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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 14 May 03 - 01:47 PM
Amos 14 May 03 - 01:25 PM
MMario 14 May 03 - 01:01 PM
Amos 14 May 03 - 12:54 PM
MMario 14 May 03 - 12:47 PM
CarolC 14 May 03 - 12:43 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 03 - 12:28 PM
Rapparee 14 May 03 - 09:20 AM
Mark Cohen 14 May 03 - 12:31 AM
Little Hawk 14 May 03 - 12:01 AM
Amos 13 May 03 - 11:22 PM
Tweed 13 May 03 - 11:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 03 - 11:10 PM
khandu 13 May 03 - 10:17 PM
Amos 13 May 03 - 09:52 PM
khandu 13 May 03 - 09:47 PM
catspaw49 13 May 03 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 03 - 08:40 PM
khandu 13 May 03 - 08:23 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 May 03 - 07:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 03 - 06:13 PM
Amos 13 May 03 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 13 May 03 - 05:46 PM
Amos 13 May 03 - 03:45 PM
GUEST,Shiney Knause 13 May 03 - 02:23 PM
Amos 13 May 03 - 10:21 AM
catspaw49 13 May 03 - 10:17 AM
Little Hawk 13 May 03 - 09:55 AM
Amos 13 May 03 - 09:23 AM
Little Hawk 13 May 03 - 01:00 AM
Tweed 13 May 03 - 12:35 AM
Little Hawk 13 May 03 - 12:28 AM
Amos 12 May 03 - 11:54 PM
Little Hawk 12 May 03 - 11:40 PM
CarolC 12 May 03 - 11:21 PM
Little Hawk 12 May 03 - 11:13 PM
khandu 12 May 03 - 11:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 03 - 11:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 03 - 10:40 PM
khandu 12 May 03 - 10:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 03 - 10:13 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 May 03 - 10:09 PM
catspaw49 12 May 03 - 09:57 PM
GUEST,Sheeney Knause 12 May 03 - 09:25 PM
khandu 12 May 03 - 08:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 03 - 08:31 PM
Tweed 12 May 03 - 08:21 PM
CarolC 12 May 03 - 07:50 PM
Tweed 12 May 03 - 07:28 PM
CarolC 12 May 03 - 07:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 03 - 01:47 PM

'mad ilk disease' ? isn't that what wiped out the Red Ilk in Ireland?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 03 - 01:25 PM

Yeah -- we're swept up in a voracious epidemic of mad ilk disease -- everything seems related to everything else! :>) The malady affects the kith centers in the brain, which are right under the Kin lobe, I believe....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 03 - 01:01 PM

we're back to ilk, eh? Them ilk sure do get around!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:54 PM

Could be, Mario -- the sense in the contexts I have heard it in would then mean something like "WOBH" or "Blow me down!" or "Shiver me timbers!" or "Well, I'll be..." or other phrases of that ilk. I had always thought it had the connotation of "I'll swear!" which makes it a little more akin to "WTFO?" or "Aw, shit". But that's just an unqualified opinion.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:47 PM

regarding the "I swan" - a was told -= by someone who I respect , but also that I know has absolutley no qulifications to answer a question of this type - that "swan" in this case present conditional and/or future conditional of the verb "to swoon"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:43 PM

More sugar!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:28 PM

So...where's Momma?

Oh. There she is.

Lovely day, isn't it?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 03 - 09:20 AM

Shucks, I thought the answer to #8 was "dominatrix".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:31 AM

Hey Carol, you broke the President!!

Aloha,
Mark

Oh, by the way, beedub, the answer to the one you missed is "false".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 03 - 12:01 AM

Regarding the Winona song, Spaw...whaddya mean? The lyrics are inspired... :-)

Anyway, y' got to realize how I write lyrics, my friend. I don't premeditate them or preplan anything, they just happen in a natural way...and they come out exactly as they are meant to by whatever mysterious power uses me to write them. I surrender to the muse. That's the only way to write a good song as far as I'm concerned, though some people do it exactly the other way around...like Al Stewart with "Roads To Moscow" (which is a great song). Fine with me, but that's not how I usually do it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:22 PM

It is the character of great wisdom to be willing to go among the deeps and the low crevices of human thought, untarnished. That is all the test I need here! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:17 PM

That iz prolly the mos' f*(&^UP qwizz ever thought up by ennyone living today. Alzo Clear Channel Empiradio habv warped yore already twisted brain....Eagles?...Hotel California? Dammit, I yam staggered nearly unto catatonia thet thar iz nothin' regarding the allus repugnant FreeBird in that list.

