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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Jul 14 - 11:32 AM
gnu 19 Jul 14 - 05:39 AM
Acme 18 Jul 14 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 14 - 07:32 PM
Amos 18 Jul 14 - 05:03 PM
gnu 18 Jul 14 - 03:04 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 14 - 11:09 AM
gnu 18 Jul 14 - 06:02 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 14 - 10:12 PM
Acme 17 Jul 14 - 07:41 PM
gnu 17 Jul 14 - 06:01 PM
Acme 17 Jul 14 - 02:09 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 14 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 14 - 12:54 PM
gnu 17 Jul 14 - 12:01 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 14 - 10:13 AM
Acme 16 Jul 14 - 11:55 PM
gnu 16 Jul 14 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 14 - 06:43 PM
Amos 16 Jul 14 - 02:29 PM
gnu 16 Jul 14 - 02:10 PM
Ebbie 16 Jul 14 - 01:40 PM
Acme 16 Jul 14 - 01:07 PM
gnu 16 Jul 14 - 12:16 PM
gnu 16 Jul 14 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 15 Jul 14 - 07:12 PM
Acme 15 Jul 14 - 03:22 PM
gnu 15 Jul 14 - 07:04 AM
Amos 15 Jul 14 - 03:58 AM
Acme 14 Jul 14 - 11:09 PM
GUEST,ATemporarily AMOS 14 Jul 14 - 10:59 PM
gnu 14 Jul 14 - 06:13 PM
gnu 14 Jul 14 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 14 - 03:07 PM
Acme 14 Jul 14 - 01:11 PM
Ebbie 14 Jul 14 - 01:02 PM
gnu 14 Jul 14 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 14 - 10:28 AM
gnu 13 Jul 14 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 13 Jul 14 - 04:48 PM
gnu 13 Jul 14 - 11:47 AM
Acme 13 Jul 14 - 11:30 AM
gnu 13 Jul 14 - 11:06 AM
gnu 12 Jul 14 - 07:03 PM
gnu 12 Jul 14 - 05:56 AM
Acme 12 Jul 14 - 12:04 AM
gnu 11 Jul 14 - 09:28 PM
Ebbie 11 Jul 14 - 08:53 PM
Acme 11 Jul 14 - 08:06 PM
beardedbruce 11 Jul 14 - 01:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 14 - 11:32 AM

As there appears to be irreconcilable differences, I propose the Traditional MOAB duel to sort things out. At dawn or some time after you awaken, bathe, brush your teeth, have breakfast, etc., you go to an open field or an appropriate street (although an fog-shrouded alley lined with live oaks dripping Spanish moss is best) and propel a projectile* in the direction of Pocatello, Idaho (don't do this somewhere where you might hit a house or another person or anything -- safety counts!). If you don't know the correct direction I suggest a map and a compass.

For my part, I shall return to Pocatello on the 27th, and on July 28th, as early as possible, I shall propel something in the direction of Moncton, New Brunswick.

Afterwards, our wounds bound by the surgeon, we retire to a convivial glass or twelve in a quaint old pub. In these situations even Budweiser is acceptable.

My attorneys, should you wish to contact them, is the old and prestigious firm of Rubor, Tumor, Dolor, and Calor.




*Bullets, nerf balls, rocks, arrows, crossbow bolts, cannon balls, cambers, banjos, death rays, frisbees, ICBMs, icy BMs, stale donuts from Tim's, moldy Spudnuts, locomotives, aspersions, kind words, rotten potatoes, insults, spears, javelins, dead horses, prayers, imprecations, or anything else that can be propelled. Just be careful and don't strain yourself -- be safe out there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jul 14 - 05:39 AM

Rap... as I have never employed your better half in either or combined profession(s), I can offer no opinion on such implied bad mouthin. If you wish to pursue your line of egregious questioning, I direct you to my solicitors, Dooey Pluckem Fuckem and Chuckem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 10:25 PM

I prefer the one about crossing a Universalist Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness - they knock on the door but don't have anything to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 07:32 PM

Dear Mr. gnu:

Please be advised that my wife is both a librarian (MA in Library Science from Villenova University, Fellowship in Medical Librarianship at St. Louis University, much experience) and an attorney (JD from University of Akron Law School, admitted to the Bar in Indiana and Ohio, admitted to practice in the Federal Courts of both States, Assistant General Counsel at the University of Notre Dame, private practice).

