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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Ebbie 20 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM
Acme 20 Jun 14 - 11:57 AM
Amos 20 Jun 14 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 14 - 10:13 AM
gnu 20 Jun 14 - 06:47 AM
Ebbie 20 Jun 14 - 02:04 AM
Amos 20 Jun 14 - 12:52 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 14 - 09:01 PM
gnu 19 Jun 14 - 04:03 PM
Amos 19 Jun 14 - 02:53 PM
gnu 19 Jun 14 - 01:08 PM
Acme 19 Jun 14 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 14 - 09:49 AM
gnu 19 Jun 14 - 08:41 AM
Amos 19 Jun 14 - 02:20 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 14 - 09:36 PM
Amos 18 Jun 14 - 05:37 PM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 02:50 PM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 02:45 PM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 01:32 PM
Acme 18 Jun 14 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 14 - 10:05 AM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 08:03 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 10:57 PM
Amos 17 Jun 14 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 06:18 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 05:52 PM
Amos 17 Jun 14 - 03:16 PM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 02:10 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 01:03 PM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 12:38 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 10:49 AM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 05:28 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 03:15 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM
Acme 16 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM
Acme 16 Jun 14 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM
gnu 16 Jun 14 - 06:32 AM
Ebbie 16 Jun 14 - 02:39 AM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 01:19 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 12:33 AM
gnu 15 Jun 14 - 05:15 PM
Acme 15 Jun 14 - 04:00 PM
Amos 15 Jun 14 - 03:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM

Oddly enough, perhaps, it wasn't the foreignish words I was referring to!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 11:57 AM

Time to pull out the Google translate tool, Ebbie, and give them some of their own medicine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 10:23 AM

Aw Gnu, don't fuchsia yourself! Call on Rapparee!

Ebbie, sniping in foreign tongues is a didactic exercise in semantic profundity. It is to be applauded. The good Rapaire knows I hold him in my heart, as dear as any baccillus.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 10:13 AM

Ef þú veist þögnin þú þarft ekki að óttast óttast.

Ain't said nothin' bad, Ebbie. At least, I haven't. Lately. If you'd like I could do so. I know some zingers in Plattdeutsch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 06:47 AM

The Rose has lost it's blossoms. They levelled but Uruguay unlevelled it. Sniff. I guess I'll have to cheer for Germany and the Netherlands now. But... I had bugs for brekky! Still got three bugs.

7C here at 6:30. 14C tops with showers by late afternoon. Lovely weather! Better than having the AC running yesterday, in the house and in the truck. Tomatoes are in the ground and my back is in the toilet. BTW, the snapdragons are beautiful. Scored a nice hanging pot of pink begonias for $12. Mum said, "Oh, that's NICE! Do you think we have enough now?" Hehehee... wait until Coop gets the shipment of hanging baskets today. Fuschia here I come!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 02:04 AM

Hey! It scares me when two of my favorite guys start sniping at each other. Even if it is in fun, please observe the more delicate feelings of mine. (That's English. Barely.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 14 - 12:52 AM

Is é an tsúil go bhfeiceann an eagla go leor eile ar an tsúil ina eagla rialacha.

Or so the ancients have taught me in their profound "Managing Savants 101".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 09:01 PM

Mae yn y distawrwydd yr ydym yn dod o hyd i pwy ydym ni a beth rydym yn credu o ddifrif. Am y rheswm hwnnw, mae'r rhan fwyaf ofn tawelwch.

Or so Taliesin told me and I have found it to be true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 04:03 PM

Bugs n jugs n World Cup. England is down by 1 on a beeeeeautiful header but The Rose shall prevail. Or get on a plane. Whatever... I got bugs n jugs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 02:53 PM

Ní dhéanann sé a d'aimsigh an Tost úsáid a bhéal chun dreoilíní teaspaigh a mhúineadh; Tá sé a mhúineann dreoilíní teaspaigh mar an ghaoth ag séideadh sna crainn.

He who insults grasshoppers soon loses his fields of wheat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 01:08 PM

I scored cooked lobsters at $4.99 a pound. Haven't seen that price for YEARS! I saw the sign and the lineup so I caught the fish guy's eye and held up 6 fingers, to which he gave me a thumbs up. An hour later, I retrieved my prize. I'll be crackin bugs within the hour. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Ale, bugs and England v Uruguay on the pitch at 4.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 11:43 AM

It's about time for Little Hawk to turn up, quoting William McGonagall. Or perhaps we should cultivate a new set of tripe and share some Edgar Guest ditties. For example, in honor of the recent Father's Day:

Father

My father knows the proper way
   The nation should be run;
He tells us children every day
   Just what should now be done.
He knows the way to fix the trusts,
   He has a simple plan;
But if the furnace needs repairs,
   We have to hire a man.