#11 What seventies hit's bridge waz so long and irritating thet pore Tweed, the Good Pure and Allus Ethereal, iz caused to rant and make loud swears in public houses and traffic whenever it iz played on the radio. (Besides Hotel obv California)

Whar iz the multipell choice you did promise? I yam uncertain but I don't fink I got one right...except mebbe the SpawFart bonus where I marely checked everthing twice an' entered a phony Email address.


Yerz,
Tweed the Blissful


"WAAAAAAAAAAHH, Shoot this thang! Ar Shoot up here amongst us....One of us got to get some relief!"
from the BoarCoon Story by Jerry Clowers,the One True Bard and Historian of All Things Mississippian, who somehow knew this Mother of all BS Threadswould appear one day and left this cryptic message for future generations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:10 PM

Answurs two kwiz

#1 Mitch Mitchell
#2 Thick as a brick
#3 "Tangled Up in Blue"
#4 "We Ain't Got Nothin' Yet"
#5 Don't know, but I play "Hotel California" on the banjo. Do I get extra credit?
#6 David Lindley
#7 David Selby
#8 Alberta bound: Gordon Lightfoot
#9 Jim Gordon
#10 "Me and Bobby McGee"

Knower of Sum Things - Googler of th' Rest


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 13 May 03 - 10:17 PM

LOL, Amos Wiseguy! But you didn't put your great mentality to the quiz! Don't you want an autographed photo of somebody???

With this post, we pass the "Happy Birthday, Spaw" thread!!!!!!!

Guess I'll go post there just to keep it even!

A little less than a month to go before the real birthday, so we need some post-ers over there!

K


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 09:52 PM

Your Majesty:

Sorry, I was raised in a far distant land where the two words don't sound the same. Otherwise, I assure you, I would have differentiated between them! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 13 May 03 - 09:47 PM

Yeah, Spawzer, my Emmy caused me to shat a few times!

HERE IT IS!!! THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREAD QUIZ!!!

Each question is worth 10 points. The bonus is worthless. The person who gets them all correct FIRST shall win a...

SINGED BEARMAT!!!!!

Naw...just foolin'!

A signed photo of someone!

All questions are music-related (as is the answers!) except one (to make it harder!), it is TV related.

So here goes!

THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREAD QUIZ!!!!



!1?The first in the trio, the guitarist/singer died in 1970, the bassist died Sunday. If things follow a pattern, the drummer better watch out in 2036! Who is the drummer?

2?"Your wise men don't know how it feels to be?" WHAT?

3?Hootie and the Blowfish quoted what Dylan song in one of their songs?

4?The "Blues Magoos" had one "hit" in the mid-sixties. What was it?

5? The chord progression of "Hotel California" was inspired by what song?

6?This lap-slide player/singer/songwriter says he would not have ever learned to play had he not heard MJH. He was also on "Avalon Blues", the Hurt tribute album. Who is he?

7?Who starred as Quentin Collins?

8?"------- bound, ------- bound, it's good to be ------- bound". Fill in the blank. Who wrote the song?

9?This session drummer for many artists (Derek and the Dominoes, Zappa, Lennon, etc.) killed his mom and is in prison. Who is he?

10?Roger Miller covered this song, then Janis Joplin. What was it?

Bonus! It gets you no points but I am taking a poll!
Spaw's farts are:
(A)        Delightful
(B)        Pleasantly pungent
(C)        Pleasantly putrid
(D)        All the above

Go to it, boys and grills!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 May 03 - 09:14 PM

I had an Emmy once.....made me shit my ass off.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 03 - 08:40 PM

YAHOO!!!! HOT DAMN!!!! OH BOY!!!!

I'ze gud at kwizzes!

B etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 13 May 03 - 08:23 PM

Naw, naw naw, my dear Jessup!!! What the hail is wrong with you? You got the original tape, you got the Mudcat CD Series, yet you still don't know...IT AIN'T "AMY"!!!!!! IT IS "EMMY"..."EMMY"

" 'EMMY'
been married 'bout fourteen times", you mondegreener!

"EMMY", not "AMY"!!

Kk

PS...THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREAD QUIZ will be soon appearing with a great prize for the one who wins! Keep them eyes peeled!!!

K


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 May 03 - 07:30 PM

I don't think I like anyone puttin' down that buttercup of a man Sheeney. He seems like a suave, chivalrous caballero to me, even if he does admit to being crusty. Why, I even heard he has an original Peter Max painting of the series, 'Crappers'. There's gotta be something to that.

