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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 11:56 AM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 12:00 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 12:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 01:13 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 05 - 01:43 PM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 02:13 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 02:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 02:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 02:44 PM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 04:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 05:10 PM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 06:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 06:34 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 05 - 08:26 PM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 08:47 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 10:12 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Mar 05 - 02:38 AM
Layah 12 Mar 05 - 10:13 AM
Acme 12 Mar 05 - 12:32 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 05 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 05 - 09:33 PM
Acme 13 Mar 05 - 12:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Mar 05 - 09:58 AM
Acme 13 Mar 05 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 05 - 12:27 PM
Bunnahabhain 13 Mar 05 - 08:51 PM
Layah 13 Mar 05 - 08:58 PM
Acme 14 Mar 05 - 02:28 AM
Acme 14 Mar 05 - 09:15 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Mar 05 - 09:20 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 14 Mar 05 - 09:27 AM
Layah 14 Mar 05 - 02:22 PM
Rustic Rebel 14 Mar 05 - 03:11 PM
Acme 14 Mar 05 - 05:36 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 14 Mar 05 - 07:18 PM
khandu 14 Mar 05 - 08:19 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Mar 05 - 10:53 PM
GUEST,Chuckles 15 Mar 05 - 09:17 AM
Layah 15 Mar 05 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 05 - 05:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Mar 05 - 06:14 PM
Acme 15 Mar 05 - 07:58 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Mar 05 - 09:01 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 05 - 09:19 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Mar 05 - 09:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Mar 05 - 10:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:56 AM

What about if you use a different calander?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:00 PM

Prominant MudCat figure accussed of causing geologic event


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM

I didn't know that Spaw was "acussed." Never heard the word used like that before. Must be medieval.

"The owl for all his feathers was a-cussed."

"Don't go there, milord, for it is an acussed place."

Probably from the south of England.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:09 PM

fingers slipped.

or it's the north-east southern west england long u.

your pick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:08 PM

danged if today isn't the most monday of fridays I've had in a long time. e-mail service is down; my brother-in-law has an undetermined "leak" in his circulatory system - the cats are pissed at me because I went to bed last night instead of staying up until they decided to come inside - its still feekin' snowing outside; and to top it all off my seedless orange has pits in it!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:09 PM

Sounds like my last trip to New York City.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:13 PM

the pits in the orange are about the last straw...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:43 PM

I take it back, I will get into the number game. I get dibbs on thread number 78910. (thanks Bee-dubya)


Hello back at ya' Tweed. Tweed you around here? Have you ever seen Jim Belushi and the Sacred Hearts? I'm going to see them tomorrow night. I've never seen them or even heard their music but reading about them they sound 'Kick-Ass'and full of talent. I read Jim does at least one back flip per show and dances on the tables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:13 PM

6800. I rest my case.

Sorry to hear about your orange, MMario. Was it a soliary fruit (a navel orange?) purchased for a meal, or are you growing a new type of cold-weather tolerant tree?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:23 PM

it were breakfast.

truth be told it was a clementine - which is a bastard offspring of a mandarin and a sweet orange.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:33 PM

"78910", huh? Let's see... It's taken almost two years to get to 7,000 posts. But the rate of posting seems to be rising exponentially, helped along by nitwits like Flamingo Ted who post 20 blank posts per 100 trying to capture the mystical hundredth post. So, at the current rate of postal acceleration we should be to post #78,910 somewhere around, oh... the end of this May? That would require that posting accelerate to something in the 5,000 posts-per-day range by mid-April. Yeah, we can do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:44 PM

And why does the Google ad want me to buy beignets from the Cafe du Monde? What do beignets have to do with BS or folk music? They're not even real coon-ass food. Crawfish ettoufe' is real coon-ass food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:47 PM

all I got in the ads is the same dang "buy CD's" I see all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 04:39 PM

You buy them beignets and I'll eat 'em for you. 'Course, you'll have to fly me down to N'awlins since they're only good sittin' in the Cafe du Monde and watching The River go by. I'll even eat that etoufee, too, for ya. I'm just one nice guy, that's all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 05:10 PM

Tell ya whut, Rapaire, fergit N'awlins. Jus' come on down here an I'll get my buddy Mike t' cook up some stuff fer ya. Mike useta live in N'awlins an' him an' Paul Prudhomme wuz neighbors. Chef Paul might be a good cook, but seems he cain't change a lightbulb on his own. So Mike got t' doin' little odd jobs aroun' Chef Paul's place an' Paul repaid him with cookin' lessons. Oh my, but th' boy can cook up a potta gumbo! An' I'm shore he can whoop up a beignet er two if'n he's in th' mood. Onliest difference is instead uh sittin' in th' Cafe du Monde an' watchin' th' Mizzippi flow by, ya'd hafta sit on Mike's deck an' watch Bayou Texar flow by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 06:01 PM

The Bayou probably has a more restful pace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 06:34 PM

