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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 06 Jan 14 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 08:42 PM
Amos 06 Jan 14 - 08:34 PM
Pete Jennings 06 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM
gnu 06 Jan 14 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 10:05 AM
gnu 06 Jan 14 - 06:12 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM
gnu 05 Jan 14 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 08:31 PM
Amos 05 Jan 14 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 02:32 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 05 Jan 14 - 01:11 PM
Ebbie 05 Jan 14 - 03:19 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 PM
Acme 04 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 05:28 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 10:48 AM
Pete Jennings 04 Jan 14 - 10:35 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 AM
GUEST 04 Jan 14 - 05:14 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 14 - 10:38 PM
Amos 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM
Acme 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM
Pete Jennings 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM
Amos 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM
Acme 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM
Acme 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM
gnu 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:02 PM

Rap, that sounds just about as bad as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Except it's a poke in the sinus, right below/behind your eye. I hope you feel better soon after all of that takes place!

It didn't get above freezing here today. Considering that this is generally acknowledged to be in the south, that is a disheartening winter day. There haven't been any of those delightful 65 or 70 degree days we get occasionally in the cool season. We all need to double up on our vitamin D capsules.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:53 PM

Dear Mom MOAB,

I forgot to mention that I might not be checking in on Wednesday, or if I do it will be late in the day. And it might not be very coherent.

You see, I'm having some more oral surgery done and I will be receiving anesthesia by IV and you know that always makes me sleepy. This time they are going to put in the "plugs" for the last of the implants. Yes, the bone graft worked very well and I thank the person whose cadaver supplied the (sterile, freeze-dried) bone for the lattice work.

But they are also going to do something more. It appears that I have a very, very chronic infection of the my right sinus. The good doctor (dental surgeon -- MD and a DDM) is going to drain that nasty ol' sinus, wash it out, and put a cork in any hole he makes.

It should be obvious to everyone except Amos that this will improve my already-dulcet singing voice to the utterly angelic, a voice suitable to cause ecstasy in all who listen. I am thinking of opening a used lingerie store to recycle the "intimate garments" I expect that women with fling at me.

Your fave rave son,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:42 PM

Currently in Churchill, MB it's -13F with a wind chill of -39. By Thursday the high will be a balmy -6F.

Okay, Amos, you asked for it. We'll come to Sandy Ego at the end of February just to see what (if anything) besides the MCRD is there. You have been warned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:34 PM

Fifteen to twenty Farenheit? I'll say you're cool with the weather. In case you hadn't noticed , Mister Aleutian Refugee, those are lethal temperatures for skinny dippers and sunbathers alike.

At least here it gets up to 60 or 70 in the midday stretch. We get a chance to resuscitate ourselves before evening sets in and the temps crash down to a frigid 50 degrees F. Bitter, I tell ya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM

Been stormy and raining here for days and days now. Some folk are really getting a hammering. No snow or ice here in Staffordshire, though. 8.5C today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:45 AM

Winter will begin here on the 16th or sometime soon after. I just hope it will bring a steady and dry cold.

I assume your full moon is about a day earlier, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:05 AM

Compared to the rest of the country and a lot of Canada, I'm cool with the weather here.

Mind you, Winter ain't over yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 06:12 AM

Balmy, Rap but, then again, I like boring. Gonna be a mess here... no way they can clear all the slushy ruts before they refreeze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM

Aw! That's TOO bad.

Monday, January 6: Clear, 30 | 15 F, Chance of Precipitation: 0.

Tuesday,January 7: Overcast, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation, 20%.

Wednesday, January 8: Overcast, 37 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation, 20%.

Thursday, January 9: Snow Showers, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation: 50%.

Friday, January 10: Snow Showers, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation:
30%

Saturday, January 11: Ice Pellets, 38 | 28 F, Chance of Precipitation: 50%

Sunday, January 12: Snow Showers, 34 | 19 F, Chance of Precipitation:
50%

Monday, January 13: Partly Cloudy, 33 | 18 F, Chance of Precipitation: 10%

etc. Boooooooring! Nearly as bad as Sandy Ego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 09:40 PM

10C and a half inch of freezing rain tomorrow? Old Man Winter must die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 08:31 PM

"Chongo" was also Chinga's twin sister, Chonga, until s/he talked a missionary doctor into doing a gender-bender operation. When it was over s/he forced his/her sister and mother into a Life Of Shame to pay for it. Their mother died, Chinga developed her natural intelligence and talents into the success she has become.

Her sibling stowed away on a banana boat, sneaking into the US in Elizabeth, NJ and eventually setting him/herself up as a "private eye" in Chicago. No license, no real office, no ambition except to shoot firearms at random, nothing, not even the ability to rotate around the carpometacarpal joint and thus enjoin a truly opposable thumb, something even certain opossums enjoy on their hind feet.

