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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 05 Sep 03 - 01:11 PM
Amos 05 Sep 03 - 12:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 03 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 03 - 12:13 PM
GUEST,MMario 05 Sep 03 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,freds 04 Sep 03 - 09:19 PM
Amos 04 Sep 03 - 03:36 PM
MMario 04 Sep 03 - 03:03 PM
Amos 04 Sep 03 - 02:55 PM
GUEST 04 Sep 03 - 12:21 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 03 - 11:21 AM
GUEST,MMario 04 Sep 03 - 10:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 03 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,freds 04 Sep 03 - 09:29 AM
GUEST,Ralphs 04 Sep 03 - 12:45 AM
GUEST,Ralphs 03 Sep 03 - 11:42 PM
GUEST,freds 03 Sep 03 - 11:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 03 - 10:36 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Sep 03 - 09:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 03 - 08:36 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Sep 03 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 03 - 09:24 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 03 - 08:29 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 03 - 03:20 PM
GUEST,Tweed 02 Sep 03 - 02:57 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 03 - 02:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 03 - 09:03 AM
Little Hawk 01 Sep 03 - 11:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Sep 03 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 01 Sep 03 - 10:36 PM
Little Hawk 30 Aug 03 - 12:06 PM
GUEST,Rapaire, on another PC 30 Aug 03 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,MMario 29 Aug 03 - 01:34 PM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 03 - 01:26 PM
GUEST,Ralphs 29 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM
Amos 29 Aug 03 - 09:10 AM
GUEST,MMario 29 Aug 03 - 08:51 AM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 03 - 02:23 AM
GUEST,Ralphs 28 Aug 03 - 09:39 PM
Amos 28 Aug 03 - 08:52 PM
GUEST,Ralphs 28 Aug 03 - 07:49 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 03 - 07:47 PM
Amos 28 Aug 03 - 04:57 PM
GUEST,MMario 28 Aug 03 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 03 - 04:18 PM
GUEST,MMario 28 Aug 03 - 04:06 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 03 - 12:50 PM
GUEST 28 Aug 03 - 12:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 03 - 12:23 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 03 - 11:50 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 03 - 01:11 PM

! Snur!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 03 - 12:54 PM

BRuce,

You have elevated the shady-dad-paternity-ducking letter to COSMIC proportions!! I stand amazed and awed!! It gives a whole new meaning to the concept of passing the buck!! Cosmic, man!!! Cosmic!! Like....wooooaaaah!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 03 - 12:46 PM

Dear Freds,

If Bubba Bubba's hatchlings do, in fact, have my Y chromosome then it is an obvious case of cross-dimensional-fertilization. In other words, the "Bubba Bubba" which exists in dimension must have mated with the "Bee-dubya-ell" which also exists in dimension and produced offspring which have somehow manifested themselves in our decidedly non- dimension.

As you are doubtlessly aware, the Pangalactic Treaty of Cosmic Year 8576409 excludes lower life forms like Homo Sapiens from liabilities incurred by their higher dimensional counterparts. As we poor dumb humans are not even aware of the existence of dimension (or any higher dimension for that matter) we cannot, by Cosmic Law, be held responsible for any activities performed by our higher-dimension counterparts.

Please ascertain from "Bubba Bubba" exactly what dimension this purported mating took place in and refer your request for hatchling support payments the the "Bee-dubya-ell" of the appropriate dimension.

Thank You


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 03 - 12:13 PM

No! It can't be true. Har! Omigod. Har! It's like having hiccups, only worse! Har! Lord take me now!!! (Har!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 Sep 03 - 11:39 AM

no surprise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 09:19 PM

We have decided to toss that so-called "translator" we bought at Ralphs in the trash and use our own. And, save for those times when we wish to make a point, we'll just use your typeface, fonts, and so forth.

Perhaps you are wondering how we, as freds, obtain access to your "Mudcat." The answer, of course, is quite simple.

As for Bubba Bubba (we might as well call ither by the name you know), sheit is in perfect health. Moreover, in the fungoid state is it not possible to tell an untruth: if "Khandu" and "bee-dubya-ell" are named as genetic donors for the hatchlings, such must be the case. "bee-dubya-ell" might still exist as viable protein, but Bubba Bubba obviously obtained his (is "bee-dubya-ell" male?) chromosonal pattern somewhere, and as such he is both legally and morally responsible for the hatchlings' maintenance until they are of age to feist for themselves.

Now we must reveal a Great Secret to you. You are members of an elect group, and are bound to take whatever action about this you feel appropriate and necessary. If you are squeamish about taking such action, read no further.

