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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 29 Sep 15 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 15 - 11:22 AM
gnu 30 Sep 15 - 01:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 15 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 15 - 08:33 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 15 - 09:42 PM
gnu 02 Oct 15 - 06:15 AM
Rapparee 02 Oct 15 - 11:32 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 02 Oct 15 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 15 - 02:21 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 15 - 07:31 PM
maeve 03 Oct 15 - 04:26 PM
GUEST,Sir R., villain exraordinaire 04 Oct 15 - 01:51 AM
Amos 04 Oct 15 - 07:20 AM
gnu 04 Oct 15 - 07:22 AM
Rapparee 04 Oct 15 - 07:38 PM
gnu 04 Oct 15 - 08:25 PM
gnu 05 Oct 15 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 15 - 11:34 PM
gnu 06 Oct 15 - 11:04 AM
gnu 07 Oct 15 - 08:48 AM
gnu 07 Oct 15 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 15 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 15 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 15 - 11:04 AM
gnu 08 Oct 15 - 01:54 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 15 - 03:58 PM
Acme 08 Oct 15 - 07:38 PM
gnu 08 Oct 15 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 15 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 15 - 05:10 PM
gnu 09 Oct 15 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 15 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 15 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 10 Oct 15 - 04:48 PM
Amos 11 Oct 15 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 15 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 15 - 04:13 PM
Amos 11 Oct 15 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 15 - 08:39 PM
GUEST,Molalla 11 Oct 15 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 15 - 10:51 PM
Amos 11 Oct 15 - 11:08 PM
gnu 12 Oct 15 - 07:25 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 15 - 10:44 AM
gnu 12 Oct 15 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 15 - 02:14 PM
Amos 12 Oct 15 - 10:25 PM
Acme 13 Oct 15 - 12:42 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 15 - 09:38 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 15 - 10:24 PM

A catawrack is a boat! Or is that a catawreck? Hmmm....

Getaway looks like it's gonna be a floataway this year. How can we send life jackets? I mean, seven inches of rain over the weekend?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 15 - 11:22 AM

Amos was smashed upon the rocks
That cooled his moonshine clear
So smashed was he his guitar he sold
The one he held so dear.

No more will his clear, dulcet, tones
Descend upon our ear
For he has sold his loved guitar
The one he held so dear.

No more his G-string shall he pluck
In tuning for nearly a year
For he has sold his one G-string
The one he held so dear.

(I'll try to finish this later.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Sep 15 - 01:31 PM

(I'll try to finish this later.) ? That doesn't rhyme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 15 - 09:00 PM

Amos was smashed upon the rocks
That cooled his moonshine clear
So smashed was he his guitar he sold
The one he held so dear.

No more will his clear, dulcet, tones
Descend upon our ear
For he has sold his loved guitar
The one he held so dear.

No more his G-string shall he pluck
In tuning for nearly a year
For he has sold his one G-string
The one he held so dear.

No more a G-string, small and lace,
Will Amos, leering, wear,
It has gone where such things go --
And Amos wanders bare.

Yes, naked in the world goes he
Who once could fool an ear
With chords and frets and capos too
And minor fifths so sere.

And minor sevenths and bodhrans bold
The besotted wretch did break
For now he to West River doth hie
Which will look quite like a lake.

Water, water, everywhere!
And all the boards did swell!
Water, water, everywhere!
This rain can go to atch ee double toothpicks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 15 - 08:33 AM

The last was written by Fylo T. Marnsworth way back in 1883. Fylo invented Smellyvision but went broke because no one would consider buying his recordings of Le Pétomane. In despair he took to pottery and made well over 200 misshapen jugs and jars before realizing he was actually meant for poetry, and the results of that are hardly less than well known. Fylo never married, but spent his life with his cats; when he died he left everything to them (did I mention he had inherited millions of rupees from an uncle with the East India Company?) but his will was broken by evil companions and his wealth dissipated in Denver's dissolute dives. Broken hearted, Fylo died of a heart attack in a charity ward for consumptive lepers in 1884 while visiting a friend. He is buried in Potter's Field at Wogharts in Blivetshire. As a side note, he possessed of both the Victoria Cross and the Medal of Honor, but both were taken from him and given to their rightful owners.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 15 - 09:42 PM

Flash floods, flashers, and flash mobs predicted at Getaway for this weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 06:15 AM

Not necessarily... the hurricane track has changed. https://weather.gc.ca/hurricane/track_e.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 11:32 AM

New Brunswick Will Wash Away!
Weather Alerts Out!!

CNS: Hurricane Joaquin changed its track overnight and will make landfall three meters north of the US/Canadian border early Sunday or perhaps Monday morning. Winds in excess of 200kmh and rains in excess of a meter per hour are to be expected.

