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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 07 Apr 13 - 02:08 PM
Acme 07 Apr 13 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 07 Apr 13 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 06 Apr 13 - 11:55 PM
Little Hawk 06 Apr 13 - 06:48 PM
Acme 06 Apr 13 - 06:22 PM
gnu 06 Apr 13 - 04:29 PM
Rapparee 06 Apr 13 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 06 Apr 13 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 06 Apr 13 - 09:17 AM
gnu 06 Apr 13 - 07:39 AM
Acme 06 Apr 13 - 01:04 AM
Little Hawk 06 Apr 13 - 12:25 AM
gnu 05 Apr 13 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 13 - 09:38 PM
gnu 05 Apr 13 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 13 - 07:11 PM
Little Hawk 05 Apr 13 - 03:51 PM
Amos 05 Apr 13 - 12:24 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 13 - 11:14 PM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 09:00 PM
Little Hawk 04 Apr 13 - 02:18 PM
Acme 04 Apr 13 - 01:23 PM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 12:53 PM
GUEST,Still Sober In Blind River 04 Apr 13 - 12:10 PM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 11:11 AM
Little Hawk 04 Apr 13 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 13 - 10:02 AM
Little Hawk 04 Apr 13 - 01:23 AM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 12:20 AM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 12:19 AM
Amos 04 Apr 13 - 12:15 AM
Amos 03 Apr 13 - 07:42 PM
Acme 03 Apr 13 - 06:55 PM
Amos 03 Apr 13 - 06:37 PM
gnu 03 Apr 13 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 13 - 10:00 AM
Amos 03 Apr 13 - 01:56 AM
Rapparee 02 Apr 13 - 11:25 PM
Acme 02 Apr 13 - 10:55 PM
Acme 02 Apr 13 - 02:40 PM
Rapparee 02 Apr 13 - 08:47 AM
Acme 02 Apr 13 - 01:32 AM
Amos 02 Apr 13 - 12:59 AM
Amos 02 Apr 13 - 12:56 AM
Amos 02 Apr 13 - 12:33 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 01 Apr 13 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 13 - 10:59 PM
Acme 01 Apr 13 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 13 - 09:54 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 13 - 02:08 PM

Yup. The new CD is called "Born at the Right Time" and is copyrighted 2012. It includes "Barrett's Privateers", A Much Better View Of The Moon," "That Song About the River,: and "Blackleg Miner" among others.

Hah! It's not all oldies but goodies anymore!

(The website is very hard to find. You have to go to www.kingstontrio.com.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 13 - 12:54 AM

Do they do any new material?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 13 - 12:01 AM

I just got home from a concert by The Kingston Trio. Yes, the group is still around. Two of the original three are dead, but Bob Shane is cutting a solo album.

Wonderful concert. Go if you get the chance. These guys do justice to the music.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 11:55 PM

I remember where I ate in Montreal. Why can't you? Geez, I even remember where I ate in Quebec, both the city and the province. Also in NB and NS, AB, BC, NWT and YT.

Too many drugs and too much handwork, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 06:48 PM

If I can remember where I ate in Toronto, you should be able to remember where you ate in Montreal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 06:22 PM

That would be a typo, gnu. I'll go fix it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 04:29 PM

You expect me to remember where I ate when in Montreal when I was young and foolish? I never went there to eat. Eating was required but remembering where certainly was/is not. All I can say fer sure is, I didn't eat at any haughty cweezine places like you frequent. I recall I had the World Famous Montreal Smoked Meat scoff at the World Famous Montreal Smoked Meat place but as for recalling the name? It was about 2AM and... you do the math.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 03:11 PM

No, not really. It's not a suggestion at all. More of a description of what his part in the battles for Montreal and Quebec City would have been like.

I understand that he's multilingual, being able to say "I surrender! Don't hurt me!" in eight or nine different languages. For example, he can say "Ja izručenje! Ne nanositi povredu mene!" in Croatian, and "Énmegadás! Nem megsért én!" in Hungarian, and "麿 投降! 勿れ 傷 マイクロエレクトロニクス!" in Japanese, and "Ich übergeben! Ausführen nicht antasten mich!" in German and even muddles through "Hymrodda! Gwna mo anafa 'm!" in case the Welsh attack Blind River.

