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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 01 Oct 12 - 03:52 PM
Acme 01 Oct 12 - 03:19 PM
Acme 01 Oct 12 - 12:55 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Sep 12 - 10:21 PM
gnu 30 Sep 12 - 08:16 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Sep 12 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM
Acme 30 Sep 12 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 29 Sep 12 - 11:46 PM
gnu 29 Sep 12 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 29 Sep 12 - 01:18 PM
Acme 29 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM
Acme 29 Sep 12 - 01:18 AM
gnu 28 Sep 12 - 03:36 PM
Acme 28 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 12 - 09:45 AM
Acme 28 Sep 12 - 12:33 AM
Rapparee 27 Sep 12 - 09:25 PM
gnu 27 Sep 12 - 06:57 PM
Acme 27 Sep 12 - 05:39 PM
gnu 27 Sep 12 - 02:51 PM
Acme 27 Sep 12 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 12 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 12 - 07:40 AM
Acme 27 Sep 12 - 12:31 AM
Rapparee 26 Sep 12 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 12 - 03:03 PM
GUEST 26 Sep 12 - 12:34 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 12 - 11:04 AM
Acme 26 Sep 12 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 26 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,Balladette 26 Sep 12 - 09:31 AM
GUEST,Frank Guerrero 26 Sep 12 - 09:19 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 12 - 12:23 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 12:08 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 12 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM
GUEST 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM
Acme 25 Sep 12 - 01:03 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:51 PM
Acme 24 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 24 Sep 12 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM
GUEST,Amos 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 12 - 03:52 PM

Perhaps they have been arrested for creating a public nuisance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 12 - 03:19 PM

I wonder when the wandering boys will return to their various computers? Surely the Maryland countryside has detected their presence and told them to take their BS back home?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 12 - 12:55 AM

You dodn't need to tell my fridge to FREEZE! It used to do it regularly on the top shelf. Then the Sears repair guy said that was happening because the fridge was insane - with a bonkers computer the freezer was too cold and pulling moist air in past the frozen gasket and made tons of ice on the back of the freezer. Looked like a frozen Niagra back there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Sep 12 - 10:21 PM

Fridges gotta be dealt with sternly and swiftly, gnu, and you gotta take 'em by surprise. The best way is, turn off all the lights in the house. Stay quiet for at least a half hour. The fridge will think you gone to sleep or gone out, and it will drop its guard. Then sneak quietly into the kitchen with a loaded gun. Creep over silently in the darkness...so far so good...then FLING open the fridge door and yell "FREEZE!!!" The chances are very good that you will catch that fridge red-handed with its inside light ON and burnin' bright!

Cuff the bastard by its door handle and call for backup right away. They can be fierce when they're cornered.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Sep 12 - 08:16 PM

I have been monitoring the light in the fridge every hour. It's on all the time. So I took the bulb out and I have a call in to have the fridge serviced. Thanks for alerting me as I want to do my part against global swarming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Sep 12 - 12:09 PM

Sounds like he is goin' "bush" to me, Rap. I wonder how that happened? Musta be a side effect of them clandestine trips he's been makin' to Mexico to see you-know-who.

I would go down there and give him some instructions on proper and decent social behavior if I thought it would do any good, but I figger he's probably beyond help at this point, and my time is valuable. No use wastin' it on a fool's errand.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM

Amos is in the Nature Center as an exhibit of a guitar player. He mostly scratches his private parts in public and goes "ook. Ook!"a lot. People pity him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 12 - 10:56 AM

Is the light on in your fridge? Quick, take a look.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Sep 12 - 11:46 PM

How about your porch light?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 12 - 01:53 PM

My furnace is on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Sep 12 - 01:18 PM

I got a phone call yesterday from Amos, but he got the answering service here. So he left a brief message...said "Chongo is a pissant", and a couple of other things. I knew it was Amos right away...recognized his voice.