King K. You have eased my mind and calmed my spirit with answers to my quest for knowledge. I once again feel attuned to the earth and will sleep well tonight. Although I still wonder how the blind dream.
PoB and P-L Rustic

ps. There will be a total eclipes of the moon on Thursday,
the blood moon is what I heard it called today.
It will start at 10:13 central time,
a day away from full and in it's prime.
53 minutes of shadow we'll see,
I think I'll watch it, sitten up in a tree.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 03 - 06:13 PM

Amos, I didn't know that anyone had ever actually swanned. All the swanner's I've ever known (and my maternal grandmother was a swanner of great renown) have always said, "I'll swan". That puts the actual act of swanning at some unspecified point in the future. They are saying that they will swan, but not naming the time at which this swanning will take place. I always sort of assumed that when one got to Heaven St. Peter would pull out a book that listed the number of times one had said, "I'll swan," and one had to, then, swan that many times before being allowed through the gates.

Only on The Mother of All BS Threads could anyone get away with posting such drivel without being threatened by angry mobs.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 05:50 PM

This has got to be the most bolloxed up collection of half-dim thoughts since grandma got hit on the head by a gallon jug of the best. I swan.

Well actually, I don't swan, but I know someone who does....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 03 - 05:46 PM

No, I've changed my mind.

I agree with everything everyone has said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 03:45 PM

HE is, yes, Snidely. He's very big, very strong,, very scarey, has a very deep vpoce and eats twelve-strings for breakfast. His hands are registered lethal weapons -- he has to report in to the police when he intends to place them on a stringed instrument. He can kill a man with nothing more than an augmented chord. And he has a very, very short temper. He's built like a brick shithouse, too.

Just so you're ready.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shiney Knause
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:23 PM

Hello Mudcat Fokes,

Mah nem iz Shiney Knause, pernownsed "Shi-nee Ka-nowse". Ah berlieb youn's hab all reddy met thet worfless peece uv dawg-doo, Sheeney Knause. Fer wunce in his mizzerble life thet varmint wuz rite 'bout sumfin. He don' like me 'n Ah shore az Hell don' like hem. Lotsa peeples seems t' thank thet sense ar nems 'r so simular thet we iz brutherz er sumfin. Nuffin cood be futher ferm th' troof. He iz a low-life peece uv buzzard-bate.

Whut he duz thet piss me off so bad iz go 'roun t' places lak this'n on this Innernet thang 'n post hatefull, spitefull n' enflametary thangs. Then he hawlz ass off somere's else. Well, Ah uzhally cumz along a fue dayz later 'n when peeple sees mah nem thay go, "Thet's thet ass-hole thet said blah, blah, blah!" 'n choo'z me a new ass-hole wen Ah ain't dun a damm thang rong 'sept t' hab a simular nem to thet worfless sack uv maggits.

Well, az youn's kin see, Ah'm 'bout t' ketch up wid thet horse turd. Ah iz only a fue ours behin' hem now. 'N wen Ah ketches uppta hem ya'll jus bedder look out! 'Cause sparkz iz gonna bygodd fly thet's gonna mek th' Fortha July look lak a prayer meetin'! Yu heer me, Sheeney Knause? Ah'm cummin' after yore worfless ass! 'N Ah'm closer then yu thank, yu bagga pon' slime!

O, by th' way, th stuff thet th' sack uv snakeshit sed 'bout ya'll fokes iz mos'ly lies. Ah kin unnerstan' all uv yuns purty good 'sept fer thet Amos feller. He'z ferm thet Caleefornya place, ain't he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 10:21 AM

MOPP is Mission-Oriented Protective Pantaloons or some such -- the hot poppa suits worn by troops in areas where radiation is high.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 May 03 - 10:17 AM

Hawk, I know you to be a man of catholic taste, but your ode to Winona really shows you to be past that and on towards "sick." Really man..........

In the first verse you relate her to perhaps a sailboat. I can see that okay, but then you go on in the second verse to treat her as a member of the 82nd Airborne! What's with that??? Then along comes verse three where she is either back to a sailboat that needs a scrubdown or an alchoholic and you're a friggin' vampire with a Diner's Club. In verse four she seems to have morphed into a Roma lass who is about to have a Menage a Trois with you and the Village Smithy!

