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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 Nov 03 - 08:27 AM
Amos 02 Nov 03 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 03 - 10:32 PM
Amos 02 Nov 03 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM
Amos 02 Nov 03 - 12:22 PM
GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks 24 Oct 03 - 12:54 PM
GUEST,Big Brother 24 Oct 03 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 03 - 08:25 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Oct 03 - 10:00 PM
GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks 23 Oct 03 - 09:55 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Oct 03 - 09:38 PM
Amos 23 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 23 Oct 03 - 04:38 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 03 - 04:12 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 23 Oct 03 - 02:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Oct 03 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 03 - 09:11 AM
Little Hawk 23 Oct 03 - 01:32 AM
Amos 23 Oct 03 - 12:15 AM
GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks 22 Oct 03 - 11:31 PM
Little Hawk 22 Oct 03 - 07:11 PM
Amos 22 Oct 03 - 06:52 PM
GUEST,Shiney Knause 22 Oct 03 - 04:34 PM
Amos 21 Oct 03 - 11:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Oct 03 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 03 - 09:00 AM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 11:30 PM
GUEST,I have.... 20 Oct 03 - 11:14 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overload 20 Oct 03 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 09:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Oct 03 - 09:13 PM
Peter Woodruff 20 Oct 03 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 06:57 PM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 04:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Oct 03 - 03:57 PM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 02:24 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 02:10 PM
catspaw49 20 Oct 03 - 01:49 PM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 12:00 PM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 10:41 AM
Amos 20 Oct 03 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 03 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 19 Oct 03 - 07:37 PM
Amos 19 Oct 03 - 06:10 PM
GUEST,Lester the Lurker 19 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:27 AM

'Twas on a dark and stormy night, the snow was falling fast,
Two darling babes found Mother wandering through the blast.
It was so piercing and so cold, the little ones did cry,
"Oh, MOAB dear, you must keep alive, or you shall surely die.''
"Look out for me, my darling babes, tell me you will post to me,
For Mother has abandoned been, and death to her is nigh!"
They posted as good children should, but she knelt down in the snow:
"Kind God of Heaven, help me now, or I shall surely go."

Toll the village bells, let all Mudcatters know,
That two darling boys could not prevent her perishing in the snow.

Next morning, when the sun came out, the snow was melting fast,
A mother and two darling babes were in one loving clasp.
Mudcatters all heard the sad, sad news
And it grieved their hearts to know,
Not thirty drinks from the Tavern door they perished in the snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 11:07 PM

ROTFL!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 10:32 PM

Why am I so faint and weary?
See how weak my heated beer!
All around to me seems but darkness,
Tell me, comrades, is death near?
Ah! how well I know your answer,
To my fate I'll meekly bow,
If you'll only tell me truly,
Who will post to Mother now?

Chorus: Soon with Khandu I'll be singing
With bright laurels on my brow;
I have for Dear MOAB fallen,
Who will post to Mother now?

Who will comfort her in sorrow?
Who will dry the falling tear?
Gently smooth the wrinkled forehead?
Who will whisper words of cheer?
Even now I think of MOAB
Kneeling, praying for me! How
Can I leave her in this anguish
Who will post to Mother now?

Chorus! (All together now!)

Let my bagpipe be my pillow,
And my songbook be the sky.
Hasten, comrades to the Session
I will like a folkie die.
Soon with Khandu I'll be singing
With our voices bright in tune;
I have for Dear MOAB fallen,
Who will post to mother now?

Chorus!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:29 PM

Wow, Rap, I feel like I am back in the 1890's!!

"'T was a cold autumn evening
And the Catters were leaving
With visions of beer in their heads
And the traffic declined
In the Collective Mind
And Joe Offer set to closing the threads.
Then a Gentleman dapper
Came back from the crapper
Sat down at his keyboard and said:
"Oh Catters, unkind,
Turn away not your minds!
Just think of your MOAB instead!:"

Cho:

There will always be a MOAB
To put your worries to bed
A place to confess
All the piles of BS
That have cluttered your poor spinning head !

There will always be a MOAB,
To comfort when you are annoyed;
So Folks, be not mean
Leave this thread on the screeeeeen!
And don't let it fall into the void!

(Schmaltzy oom-pah theme music fades stage right amidst smell of lavender)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM

Shall Mother be lost, forever condemned to the Hell Of Lost Threads? Shall Mother suffer, alone, forgotten, in the cold, dark emptiness of cyberspace, drifting forlorn amidst the detritus of byte dust and bit chips? This Mother who Khandu hisself brought forth, Khandu, now lost his own self?