So I used the routine that tells you the last number that called you and called it back. But I got Rapparee on the line instead of Amos, cos Amos had gone out. We had an enjoyable chat for a few minutes. Sounds like they are having a lovely time there in Maryland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM

News blackout now from the Getaway as the boys stay up late and consume spirits and sing lots of songs. I bet they'll be talking and laughing their fool heads off also.



Next year. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 12 - 01:18 AM

So are you saying the parts can come from China and be put together in Ohio? I suppose that is possible. Seems a long way to haul stuff to assemble it, but it puts the ribbon on the pig to have at least part of it still happen in the US.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 03:36 PM

ASSEMBLED in Ohio.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM

That "L" message was cut off. Perhaps it was meant to be

Love to all, Rap


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 09:45 AM

I'm going to curl up and hold my breath until I turn blue and then you will all be sorry you were all so mean to me when I was alive so there! L


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 12:33 AM

But you're NOT gone - you won't stay away.

Well that is good news if they are really made in Ohio. A friend who used to do a lot of catering said they come from China. I'll have to ask him about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 09:25 PM

So sad! Amos and I gone and the BS degenerates to talk of kitchen appliances!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 06:57 PM

"Assembled with Pride in Greenville, Ohio." But I know what you mean.

"and I've always thought that one of the most attractive features was that they clean easily." That's a good thing because I am a man.

Matter of fact, if I ever win the lottery, I will have a stainlsess steel kitchen... appliances, walls, ceiling and floor... so I can hose it down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 05:39 PM

The new ones are made in China, not the US, so they don't last as long, but they're still pretty sturdy, and I've always thought that one of the most attractive features was that they clean easily. You'll find that each attachment (and there are many) runs $50 to $100, so choose carefully if you're given any options. They usually come with the dough hook, the whisk, and the general-duty beater, but I've also purchased a grinder attachment. I grind all of my own roast beef now, never buy hamburger, and it's also good for grinding veggies, etc.

There may be a couple of sizes, the larger ones are going to run the attachments better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 02:51 PM

Big sale on KitchenAid stand mixers at Chinese Tire starting tomorrow. I have always wanted a good stand mixer and now that my arthritis NEEDS one, I shall enjoy aquiring one. Also, I note the mixing blade is a modern design which appears to be much easier to clean... not as much fun to lick as the old style beaters but ya can't have everything. And, the new style appears easier on errant utensils and fingers.

Oh! "everything"... I must check last night's lotto ticket. Maybe I can get the expensive mixer and an attachment kit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 01:06 PM

Escalator wasn't running. It seems Gluon had been hanging around up there and shed some hair and feathers, jamming up the gears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 01:01 PM

Hi. Mom! I'm at the salt. Lake city airport!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 07:40 AM

True. And the escalator WAS working. And that was all blank ammo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 12:31 AM

Heck with rounds and ammo and gun stuff. It was a long slow steep climb so I used the rest step. One foot after the other. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 06:38 PM

Amos, I could have taken that hill alone but I prepared the way for SRS instead. I put enough rounds into the impact area and beaten zone to keep their heads down while she assaulted the peak.

YOU were off at an Orgy with Bobert, Dani, and Janie!

And what LH said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 03:03 PM

Log in, you skulking urchin! ;-)

Well, boy, that was a close one. They put a shell right past the turret as the driver wrenched us hard to the left, and the shockwave stripped off all our extra gear and put the radio out of commission. Must've been at least a 75...maybe an 88. The commander also lost his pipe, his beret, and his field glasses. Just another lovely day on point here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 12:34 PM

I hope Stilly is duly mindful of those who suffered, posted, bled and squawked that she might rise to this culminating moment, this crescendo of virtue and merit. I knew she could do it, but, let us not forget, she stood on the shoulders of giants, and Rapparee almost threw her off.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 11:04 AM

The arrival of a mighty crossing such as 46,000 is rather like the moment when one has ascended a long escarpment up a winding and arduous road and finally one reaches the summit. There is a brief, heartfelt pause, replete with a sense of awe and expectation. Then that final push over the crest of the hill...and the vast, eagle-like view of all that lies beyond it!