Yes it do. Only around here "bayou" doesn't have a really distinctive meaning. In Louisiana it seems to pretty much mean a swamp with a creek running through it. We have one or two of them, but we have several bayous that would be called rivers in most places. No swampiness, just running water. The one my friend live on, Bayou Texar (pronounced "tayhar" - Spanish style), is really a river. But it's much more mellow than the Mississippi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 08:26 PM

Suckin da head of da mudbug,
that's what da people do.
Rip da head offin' da creek crab
and suck in all da goo.
I'd like to get me some crawdad's
boil 'em up like a stew,
but da juice and da fat in da river lobster's head,
I think I will give to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 08:47 PM

My yard is on Sycamore Creek, a year 'round tributary of the Trinity River. There is a magic and a connectedness to the natural world I find even on a little creek like this that is so much larger than just having a lot in town with a house on it. (And that's no BS!)

No crawdads, that I've seen, but we seem to have some really big freshwater clams. I've found shells as much as 5 and 6 inches across. Fish, turtles, snakes, lots and lots of birds. Coyotes, foxes, skunks, possums, and children who play along the banks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 10:12 PM

My back yard backs up to the Highland Golf Course. No crawdads, but I did see a couple of dads with their young 'uns out there walking/running around this evening. No coyotes, either, but the neighbors' dachshund has found a way through the fence. I've found some rather expensive golf balls in my backyard, and have wondered about the poor old golfs who lost them and how their love lives are doing. But the best of all is during the Summer, when we can eat dinner on the porch and watch the golfers -- someday the City is gonna charge an entertainment tax -- and the sun gradually sink behind the Western mountains 70 miles away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 02:38 AM

I live 50 Yards from Holyrood park, in Edinburgh. A steep 700 foot hill in the middle of the city makes a really nice break. I just watched the sun rise over the hump of it called Sampsons ribs. Not too much wildlife, except a huge selection of Corvids, and a guy who flies a large kite off it on windy days, at the edge of a 150 ft drop.

I must go and dance now.

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 10:13 AM

You're off to dance at 7:30 AM (if I calculate the time change correctly) on a Saturday morning? What in the world are you doing? People should not be awake that early on a Saturday morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 12:32 PM

Wait a couple of more weeks and it'll be even earlier (that darned Daylight Savings Time kicks in here in the U.S. at least).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 03:44 PM

Daylight Savings Time is not real. The clocks are not "turned forward" -- what actually happens is that the Bavarian Illuminati, the Council of Seven, the G-8, and the Rosacrucians, all working for the Bohemian Club, actually make the Earth rotate faster. In the Fall, of course, they make it slow down. That's why winter days can seem so long, while summer evenings go by so quickly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 09:33 PM

So I went to the store, see? And I bought this set of doorknobs. They don't have to turn or anything, just something to grab and pull. And I bring 'em home and install 'em. No big deal at all. But you know what the instructions said?

Remove old knob and install new one.

That's a direct, absolute, no changes, unedited quote.

Fortunately, I was bright enough to figure out how to do it without further instructions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 12:04 AM

I thought it would be interesting to replace a few of the modern brass doorknobs in my house with some older-looking glass knobs. Unfortunately, the instructions listed above were insufficient. I forget what the problem was, but the knobs were not interchangeable. Too bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 09:58 AM

Well, I don't have a river, creek, bayou or anything else flowing by my property (though there is a nice creek on the adjoining uninhabited property that we can visit the creek as often as we wish). But we do have a 1/2 acre pond with an island in the middle of it and we do have THIS to sit in while we watch the lilly-pads grow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 10:34 AM

A pond is excellent also--what counts is that it is water--but we can't see yours yet because it says we must be logged in. There's a pond up the street from us, and lots of ducks hang out there. We have egrets and herons and ducks and various accipiters, owls, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 12:27 PM

We've got a pond we can visit just outside Cheyenne. And there's another one near Bozeman. This pond. is closer, but there are all these darned birds....   (I saw the Whooping crane mating dance last year.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 08:51 PM

Ahh, MOAB, a calm refuge from the serious talk on those mayflies of threads. A slice of the nicer side of life, or just plain idiocy, either is good. Just so long as all this bird talk doesn't start praising pidgeons.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 13 Mar 05 - 08:58 PM

But pidgens are great! You get two languages and put them next to eachother and people make a pidgen, just like that. What's even more exciting is children of pidgen speakers, because then they make a creole, turning something that isn't quite a language into a full and complete language. In a single generation a language is created. Or isn't that what you were talking about?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 02:28 AM

We have your yard-bird variety pigeons ("rock doves") and white winged doves and mourning doves around here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:15 AM

And then there's this bird, no doubt now deceased. This was a photo stashed in my old computer, and thankfully I didn't delete it from the corner where I tucked it at work as a conversation piece.