My father, in a day or two
   Could land big thieves in jail;
There's nothing that he cannot do,
   He knows no word like "fail."
"Our confidence" he would restore,
   Of that there is no doubt;
But if there is a chair to mend,
   We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise,
   He settles on the spot;
He waits not till the tumult dies,
   But grabs it while it's hot.
In matters of finance he can
   Tell Congress what to do;
But, O, he finds it hard to meet
   His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read
   The things law-makers say;
Why, father's just the man they need,
   He never goes astray.
All wars he'd very quickly end,
   As fast as I can write it;
But when a neighbor starts a fuss,
   'Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can
   Do many wondrous things;
He's built upon a wiser plan
   Than presidents or kings.
He knows the ins and outs of each
   And every deep transaction;
We look to him for theories,
   But look to ma for action.


Damned with faint praise? Evidently he didn't think much of his father.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 09:49 AM

Idan mutum ya bi hanyoyin daya sami oneself, kamar yadda lalle ne a matsayin wanda zai iya ƙarfafa oneself by gano shirun da kuma cikin ba tare da.

Go, Grasshopper, and seek The Silence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 08:41 AM

Because The Truth Is The Poet Just Never Really Knows
Who He Or She Will Touch!

Twice today to his grand surprise
two men stopped him in the street
one he knew barely the other he didn't..
grisly older men
their gray hair deeply entrenched
there was no mistaking they were up in age
they were weather worn
spoke like old time sages
one stepped out of a pub the other caught him
at the bus stop..
The one out of the pub flatly stated:
" I wake in the morning to see what you've written
now I'll ask you to continue "
at the bus stop he was accosted with a question
" where do you find the words and how do you come
to this wisdom "
it all rather unnerved him because the truth is
the poet never really knows who he or she will touch:
or if their words are ever flowery
or strong enough
or if they'll ever be confronted
sometimes pleasant surprises come in small bunches

Clyde A. Wray
June 16, 2014
All Rights Reserved


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 14 - 02:20 AM

Roinnt lá a bheidh tú a fheiceáil anuas do mhachnamh féin agus shudder chun teacht ar do anam féin begging maithiúnas, mo dheartháir.

But until then, let the BS roll!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 09:36 PM

Ah, mon vieux Amos, tá tú chomh lán de cac a bhfuil tú súile donn, ach ní bheidh mé a shealbhú go gcoinne tú mé fear fíor ar an mhórbhealaigh.

Pat's doing okay; she goes off for several hours tomorrow for a dog-and-pony show about how to find out about old quilts. Also Friday and Saturday. The doc believes that he got all of the bad stuff out -- and there is an even chance that this was also caused by x-radiation "therapy" she had when she was 7 years old and not by UV. But who knows? It's out, gone, pfft, and there were clean edges all around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 05:37 PM

Mon cher Rapaire:

I am sorry I have 'urt your feelinz, mon ami, as you know I am always your fran'. But you muss realize 'ow it is you brang dese catastrophic calumnies, 'ow you say, down on your own shouldairz, yes? Zee responsibilitay, she is AVERYting, you zee?

A
Premiere des Voyelles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 02:50 PM

Oh, yeah! Rap... how's the boss doin with the surgery n such?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 02:45 PM

Sara Lee and me are bakin a Dutch Apple Pie. Well, it's not from Dutch Land. It's in that style. Boy OH boy it smells good. Yesterday, ran the new mini split heats pumps to ward off the semi-savage hot weather. Today, 15C, rain and a moderate breeze so the oven is welcome to supply the heat and the aroma. Them pies that Sara puts together are $4 on sale and, buddy (buddyettes?), no way ya could put such a pie together for that price unless ya had yer own orchard. Mum tell me they are deeeelicious. I wouldn't know on accounta I don't eat sweets at all. Oh, I know I will eventually develop a sweet tooth as I age. Just seems to happen from what I seen over the years with the old folks I know. I expect that when I get to Rap's age, I will be suckin on hard candy while I sleep.