The Great Secret is this:

William Shatner, who passes as an actor, singer, and other things on this your world, is in actually a member of the same race as Ralphs, those who run that goddamn cheapo gyp joint out Cygnus way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 03:36 PM

Well, no, MM, thanks for enquiring. I was just anticipating Little Hawks probable response to the gibe at His Billfulness.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 03:03 PM

Amos? have they changed your meds? Or Been in the sun too much? or possibly even been ingesting recreational chemicals?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 02:55 PM

PRaise your stars th'art nameless, oh, nameless one!! FOr one there is here who, finding where you keep your foul abode, would surely set forth on a mission to hunt you down and destroy you for such blasphemy!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 12:21 PM

the influence of William Shatner on 20th and 21st century concepts of drama and general deportment

certainly an appropriate subject for MOAB!

Answer: none. Thank all the dieties!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 11:21 AM

When are we going to get back to discussing something REAL...and IMPORTANT here...like the influence of William Shatner on 20th and 21st century concepts of drama and general deportment? When???

And where is King Khandu? Has he abdicated the throne?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 10:38 AM

hey BWL! What if Debbie Earl lied? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 10:33 AM

Dear freds,

Please refer to the recent post from your own (late?) "Debbie Earl" which states in part:

...in order to do what she (Bubba Bubba) wished to do she would have had to consume your protein. All of it, and with great mess.

As I still have most of my protein, logic dictates that the act in question never took place. Sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere for the donor of your Y chromosome.

King khandu, on the other hand, has not been heard from in a good length of time. It is entirely possible that he is the donor of the W chromosome in question and that the reason we haven't heard from him is that he was consumed during the consumation. Anyway, even if he is still alive he is from Mississippi and, therefore, by definition, has no money. If you're looking for child support money from him (or his estate) you might as well try squeezing it out of a rock instead.

I suggest that Bubba Bubba just put the hatchling(s) up for adoption and get on with herit's life.... such as it is.... being a fungus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 09:29 AM

freds uz translador majine freds bouht frum ralfs no need too lern langij ov pepul who wil not exizt in a lidle wile louzy majine butt wurks an wat kan yu ekspect frum ralfs

The translator we freds developed and use ourselves is far superior to that piece of crap we bought from Ralphs (which, by the way, is a cheap-shit discount store out in the direction of Cygnus and not one of the star-faring races of the Universe). Our translator, as you can see, works impeccably.


As we mentioned earlier, we are looking for someone called “bee-dubya-ell” and someone else called “Khandu.” A little matter of child support, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 04 Sep 03 - 12:45 AM

Oh, by the way, human Bee-dubya-ell, the bit about Ralphs smelling like rotten Brussels sprouts was not exactly funny. Har! I guess you didn't think Ralphs could read French or something. Har! Listen! Har! Ralphs are going to tell you just like we told your friend Amos: Har! Ralphs work entirely by annoyance. Har! Ralphs don't like to become actively involved in the destruction of planetary life-forms. Har! But Ralphs really hate being insulted and will make exceptions. Har! Understand? Har? Har?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 11:42 PM

Yeh, right! Har! Freds ate Ralphs. Har! Har! Freds are lying little fuckers! Har! It'll be a warm day on Ganymede when freds eat Ralphs. Har! Har! Freds can't spell worth a damn either. Har! Ralphs already told you humans that Ralphs hate freds worse than anything in the known Universe. Har! Ralphs hate freds so much that Ralphs wouldn't stoop to eat the little maggots! Har! Har! Har!

Oh, to answer your question, human Bee-dubya-ell, Ralphs were merely sleeping. Har! The days on Ralphs' home planet are the length of your weeks. Har! Ralphs' stay awake for four of your days and then sleep for three days. Har! Ralphs are well rested and ready to get on with the annoying. Har! Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 11:04 PM

ralfs wer gud ate them butt hat stumik upsit aftur bubba bubba az yu kal ither iz parint had hatch yisterdai iz sayin beedubyaell iz profivdeer uf y kromozonez an candu profiedid w kromozonez pleez tel us if tru sew wee kan tak tu them aboot hatchlin sueport muny fank yu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 10:36 PM

Where'd Ralphs go? I hope we didn't offend them. They added a certain panache, a hint of existential dread, a little bit of sangfroid and a whole lotta l'odeur des choux de bruxelles putrfis to the place. They also made me itch. I think they had fleas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 09:58 PM