But in the long run he would have been banned from any fighting force because of the international ban on chemical warfare -- not to mention that his lack of hygienic habits would have gotten him tossed out by those who might have been his comrades in arms...or endure what is called these days a "GI shower."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 01:08 PM

You're suggesting that the Boy from Blind River is a...coward????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 09:17 AM

No, the American forces would have found Shame quivering in a corner, sitting in his own excreta and filling his mouth with stolen brandy and moldy beignets.

Yes, I have been to Moooooooontreaaaaaaaaaaal. More than a few times. You ever eaten at "Les Filles du Roi" or "Club 737"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 07:39 AM

I knew that. BTW, I was gonna ask about the Acer with the 5.6" HD Widescreen CineCrystal? LED-backlit Display. Seems a tad small ta this little black duck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 01:04 AM

It's getting close to time to be able to buy a computer for our friend Art. While you guys are out fighting old battles I've been slaving over a hot keyboard comparing devices and prices. Just so you know. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Apr 13 - 12:25 AM

If Shane had manned the battlements, he could have driven back the attacking Yankees merely by lifting his arms and exposing his hairy armpits to the open air. They'd have run all the way back to New York.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 10:24 PM

"... Carleton abandoned Montreal, fleeing to Quebec City, and Montgomery took control of the city before heading for Quebec with an army much reduced in size by expiring enlistments."

And you call that "captuing" Montreal? My dear sir, with all due respect, it is obvious that Carleton's ruse worked well as evidenced within the above excert! To whit, "... much reduced in size by expiring enlistments." No doubt the reduction was caused by the fact that the lads partied on St. Catherine's Street and fell victim to a diabolical and clever ploy on Carleton's part.

If you have never spent a drunken night on St Catherine's Street in MonnnréAAALLLL, you have never gone Code Oooooo LA LAAAA! Carleton employed his resources well and none so well as Les Femmes de le Nuit a Montréal.

BTW, I'd like to give a special shout out to Miss Chrystal Chandaleir. Nevermind. That's ancient history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 09:38 PM

You mean that I know more Canadian history than you do?

The Invasion of Canada in 1775 was the first major military initiative by the newly formed Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. The objective of the campaign was to gain military control of the British Province of Quebec, and convince the French-speaking Canadiens to join the revolution on the side of the Thirteen Colonies. One expedition left Fort Ticonderoga under Richard Montgomery, besieged and captured Fort St. Johns, and very nearly captured British General Guy Carleton when taking Montreal. The other expedition left Cambridge, Massachusetts under Benedict Arnold, and traveled with great difficulty through the wilderness of Maine to Quebec City. The two forces joined there, but were defeated at the Battle of Quebec in December 1775.

Montgomery's expedition set out from Fort Ticonderoga in late August, and began besieging Fort St. Johns, the main defensive point south of Montreal, in mid-September. After the fort was captured in November, Carleton abandoned Montreal, fleeing to Quebec City, and Montgomery took control of the city before heading for Quebec with an army much reduced in size by expiring enlistments. There he joined Arnold, who had left Cambridge in early September on an arduous trek through the wilderness that left his surviving troops starving and lacking in many supplies and equipment.

These forces joined before Quebec City in December, where they assaulted the city in a snowstorm on the last day of the year. The battle was a disastrous defeat for the Americans; Montgomery was killed and Arnold wounded, and the city's defenders suffered few casualties. Arnold then conducted an ineffectual siege on the city, during which Loyalist sentiments were boosted by successful propaganda campaigns, and General David Wooster's blunt administration of Montreal served to annoy both supporters and detractors of the Americans.

The British sent several thousand troops, including General John Burgoyne and Hessian mercenaries, to reinforce those in the province in May 1776. General Carleton then launched a counter-offensive, ultimately driving the smallpox-weakened and disorganized American forces back to Fort Ticonderoga. The Americans, under Arnold's command, were able to hinder the British advance sufficiently that an attack could not be mounted on Fort Ticonderoga in 1776. The end of the campaign set the stage for Burgoyne's campaign of 1777 to gain control of the Hudson River valley.

                                           --Wikipedia

Of course, Burgoyne's campaign of 1777 ended at the Battle of Saratoga with his defeat by Arnold and the Colonial forces.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 08:03 PM

"there was that time during our Revolutionary War when we captured Montreal"

I don't recall that being taught to me in history classes.