Soon be time to cook the roast beef (boneless blade roast, spuds, carrots and turnip leftovers) hash. Why am I telling all and sundry on the internUt such? I dunno. I am bored. It's raining. My back and legs are in constant and moderately severe pain and every arthritic joint in my body is asking for relief but I refuse to give them pain killing drugs. Fuck em... pussies! All I have to do is clean this dump up and, well, youse all know I have a housework allergy. So, I bore youse with my constant and moderately severe drivel.

Heh. If you read all that, at ease, carry on... smoke em if ya got em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 01:32 PM

If I am elected Prime Minister of this land, The True North Strong and Free, there will be a crossword puzzle in every bathroom and outhouse in the nation from sea to sea to sea to border. Oh Canada, I sit on guard for thee.

BTW... did you get 9 Down today? I don't watch movies with that Will Farrell guy in them... or whatever the hell his name is. Can't stand him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 12:39 PM

Seems to me that it's time to dance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 10:05 AM

Amos hurt my feelings and I've spent the entire night huddled under the porch, whimpering and crying. My self-esteem is in tatters and my id has packed up and left with my Ego and Superego to drown their sorrows in alcoholic beverages and they told me that they may never return. I no longer have even a smidgen of a gestalt left.

OH, WOE IS ME!!!! Living in desert country there is not even a river into which to cast my lorn and bereft body!!!! Therefore I shall not End It All.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 08:03 AM

Those darns kids, eh? What will they come up with next?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:57 PM

Is that in English? I have a degree in English and even some graduate work in it and I've even taken a class in linguistics. Treeing and/or diagramming the sentences in your last post yield The Last Post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 08:10 PM

I am talking about the post from the Dark Side of Rapaire, dated 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM , in which you glibly shunned owning up to an egregious miscomprehension by pretending you were talking about something else, which in fact you made up on the spot to use as rationalization of the most transparent and disingenuous kind.

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 07:32 PM

Amos? What are you talking about? My last post dealt with my wife's third bout with cancer. It was a basel cell carcinoma, with morphea, that was removed (probably in its entirety) by Mohs' technique of surgery for such things.

I'm putting in a request to The Board that you have your Vocabulary License downgraded to Monosyllabic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 06:18 PM

Well, so far she's had a trifecta on cancer. It looks like this one got knocked out on the first try.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 05:52 PM

Bravo Amos! Well done! I only had to look up one word from your last post. Thanks for 'dumbing down' things for this poor good old boy from the fly infested bog country of Kent County, NB.ca.

Hmmm... have I challenged the literary dragon that I might now be consumed in an eternal flame of a spate of verbiage of which I am bereft? If so, so mote it be. Sides, I can't be arsed to look up alla them there words what I don't know. Long as I gets the gist of er, I'm cool. Now... mowing and planting tomatoes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 03:16 PM

Rapparree, your glibness is beyond mortal comprehension, and there is none more facile, more deft at evasion, more dissembling, more jejune, or more meretricious than your own exalted self. Maybe you should try re-experiencing the Great Naked Entrance from which we all draw our more realistic powers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 02:10 PM

Good luck to Pat with that procedure. I need to see a dermatologist one of these days, see if there are any spots that need addressing. (None that I know of, but having a trained eye take a look is a good thing).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM

Oh dear I hope all goes well and recovery is quick with as little pain as possible.

I don't think Vic is putting anything in. No veggies last year... his wife passed suddenly last winter and he took it real hard. I'll offer them to George and Linda. Ten bucks says they will refuse them. Just a buck on the snarky comment part. Depends on what kind of mood they are in. Hmmm. Now I am curious....

George was takin a break from yard work and drinkin from an unfamiliar dark brown bottle. He was very talkative and offered me one which I politely refused, being insure of the contents. He was glad to take the flower8s and promptly hollered, "Linda. ya got a couple more flowers to plant." Sooo... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7... about that; 11/7 = $1.57 each. I'll have it next time youse are in town. If ya want me ta mail it, it $0.38 but since we don't got no pennies no mare, I gotta round that up to 40p. I'll spring for the envelope since I am such a nice guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 01:03 PM

Well, I got Pat to the dermatologist in time for her surgery this morning. Mohs -- a basal cell carcinoma on her neck. Normally nothing much but this is sitting on top of on the scars from her thyroid cancer surgery, and since it's a "morphea" type it could take some time to get it all out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 12:38 PM

Seems a shame to waste two. Is there someplace you can plant them as a surprise for a neighbor? A random act of kindness?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:49 AM

140 Snapdragons potted. 2 didn't make it. 2 left... anybody want em?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:30 AM

MOM nearly fell off the bottom this morning while you lot are busy composing ditties.