Just as Little Hawk said in another thread, "Ah, that explains why I can't buy extra large condoms". They used 'em all up on the rubber people. (har)
I ain't been called Rusty Kreble since I was born, and I remember the Dr.s saying,as they were scraping the crust of my scalp, "That there looks like a rusty kreble to me, what do you think Dr. Dick?"
Then I remember Dr. Dick saying, " Yeah that sure seems to be an appropriate diagnosis to me Dr. Toosik."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 08:36 PM

Thank yew fer th' chuckle, Rusty Kreble. I dunno who summa them peeple are but it were funny anyhow. If yew like that kinda thing yew might like t' play with rubberfaces.com. It are funny too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Sep 03 - 08:04 PM

This is not the time or place for all of this Bullshit! Can't you people see we are having a crisis here? Can't you understand that we need honesty, compassion, and love abounding at this time in our measly little existance of life in this measly little time frame of life that we have?
They are taking what we have to be good and pure and turning it into a circus ring. They are exposing human nature for what it really isen't and saying we deserve to be treated like the animals in that circus ring.
They are trying to form groups of loyal subjects to create disturbances throughout the entire Mudcat community. They are infilterating our Governments, our homes and gardens, our lives.
Who are they you might ask? They are exactly the thing you detest, yet yearn for. They are the nostril full of snot,that you want to blow but you snort down your throat, they are the things that make you want to reach out and touch, but you can't reach them, they are preying on us every day, they are...they are mating them for Christsake they are....



ACTORS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 09:24 PM

I read ma comics as gawd intended -- online.

I only read it for the Brandy. And Oscar. And Truman. And Frank. And Julius. And Ralph. And Leslie. And Brandy's roommate. And Khan the Catfish.

And for you poor benighted heathens who wot not what of we speak, enlightenment is to the found here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 08:29 PM

Rapaire, my lad, I have wronged you. You are clearly a Liberty Meadows fan! So am I. This is glorious. So, what do you think about the return of the cow? Have Ralph and Leslie bitten the big one this time or will they escape? Isn't Brandy the greatest? Wow.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 03:20 PM

LH, you are suggesting my unhingement. Such is not the case. I cannot express enough delight at my sanity, my level-headedness, my grasp on reality and truth. I enjoy the same level of sanity as Oscar the Wiener Dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 02:57 PM

Liddle Harg, you like thet H.P.Lovecrapht right? Mebbe you habv been to this site but mebbe you ain't so I will give you this link. Truly a disturbing place, as all things Lovecrapht should be.

Famous Citizens of Arkham...and more..

Yerz,
Tweed at work


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 02:51 PM

Rapaire, I note that you have begun claiming to be the sole author of the repulse of the Martian invasion. You are experiencing delusions of grandeur. I fear that you are becoming too mentally unstable to be allowed to participate in a thread with the gravity, dignity, and deeper meaning of the MOABS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 09:03 AM

"Ralph" is one of my middle names, likewise my brothers. If you don't think that we can be annoying, just let one of us know. Or ask my mother or any other my relatives. Names supplied upon request.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 03 - 11:58 PM

Yup. Har! Annoyance is the raison d'etre of this planet. Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Sep 03 - 11:21 PM

Sorry, Ralphs, but I think you've finally come to the wrong planet. This is Earth, home of rap music, electric guitars, 2-cycle leaf-blowers, and telemarketers. We are immune to annoyance. Stick around long enough and Mattel will make a Ralphs doll that goes "Har!" when you push a button. It'll be next Christmas's hottest selling item. Kids'll love 'em. Adults'll hate 'em until noon on Christmas Day and then they'll just ignore 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 03 - 10:36 PM

Well, it couldn't just LAY there, could it??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 12:06 PM

I left a Ralphs-style message on my friend Mike's phone last night. Har! He was very annoyed by it. Har! He says he will punch me out if I do it again. Har! This business of being Ralphs-ish can be dangerous. Har! Har!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire, on another PC
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 11:38 AM

Ralph's my nephew. Ralph's also my father. I am related to and descended from Ralphs. Don't think that Ralphs can't do whatever they want.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 01:34 PM

silly Ralphs! Har! gargoyle has been trying to drive the ilk away from mudcat for years. har! and he has failed! Har! What makes you think Ralphs can succeed? Har?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 01:26 PM

My ilk is very rare, Ralphs. Har! I think you will not find any. Har! Go screw yourself. Har! Har! Har!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM

To: Earthling who styles himself after a diminutive raptor. Har!