Amos, I think you were far too kind in the truths you wrote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 04:42 PM

Some chimps are more evolved than others. Chinga for example. She runs a real business, and took care of their mother for years until she expired of white-hunter's disirdfer. Her brother Chongo is a scrofulous gibbet-monger, a blockhead with no sense of individual responsibility, a poltroon, and an organic wastebasket.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 02:32 PM

Yeah, Chonga, I guess Renata read it to you. I know YOU can't read because chimps ain't that evolved. If you think you are, how about a discussion on Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Cien Aos de Solidad" or Joyce's "Ulysses" or Shakespeare's "Henry V" -- or perhaps you can suggest a book written BY a chimp? Hahahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 01:11 PM

You wanta read (or reread) a really good book? Check out the one Amos wrote: Beyond the Cascade. Renata picked it up first and she loved it, so she kept buggin' me till I read it too. I was surprised how good it was. Really surprised. Given how good the guy writes, I can't fathom that he don't want to vote for me and that he hangs around with that nutbar Chinga, but that's just how it is. Some things are beyond explainin'...like the wallpaper at Duffy's Bar...but I digress.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 03:19 AM

Back there a ways, someone mentioned Woody Allen. I read a quote of his the other day that still makes me laugh: "Eternity is a long, long time- especially toward the end."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 PM

Weather report -- but not here!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM

It is time for everyone to take a time out and read a good book.

I'm rereading The Hobbit before I reread The Lord of the Rings. That'll keep me entertained and out of trouble for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 05:28 PM

Shrooms would be my guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM

Pete, you are livin' proof that evolution can lead to a complete dead end in certain cases. I sure hope you ain't had any children!

So, gnu, yer bored, huh? Well....try callin' 911 and act like you are yer own neighbor, see? And say, "That lunatic next door to me has been firin' off guns randomly from his house. He shot my dog and then shot the letter carrier. He says he wants to kill all the cops in this county. He has himself barricaded in there and we are all afraid to even go outside. Now he's firin' off mortar rounds! Send help fast!" Then give 'em the address to yer place and wait for the fun to begin. You will not be bored for long.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM

Soooo... how do we "do" 50k? Has someone been designated to do it? Do we all stop posting and let them do it? Do we... excluding me... decide what is to be said so that it don't matter who posts 50k?

Yes, I am fuckin bored. Can't go outside and play with the other kids. Their mothers are keeping them inside on accounta hypothermia is a bitch*. A nasty, COLD bitch! And Monday? +10C and rain??? Gotta make sure the power packs and the genie are ready. This local warming is trouble with a capital 'F'! and that ryhmes with fer fuck sake would you knock that shit off already!? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

* Alternate 'prick' at willie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:48 AM

I see the Cookie Monster got me a few posts back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:35 AM

Yer sister's a nutcase? Runs in the family then...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 AM

Why should I cozy up to this Chinga nutcase who claims she is my sister? She ain't done nothin' but try to smear my name and she don't have nothin' I need or want. She is either crazy...or she's bein' well paid by my political opponents to spread false stories and damage my rep. I don't care what she says.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 05:14 AM

He's not a Canuck... he was born in Calgary. Doesn't count.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 10:38 PM

Amos, chimps will eat other chimps, especially their own young. This will probably be part of Chonga's Policy Platform in 2016: "Do As Chimps Do -- My Solution To Overpopulation In The US".

Did you know that Cruz (the Texian chap) is a Canadian citizen? He said he was going to renounce his Canadian citizenship but he hasn't done anything about it yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM

Rosy cheeks and ruby lips--that's your sistah, CHongo. That's Chinga to a T, assuming you give her time to get her face on right. I'm telling ya, I've seen the brochure for that Milwaukee penthouse suite.. You could do a lot worse. She could use you for bouncing and strong-arming, like, and your family would be made whole. Take my advise, and write her a letter smoothing things over. If a chimp can't eat crow, what kind of a man is he, after all?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM

Oh rosy cheeks and ruby lips.
I own she has my heart enthralled.
So fill to me the parting glass.
Good night and joy be with you all.