The Prime Minister announced at 9 o'clock a.m. Atlantic Time that "New Brunswick will have to take its chances, even though it's predicted to wash away. We don't have the budget to help those herring chokers and fight terrorism in Canada at the same time."

The Province of Quebec and the state of Maine are said to be looking forward to additional beachfront properties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 12:11 PM

The hurricane itself may not hit, but it sounds like there is quite a backwash weather-wise. Stay dry, everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 02:21 PM

Although Idaho must worry about earthquakes, vulcanism, tornadoes, blizzards, drought, and a multitude of other things, we don't have to worry about hurricanes and tsunamis.

If a hurricane or tsunami affects Idaho we're all in a world of hurt and even moreso if it's a hurricane-driven tsunami or vice-versa. But soon enough, with the Cascadian Fault overdue to liquify the west coast from Yreka to Seattle and global warming raising the level of the Pacific, we may experience both any day now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 07:31 PM

Okay, bright and early tomorrow I'm going to Missoula. I'll be gone a few days. You guys take care of Mom; I'll check in when I can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 04:26 PM

Raising a glass to honor/honour those who keep Mom's candle lit in more ways than one. Have fun in Missoula, Rap. Get the music going at the Getaway, Amos. Hum a hummersong, gnu. Declut the clutted, Acme. Arise and shine, Mom.

Maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sir R., villain exraordinaire
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 01:51 AM

Checking in.   I'm in Mizala, as the GPS tells it. Tomorrow I will go to kabelaws to see about buying a jacket because I forgot mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 07:20 AM

The Getaway is rollicking and frolicking and thriving and sleep-depriving. I am glad despite fatigue. I couldn't sustain it for a week, thugh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 07:22 AM

Many here are finding that Kabelaws has higher prices than the local guys. Kabelaws is about 2 km from me but I haven't been there yet. Bass Pro opens their new store this week so I might go to Kabelaws on the day that BP opens fer a gander.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 07:38 PM

I found a fleece jacket, without logo, for about USD 25.00. On sale, of course. And I don't pay for stuff with a logo unless it's nonprofit like a museum, or if I really, really want it (like my Moose Drool cap). If some company wants me to advertise for them as a walking billboard they can provide the stuff for free and pay me to wear it.

Pricey depends upon what you want/need. I needed a jacket and I probably could have found one a little cheaper somewhere else. But I figure that you get what you pay for.

Bass Pro shops is about the same prices as Cabelas.

I'm not saying that Missoula, Montana is outdoorsy, but there's also a Bob Ward's Sporting Goods, Sports Authority, God knows how many fishing tackle shops, I gave up counting the hunting stores, and a couple of mountaineering places. Also boating and kayaks and bicycles and hang gliders and I don't know what all. You can hardly move a block without breathing some sort of fresh,outdoorsy air!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 08:25 PM

Hang gliders. Now, that's a fucked up concept. What could go wr


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 02:02 PM

TPP is a done deal? Dog help us all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 11:34 PM

Not yet, at least for the US. Congress has to approve it and that ain't gonna happen until after 2016.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 15 - 11:04 AM

We live in a dicktatorship. If Harper wants it signed, he will have the minister sign it. Then there will be a big mess, especially if he gets the boot on October 19.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 15 - 08:48 AM

By golly, the critter went and done it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 15 - 10:08 PM

Privy council says it's not binding on a new government under caretaking rules during an election. COME ON TOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 10:10 AM

Can I donate? I hate to think of your Council meeting in a privy. The smell must be terrible and if it's like a number of privies I know the door is going to fall off one of these days. Wasps and black widow spiders have been known to build their nests in privies and can give the users a nasty surprise. I've know a couple of guys who were relaxing in the privy with a Sears catalog when a six or eight legged critter took objection and injected their dangling bits with a load of something that caused an unwanted swelling and a trip to the hospital. Then a couple weeks later the skin started sloughing off and the parts were raw and tender as new skin started growing. This caused Bob (not his real name) a problem when his date started getting frisky one Saturday night; poor girl was traumatized when Bob screamed, leaped out of the car, and started running around holding his private parts (which is what she wanted to do); she entered a cloistered convent the next day and spent the rest of her life doing penance. Bob got to like pain and enlisted in the Marines. So if I can send, say, ten bucks, to help your council out just let me know. Even a room at the Hot Sheets Motel is usually better than meeting in a privy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 10:24 AM

Never mind. That Privy Council has the fanciest outhouse I've seen since Steve's dad build one as an A-frame.

But a speech from the throne? I understand that Lyndon Johnson sometimes did that, but I figgered that Canada had better taste.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 11:04 AM

Dibs on 53335!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 01:54 PM

Done my duty today. Voted at Elections Canada. Pissed off that my sealed ballot then went in an envelope that I had to sign but, hopefully, it will be counted. It also pissed me off that the form I had to fill out required denoting my sex. It had two options... male or female. I wanted one that said "Please". The lass told me they have forms that include "Other" if anyone asks. How fucking odd... you gotta REQUEST one of those forms???? She actually reached over and Xed the "Male" box and said, "Last time you checked." I was very pissed off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 03:58 PM

Ask her for one that says "None recently."