It is not usually within Ralphs' ways of doing things to interfere with or harm the indigenous dominant species on a planet that Ralphs wish to acquire. Har! Ralphs exert Ralphs' influence by sheer annoyance. Har! However, since it appears that you, Mr. "Little Hawk", have gravely insulted Ralphs we will make an exception. Har! Har! Ralphs have captured every Ilk on the planet Earth and are currently holding them hostage. Har! Har! Ralphs will release the Ilk unharmed whenever you, Mr. Hawk, see fit to issue a formal apology. Har! Har! Har! Otherwise, you will never see your precious Ilk again. Har! Har! Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 09:10 AM

Grammar will habe no importance! Snur!! Wait and perceive!! Snur!! The meeting of Vans allied with Safeway will be the end of Ralphs! Snur!! But this thread will not end!! Snur. Snur! Snur!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 08:51 AM

it derives from the nature of the medium.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 02:23 AM

Ralphs are right. Har. Raplhs are exceedingly annoying. Har. I hope they all die miserably. Har. Har. Grammar is always changing, so Ralphs will find it hard to lay down absolute rules. Har. But Ralphs wii still try. Har. Ralphs also make really annoying movies. Har. Let's hope that something very nasty happens to Ralphs soon. Har. Har. Har.

I didn't think this thread could get any worse, but it has... (Har.)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 09:39 PM

Amos. Har. Ralphs must point out a grammatical error that you made in your immediately preceding post. Har. You refer to "the Ralphs". Har. This is an improper grammatical structure. Har. There is only "Ralphs". Har. There is no "the Ralphs" or "a Ralph".    Har. "Ralphs" is both singular and plural and "Ralphs" is never modified by a definite or indefinite article. Har. This admittedly uncommon grammatical feature is the one thing that Ralphs have in common with freds. Har. Other than that, Ralphs hate the little fuckers. Har.    Har.    Har.    Har. Enjoy the rest of your brief stay on this lovely planet. Har.    Har.    Har.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 08:52 PM

(Don't tell the Ralphs this, buit I a have it on Good Authority that there is a Synchronous VIsitation bering scheduled by the Higher Circles of the Noble Vons Organization, who have formed an Alliance witht he Monarch of Safeway. I am afraid Ralphs will not like this very much!!   Snur!! Snur! Snur!)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:49 PM

Hello Earth People. Har! Greetings from Ralphs. Har! Ralphs are not like freds. Har! Ralphs understand your grammatical system and can spell, punctuate and capitalize as well as most of you do. Har! Ralphs also do not look offensive to most of you. Har! In fact, Ralphs look like this. Har! However, please be aware that Ralphs have invaded your planet and before long you Earthlings will long for the days when all you had to worry about was freds trying to eat your King. Har! You will wish that you had lost yesterday's battle with the Martian invaders so that all you had to endure was their whips and 5,000 volt anal probes. Har! You see, Ralphs are the most annoying species in the known Universe. Har! Ralphs always refer to themselves in the third person, which gets on people's nerves after a while. Har! But, more importantly, Ralphs habitually say "Har" after each sentence that Ralphs utter. Har! In some instances, where a statement is humorous or very thought provoking Ralphs may even utter several "Har"s in sequence. Har! For example: "Why did the Drombignonian Velsnard cross the road?" Har! "Because his lagnarvia was caught in his epurchalot!" Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!    Har! After a few years of Ralphs occupation most subject planetary populations either commit mass suicide or quickly figure out how to build starships and go find new planets on which to live. Har! Either way, Ralphs get the planet to do with as Ralphs please. Har!    Har!    Har! Ralphs think Ralphs are going to like it here. Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!    Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:47 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Wonderful! The American Revolution has never resounded with such glorious verse before.

"A Marrow, A Marrow, my commission for a Marrow! Nay, tarry not, good fellows, but fetch me a Marrow! Alas! I fear that my days grow short as Marrowless I stand upon this sodden and bloodied field. O wretched fate! Harry not mine unsullied ears with vague rumours whilst the sands run down, but fetch me posthaste a Marrow!"

With these desperate words did General Burgoyne beseech his redcoated staff officers as the ragged colonials closed in...mouthing vague obscenities about republicanism and the impending death of monarchy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:57 PM

On the eighteenth of April, in 'seventy-four
He galloped to every farmhouse door
And gathered up every marrow fair
That the evil British had hidden there!

Then he took them all, and with some of his friends
Hauled them away to the old East End
Where Boston Harbour laps the pier
Twelve tons of marrow disappeared.

