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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 26 Aug 03 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 11:35 AM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM
Sooz 26 Aug 03 - 11:23 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 11:03 AM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 03 - 10:40 AM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 03 - 10:34 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 10:30 AM
Sandra in Sydney 26 Aug 03 - 10:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Aug 03 - 10:19 AM
GUEST 26 Aug 03 - 10:10 AM
Sandra in Sydney 26 Aug 03 - 09:43 AM
Sooz 26 Aug 03 - 09:40 AM
GUEST,da big cheese 26 Aug 03 - 09:39 AM
Noreen 26 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM
Sandra in Sydney 26 Aug 03 - 09:32 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 09:28 AM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 09:26 AM
Sandra in Sydney 26 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM
GUEST,Moloch 26 Aug 03 - 08:55 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 Aug 03 - 08:48 AM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 08:44 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 03 - 08:37 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 03 - 08:37 AM
GUEST,Tenderheart Bear 26 Aug 03 - 12:46 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 03 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,MMario 25 Aug 03 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 03 - 02:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Aug 03 - 01:57 PM
GUEST 25 Aug 03 - 12:26 PM
Amos 25 Aug 03 - 12:21 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 03 - 09:12 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 03 - 08:50 AM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Aug 03 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 03 - 09:20 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 08:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 03 - 07:48 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 06:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Aug 03 - 01:46 PM
GUEST,The Deity 24 Aug 03 - 01:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 12:02 PM

I think it said "Do-Wop Harmonies", silly wabbits....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:35 AM

Do enlighten us LH.

this should be interesting


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM

That's silly. Everyone knows perfectly well how Wop hormones work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM

seriously - if there is a differnce - I suspect it's the basil, garlic and oregano. They do definately make a difference in whether or not bugs bite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sooz
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:23 AM

Hey, MMario I'd noticed that as well. Thought it had something to do with the cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:03 AM

I got a question. Does anyone else read the title on THIS thread as 'Technical - How Do Wop Hormones Work?'

Or am I the only one?

I keep wanting to post "The same way non-Italian hormones work"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:55 AM

Happy they'll feel like pigs in clover????!!!!

Rapaire, you should be ashamed. Yes, ASHAMED!!!! And the Michigan Doctor who apparently foisted this parody of literary art on an unsuspecting humanity is just obviously working for the Martians! Double-agents and turncoats!! Beware!! Loose lips sink saucers!! I mean, ships!!





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:40 AM

A Classic Poem to Celebrate This Mother:

Mother's Troubles

Mother with children all the while,
Tired and weary, she'll hardly smile;
Working so hard, she's nearly sick,
The children's noise to stamp and kick.

Her nerves so weak she cannot bear
Their weeping cries to rock the chair;
Husband at home, so cross he speaks,
Aside she steps and there she weeps.

'Tis then she'll wish she ne'er was born,
For life seem dark and all forlorn;
But when their fret and all is over,
Happy they'll feel like pigs in clover.

    from From Cradle to the Grave (Ionia, MI: Dr. William Fuller, 1888), p. 14.

And to celebrate, tonight the Idaho Regiment will fire a salute of 1,000 guns, mostly into the air and mostly loaded with blanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:34 AM

Egad! The Martian invasion forces, poised on the very eve of victory, are reeling in sudden confusion before the awesome spread of BS that has infected Mudcat Cafe and driven this thread beyond 1,000 Posts! Will the BS ever end? Or will we have to wait another 60,000 years before people get serious around here and go back to discussing clawhammer technique for left-handed banjo players and the original and unsullied text of "Barbrie Allen"?

Stay tuned to find out!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:30 AM

oh the horrors! MOAB has led to extended MudCat addiction in Australia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:20 AM

Spot!!

and I'm off to bed as it's 12.25 & I wanted to log off before midnight.

ratz.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:19 AM

ODE TO THE MOAB UPON ITS 1000TH POST

The time has come for us to gab
About this thing we call MOAB
The Mother of All BS Threads
The home of whackos, freaks and freds

We must speak of khandu the King
Whose genius (?) did inspire this thing
'Twas an idea whose time had come
Though some just laughed and called it dumb

It now has reached its thousandth post
Without a doubt that is the most
That any thread has ever had
That ain't too shabby - not too bad

It may well go for thousands more
As long as there are fools who are
Just bored out of their minds and need
A place to broadcast weirdness' seed

So here's to you, oh MOAB thread
A beacon in the night so dead
Home for the crap that, we must face,
Ain't fittin' fer no other place


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:10 AM

the one who gets there firstest gets the spot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:43 AM

Noreen & Sooz - I didn't know you were around, I thought I was leaving the spot for MMario or Amos or ...