Man, I had to quit reading at that point. It was getting way too bizarre. You need to see a shrink 'cause things don't seem to be too copacetic in your brain!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 03 - 09:55 AM

Okay, so maybe it is the same Amy. She's definitely in Canada. She has really neat shoulders, and she's an excellent server.

Is that "Mother of Purple Prose" suit?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 03 - 09:23 AM

LH,

It is obviously the same woman as in Khandu's song, and whille you are not harbopring her, given te INTENSITY of the impact she had on Khandu before he became King, as a result of a very unstable and shall I say FICKLE character, it would be wise to tell him honestly that you have her up in Canada/ He thinks she went to Mexico. He was powful upset and had a scheme to recover her by traveling via Ireland -- don't ask. Anyway, tell him you've got Amy in Canada.

Wear your MOPP suit.

Very best,


A


I didn't know you were Coventry material!! I got sent there recently, didn't see you there!! Maybe you were out opn an alias or sompn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 03 - 01:00 AM

LOL! This thread is going to become legendary...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 13 May 03 - 12:35 AM

I do fantasize over Winona Ryder, Penelope Rutledge, Diana Rigg, Tammy (the dispatcher at the local Ontario Provincial Police station), Amy (the waitress at a certain Ontario coffeehouse), and various other females... all of whom have certain excellent points in common...."

Dere Hoss,
The only thing thar iz in common wif yore examples iz that all but one of them iz wimmin wif the oblivus exception ob Mz.Penal Rankbottom who iz in reality the nefarimous khing khandar, or mebbe the legendary fiddler Oakley, I am not sure which just yet. Thar iz a Punch the Horse thread chock full ob BS that I read and it seams this Okee haz made some sort ob shrine to the harpy and hab displayed the abominable thing in a pig sty so you are not alone in yore temple ob maddness.   

I don't know much about Frank Frazetta but I would never name a daughter of mine Frank so we are perdy much agreed wif that one.
It does greive me though to heer ob yore incarsenation by the O.P.P. but it seems you found a fine gal while there so that iz only right. Hopefully she fed you all walleyes and no pickerls (which I waz nearly kilt from eating az they are full ob bones).

I will close for the nite senz it's late and I have yet to check the Ebay for Cajun-type accordeens which I enjoy looking at and iz my only vice since I've all but quit cigarettes and squandering cash on vintage Vampirella magazines.

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 03 - 12:28 AM

Umm...I think that would be some other Amy, Amos. Got to be. Anyway, I'm not "harboring" Amy, I'm just a bit distracted by her.

Tweed has requested the lyrics I wrote in honour of Winona Ryder. Here they are:

        Perfect World (Winona)                                 
                                                               
I could take you out tonight
In a perfect world
In the glow of the harbour lights
In a perfect world
We would be the best of friends
To the limit, to the end
And never fall out of love again
Winona!

I could help you remove your boots
In a perfect world
Help you out of your parachute
In a perfect world
We could dance, baby, we could fly
Pirouette across the sky
Under the moonbeams you and I
Winona!

In a perfect world you would be my girl...

I could hold your hand in mine
In a perfect world
I could pour you a glass of wine
In a perfect world
I could even bite your neck
Hoist your sails and swab your deck
Go out to dinner and write the check
Winona!

I could have you by my side
In a perfect world
You could be my gypsy bride
In a perfect world
Under the spreading chestnut tree
There on the clover we would be
Together unto eternity
Winona!

In a perfect world you would be my girl...

Then everything would be so fine
In a perfect world
I'd be yours and you'd be mine
In a perfect world
Everybody would be in love
From the valley to the stars above
But it's you I'd be thinkin' of
Winona!

And What a movie we could make
In a perfect world
What a scene, baby, what a take
In a perfect world
Better than Bogart and Bacall
Better than Brando ten feet tall
Smokin' like a cannonball
Winona!

In a perfect world you would be my girl...
In my dreams it's a perfect world...
And in a perfect world you would be my
girl...

Copyright   ©   1994   George Coventry
Words and Music by George Coventry


The song was written in the mid-90's, and Winona was in a lot of great movies at the time. The "bite your neck" line was inspired by seeing her in "Bram Stoker's Dracula". That and "Little Women" remain my all time favorite Winona movies. I'll watch practically anything if it's got Winona Ryder in it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:54 PM

LH:

have you told Khandu, King of Etc., that you are harboring the girl known as Amy -- the one who left her soul dappled all over his brain? If not, you had better do so, or Orillia can surely look forward to an imminent invasion by the State of Mississippi. This being on the grounds that you are cultivatin wenches of mammary distraction...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:40 PM

Huh? Say what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:21 PM

He's no fun... he fell right over!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:13 PM

Tweed, I do not fantasize about Lieutenant O'Hara, whoever the hell that is...!