Then he said good night, and with muffled oar,
Rowed across to the Charleston shore
And stopped at a tavern, ordered a brew,
And passed on this tale, as I pass it to you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:25 PM

Didn't you ever have to recite that epic poem?

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the marrow tossing of Paul Revere
Into the harbour of Boston Town
went every veggie that George sent down!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:18 PM

I'm glad you brought that to everyone's attention, Mario. It explains a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:06 PM

My fellow Americans - and anyone else hanging around on this thread:

As we are coming up on the 330th anniversary of the infamous 'Boston Marrow Party' I was of course thinking of that historical event and wondering if it was indeed - as some have recently speculated brought on by a combination of Martian subversives and Manatee sympathizers - rather then being a purely 'home grown' rebellion.

As I am sure all are aware (given the momentous historical signifigance of the entire marrow incidence) that from this seemingly small display of pique devoloped the entire American Revolution; the Space Program, American Sign Language and, some posit, even cellphones and Britney Spears.

Of course this is not to excuse the incredible offenses against human rights committed by Parliament and King George in having military troops hide marrows on front porches throughout Boston, Peabody and Braintree; nor does it even begin to explain why those troops; ashamed as they were to have to force marrows upon common citizens - were still compelled under cover of darkness to continue their nefarious vegetable distribution.

Many scholars have of course debated this issue for years - but the recent failure of Martian activities due to MOAB influence is once again bringing the entire Marrow incident to the fore of the true Poliotical Historian's mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 12:50 PM

That's true. You can also sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 12:33 PM

Did you know you can sing 'The Boar'sHead Carol' to the tune of "The Banana Boat Song"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 12:23 PM

ODE TO FREDS (SNIFF, SNIFF, SUB, ZUB)

So time has come for us to bid
Farwell to our friends freds
Bubba Bubba's taken hostage
And Debbie Earl is deads

We won't be soon forgetting
The time they spent among us
Though Deb is now a fossil
And Bubba is a fungus

We hope they live in other states
Unknown to our World
Like sentient blobs of jelly
Bubba Bub' and Debbie Earl

Or they may be back tomorrow
Arisen from the dead
Cause dumber things have happened
Within this MOAB thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:50 AM

President Bush made a emergency broadcast to the nation this morning:

On August 27, 2003, a day which will live in incompetence, the military forces of the Empire of Mars did launch a dastardly and unprovoked surprised attack upon the peace-loving inhabitants of Idaho, USA...and a variety of other places (but who cares about those, cos most of 'em were in foreign countries which aren't American...yet). This attack came even as the lying Martian envoys were conducting supposedly normal diplomatic discussions with American officials in Washington and trying to determine how we pronounce the word "nukular" on this planet. The perfidy of this unprovoked attack is unrivalled in the history of the Universe and shall be met with a grim resolve by we, the innocent victims of this vile aggression! Never before in the history of mankind has anyone committed such pointless and duplici...dubalict...duplessis...um...SNEAKY an attack on a peace-loving people as the Martian attack of August 27th! It will not go unanswered! Even now I am preparing a proposal for Congress to allocate funds sufficient to mount a punitive expeditionary force to invade Mars within the next 12 months, this force to be launched in an operation which I have decided to call "OPERATION IMMEASURABLE FREEDOM"...or "OIF".

I want to bring attention to the fact that the Evil Martian Empire sent their troops in claiming the right to "pre-emptive attack in self-defense", as if that was a justification for what can only be seen as naked aggression!

Furthermore, they claimed that we had "weapons of mass destruction" capable of destroying an entire planet. Ha! Where?...I say where?...are those weapons of mass destruction??? Nowhere! That's where. They lied through their teeth, folks, and I am not gonna let 'em get away with it.

They also claimed that we assisted Ming the Merciless of Venus in blowing up that clam bar in Kel'th'a'pathlz'ne'n...in...in the Martian capital last year. Another blatant lie! We can't stand Ming the Merciless and would feed him into a meat grinder if we ever got the chance to. Ming hates us and we hate him. End of story.

Well, those Martian dimwits have made a big mistake. All around me I can feel the righteous anger of America building like a mighty wave of vengeance that will cause fat guys to get off their couches, drop their can of Coors, and grab for their shootin' irons, and get ready to sweep the Evil Martian Empire off the face of the Earth! Well, no, I mean off the face of the Universe...assuming the Universe has a face...well, you know what I mean! We're gonna get 'em! We're gonna smoke 'em out! And we're not stoppin' until the job is done!

Hear this Mars! America is coming!!!


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