Yer welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM

I have a Poetic License. Number 58001 as a matter of fact. Never expires, even after I'm theoretically "dead." I also happen to know that yours was revoked, Amos, for penning Alexandrines without a caesura and with thirteen syllables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM

IF you think Fifty Eight K and one is the same as Fifty Kay, Eight and One, you have some very basic reeducation ahead of you, my fran'...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 05:28 PM

Now fifty-eight K and one
Heaves into our sight
Sails full rigged and bos'n tight
Captain drunk and very numb
Boy! does Mom think he is dumb!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 03:15 PM

Now no longer need you wait
For here is Fifty K and Eight!
Scribble more upon your slates
And toss your BS out to Fate.
None can lose where none has won,
But when the Kays reach Fifty-One
We'll know a fine days' work was done
And all may go out drinking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM

Be of good cheer, Gnuser--being naked is the only way to start out. We all did it! It was great! And look how well you turned out! Chin up, best foot forward, and release the bitterneess unto the Great Void, and hie thysel' off to the sunnier side of the street. I am sure there is one somewhere in Moncton...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM

For Rap: Picked up from a link by George Takei on Facebook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 10:44 AM

I was hoping to do solar panels this summer but the transmission may have put a halt to those plans. Thanks for the reminder, though - I'll still do the research.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM

Humph! WE'RE having a new furnace (98% efficiency) AND new A/C installed at the end of July/first of August!

Of course, the heat exchanger in current furnace won't take another winter and the A/C is so old it require someone to pump up the gas so that the compressor will compress, but that's good exercise. Then we need part of the deck rebuilt and work done on the columns out front and...does anyone know a reputable loan shark? Fortunately the electric furnace can simply have the parts replaced as they fail.

However! I have been given the location of a large cinnabar deposit and hope soon to file on the claim. Then I'll be rich, rich, rich!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 06:32 AM

See what happens when you bare your sole? Yer naked. And it's cold here. I have a hoodie on... with the hood up. This is the best spring we've had in years. Two years ago, during the second week of May, it went from early spring to summer in two days and it stayed hot until into October. It was so bloody hot that, on many days in June to September, Mum only got out of the house to get in the car to go to the grocery stores. This has been a glorious spring and I expect it to continue for another week. After today, my house, and tomorrow, Mum's house, will have mini-split heat pumps... screw summer heat. $3800 each but they will pay for themselves in 5 years by reducing the AC and heating bills. Fujitsus with ten years parts and labour. If they work well, I will flog the four air conditioners we use now and that will further defray the cost. So, I do lead an exciting life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 02:39 AM

I, for one, Gary, would enjoy knowing you better; one way to do that is to read what you write. Say the word and I'll send you my email address...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 01:19 AM

Well, this constraint set is self-elected, and I ain't gonna run up there from here and buy you a damn puppy, but only because I can't choose one for ya. If your other writings are as good as the stuff you flog here at Mom's safe haven, then you oughta be putting them out there on Scribd or some such writer's site. To reach is divine, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 12:33 AM

Gnu, you realize now that we'll be staying at your place through New Years, right? Mom said to "Make tracks for Moncton" and we do what Mom says.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 05:15 PM

Yeah, I know. Fact of the matter is that I am a bitter recluse who doesn't want any 3D fiends, human or animal. There... I said it. I even tried to dissuade Amos from visiting and he wouldn't take no for an answer, for which I am grateful as it was the best night of my life in a long time... and since.

So, there it is for what it's worth. I envy both of you. I just ain't ready yet. I have hoed a loooong row and the weeds took over. I may get my garden back someday. For now, I write poetry, songs, and prose but I keep them to myself. I have friends on the internUt and you are among them. You and sundry are my solace and sanity.

Now... how's that for honesty? And, no, don't answer. I am baking cookies and I cannot be distracted. Spice cookies. They smell deeeelicious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 04:00 PM

And you've heard plenty of stories of the trio who live at my house. As far as quality of life, they can be a game-changer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 03:35 PM

Gnu. think twice. A dog --if you choose wisely-- will fill your heart and make you get exercise. All I can say is, Maggie the Dog (and her secret identity, Mudflanks McFuzzbutt the Rocket Dog) has been very good for me.


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