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sooz
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:40 AM

Dammit, Noreen. You beat me to it. I will sulk now for the rest of the day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,da big cheese
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:39 AM

FUNDAMENTALS OF CHEESEMAKING

A key factor in natural cheese is its selective concentration of the insoluble components of milk. Heat, acid, salt and bacteria both jointly and singly play effective roles in transfering the concentrate into an acceptable, fresh food predictable quality, or later in conjunction with other microorganisms and enzymes, into a cured food.

Natural cheese can be classified into groups according to its moisture content, age, type of ripening agents or the rheological qualities of the cheese. For example, classification of natural cheese based on moisture is divided into four groups, very high H2O ( cottage cheese), high H2O ( Mozzarella cheese), medium H2O ( Cheddar cheese), and low H2O ( Parmesan cheese). The moisture levels range from 80 % to 13 %.

The following table displays the basic steps in cheese-making. The following eight steps are used for most of the 18 distinct variables of natural cheese-making.

BASIC STEPS IN MAJOR CHEESEMAKING

Setting the milk

The first step in basic cheese making is to prepare warm milk with starter and rennet extract or paste causing the milk to curd into a block. This curd may either be set with starter only causing an acid iso-electric casein, or a sweeter, calcium paracasein curd, set with both starter in rennet extract. The sweeter curd will materialize in only 15 to 30 minutes at about 32 degrees celcius however, the acid iso-electric casein curd will take approximately 5 to 16 hours to curd at a given temperature.

The optimum pasteurized temperature is 161.6 degrees F (72 degrees celcius) for 16 seconds only pasteurized milk is used for fresh cheese, however raw heat, heated or pasteurized milk may be set for ripened cheese.

The rennin extract is added to the milk, causing the milk curd, however vibrations may cause a non- homogeneous curd. A milk container protecting against light is necessary because rennin is unstable to light. Also, it is inactivated at normal pasteurization temperatures and is most stable at pH 4.0.

Cutting the curd

The horizontal - wire knife is initially used to cut the curd into strips using a swing - gate motion. It is only used to cut in one direction, lengthwise. The vertical- wire knife is then placed in the curd and moved in two directions, the long and cross directions. Cutting the curd increases the surface area of the curd.

Cooking the Curds

Cooking the curd is generally defined as, heating the curd and whey for a specific time, while agitating. This process may be accomplished by using direct steam, jacketed water, or radio- frequency. Cooking the curd serves many purposes such as, contracting the curd particles, driving out the free whey, increase lactic acid production, suppresses spoilage microorganisms and influences the final cheese moisture.

Draining Whey

Separating the whey from the curds is accomplished by using a metal strainer or a sieve. Draining time will vary from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on the vat size. The whey acidity determines when to begin draining. This processes also allows more time for lactic acid production.

Knitting and transforming the Curds

The type of cheese being processed and it's texture will determine the time period of this application. During this time, lactic acid is accumulated causing the curd to change chemically and provide the correct moisture content. This will also allow microbial constituency for curing.

Salting of Curds

The purpose of salting the cheese is to improve its flavor, texture and appearance to suppresse the growth of spoilage microorganisms. When and how much salt is added is dependent on the type of cheese being processed.

Pressing

This processes gives the cheese its characteristic shape, texture, extrudes free whey. The cheese is placed in a metal or wooden vat, usually with some type of weight placed on it to cause pressure. The standard equipment used, is the horizontal, hydraulic, pressure plate type presses.

Adjusting the specifications of the previous steps will cause different varieties of cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM

1,000!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:32 AM

as I'm only a latecomer to this thread, I really don't want to post no. 1000

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:28 AM

good thing I got new hip boots!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:26 AM

Pure BS has no redeeming intellectual, technical or factual content.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM

what's pure b*llsh*te? from a pedigree b*ll?

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM

MM this is the BS version. The other thread is the Literary Version.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Moloch
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:55 AM

You guys better
watch it, ‘cause
you’re starting to
piss me off again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:48 AM

[whinge mode ON]why is all the martian invasion stuff happening on this thread. There's a perfectly good thread for it down below here and this thread it suppossed to be pure b*llsh*te. the Martian Invasion is serious stuff! [whinge mode OFF]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:44 AM

Oh, my, I love it when people vent their frustrations. It's so very special to see, don't you think....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:37 AM

Hey! Just ten to go (nine after this).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:37 AM

Hey, "Tenderheart" Bear!

Got a message for you.