I do know that YOUR White House fine china serving dishes are used when YOUR Queen visits Ottawa. I believe your fine serving dishes from you White House were sacked and your White House burned by the likes of Shane even before Brock gave you Yanks "The First Finger".

I have stood under Brock's statue and gazed in the direction that he gave the finger to. I thought... why in fuck would them Yanks think for one minute they could come up here that way?... Jaysus H! And, of course, subsequetly thought... thank goodness! Although, lately, I must admit.... watermelons in April??? Fresh green beans? Fuck Brock tha bastard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 07:11 PM

That's not my Best Blasphemy. Another is, but I shan't post it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 03:51 PM

There were lots of ancient societies who were big on blasphemy long before the Catholics even existed, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 12:24 AM

Well, it's only right. The Catholics practically invented blasphemy. For some damn reason or other.

Anyway, Mom, I am off in the dawn to Arizona with Maggie and BBW in train. There is a particularly lively lass we are going to see who is celebrating her birthday. Born ninety years ago today, she still has more piss and vinegar in her than many twenty-somethings and the know-how to apply it, too. It's been over sixty years since she gave birth to my wife (who was once an infant, can you believe it?) and she ASTILL loves her to pieces. So we sare taking Maggie Dogg (aka Rocket Dog, aka Mudflanks McFuzzbutt) out to apprentice under her for a day on the secrets of long survival.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 11:14 PM

Or as we said in (Catholic) college, "Senor? I am Jesus. You want my mother? She virgin."

Yes, yes, I know. Blasphemy goes around a lot in Catholic colleges...and high schools...and grade schools...and graduate schools...and seminaries....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 09:00 PM

They nod sleepily. Occasionally the Yanqui douaniers ask me why I was in Mexico, an easy question to answer. One time one particularly annoyed HomeSec dude challenged my statement that I had been getting work on my teeth by asking which teeth, but when I showed him he flinched and said I didn't need to show him! LOL The walker's shuffle is entertaining, if you are so inclined--there are singers every fifty yards, some not half bad, fiddle players, karoake singers with taped background music, children selling chiclets, and ladies in nurse costumes running a charity scam of some kind. There are guys grinding out churros from home-made dough and cooking them, and others selling various delights such as slices of mango. I tend not to buy food when I am there, so as not to disturb my digestion during the long slow shuffle to Gringolandia. I also really enjoy walking across Tijuana watching the hustle and enterprise and bustle, the flirting and posing, the mariachi costumes and the many ingenious artisan stands selling hats, bandoliers, teeshirts, ukeleles, boots, and ceramic statues of Tweety Bird.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 02:18 PM

"J-ou wahnt to meet my seester?"

(Sorry! Just couldn't resist. Oh, I am muy terible!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 01:23 PM

When you get across the border to the Mexican officials ask you anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 12:53 PM

To give some hope to fantasy may be a cruel joke of Fate, but I cannot resist contributing this small piece of scientific insight into the metacognition of Chongo's kind. Not Chongo himself, of course, but his general sort.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Still Sober In Blind River
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 12:10 PM

I see that I am being confused with that wastrel Shane McBride. I see little point in giving my real name, but rest assured that I am not now and never was Shane McBride. I will say that I am his half-brother but I will admit to no other connection with him.

Yes, I was born a bastard. Yes, I was given up to an orphanage. It has not prevented me from a successful career or stood in my way in the slightest.

I hope that this clarifies matters for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 11:11 AM

Because checking a US Citizen into the country is lower risk, faster processing, and therefore they could speed things up for their own citizenry returning to their own country. They have such a line at Kennedy for incoming international arrivals, or used to. Besides, as a nation shouldn't they be proud of their own citizens and want to help them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 10:25 AM

LOL!!!

Look, just stay on your side of the blasted borderline and there won't be trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 10:02 AM

Because we're Americans!!! Jeez, I'd think you'd realize that! Look at how many times we've pulled Canada's fat out of the fire: there was that time during our Revolutionary War when we captured Montreal, there was that time during the War of 1812, there was that business right after our Civil War, and the list goes on and on. Sure, each time you were reconquered by the British, but for a brief period we gave you a taste of Freedom, Truth, Justice, and the American Way! And how are we paid back? By Albertan military forces massed on the border between Idaho and Canada, ready to attack if a kid pops a bubble gum bubble, that's how! Canadian beavers, laden with implanted electronics, long ago infiltrated our forests and wetlands, sending Top Secret Burn Before Reading data back to their Canadian handlers. Molson and Moosehead and Labatts smuggled in to undermine our beer industry and therefore the morale of our troops.