At least you voted. Not voting pisses me off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 07:38 PM

Agreed, not voting pisses me off, and be glad she was aware of your sex. Sometimes it is good to be on the radar.

I'll be sporadically on the radar for the next week. Another pilgrimage for one of MOM's children. Boston, then NYC. A wedding, then some fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 09:23 PM

Agggghhhhh! Constantly! Emails from buyers in Kijiji that ask, "Is this still available?" Yes it is you dumb fuck! I don't post shit for sale that isn't for sale. Jesus H. Christ what is wrong with these morons?

BTW, what does the "H." stand for? I forgot to ask Dad before he died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 15 - 11:03 PM

You really don't know???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 15 - 05:10 PM

Seriously, you don't know? I thought everyone knew!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 15 - 08:30 PM

I do now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 15 - 09:09 PM

They're all wrong. It actually stands for


ak...chest


pain...


thud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 15 - 10:00 AM

Gonna go shoot me some cowboys today. It's opening day of huntin' season and they should be comin' down offen the mountains 'bout now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 15 - 04:48 PM

Ay-yup. Done shot me some cowboys. Tough critters, but once you git 'em soaked in a good marinade they can cook up right fine. Iffen they don't ya jist throw to the coyotes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 11:40 AM

Back from a long bout of high-intensity heavy-duty round-the-clock malingering. I swan I dunnno how long I can keep this up!

What a grand trip it has been.

Kendall's book has a fine tale in it of a man who used a privy and it was a two holer--his friend was using the second one. When he stood up, all the loose change in his pocket slipped out of his jeans and fell into the hole. He couldn't reach it. But ya know how tight Mainers can be with a quarter5, so after a while he proceeded to disrobe down to the buck-naked state. Then he took a five dollar bill out of his wallet and threw it into the hole. His friend thought he'd gone crazy. "Well," he explained, "You don't think I'm going in there for pocket change, do ya?"

Maybe you had to have been there...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 12:39 PM

I understand that. Reminds me of the time that...who was it?...gnu?...my brother?...me?...no, I don't remember doing anything like that...now, who was that....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 04:13 PM

I remember now. It was Jimmy. Boy, was he embarrassed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 05:56 PM

Father Fell Down the Well is one of the funnniest books I have ever read. You need to read it just for your mental health!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 08:39 PM

Is this the book by Kendall Morse, who lives in Maine and was in the Coast Guard and worked as a Game Warden and is married to Jacqui and plays and sings and tells stories and who once had a television show on Maine PBS and who wrote an earlier book called "Tales Told In The Kitchen"? That Kendall Morse?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Molalla
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 10:34 PM

Illegitimi non carborundum


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 10:51 PM

Sine virtus, sine laus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 15 - 11:08 PM

There's only one Skipper, Mister R., and that's the one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Oct 15 - 07:25 AM

The first printing sold out last week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 15 - 10:44 AM

Okay. I was fairly sure it was. Now I've got to get a copy. Can I borrow yours, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Oct 15 - 11:15 AM

Kendall told me he got the copies available... he still may have some but I doubt it. Want me to email him?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 15 - 02:14 PM

Nah, I'll check with him. If not him, I'll go higher up the ladder and check with Jacqui.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 15 - 10:25 PM

That's ole Rapp--=always pulling strings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 15 - 12:42 AM

MOM, I'm in after a lovely day of running around and eating good food and visiting with old friends. Better have the footbath ready for a bucket of hot water for when I get back home - my feet are going to need a soak!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 15 - 09:38 AM

I tried to pull a string once and got tossed out of the strip club.

Right! Mom has a bucket of ice cold spring water awaiting your poor, tired, burning feet and it's got that nice green scum on it. AND there's a tub of nice, warm, relaxing water that's only been used by gnu, Amos, Li'l Hawk, Ebbie, and a couple of guys who were passing by so it's still good.

Let me be the first to welcome you back! Everything's just as you left it, except for the bullet holes and the water damage where Amos forgot to turn off the third floor bath water and the scorch marks on the ceiling and the poison ivy that accidentally got rubbed into the carpet and the places where the dogs marked their territory after the cats did so and that place in the roof where the rocket with the satellite busted through and the basement where gnu's still blew up and the tire marks in the lawn from the ambulance and the medevac helicopter and where Ebbie carved her initials in that really old mahogany sideboard thing you like and the fridge and freezer stopped after the power was off for a week when it was so hot outside but we opened the doors so the odors could escape. Oh, did I mention the rats? The rats are all gone now and that's why there are bullet holes.


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