"Numb Nuts, you land in Idaho and we'll show you what it feels like to get the Sawtooths* shoved up your a**e. You and your group of pansy-wansy honeypot suckers show up ANYWHERE within 5,000 kilometers of Boise and we will kick your butts so far up your backsides you'll have to burp to fart. And remember, in the words of your pal Barney, "I love you!" (By the way, he was delicious. We served him with baked Idaho potatoes.)

And you want to share? We got stuff to share with you. Mostly .30 caliber stuff, but some's a lot bigger!

                                 Love,
                                 Your friends in The Idaho Regiment"

(I cleaned this up so that it wouldn't offend your tenderheart sensibilities.)


*The Sawtooths are a mountain range.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tenderheart Bear
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 12:46 AM

Earthlings! My name is Tenderheart Bear (yeh, click on the name to see what a badass I am). I am the leader of the band of freedom fighters you Earthlings know as "Care Bears". Yep, that's us. The ones you're making such a puny attempt to defend yourselves against. Well, you're gonna lose! Why? Because you don't know how to share! That's why the Galactic Overlord (Yeh, I know, some shitbird pretending to be God said that he'd fired the G.O. Wrong!) sent us on this little incursion. To teach you fuckers how to share!

So listen up! Learn how to share and we'll just go home. Keep on being the selfish assholes you've been being and we'll kick your ass. Understand?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:18 PM

Is that Ms Penelope Rutledge I see presiding over the "trouncing of the foe"?!!! How stirring! You have done well, Rapaire, and shall be rewarded with a medal or two and a commendation. Those cutesy-pie thingees you found and fought are the most disgusting sight I have seen in a long time, and I dearly hope you exterminated every last one of them! Don't fret over the casualties. Bloodshed and heavy loss of life are part of every glorious victory, and guarantee that it will be long remembered and serve to inspire future generations to go forth and hurl themselves mindlessly into the fray just as their forefathers did. Expect more of this. It's good for morale and makes for great movies and books at a later date.

Too bad about Debbie Earl...but he/she/it kept talking about the "nice little farm" he/she/it was going to own after the war, and you know what happens to idiots who do that! It's the same as guys who are on guard duty at night and say, "It's too quiet out there. I don't like it." More fatal words were never spoken. Any guy says that, he's dead meat. I can guaran-dam-tee-it, pilgrim.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:13 PM

Colonel Hawk --

I beg to inform you that at 1712 MDT the Idaho Regiment was attacked by allies of the Martian invaders. Fighting was fierce indeed, but we followed your orders and strategized all over the place. We were finally able to obtain sufficient supplies
to enable our beleaguered forces to absolutely trounce the foe.

SIR! we whipped 'em good, SIR!

But SIR! I regret to inform you that we suffered horribly for our victory. There are many wounded, and many have left this vale of suffering forever. There are also many missing in action, SIR!, one of whom is our newest recruit, Debbie Earl.

SIR! we shall do our utmost to resupply and regroup prior to the expected attack on the 27th, but we will then be at half strength (20% alcohol) at best.

I remain, reverently and obediently your humble servant, SIR!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 03:03 PM

Hey there; I say HEY THERE! Y'all leave that Foghorn Leghorn Rooster Alone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 02:36 PM

Colonel Hawk, SIR!!

I beg to report, SIR!, that we have taken in a new recruit, SIR! Particulars are: Six feet four inches tall, 196 pounds and few shillings over, quite educated and articulate, and the female members of the Regiment seem to find him to be "a hunk." (Sir, I am familiar with military terms and can readily discuss MLRs, beaten zones, pre-planned fires, TOT, close air support, final defensive fires, commissariat, and FUBAR, but I unfamiliar with this last term and report it here because, SIR!, I am certain it will convey meaning to you.) The new recruit's name, SIR!, is Debbie Earl, SIR!, which causing some small confusion among the troops.

Otherwise, SIR! things are going well. The new weapons have arrived and have been issued, as per your orders, SIR! Training, SIR! has been goind quite well indeed, with only three fatalities and seven wounded, SIR! The troops have also received the new rations, SIR! and some are becoming attached to the rations, calling them "cute."