You bad mouthin' my wife?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 05:03 PM

My dog is never happier than galloping free among the pack at Dog Beach, tearing into the waves and out and tearing up and down to match pace with other dogs. It is canine paradise on earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 03:04 PM

If ya cross a librarian with a lawyer, ye get all the info ya want but ya can't understand it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 11:09 AM

Oh, yes! What would you like to know? How about autocoprophagic behavior in animals and people? There's a neat discussion of that. Or why only 6% of bulemics use "chew and spit" (a/k/a "CHSP") instead of vomiting? There's also a great discussion of flatus and its odor -- Spaw would have liked that. I'll bet you didn't know that the enzymes in saliva make it one of the better things to use on stains -- which gives you an excuse when you drool on yourself. Or about "hooping" in prison life, something that ol' Shame McBride could use to make money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 06:02 AM

No shit?!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 10:12 PM

I have been reading "Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal" by Mary Roach. There are a lot of great words and things in it, such as "grumous""glabrous" and "periblepsis." I have also come up with a great toast for someone you don't like: "May your oligosaccharides never break down!" (There is even a copy of the Bristol Stool Chart.)

Fascinating read.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 07:41 PM

Maybe the bug lady, one of these days?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 06:01 PM

I haven't had a large round number in 25 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 02:09 PM

I fear we have become rather blasé about some of these large round numbers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 01:04 PM

Mine! All Mine!!! Bwahhhahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 12:54 PM

That's good sippin' whiskey, son. You and the bug lady could sit out on the back porch sippin', watchin' the fireflies blinkin' on and off, your hand brushes hers and a spark jumps between you two...the likker explodes and you end up in the same hospital room...true romance awaits!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 12:01 PM

Smokes and lighter fuel? Dangerous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 10:13 AM

Hmmm...the cornmeal will ferment and make mash, which you can then filter and run through your still*. With the tobacco virus you'll have smokes AND booze, then invite the bug lady over and have a party!




*Something no home should be without.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 11:55 PM

Sprinkle a generous amount of ground cornmeal on the ground around where your tomatoes were and you'll cut down on the fungus that is in the soil under the plants. You can also make an anti-fungal tea by soaking cornmeal in water and then sprinkling or spraying from a backpack sprayer on the remaining plants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 09:48 PM

Yes, A. It is. I still have your smoke butts in my coffee table ashtray and your crushed up smokes box on the table as a reminder, a 'shrine to', if you will, your wonderful visitation with your cousin to my humble yet welcoming abode. Plus, like I said before, I can't be arsed to do any housework. It's a balance in my mind, eh? A justification that works for me.

SRS... I got seven small tomatoes today. Deeeelicious. The other 8 plants are toast due to tobacco virus. They are all messed up even with spraying them twice a week with hydrogen peroxide. Been on the news... Agriculture Canada alert too... all over the province. Bad news. Destroy your infected plants ASAP.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 06:43 PM

Or perhaps the most peaceful and intelligent .05%, as he doesn't drink their coffee unless forced to do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 02:29 PM

Ebbie: I am afraid not. Each would see a tiny figure holding binoculars.

Gnu: Some amazing pictures. Hard to believe our anniversary is coming up!

Rapp raises an interesting question. In an average Starbucks coffee-shop, how many by percentage or count as you see fit are actively having to restrain themselves from committing mayhem on the others? Is Rapp in the most primal 1 per cent? The most brutish ten percent? What's your guess?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 02:10 PM

SRS. Nope. Same 'new' pants with the belt cinched.

Ebbie. Is pot legal in Alaska? >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 01:40 PM

Question: If two people stood, say, a half mile apart and each precisely trained their binoculars on the other's lens, would the view for each be a humongously sized eyeball?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 01:07 PM

No, there's a camera in the way. Are these a new pair of pants after the ones you bought that are now too big? Are you planning to shrink out of these also?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 12:16 PM

Can you see the smile on my face? https://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/14690037983/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 11:37 AM

17 weeks - 19#. >:-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 07:12 PM

Okay, I'm back home again in Indiana. Got out of that Starbucks without having to kill anybody, thank goodness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 03:22 PM

MOM it supposed to rain down here this week. That's why I finally finished getting the soaker hoses set up, just in time to not use them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 07:04 AM

Did you know? This year (2014) there are five Super Moons. Just had one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 03:58 AM