Oh, forget not your Mother! Your Mother, who clutched you to her bosom when you were but a little tad! Your Mother, to whom you ran whenever you fell and scraped you knee and who brushed away your childish tears with her gentle kisses and soft hands! You Mother, who has protected you from freds, turned way both the Galactic Overlord and the Galactic Overload, and who now waits patiently for you to care enough to keep your Mother alive!

Forbid it, Almighty God! Yea, I say with the poet, come home with me now! Your Mother awaits, patient and humble! Be not ashamed of your Mother, tho' Mother be old and gray, for your Mother will always care for you, from your birth to your dying day!

(How's that, Amos?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 12:22 PM

Obviously the introduction of the Fertilesticks character was just enough to break the camel's back in this mother of all BS threads. For this sad happenstance, should we then surrender the entire thread? Forbid it, almighty Khandu!! After only 1325 posts it is too soon to quit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 12:54 PM

Ha-Ha Don, big brother of idiot Shane. You are so funny when I was reading your message I laughed so hard I had to go change my panties. Now that is laughing really hard! I really don't want to come way over to Canida though just to meet an idiot but thank you for thinking about me and if I know somebody coming your way, I'll tell them about your restraunt and your little brother.

Love you guys, you really crack me up!!!Norma


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Big Brother
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 12:16 PM

Haw! Haw! Haw! Norma, you have got to come to Blind River, Ontario, because my little brother is lookin' for a girl just like you, eh? Just hang out at the Tim Hortons (it's newly renovated, eh?) with a sign saying "I am available for a date with Shane". Haw! Haw! Haw!

Other people will just point and stare, but I guarantee that when my little brother comes in...and he will...(he's there every flippin day of the week)...his jaw will drop to the floor, man! Then he will go into his "charmer" routeen whcih has to be seen to be believed. Haw! Haw! Haw!

You just gotta come to Blind River NOW!

Remenber: You are Shane's last hope, girl. Ain't no females left in this town stupid enough to date Idiot-boy.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 08:25 AM

Poor litle Willie, and his family!

Down into the well
(Which the plumber built her)
Dear old Granny fell.
We must buy a filter.
*
Willie in a nice new sash
Fell in the fire and was burned to an ash.
Now, although the room grows chilly
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
*
Willie, with a taste for gore
Nailed his sister to the floor.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."

But, Miss Penelope, you see that the poem "Lament on the death of Willie" for what it is, I'm certain: a masterpiece from the "Sweet Singer of Michigan," the late, lamented, American poetess Julia Moore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:00 PM

Hey Norma,
Hang around a bit to see just exactly how intellectual these people really are ( and quite funny I agree). They will amaze and delight you! Now what I really want to know is, are you a fred in disguise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:55 PM

Oh you guys are so funny! I just read more of this thread and think it's so darn cute. I really like when you do all those things with the letters changing colors and sizes I wish I Knew how to do that. I think that Catspaws big fart was really funny. I want to tell him that he should know he doesn't have to flip the covers around when he farts in bed because it really doesn't make a difference. Ha-Ha.

I think the part where Penelope Rutledge says my writing looks like it belongs on bathroom walls. That is really funny.. That is amazing that she knew that. She must be very intellectual and phycic to know that is where I found those poems.

I really love this place you guys are so darn funny. Love, Norma


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:38 PM

Oh fair maiden Penelope, dressed in blue gown,
do not look upon the poetic, with your simple frown.
It may true that we are not all, like Emily,
But poets one and all, we are still family.
So thumb your nose if you must , at one or two of us,
But I think Norma has a fine style, at least she didn't mention...

pus. Like the pus that is mixed into cow pies when they have a polyp in their upper colon, that could lead to infection and the pus is mixed and interacting with the excrement that allows it it exit at it's nearest junction of the animals body.

Hey, Norma thanks for not mentioning pus, It might have sent me on a further tangent if you had, not to mention it would be pretty nasty to walk in that pile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM

I too am deeply touched by your kind remarks, Ms Rutledge, all the more touching for being gratuitous and over-generous in the best English manner.

In response, I believe it was fair and kind of Mr Rapaire to introduce you to our colonial mythology concerning the many escapades and frequent deaths of Little Willy, the forerunner and archetypal paradigm for North Park and the Simpsons.

Willie saw some dynamite
And didn't understand it, quite;
Curiosity never pays;
It rained Willie seven days.