Baby!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM

Watchin' any movie with Adam Sandler in it is a painful process...sorta like havin' a tooth pulled slowwwwly with a vice grip or bein' sucked down a storm drain by a giant leech. I know apes and monkeys who love his movies, but you can't account for tastes, can you? I won't watch one unless I get paid first, and well paid. And then I watch it with earplugs in and a sleep mask over my eyes.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM

Apparently, SRS, a lot would as they have paid many $Ms of dollars to see his movies. I haven't seen any but, then again, I am tres swave in my humour tastes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM

Adam Sandler - yuck. A lot of people wouldn't lift a finger for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM

I know ya missed me. I could feel yer pain, what with me not bein' around here for awhile, so I took pity on you bozos and I came back. Now you got another chance to sup at the flowin' spring of my wisdom and wit. You are some lucky buncha humans. I would not do this for just anyone. I would not, f'rinstance...do it for Woody Allen. Or Adam Sandler.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM

Heh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM

I hafta admit we missed you Chongz.

But we used silencers so you probably didn't hear the shots...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM

Their brains were small, and they died. Evolution in a nutshell.

Chongo, why don't you work out a deal with Chinga and restore amicable relations for the New Year, huh? If you succeeded (iffen you can keep your trap shut that long) she might let you use the penthouse suit at her high-end Milwaukee establishment, when you need to lie low for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM

Baboons, chimps, monkeys, orangutangs, lemurs, gorillas, bonos -- all the same. They all failed to evolve into Homo Sapiens Sapiens and Nature has only one answer when you flunk evolution, Chonga.

Yeah -- extinction. An evolutionary dead end is dead. End. Sorry, old (fe)male. You're on the same path as the archaeocyathids -- useful for a while and then PFFT! gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM

Hmm. Not bad, Rap. Pretty good music. At least Merv Griffin knew the difference between a monkey, a Chimp, and a Baboon. He was not a total ignoramus, like some folks I could mention. I never heard of a 3-way marriage like that, though. Not in Chicago, anyways. Maybe in Southern California...

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM

Hey, I found Chonga's campaign song!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM

Think yer smart, don'tcha, Pete? Like most humans...

It is colder than a well digger's ass here. Considerably colder. A good excuse for stayin' in and having some hot rum toddies.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM

I know you all won't be impressed, but this December was the 12th coldest on record for North Texas, since they started keeping records about 125 years ago. As a consequence, the dogs spent a lot of nights in the house and most of those nights one dog slept on my bed. I've always wondered if my tolerance for having someone else in the bed might be reduced after many years on my own, but that particular dog snores fairly regularly and I sleep through it. This is what this year's cold weather has taught me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM

Sorry I missed you at Thanksgiving, Chonga, but I've been practicing and practicing so maybe better luck next time, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM

So, Chongz, last year was pretty damn good and you expect next year will be even better? What about THIS year??

Welcome back, even if'n you are as dumb as ever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM

Boy, that was one killer of a New Year's celebration. Took me all yesterday to recover. Renata is proud of me for not firin' off the tommygun at midnight like I usually do, and for keepin' the drinkin' down to a reasonable level...meanin' no pink elephants this time. So, last year was pretty damn good, and I expect next year will be even better. Ook! Ook! I got big plans for my unstoppable race to the White House once Obamba stumbles off into retirement. Just 2 more years till the White House becomes the Chimp House. I can't wait to see what kinda ludicrous bozo the Repubs pick to run against me in 2016. I am bettin' the Democrats will run my old pal Hillary next time, but I don't think she can beat me, no sir. Yessiree, things are lookin' brighter every day. And I see that we're gettin' nearer to the 50k too.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM

I ain't complainin... my nipples are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM

I meant to wish everyone a "Anos muy felicidad" but I forgot until now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM

Wimp! It's -5C here with a wind chill of -5! Groan and moan and complain...just can't take it, can ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM

-29C, -39WC. Nipply!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM

Christmas tree etc packed away yesterday so my guitar is back in its usual place in the living room, not stuck uo the corner behind the tree.

GO and squid offspring? Slippery customers no doubt...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM

The GO and Squiddy! My, think of the offspring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM

Another reason why living in Canada can be hazardous to your health.

I've taken down lights and am putting a fair number of them into a bag to take over to the recycle swap area. I'm getting into LED bulbs next year, I'm tired of having to work my way down the string to find the one that is burned out or missing.

Nice to see the Galactic Overlord has made a friend. They can live on green jello forever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM

Well, almost all the Kissmeass decorations are boxed and half of the boxes are in the basement. I saved the meese for last... three plush toy meese carolling, demanding actually, that I bring them sitcky pudding. Their atlers move from side to side when they sing their parts. Now, iffin ya know anything about meese, ya know that when a bull "rocks antlers" and stares atchya, yer in deep shit if yer on open ground and ya gotta be reeeal careful about how ya calm him down. If clapping and talking don't work, ya turn sideways ta him and walk slow while ya keep looking back at him. If he runs at ya, ya throw yer roasry at him, shit yerself and zig-zag RUN!!! hoping the smell will put him off.

With the carolling meese, it's different. Ya just take out the batteries.


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