SIR! That is all for now, SIR!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 01:57 PM

Colonel Hawk,

Intelligence sources have reported the deployment of yet another cadre of anti-Martian troops over on this thread. Yes, the Mudcat Commandos under the leadership of Sargent Kat have been brought into the fray. Between Colonel Hawk and Sargent Kat, Tweetybird and Foghorn Leghorn don't stand a chance! However, whether or not you've got enough between you to put a whoop-ass on those Care Bears is still kind of iffy, especially since rumors abound of a new secret alliance between the Care Bears and this guy. (And we all know that Sargent Kat doesn't have a very good track record against giant mice.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:26 PM

there is a theory that s*it is NOT the waste product of the digestive system - rather that it is a symbiotic life form . the reason most organisms regularly produce deposits of sh*t is that in reproducing the symbiote has neccessitated more living space then available and part is expelled. Under rare conditions this species can exist outside of a host body - reproduceing by spontaneous generation


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:21 PM

Gets deeper and deeper, don't it? Hmmm.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:34 AM

You're on the right track, Rapaire, my lad! Now bear down, grit yer teeth, and do what must be done. If ya want some inspiration, watch a few old John Wayne movies, like "Sands of Iwo Jima". And remember this: there is NOTHING wrong with using WMD's and slaughtering millions of foreigners/savages as long as they are the Bad Guys and you are the Good Guys...and we are! Make no mistake about that, pilgrim.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:12 AM

Colonel!

A question, sir! A bunch of the troops, the ones who call themselves "The Cleary's Grove Boys," want to use WMDs. Sir, isn't it against the Geneva Convention, the Hague Conventions on Land Warfare, and human decency to create and use a musical group composed of castenets, ukuleles, accordions, bodhrans, bagpipes, a lute, and a grand piano?

The explosion warn't nothin'. Just some of the lads and lassies foolin' around. High spirits, you know. Pre-action hijinks. Don't worry about it. No big thing. And I'm certain we'll find most of the body parts eventually. Just a bit more paperwork, that's all. I have stopped the issue of hand grenades and have begun issuing water balloons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 08:50 AM

Morning Report, 25 August 2003, 0645 or so MDT.

Okay, Colonel. Almost half of the troops are assembled, and nearly everyone remembered to bring their firelocks. Some even remembered to bring powder and shot, but I had it taken away until they sober up. They didn't go home after being dismissed last night, but instead spent the night playing "Go Fish" and drinking Scotch-and-root-beer with various various Fallen Women In Low Dives (I considered assembling a firing squad for the insult to whisky, but using their own powder and ball to execute them seemed a bit declasse, so I decided to let their hangovers be their punishment).

Corporal Simpkins forgot his pants again. Two people, Miguel Machismo and Trixie "Boom-Boom" Jones, are on sick call for some sort of "burning when they go pee-pee," and I hope that this does not presage an epedemic.

A couple more folks wandered in a few minutes ago, but one of them went back home to get her purse.

Your orders have been received and at the moment we are issuing hand grenades to the troops.

Oops, I'd better go see what that big boom was. Later, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 11:23 PM

That's the spirit, Rapaire! Assemble your troops (those that can stand up...) at 0600 sharp tomorrow! We attack at dawn! All Care Bears shall be destroyed. Give 'em no quarter. Don't even give 'em a nickel or a dime. And if you run across any Teletubbies shoot 'em on sight!

Last minute espionage directive: Great Root Bear inflatable bears and Ronald McDonald inflatable clowns suspended over fast food restaurants are actually enemy reconnaisance vehicles. Machine gun 'em on sight! Oh, and Tweety Bird is a spy, plus he's terminally cute, so when you hear that whiny little voice saying, "Oooooo...I t'ought I taw a..." BLAST HIM INTO ETERNITY!!! Cats everywhere will thank you for this.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM

ah, Colonel, it's getting late and some of the troops have to be home before 2100, and they've got a bit of a walk, some of them, so I let them go home. We'll be ready and rarin' to go tomorrow, and 'most everyone will finally be sober. I also tried to make them stop gathering flowers, but they told me it was for camouflage so I said that it was okay. I think some of us will be marching off disguised as floral arrangements.

Anyway, Colonel, everyone's gone home and I'm going to turn in myself. Let me know if the Martians arrive tonight, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:26 PM

My children were of the appropriate age when Care Bears were in their maximum vogue around '84 or so. I actually took them to see "The Care Bears Movie". Fortunately, I managed to fall asleep after about the first five minutes. Unfortunately, the kids did not. It took years of counseling to get them to the point where they could distinguish fantasy from reality and they still both managed to grow up to be hoodlums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:20 PM

I've investigated further, and can only say, "Jumpin' sh*t! Let's BLAST them l'il buggers afore they drag us all down to their level! Jaysus, the very survival of the human race (poor excuse that it might be) is at stake!"

We're off to off the Care Bears,
The invading Martian sods,
We'll stomp their heads and pee in their beds
And save our world because!
Oh, we're off to off the Care Bears
Those dirty Martian sods!