There was also some doggerel about his early experimentation with a home chemistry kit:

Here lie the remnants of our Will
With us, he is no more;
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4



Truly, BS from a Golden Era of same!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:38 PM

I knew there was some reason I had been putting off getting married and having children, Rapaire...and here I thought it was just because I hadn't found "Mr Right". No indeed, there's more to it than that!

I'm sure thar dear little Willie is missed just dreadfully by all those whose lives he touched in such an intimate fashion...

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:12 PM

Goooooooooooollleeeeeeeeeeeeee, Miss Penelope, you make me blush all over!

But I do think that you must agree with the poet that "What is written from the heart must have the same coloring as the character of the writer. True natural feeling flows freely from the innermost nature and carries with it some of the inherent force of truth. Where . . . a strong intellect plans and a noble and generous heart works, there we may look for a great literary work." And so I offer you this ode, written I am afraid by someone far, far more talented than I, but I hope that you enjoy it nonetheless. It is sad, though.

 Lament on the Death of Willie

Willie had a purple monkey climbing on a yellow stick,
And when he sucked the paint all off it made him deathly sick;
And in his latest hours he clasped that monkey in his hand,
And bade good-bye to earth and went into a better land.

Oh! no more he'll shoot his sister with his little wooden gun;
And no more he'll twist the pussy's tail and make her yowl, for fun.
The pussy's tail now stands out straight; the gun is laid aside;
The monkey doesn't jump around since little Willie died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 02:51 PM

And who says I am obsessed? While I do like Emily Dickinson, I am by no means averse to more earthy or passionate poetry and literature as long as it doesn't veer into sensationalistic excess and vulgarity of the kind so common nowadays. There is a place for healthy eroticism in life and literature, but I'm not about to tell you where that place is. I think your negative reactions to Ms Dickinson may in fact signal an underlying concern regarding your own weaknesses... e.g. frigidity (or its male counterpart), agoraphobia, and the like. You should look into that, Bee-dubya-ell. We might just have another case here of the pot calling the kettle black.

I have seen better poetry than Norma's in public lavatories in Hull, though that's not saying much!

Now if you peruse this thread and look back to just 2 submissions...one on 20th Oct, 11:30 pm by Amos, and the other on 21st Oct, 9 am by Rapaire....

That, my dear fellow, THAT is great poetry. Simply marvelous. I am not in jest when I say that both Amos and Rapaire have an open invitation to read their original poetry in Twillingsgate on any occasion that can be arranged, provided they maintain writing material of that caliber.

By Jove, there is hope for the New World after all!

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:21 AM

Personally, I find Ms Fertilestick's poetic endeavor to be an endearing dash of Americana. While not exactly on a par with T.S. Eliot or Dylan Thomas, it does bear a certain folk-art-like charm. I only hope that Ms Penelope Rutledge happens upon it. After all, Penelope does need to get over her obsession with the "poetry" of that over-rated, frigid, agorophobic Ms Dickinson. You can bet anyone named "Fertilestick" is not frigid. Possibly ugly, but not frigid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:11 AM

Someone once said that the only way to tell a real cowboy from the plastic kind is to look at the soles of his boots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 01:32 AM

An accumulation of really stinky behaviour in several previous lives would do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 12:15 AM

I guess there's a relationship between quality of poetic output and density on the BS Density Scale of one's Current Personality Construct. "Fertilesticks"!!! Why would anyone have such karma??? We can only guess.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Norma Fertilesticks
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 11:31 PM

Roses is red
violets is blue
I think you have bullshit
All over your shoe.

Roses is red
and sometimes they pink
Sometimes they yellow
And man do your shoes stink.

Violets are blue
and roses are red
And now I think I've added,
enough BS to this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:11 PM

Have another shot, Shiney, and try to be lucid...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:52 PM

Shiney:

I know, I know. I understood the idea. What I asked was where he got it! If he gets to the bottom of that, everything else will clarify accordingly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shiney Knause
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 04:34 PM

Amis,

Ah thank thet whut th' Bee-dubya boy'z tryin' t' say iz sumthin' lack this:

If'n all thet dark stuff thet's s'posed t' be holdin' th' Yooniverse t'gether an' keepin' it ferm flyin' apart iz bullshit, then thar be a buncha it. Ya cud say thet the Yooniverse iz overloaded wif bullshit. Now, if th' Galacatick Overlord iz s'posed t' be in charge of lookin' out fer th' place, then he'z in charge of lookin' out fer all thet bullshit two. So, sense hee iz in charge of thet big overload of bullshit, an', he could bee called th' Galactick Overload. Ah thank it be whut's cawled a pun, but Ah don' thank it be a verry gud 'un.