The story is that a friend out in the wilds of West Texas kept finding messy splats on his glass doors, and occasionally dead doves on his porch. A neighbor finally showed him the trick of holding something dark (in this case, cardboard) behind the glass and you can see why the dead bird. This is a sort of "death mask" or a full-body-print of a dove making a grave miscalculation about that dark opening on the side of that bui. . .

THWAPPP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:20 AM

Arggghhh!!! No!. May Shatner dance naked on your graves!

Pigeons are horrible things. Winged rats. Vermin. Not even a nice red wine sauce can redeem them.

These, of course, are urban pigeons. Rural ones are just another bird, rather than the cause of rants.

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:27 AM

Hi, I'm Chuckles. That's not my real name which is actually untranslatable into your language. I'm a fred, and I'm the egg-brother of the late Bubba Bubba. Since Bubba Bubba was trying to mitosize with someone named Bee-Dubya-Ell when heitshe was forced from these matrices, it's my duty as egg-brother to avenge itshehe's rejoiced overpassing.

If anyone knows where this Bee-Dubya-Ell is I would greatly appreciate knowing it. I promise that whatever the Bee-Dubya-Ell is it's consumption will be felicitious.

Oh, I also need something that I think you call a "Komodo Dragon." Are there any used ones available? I have only a little extra iridium with me with which to purchase one.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 02:22 PM

London has the fatest pidgeons I've ever seen. They could barely waddle out of the way fast enough not to get stepped on. I think they must improve after they turn into creoles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 03:11 PM

Dear Chuckles (fred),
Forget it pal. We aren't giving you Bee-dubya-ell. Take your fredness and get on down the road chump. You freds have consumed enough earthlings to satisfy the needs of a hundred and ten thousand dragons.
We will not give you another. Good thing Bee-Dubya's link didn't work or you could have traced him by the pond sucking on a lily pad frond. Ha-ha and Har-har!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 05:36 PM

You tell 'em ('im, 'er, and it)!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 07:18 PM

Chuckles is not a fred! Chuckles is a fraud! Why? Because Chuckles said, "I'm a fred..." There is no such thing as a fred! There is only "freds". We've been through all this before. "Freds" is singular, plural and communal. The entire race is "freds". Three freds in a meeting are "freds". One individual is "freds". "Freds" is never modified by an article. "The freds" or "a fred" or "those freds" make no grammatical sense to freds.   

If Chuckles were real he would have said, "I am freds..." in which case I would be totally creeped out, scared shitless and using what's left available on my VISA card on a one-way ticket to the Middle of Nowhere. But, since he's an obvious charlatan I shall break wind loudly in his general direction and go on about my business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 08:19 PM

Right said, Fred!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 10:53 PM

But left said his wife, and two minutes later, after the 'who's driving this car?' arguement got out of hand, straight on to the hospital was agreed on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 09:17 AM

I made the "mistake" knowing that it would lure the Bee-Dubya-Ell creature out of hiding. I am the greatest hunter among freds and I knew that would work. Now I know were the Bee-Dubya-Ell is, it is somewhere around a place called Pepsicola in the North American Southland. Do you know where I can get a used Komodo Dragon, preferably more, for only a little iridium? I would rather have new ones, but I have only a little iridium to spare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 09:24 AM

Well, I know this guy who hangs out behind gas stations trying to sell used komodo dragons, but don't think I trust him. He seems a bit dodgy. Keeps them hidden under his coat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 05:36 PM

Here, Mom. I'll help you back up. Not like those others lazy, no-good bums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 06:14 PM

Dear Chuckles,









PFFFFFFTOOOOOOTTTTT!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 07:58 PM

The Chuckles lineup. BWL, can you identify the culprit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 09:01 PM

Those were not Komodo dragons. I asked one and it told me it was an iguana in the witness protection scheme. Plus, it tasted wrong with barbecue sauce. Did you get a good look at the guy? The FBI are trying to identify him, so thay can tell if it's the job of the CIA or NSA to track us down an


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 09:19 PM

Okay, that's enough. I want you people to stop now. Be done with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 09:52 PM

I have been released by the large men in dark galasses, who turned out to be secret service. Apparently they, like Little Hawk want us to stop, cease and desist. Unfortunatly, they also forgot to mention what it is they wish us to stop doing. This leads to several possible conclusions.

Little Hawk is a member of the secret service.

Spatulas have been classifed as a WMD, and MOAB has been idenitifed as the source for a major outbreak of them.

The dolphins are right. Please tell us if anybody mysteriously gains engraved fishbowls

All three.

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 10:49 PM

I didn't see anyone who looked like Chuckles on that Google Image Search page, SRS. So I did another search using "space creature fred" and, sure enough, THIS is the guy.

It's really not surprising that Chuckles should look like some boy toy actor I've never heard of. After all, Bubba Bubba bore an amazing resemblence to Heather Locklear. But then hesheit turned into a giant fungus. That good looking guy is apt to look like THIS tomorrow.


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