Oh, how bitter is the tooth of an ungrateful child!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 01:23 AM

Why should they have a separate line for US citizens?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 12:20 AM

That Forty-Seven, Six!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 12:19 AM

But still we like to think we'll find...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 12:15 AM

We're used up all our clever lines
And burned out all our tricks...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 07:42 PM

I'd thought I was done until a company picnic served super-frozen icecream cones and a perfectly good false tooth--a bridge anchored in a natural root with a post--gave way under pressure. So now I have to have it replaced with an implant which will be more bulletproof, so to speak. I tried one of those coyote buses once, promised to take you right over the border in comfort for $5 a head. They got stuck in the border traffic like everyone else, and I eventually bailed out and crossed on foot.

The thing that chaps me is that they don't have a separate line for US Citizens. It doesn't matter what kind of id you have, unless you qualify for and buy a SENTRI card--they get a separate faster line, but it is only worth it if you cross frequently.   

There was once a certain feeling of freedom about being able to traipse into Mexico and come back again, but the channels have become so unwieldy and constrained it seems more like a mild prison sentence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 06:55 PM

How many more trips do you anticipate, Amos? Perhaps you could speed the process by hiring a coyote to go the other way . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 06:37 PM

I am bushed. I went down to Mexico this morning for dental work and found the Feds had redesigned the whole port, adding twenty minutes to the pedestrian traffic into Mexico. The line back out to the US was bottlenecked and backed up for two solid hours of shuffling toward home. I may have to shift to a US dentist even for surgeries. I am getting to old for this. But I am back now, had some lunch and took the puppy for a gallop so lkife is back in balance. Thanks for asking, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 05:11 PM

SRS... ain't that vid a hoot! I clicked it out of curiousity and was, at first, inclined to discard it but then could not turn away. I give that lad an E for efort and an A++++ for entertaining people and not just for the "Hahaha... watch the fat man dance." aspect. It's for the fact that he does such a great job! It's downright inspiring.

Good on him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 10:00 AM

It was only going to have a yield of about .8 KT. Shucks, that's not very much. That's only equivalent to about 800 tons of TNT. That's a firecracker, something you set off on the 4th of July. Sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 13 - 01:56 AM

Yeah but she's lived longer nor you; better a live old poop than a dead young rapscallion, I allus say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 11:25 PM

Don't go poking around in stuff Mom confiscated. She took away my Atom Bomb Science Fair Project, and I have the U235 and everything. Sometimes she's an old poop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 10:55 PM

All I can say is Classic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 02:40 PM

"Cleaning accident."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 08:47 AM

Told ya and told ya not to pull the pin on them things. Now your office is filled with tear gas and red smoke. The red smoke is to tell the black helicopters were to land. You might consider opening a window, going outside and take with you the thing labeled "Thermite." Pull the pin on that and toss it through the open window. That'll burn your house down and get rid of the red smoke and the tear gas and the black helicopters won't land.

I don't quite know what you'll have to tell your insurance company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 01:32 AM

I gotta clean up my office. Spring cleaning. Toss out the empties, blow the dust off the blinds (in case I decide to open the window). Toss out the box of contraband that MOM took away from you boys over the years (sharp stuff, sticky stuff, things that make loud noise.)

Oh, look. . . . .!

Poof! BANG! THUD!

cough cough


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 12:59 AM

I repeat: Plebeian, pedestrian, jejeune, callow, dull, uninspired, cattarhythmic, microcephalic meanderings about a fat Canadian are below the high-set finely tuned quality standards of excellence here, I believe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 12:56 AM

"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man
up to his level of sagacity, but man has frequently
dragged the dog down to his."

          James Thurber
"If you pick up a starving Dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man..."


Mark Twain

"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

          Will Rogers, 1897-1935


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 12:33 AM

Or how to sue one if you aren't happy with how it turned out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Apr 13 - 11:20 PM

Where to find a good adoption agency?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 13 - 10:59 PM

Me. Her favorite kid. What else would there be for her to talk about?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Apr 13 - 10:54 PM

I wonder what MOM would talk about if she was writing a blog?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 13 - 09:54 PM

"Dingus" was the favorite swear word of Jesse Woodson James. It was also his nickname.


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