Ah noe it don' mek no damm since, but thet Bee-dubya fucker's a weerd sumbitch. Ya gotta be a bigger idjit thun hee iz t' unnerstan' th' boy. An' if Shiney Knause ain't nuthin' else, Ah iz a idjit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 11:07 PM

BeeDubya,

Where did you get that idea?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 08:11 PM

If it's true that all of the dark matter in the Universe is, in fact, BS, then "Galactic Overload" is a perfectly appropriate name for himherit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM

I just noticed: s/he lists his/her self as the "Galactic OverlOAd", not "OverlORd." Interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 09:00 AM

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes        
I all alone beweep my outcast state,        
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,        
And look upon myself, and curse my fate;        

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,                 
Featured like him, like him with friends possest,        
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,        
With what I most enjoy contented least;        

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,        
Haply I think on MOAB?and then my state,        
Like to the lark at break of day arising        
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;        

For thy sweet BS remember'd, such wealth brings        
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

                              -- Billy-Bob, th' pote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:30 PM

Beyond the deepest sea and widest ford,
Beyond the reach of even Overlord!
Transcendent to the mortal's keenest eye,
Broader than any mighty desert dry,
Beyond the ken of ire, and of dread,
Beyond the queering reach of any fred,
There does transcend the realm of all our minds
Where space new-born wells out from ancient Soul's distress
Greater than any craft of merely human kind
MOAB -- The cosmos' call of Surely Pure BS!

Calliope Witherspoon Etheridge
Notions of Transcendent Harmonies, 1899


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I have....
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:14 PM

Yes!!! The Galactive Overlord chimes in for post 1300! I have seen freds recently, and they are a sorry sight, I can tell you...but I've seen worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overload
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 10:23 PM

I say, have any of you chaps seen the freds lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 09:55 PM

Peter Woodruff is obviously a heretic and should be burned or even bruned (as I first typed). I shall report him to the Most Holy And Awfully Awesome Inquisition as such, and they can deal with him. Perhaps the strappado, perhaps the boots, but he will confess his errors and be turned over to the civil arm for execution -- after, of course, confessing his sins, pleading for forgiveness and reconciliation with Mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 09:13 PM

Nay! Nay! This thread is not too long! Nor does it "hang... way out there with no place to go". In fact, this thread is no longer a thread. It has transcended threadness. It has become an institution, a movement, a religion. "Thread" is simply its outward manifestation that allows people like Peter Woodruff to access it. We who have been with it since its inception know that if it were closed tomorrow - if Max were to say "Enough!" - it would continue in a higher plane. It has inspired poetry, grammatical errors, and the creation of entire alien civilizations. And it has done it all while never running out of banana pudding or fried chicken!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peter Woodruff
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 07:39 PM

This thread is to long. It hangs way out there with no place to go.

Peter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 06:57 PM

Yet at my back I always hear        
Late Khandu's winged BS hurrying near:        
And yonder all before us lie        
Deserts of vast BS and sky.        
BS, thy Beauty shall no more be found;
Nor, in thy dry and dusty Vault, shall sound        
My echoing Song: then Worms shall try        
That long preserv'd BS-ity:        
And your quaint humors turn to spit;        
And into ashes all my sh*t.
This thread's a fine confusing mess,        
'Cause it preserves the best BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 04:33 PM

Lo, in the waning of the year,
The growing of the charm which brought us here!
For Autumn frosts the summer's smelling eyes
And winter shows her seasoning to the wise;
Yet, while the threnody of Sleep grow stronger,
Our vital rhythm of BS grows stronger!

How then tomorrow? Will we sleep and die?
Call for the priest? For once and all, confess?
Or will some trace perfume, sensed by the eye,
Revive us with the Power of BS?

(Sorry about the couplet spare
Mehinks 'twas something in the air!)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 04:08 PM

MOAB! if the sages ask thee why        
This charm is wasted on the earth and sky,        
Tell them, dear, that if noses were made for seeing,*        
Then BS is its own excuse for being:        
Why thou wert there, O rivetter of the nose!        
I never thought to ask, I never knew:        
But, in my simple ignorance, suppose        
The self-same BS that brought me there brought you.        




*"smelling" doesn't rhyme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 03:57 PM

Lester the Lurker: What is this thread about anyway?