My father said it was the most dangerous moment when driving a scout tank, which was his job in the Second World War. It was the time when you were most likely to get sh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 10:26 AM

46,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM

Tomorrow long before Dawn's rosy fingers touch the skies above the mighty Bannock and Wasatch Mountains, before the small birds awaken and make melody, before God Herself awakes, Rapparee shall be in a coach racing to the Salt Lake City Aerodrome. He has packed his black tie, his speedos, and all that is needed for a getaway to Getaway.

Mom, if I post not here until next Monday, remember that I forget you not nor any of the sibs. Amos and I shall raise a glass or six of water (it's a Methodist camp, after all) to you all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Balladette
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:31 AM

As the hours creep toward the bewitching chime
That marks the beginning of the Getaway
The skies above Idaho darken with the burden
Of carrying Rapparee east.
He flies, he lugs, he limps and moans
Complains the coffee is too thin
And demands extra allowances from all.
And they are freely granted, for
No-one wants to impede
The Majestic Advancer
As the force of Rapparreee
Descends upon the sleepy hinterlands of
Far Chesapeake.


Merriwether Goldfeinmiitbaum
Ghetto Rhythms from the West
Queens, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Frank Guerrero
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:19 AM

Shaddup evvyone who say shaddup!! Jeeze, you-all sound like a cathouse at midnight with da heat coming through the front door. 'Samaddah you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 12:23 AM

No way, man! I was out all day. You assume too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:26 PM

See? I am obeyed, man, OBEYED!!! Ich bein Der Mann!! Jawohl!!!

You can talk now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:36 PM

You shut up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM

Shut up, Paco!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:08 PM

We don' wan' no steenkin' cheemps at Getaway! They gots fleas an' fling poop an' steenk! They are feelthy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:06 PM

I wish Chongo could've made it down there to join you, folks, but he's working on a very important case right now....

(wait for it...)




































A case of imported whisky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:18 AM

Shindigs? You want I should kick you so hard I dig into your shins? No, I'm peaceful and modest and shy and retiring and quiet and wouldn't hurt a flea, much less a fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM

Ah'm gonna see Amos this Friday, God willin' and the crick don't rise. Anybody want me ta take him any messages? Mebbe things of encouragement, like "Keep on a-pickin', yer nose is too long anyway" er mebbe "The old man has pretty much forgot 'bout what you did to my sister, mostly" er "Don't worry cuz the fire didn't do all that much hurt ta yer house."

Jist let me know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM

Y'all need tolook up sensayewma. But, I been busy 'round here, picking up tunes and such, and Boberty hisself is coming down hyar this noontime to visit, and then a whole bunch of us are going over to Janies for supper, I am tole. And although I did get tahred from staying up late, I ain't heard no discussion about feathering. So I am marking all these snarky remarks up to pure-dee jalousy.


Thursday we head out to ebullient Mary's Lande. There we shall see some shindigs!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 01:03 AM

Settin' up late by the far, so the smoke can keep the bugs away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:51 PM

Ah figgered that iffen he was up late he'd be plenty tarred.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM

Tarheels will know how to deal with Amos if he swans too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 02:12 PM

Word must have gotten out about his effete use of French words and phrases such as "mon petit bluette"...his ruffled collars and lace sleeves...his silk underwear...his preference for escargots and nutmeg latte'. North Carolinians can't tolerate that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM

Tarred and feathered in North Carolina. Poor, poor Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM

HOWDY, Ma!

I yam enjoying the sweert cool morning air in beautiful Hillsboro, North Carolina, where they just about invented the fiddle and the bango. It is puredee beautiufl, and the food is world class, and the birds are singing in the ancient oaks. These are the lands where the Revolution was born, by a gang of two thousand farmers, before Lexington was even a spark in Paul Revere's eye. Mighty fine country, indeed. We had a jam last night that ran on until midnight with Abby Sales and a rich coterie of local suspects. Ya woulda been proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM

What last post?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM

Just ignore that last post of mine.


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