenious, unified beingk, no long split or disassociated. For you, underaware off and subliminating your own inner conflict, you are threatened by those who exhibit androgenious tendencies. Now, Villiaume Schatner ist ein wunderklimpt. For those who empathize wit him, they iss da kinder off wunderklimpt.

Iff Mister Lidlle Hawke may haff to repeat himselff a liddle regarding Mr Schattner, but this iss not because he is obsessed, it iss because you are in denial. It is Liddle Hawke's obligation to challengke your stubborn reffusal to acknowledge your fundamental fear of da Bad Breast, by bringingk before you a symbol of da Unified Self, in da form of Villiaume Schhattner, and in doing so he offers you the opportunity to face reality.

Scho!! Vot schould you do, you ashk?

Examine your feelings towards da breast - both da Guten breast and da Bad Breast. See their effect and symbolism in your life. Why are you following dis long (phallic I may even say) thread? is it to run away from da Breast? and yet, dis iss da Mudder thread - despite running, you are inevitably and subbliminally drawn twoards da Mutter. You wish to unify da breasts, yet exhibit determinaschtion to pursue a usheless, phallic thread - in a cyber world, devoid of all feminine touch - avoiding da feminene, da earth. You haff performed the ultimate act of deniall, and am transferring your conflicted feelingks onto da Liddle Hawk. Is this because the name, Liddle Hawk - is threadeningk? it is Liddle (feminine, not threadeningk) and balanced (two winks)- symbolising da Two Breasts, da Guten Breast and da Bad Breast.
Liebenscheiss, examine yourself,and contemplate da two breaschts.

Melanie Klein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 09:09 PM

LOL!!

Hard-headed pragmatism will do wonders for the current lifetime!!

:>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:57 PM

Bob went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm too scared to go to sleep at night... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Bob. Six months later the doctor met Bob on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the BED"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:31 PM

Freda:

I had the honor of hosting Liebenscheiss' recent visit tot he United States, during which he was kind enough to check in on one of his fafvorite patients, Mister Hawk. I leant him my computer while he was here, so that he could easily keep up wiht his various affairs. And I am glad, at least, to report that he took the trouble to read your response to his analysis and was not offended by it. He actually literally began ROTFLHAO, in a matter of seconds. At first I was concerned at the choking and gasping sounds, but as it appeared there was no blockage tot he airway, I deemed it safe to let him complete his bout of hilarity. He laughed for about twenty minutes. And then, he got up and duste doff his "mornink schoot" as he calls it, and logged off!

However, I should mention that he is not a Freudian.

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:24 PM

Liebenscheiss

I note you have trained under a man who was a cocaine addict (Sigmund Freud). As a man addicted to an illegal drug he would be disbarred from practising in today's society. His theories that all sexual symbolism lies at the base of all needs and perceptions were undoubtedly inspired by his own addiction to a sexual stimulant. Do you think your fears about your own small penus led to your choosing a guru who venerated sexual power and fantasised that it is the ultimate knowledge?

I also note that in commenting on Mr LH, you have violated the American Psychiatrists Code of Ethics, and so could be struck off yourself:

On occasion psychiatrists are asked for an opinion about an individual who is in the light of public attention or who has disclosed information about himself/herself through public media. In such circumstances, a psychiatrist may share with the public his or her expertise about psychiatric issues in general. However, it is unethical for a psychiatrist to offer a professional opinion unless he or she has conducted an examination and has been granted proper authorization for such a statement.

American Psychiatric Association   psych.org/psych_pract/ethics/ppaethics.cfm

regards

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Liebenscheiss, Herr, D. Psych., Ph.D.,B.S.E.
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:04 PM

I haff giffen long schtudy to der poschtings of Liddle Hawk undt hiscvh ilk on disch here vhread off der Modcatt.

Undt I feel it isch imperatiff dot I advische you all about der evident dynamics of dish member.

Dish member isch deschperately in a quescht for ein Hero. Ya!! Dot is how he vill palliate undt mitigate hisch deschperate feelinks of inadequchy. But because it is heer, at der Moddcat, dot he schees hisch inadequacy moscht clearly (efteh all, whoo vould schine in Orillia??) it isch mandatory in hisch mindt that he acquire der approval of der Modkatt peersch not for himschelf -- dot isch beyond hope -- but for hisch hero-discoveries!! If he can accomplisch dot den he will settle for der reracted glory of beingk der Modkatter who brinks you disch hero.

How elsche couldt you eckshplain der obsessive repetitive perschweverant adulation of dot schilly scheisskopff Schatnewr? Or der taschteless redundant reiteration of poor, watery versches von dot Schcot fellow, McDonegal?? He MUSCHT elevate one off deshe mediocre types to recognition heer in ordter to acheive some refraction of adulation for himschelf, don't you schee? Undt it can't be anyvun too competendt for fear it vill refeal der underlying vacuity off der messenger, ya?

Scho!! Vot schould you do, you ashk?

Gently encourage him to shpeak ash himschelf only!! Ignore deshe pseudo-herrinksd. Dey are chust paper tigers, ya? Do not let him draw you into his schyndrome!!

Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM

Oh, King Khandu! I have put said cheque or check into the care of the United States Postal Service. I will let the amount be a surprise to you, but I think that you will find it handsome indeed, being well into the seven-figure range (to the left of the decimal point, too).

Yes, I had to remortgage my home to raise the money. My beloved trumpet is in the hands of the pawnbrokers. My books are sold, I am taking in boarders, and I'm only drinking really cheap beer which I suspect has been already used. I sold my car and all but one pair of shoes, and I'll be walking to work (four and half miles uphill both ways, but worth every step). My hound dawg is only getting table scraps that I'm finished with, as we now beg our food from door to door, and her puppies have been sold. I've sold the grass in the yard to a local rancher for hay. The water, gas, and telephone have been shut off so that I could have more money to send. Tonight I will go forth and sell my body; earlier today I sold my a quart of blood and one kidney.

All this I have done and I'll be doing more as I think it up.

Curse that Melissa, who led me down the Primrose Path! May her tires fall off and her children grow up to be disappointments to her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:19 PM

Meanwhile the Kingdom is awaiting the arrival of the promised cheque, Sir Rapaire!\


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 03:06 PM

Amos, are you saying the Mrs. Melissa Stone is two-timing me? She said that I or my company (which I don't got, being her all by myself right now) had UK Lotto ticket number 1416-4612-750, with serial number 3187-17 and which drew the lucky numbers 31-17-8-28-55. Now these particular numbers are great favorites of mine, 'cause I've always been partial to pi (3.1416 and a bit more) and prime numbers like 31 and 17 and even numbers like 4,612, and as you can see, all of these numbers are used in my winning ticket. Just 'cause I don't remember buying this ticket doesn't mean that some really nice UK 'Catter didn't buy it for me as a really nice surprise.

And now I learn that Melissa is back-doorin' me with this Benjamin Walter or Bill guy, or maybe both.

Maybe I should go over there and raise a bit of good old fashioned Idaho Hell? Or do you think that the Brits wouldn't look too kindly upon someone shootin' out the lights?

Oh, fickle, fickle, woman, Melissa Stone! I am betrayed! Woe is me! She done took my money and my dog and my pickup truck and everything is burnt toast! And there are now police officers showing me a warrant to arrest me for failure to tune!

Hot Damn, any minute now I'm gonna have a right to sing the blues!


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