Little Hawk, the Idaho Regiment stands ready! Our marching song (above) is written! Our firelocks are on our shoulders! We have drawn our swords, and our trumpets shall never call retreat! The piper is tuned and he's pipin' away! Our packs are on our backs and the boat's on the bay! Our flax and wheels are sold! The girls (and boys) we left behind are weepin' for their Johnny and Joanie goin' to sea! We won't come back 'til it's over! The Harrow tomorrow we must cross! We few, we proud, we band of brothers (and sisters)! Where ever our colors are worn are changed, changed utterly! Wrap the green flag round me! Once more, dear friends, into the breach, once more! Remember the Alamo! Remember the Maine! St. Denis! They shall not pass! Mountjoy! For God, England, and St. George! Arount thee wench, the rump-fed runion cries!

What, Colonel Little Hawk, are your orders?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 08:59 PM

Whaddya mean, "the unknown"? I say wipe 'em out and do it now. You can't make me feel guilty about it either. I saw a good comic about them one time. On the left side was a panel showing the Care Bears, who were smiling sweetly at the reader and saying "I wuv you!" and "I care about your feewings!". On the right side was a panel showing the Uncaring Bears, who were glowering at the reader, smoking cigars, and saying "I can't stand you!" and "Who gives a rip!#?"

Har! Har! Loved it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 07:48 PM

Good Lord, LH! I never thought that you'd espouse genocide! Have we stooped this low? Is there no way that we can sit down with these and discuss matters? Must we immediately grab a gun? Is there no solution except violence and war? Does the word "humanity" mean nothing? They are creatures like us, possessed of a body and soul, a mind. They might be fuzzy outside, they might look differently, they might even be tasty and delicious when served with a roasted pepper sauce and a nice Merlot, but must we always approach the unknown with fear and violence?

For shame, LH! For shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:23 PM

I couldn't agree more Bee-Dubya! Care Bears are the very apotheosis of evil! They must be expunged utterly from this World by every means possible!!! Then there are the Teletubbies! Imagine a feature film called "The Care Bears Meet the Teletubbies". Now imagine it again at a matinee. Now jump off a bridge...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM

Bert evil? Ernie evil? No problem. I can accept the possibility of any Muppet being evil, especially Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and the Swedish Chef. Everyone's always known that Muppets have the potential for evil because Jim Henson and Frank Oz were, after all, a couple of freaks who found a profitable niche for their weirdness. Where eccentricity lies, the seed for evil cannot be far away. Just ask Dr. Faustus.

But Care Bears are a different matter all together. They exude a special malevolence. They personify BLAND and BLAND is the worst kind of evil. There is no eccentricity where Care Bears are concerned. There is only DULL. Care Bears rot away the minds of young children in the same inevitable creeping fashion that Bazooka Joe and Coca-Cola rot their teeth.    Care Bears are the Valium of evil! There has never been any question of a Care Bear selling his soul to the Devil because Care Bears have no souls to begin with! They are the kiddie culture equivalent of The Walking Dead!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:14 PM

Bert may indeed be evil, but if so he's been driven to it by Ernie! Ernie is a sadistic, manipulative little creep who delights in emotionally torturing Bert and driving him to the brink of madness. This evil of Ernie's should be exposed in its full ugliness for all the World to see! And when the Martian invasion succeeds, it will be. I can guaran-dam-tee-it! Ernie will be osterized with extreme prejudice. His remains will be used to plug holes in leaky sewage pipes.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 PM

Ah, Bee-dubya-ell, there can be evil anywhere.
Even the most innocuous, most innocent, facade may be but a mask disguising evil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 01:46 PM

Oh my God!!!! Care Bears!!!! It's far worse than I thought! Give me evil mutant cannibalistic slime creatures with 5000 volt anal probes over f***ing Care Bears any day! We'll all die from insipidness!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Deity
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 01:03 PM

Yes, it's Me. The Deity. God Almighty. Yahweh. Allah. Whatever you want to call Me.

Anyway, don't pay any attention to whoever is claiming to be the Galactic Overlord. I created that position hoping that someone or something could take some of the responsibility for this galaxy off of My shoulders. Didn't happen, so I abolished the position and laid off the incumbent.

Good Me, some of those I allowed to be GOs became power hungry! The one I just laid off (and there won't be another) was, well, here's a picture.
And here's another
, you can see the resemblence to another, earlier GO developing.

As for the impending attack, here
is a picture of your "enemy."

Well, I hope to Me that this clears things up!


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