I do fantasize over Winona Ryder, Penelope Rutledge, Diana Rigg, Tammy (the dispatcher at the local Ontario Provincial Police station), Amy (the waitress at a certain Ontario coffeehouse), and various other females... all of whom have certain excellent points in common. Were I to list them, it would go on for quite a long time, so I won't.

What is the nature of those fantasies? Come now, Tweed, you're a man aren't you? Think about it. Do you really need me to spell out this kind of thing for you? I don't think so. I'll give you a clue, though....I'm romantic, and I hate Frank Frazetta's art. I prefer women with real class, like the Elf ladies in Lord of the Rings...and they're not that easy to find in this braindead culture.

I even wrote a whole fantasy song about Winona, though...I'll send it to you sometime.

Cheers,

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:10 PM

YAY!!! ENCORE! ENCORE!!
Let's have another one just like the other one!!!

Kk

YAY!!! ENCORE! ENCORE!!

Let's have another one just like the other one!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:03 PM

NOTICE OF MUDCAT MOMENTOUS OCCASION!!!!

The cummulative total number of posts to the "Happy Birthday, Spaw" thread and "The Mother of All BS Threads" has now reached or exceeded 500 posts. Way to go, whackos! Truly a milestone in the anals of bullshit! Now let's give 'em our cheer!

Whatta we want?
BULLSHIT
Whatta we need?
BULLSHIT
Whatta we got?
BULLSHIT
Whatter we full of?
BULLSHIT

Bruce or any of them other names you wanna call me by but just don't call me late for dinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:40 PM

Ah toldja, dammitt, Ah only knows a coupla things 'n anythin' havin' t' do wif Khandu n' Nooky ain't one uv 'em.

Bee-dubya ell, Knower of Justa Few Damned Things


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:31 PM

Rustic Rebel,PURVEYOR OF BEAUTY AND POETESS-LARIAT
The King would never allow any of your post to go ignored if he can help it!

Now, as to the q&a:
1. Do blind people dream in color?

Only if they have been reading the closed-captions on a color TV
2. Is there still fish-fuck in the water, when it goes through a filter?

Fish-fuck is still there...in fact, it is like Santa Clause, it is everywhere.
3. Do people who have cats also have hairballs in their stomachs?

Only if they enjoy fried cat (which is quite tasty!)
4. Do accordian players actually get paid for playing?

Do you call what they do with an accordian "playing"?
5. If you pulled the wings off a fly, would it be called a walk?

Yes, I know from personal experience, I had a house full of walks when I was a wee child.
6. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Vegetarians are not sane, therefore, they may eat what they wish and not be held accountable.
7. Could it really be true what Tweed said about Khandu and Tanuki being one and the same? (You are a tricky one, oh King!)

There is more to be considered and less to be assumed.

Of course, it would be best to ask bee-dubya-ell, for he is the KNOWER OF THINGS

I do hope that I have given comfort in your quest for answers.

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:13 PM

Dude, not only is there more than one Bozo on this bus, in this part of th' bus it's all Bozos.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:09 PM

To change the subject for a moment or two, I'd like to put forth some questions to you. Things that I ponder, things I don't know, answers I need, to help my mind flow.

1. Do blind people dream in color?
2. Is there still fish-fuck in the water, when it goes through a filter?
3. Do people who have cats also have hairballs in their stomachs?
4. Do accordian players actually get paid for playing?
5. If you pulled the wings off a fly, would it be called a walk?
6. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
7. Could it really be true what Tweed said about Khandu and Tanuki being one and the same? (You are a tricky one, oh King!)

*Note* I will not be offended if I recieve no answers, I actually wouldn't blame a soul if this post went completely unnoticed, forgotten, rejected,and/or deleted.
P-L Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 May 03 - 09:57 PM

I just posted this on the other thread and I think it fits here as well!!!!

Ya' know Ken, when I get to worryin' and frettin' over the fact that I know I have multiple screws more than a little loose, I think of you and about a dozen others in this place and I realize......

There is more than one Bozo on this bus.........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sheeney Knause
Date: 12 May 03 - 09:25 PM

Hello Mudcat peepel,
My name is Sheeney Knause, pronownsed "Sheen-ey Ka-nawse". Dont kenfuse me wif Shiney Knause, Ah iz not him, Ah iz Sheeney. Ah donut like Shiney Knause.