No, this thread is definitely not about anyway. Anyway has its own thread somewhere. Try typing "anyway" into the filter box. This thread is about BS, which is short for "boiled shrimp". Boiled shrimp are okay, but boiled crawfish are better. I guess we could start a thread about boiled crawfish, and call it the "Mother of All BC Threads", but some folks might think it was about headache remedies or a comic strip. And besides, boiled crawfish are a more-or-less regional thing whereas boiled shrimp are more universal. The length of this thread will attest to that universality. A thread about boiled crawfish would never reach 1300 posts.

Of course, there is the issue of "boiled prawns". Do they deserve their own thread, or are they closely enough related to boiled shrimp to fall under the BS umbrella? If boiled prawns were given their own thread it would be the "Mother of All BP Threads", and lots of folks would think it was about the oil company and then they would post anti-oil rants and be embarassed later when they discovered their mistakes.

By the way, I almost asked, "What's the difference between shrimp and prawns anyway?", but it's a silly question. Everone knows that the difference between shrimp and prawns is definitely not anyway. Don't know what it is, but it's certainly not anyway.

Understand now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 02:24 PM

Spaw wants us to associate the large black characters in the post above with a sound encountered in nature, at least his nature. It is really a form of morphemic abuse. Little Hawk, take note.

Now, for example, he knew it was going to be a waste of time -- he asserts this quite clearly above -- and he went ahead and wasted the time anyway. And then in the same breath he calls US numbnuts. At least we don't go wasting time we know about ahead of time!! Who, the, is the numbnuts here?

The truth is that every time I read this thread again, I hope to find some sort of redeeming social or literary value in it.

And that hope springs eternal....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 02:10 PM

Thank you, Spaw. That's why we have the gas masks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 01:49 PM

Spent a half hour or so catching up on this thread and I want to say it was the total and complete waste of time which I knew it would be. You are all numbnuts of the first order and I salute you.

BBBRRRAAAAWWWWWMMMPPP

Fuck Off

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 01:20 PM

Ohhh!!!!!   A display!! LOL!!! You had me going there!!! LOL!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 12:00 PM

You have read too much into what I said. "In" not "around." Coiled and spread out barbed wire, like small concertina wire rolls.








Actually, for a Veterans' Day display.



Got two gas masks, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:34 AM

Bobwahr around the reference section, eh? Dang, the old wide-open spacious fields of knowledge ain't whut they were when I were a wrangler! When a boy could travel across the plains of information from Saturday morning until dinnertime and never even be bothered by tyhe librarian!!

Sure is different now -- bobwahr, huh...and them purity filters and such. T'ain't the same, no suh. Wonder if Montana's still free....


:>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 10:41 AM

Sorry, Amos. Imprecision on my part. Correctly, we were placing barbed wire around inside the library, specifically in the reference department. Sorry for the confusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 10:22 AM

The only question, Mister Rapaire, is that you say you were stringing barb wire around the library, and I have to ask for the record -- what the hell for? To keep the reference books from escaping? All you have to do is figure out which one is the lead reference figure -- it is usually one of the older encyclopediae or the largest dictionary -- and tether that one to a shelf. All the other reference books will stay relatively close to the primary work, and you won't need to be messing about with no bobwahr.

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 08:54 AM

RR, my socks are green, too. I never buy green socks, but do you know that if you don't wash them you can have green socks without buying them and thereby save yourself a lot of money?

Underwear, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 07:37 PM

Neighbors nothing, I was at work! You see, we were stringing barbed wire around the library when some of it snapped back and whacked me right in the middle of the forehead. Now, the forehead is full of little veins and things, and bleeds a LOT when cut open, like mine was. So there I was, my hands full of barbed wire and blood just GUSHING down from my forehead, soaking my clothes, making my shoes all squishy. I wouldn't, of course, have minded much except that this was my VERY OWN BLOOD! Fortunately, one of the staff members saw my situation and managed to free the wire from my hands and I could then clap my hands to my forehead and stop the bleeeding (I told everyone that I really did NOT need a tourniquet around my neck for such a minor wound). I sloshed off to my office, where I took off my clothes so that I wouldn't have to sit in them, and called my wife to bring my some fresh clothes. I used some of those moist towelette things to clean up and I sat down at the computer to get some work done. Long about the time she brought my clothes, I was stuck to the chair. I was fortunate enough that she helped me, but I found her giggling and laughter less than sympathetic.

Is everything clear now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 06:10 PM

Ah -- right. That being the case, this thread would not really be appropriate, in my opinion.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Lester the Lurker
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM

I'm not stupid, mate. I've given it a cursory glance or two, but I do not intend to read the whole bloody thing. I've got a life to live here.


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