Indeed. I have no arrived back in my lovely safe and well-equipped home in California where Spell Check rules, and am prepared to say that a two day visit tot he high Rockies (up near Mosca Pass) is like a sudden transport to another planet. My mind still reels with the extraordinary beauty of those mountain vales and peaceful stands of high conifers, dappling aspens, ponderosa and galloping Sand Dunes. Whew!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 11:09 PM

It's a bitch trying to write lucid remarks on a cell phone, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ATemporarily AMOS
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 10:59 PM

IAMOSITE am killing a little time intheSalt Lake City aero port having just bumped and wrangled my way down from DEnver, the world's most complicated airport. Spent the weekend hiking at around 8-10,000 feet, driving over higher passes up to 12,000. The perspectives were pure-dee amazing, I swan. All the creeks were swollen up and raging along, making the rolling pains happy. Late monsoon this year after a skimpy winter. Waving fr California shortly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 06:13 PM

Holy shit Batman! I just went outside to mow the back lawn. I just came the fuck back in. Lawn not mowed. The lawn mower was sweating.

Now, now, now... it's not Texas or some other exotic paradise kinda hot but I live where it goes from +40C to -40C on a accounta 'Mom Nature is gonna fuck with you' today and you deal with it. It's only about 40H right now but this little black duck is not gonna have a heart attack over some grass. It'll be there tomorrow.

My ladybugs are keeping the aphids at bay and laying eggs. I am so happy to have met The Butterfly Lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 05:56 PM

Put the coffee down and back away slowly. Keep your hands where we can see them and you won't get snaky! Let's see your medicinal caffeine licence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 03:07 PM

I'm in Starbucks, having escaped from my captors. Please send help!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 01:11 PM

I have a friend who is just on the north end of Greenwich Village, near the meatpacking district and Chelsea. Too bad you didn't say where you'd be sooner or maybe he could have let you go to his place to use his Internet. Maybe next time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 01:02 PM

"Ed Teach"? As in Blackbeard? A copy of his HEAD? That's not nice, Junior.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 12:06 PM

World Cup.

Schweinsteiger!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 10:28 AM

I maintain little pied a terre near Chicago.

HOW could you people allow Mom to sink so low as to associate with the British Establishment and developing Scotland??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 05:40 PM

I thought you lived in Pocatello?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 04:48 PM

I am moored at Chelsea pier 59 in NYC. No Internet the last couple of days due to connection problems. I have got to find A Better Way than to rely upon other's wifi.

I have sent the Legion a wonderful souvenir: an exact copy of the head of Ed Teach as it was brought back to Williamsburg. It will look nice behind the bar.

Tomorrow I'll be in Newport, RI and fly home to Chicago on Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 11:47 AM

Rap. Have ye been blown ashore?

A is off and far out. SRS only has time away for here absolutely beautiful garden and yard to post one word. Ebbie has gone football mad (as I shall be in a few hours... GO HIGH GERMANY!!!). Looks like a job for GNUMAN! gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnuuuuuuuuuuuu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 11:30 AM

Agreed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 11:06 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBdSqk78nHw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 14 - 07:03 PM

50% of humans are not as ______ as the other 50%. Do the math from there. CW me 2014.07.12 (and before).

Yeah... just came from Facebook. What a fuckin zoo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 14 - 05:56 AM

SRS.. don't see her around much. Only twice this year. I'd like to chat with her more often as she sure knows a lot about bugs. Alas, to do so would require me constantly checking the back property line to see if she is out with her net and other entomology tools (glass jar and such).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 14 - 12:04 AM

But the butterfly woman, or whatever insect - ladybug? - she sounded pretty nifty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 09:28 PM

I'll be keeping all my buttons done up. I am too old for any unbuttoning. Yes, 57 may seem young for some but not for me. I know me and my situation(s) so, there it is. I make light of it for myself and for any that may like my light. One has to laugh... or die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 08:53 PM

gnu, have you seen the prima woman lately? The one that hit all the right buttons?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 08:06 PM

I find if off-putting when someone who wants to date keeps trying to invite himself over to my house. I like him as a friend, as the saying goes, but I don't want to take it further. It's intruding on my space when he does that. I figure if I decline often enough he'll eventually get the idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 01:33 PM

Rapparee,

Orbital announced this morning that the launch of the Antares rocket for the Orb-2 Commercial Resupply Services mission to the International Space Station for NASA has been rescheduled for Sunday, July 13 at 12:52 p.m. EDT.


This should be visible to you?

http://www.orbital.com/NewsInfo/MissionUpdates/Orb-2/Maps/default.aspx


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