Ah hab ben lerkin here fer a few daze. Ah fill like Ah knoe yew all reely gudd.

But sum uv yew ar hard to udderstaind, yew talk so funney. Now, Ah udderstain Tweeb. He maiks cents to me. Is the ress uv yew farerners ar sumpin?

Hears whut Ah hab cum to udderstain about all uv yew.
Amus dont talk like nun uv yew, he must be frum summerselse. He prolly hab a gudd haid on his sholder but hit dont make noe difrunce how smart he is ifn he dont make noe cents.

bee duyell uset to talk funy but then he gotto talkin rite, Ah udderstain him almoss as gudd as tweeb.

King Kandyass must not be frum enywhur Ah ever heered uv caws he is not ferzakerly rapped too-tite an his dough dint git all the way dun.

Spaw? Not thet is a stranjun! Is he whut yew call hughmen? He is sorda like Kingkantankerous, his elervader dont go all the way up

Carol Crapper the Saller C gurl, whut kinda name iz thet? She gotsta be one uv them farerners to, and she drives them Honder Accordeons?

Rusty Rebel iz alot like me, old and rusty but crusty. Ah thank Ah like her. Iz she maired?

Thairs jest to minny uv yew to talk about, but Ah iz hairpie thet Ah fount this tread I have lernt alot and this tread makes alot uv sense to me, but thet mey be jist caws Ah is one of the smart Knauses

Yer Feind, Sheeney


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 12 May 03 - 08:41 PM

Helloooo all! I am pleased to see how many of you have joined in today! Because of you the...
MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS lives and breathes!

Now, Miss Bee, you actually know artbrooks! In the flesh! Well, well well, are you taking the grand opportunity presented to you? Or, could it be, since you have not read the whole MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS, that you do not know that he, artbrooks, is the Royal Bidet for Everyone?

He is! So, carpe diem!!!

I am certain that after a good, thorough washing, you will feel differently about the whole pastrami! You might well want to go back and read the entire thread and actually find yourself in complete harmony with bee-dubya-ell, the KNOWER OF THINGS!

Try it...you'll like it!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 03 - 08:31 PM

Whut this thread needs iz.....Bobert!!!!!

Accordin' to my calculations the Boberdz has not posted to this thread since 10:09 PM (MCT) on May 5th. Almost an entire week ago! Now, I understan' thet th' boy iz workin' reel hard tryin' t' git his piece of crap Spartanette trailer in good runnin' order so az t' impress the unwary citizenry of Mississipi with its, errr.... ummmmm.... whatever impresses a Mississippian. But, hey, this thread is MCHITM (Mudcat History in th' Makin'). Ya jus' can't ignore MCHITM on account of dumb things like work or fixin' up a trailer or eatin' or sleepin'. Git widdit, Bobert! Post sum BS! We know you ain't run out of it.

B&ATONKHGTM

(Bruce and All Them Other Names Kenny Has Give to Me)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 May 03 - 08:21 PM

Hmmm...My ExoFacto Queen, no amount ob lipgloss wuld ebver make Bob Dylan a good lookin' woman. He habv tried that and also eyeliner to no avail in the past.

LiddleHarg, what are yore deepest fantasies in regard to the beautimus Leftenant O'Hura?

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 03 - 07:50 PM

I don't know what could be wrong with him Tweed. It must be the really long, hard winter they had in Ontario this year. Cabin fever or failing eyesight or something. Maybe Ms Rutledge reminds him of Bob Dylan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 May 03 - 07:28 PM

Dere CarolC, SailorQueen ob all Canada, Maryland and Georgia,

I hab found, az apparently pore Spaw haz that you can leed a Harg to water but you can't mek him drink. I hope it's not too late for him and thet the sequinned-benecked Mme.Butterledge habv not convoluted him so az he iz unfit fore habving normal relatives wif normal wimmenz, who hab not got extended adam's appells. Try to intercede on hiz behalv even though you are no longer a publick sort of Queen and habv renounced yore legalcy. From this point on I will consort wif you only in regardz to what sorta accordina to obtain an' respect yore abniction ob the Royale Whitehall throne az I now beleive iz yore utmost hope.

Yerz,
Sir Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 03 - 07:10 PM

Sure, BWL (etc. etc. etc.). If you send me the screenplay, I'll pass it on to him. You never know...

Yo, LH, I think Tweed's suggesting that you should spend more time (and money) at the Atherly Arms.


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