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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 25 Apr 12 - 07:24 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 12 - 09:23 AM
Amos 24 Apr 12 - 08:02 PM
gnu 24 Apr 12 - 06:14 PM
Acme 24 Apr 12 - 05:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Apr 12 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 24 Apr 12 - 04:57 PM
Amos 24 Apr 12 - 01:52 PM
Acme 24 Apr 12 - 12:45 PM
Amos 24 Apr 12 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 24 Apr 12 - 10:41 AM
Amos 24 Apr 12 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 23 Apr 12 - 08:38 PM
Amos 23 Apr 12 - 06:38 PM
Acme 23 Apr 12 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 12 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 12 - 03:38 PM
Little Hawk 23 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM
gnu 23 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM
Amos 23 Apr 12 - 01:08 PM
Amos 23 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 12 - 11:17 AM
Amos 23 Apr 12 - 09:33 AM
Acme 22 Apr 12 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 12 - 09:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 12 - 08:50 PM
Amos 22 Apr 12 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM
gnu 22 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 12 - 04:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 12 - 02:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 12 - 02:42 PM
Little Hawk 22 Apr 12 - 12:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 12 - 12:15 PM
Acme 22 Apr 12 - 12:24 AM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 12 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 12 - 10:51 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 12 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 12 - 10:13 PM
Acme 21 Apr 12 - 09:53 PM
Amos 21 Apr 12 - 08:16 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 12 - 03:48 PM
gnu 21 Apr 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 21 Apr 12 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 12 - 09:50 AM
gnu 21 Apr 12 - 07:11 AM
Acme 21 Apr 12 - 12:44 AM
gnu 20 Apr 12 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 12 - 09:48 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 12 - 08:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 12 - 07:24 PM

WHO is responsible for allowing Dear Mother to slide all the way to sixth from the bottom today? I had appointments to keep and when I check just now Poor Old Mom is cavorting au naturel with low-lifes such as the thread wishing Max a happy birthday!! I had thought that others would have jumped in to help, but nooooooooooo!!! She could have wandered away, perhaps even ended up at the Legion Hovel -- and you'll remember what a disaster it was the LAST time she visited there!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 12 - 09:23 AM

You still don't understand, Amos. Read the book. It delineates what might be our last hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 08:02 PM

For Rapp and, wisely, Eiseley:

On Librarians vs. Google.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 06:14 PM

BWL... I am SO glad I got out of bed this morning. Otherwise, I might never have learned that.

To return the favour, my postal code is E1C 4L4. No need to thank me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 05:52 PM

Good to hear from you today, BWL. Throwing any more pots lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 05:40 PM

Barring having someone else post before I hit the "Submit" button, this is post #44610. Just by coincidence, that is also the Zip Code for Berlin, Ohio, a small town in rural Holmes County, known primarily as a center of Amish culture.

It is about 20 miles from Bolivar, which locals pronounce "Bah-luh-ver" (rhymes with "Oliver") instead of "Bo-li-var" like everyone else in the known universe would pronounce it. I have no idea how or why I know this, but it's the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 04:57 PM

It's the Big Irrationals and the Big Imaginaries that have the most problems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 01:52 PM

Some numbers are odder than others, of course, even amongst the Big Odds. Some who have gone up against Big Odds and survived are the oddest number of all.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 12:45 PM

Are the Big Even Numbers nice to the Big Odd Numbers? That word "odd" has a couple of meanings - do the Even Numbers know that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 11:34 AM

It wouldn't have died of old age except for the abuse it underwent at the hands of the Creationists, who kept trying to make it contain the whole world and the dinosaurs. Driven to an early grave by unscientific mathematics, it was mourned but not missed, thanks to MOAB's own, which is well trained not to put up with such malfeasance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 10:41 AM

PETOBEN was very pleased to get a 44,600. The one they had recently died of old age and this is a nice healthy young one. I visited it this morning and it's having a great time romping around the greenswards and playing with the other Big Even Numbers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 10:02 AM

LOL!!

I know those guys--one of my first jobs for the Temple of the Divine Curves was running messages between the Temple's Council for Eternal Vigilance and PETOBEN. We were trying to negotiate an exclusive deal on "44" but it fell through after a long time.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 08:38 PM

Amos, I donated it (anonymously) to People for the Ethical Treatment Of Big Even Numbers (PETOBEN). It's a cause I respect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 06:38 PM

Oh, you know, he'll come up with some subtly nuanced line and flash it at the girls.


"Say, did you know I nailed the MOAB's 44 thousand and six hundredth post? Yeah. I wasn't sure I could do it but Mom always liked me best. Would you like to come up and read it?..."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 04:01 PM

Big number there, Rap. What do you plan to do with it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 03:38 PM

Okay, mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 03:38 PM

Damn, but that boy is a disappointment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM

Rap - I have good news! Shane is not dead. They don't cook with oil any longer at Tim Horton's. All the donuts are made in some central facility, frozen, and shipped out to the stores. So someone has given you false information.

Great news, isn't it? ;-) Shane will still be around to gladden our lives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM

Size doesn't matter. It's how you transit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 01:08 PM

Also, please do all you can to help Mom while she constructs an observatory on the roof, in order to observe the transit of Venus this June. She is hoping to correct serious misinformation about the size of the solar system.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM

Please do, good Sir. It would be an honor to have my word taken by one as edified as your genteel selfg, I am sure.

Little Hawk, the Dachshund is anxious for your return...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 11:17 AM

True, true. But as one who never, ever has indulged in the horrid by-products of fermentation and/or distillation I must take your word for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 12 - 09:33 AM

I find with wetware, a kinder and gentler approach, such as soaking in fine brandy, works to reset all parameters and scramble the magnetic domains comfortably.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 10:04 PM

My ex worked at an office of a federal agency many years ago when PCs were just becoming common office tools. The oddest policy was in place - as long as the thing was running, even if it was old and decrepit, you had to repair it, not replace it. He learned a lot by ordering parts and repairing, or sending them out. They finally figured out that they saved time and a lot of money if the machines simply were - er - reformatted by dropping them hard somewhere on one corner of the box. Concrete usually worked as the surface of choice. And on the box, a back bottom corner was used is my guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 09:25 PM

I know, Amos. To disrupt the magnetic ranges and domains I usually use thermite. Heat does a marvelous job of erasing data.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 08:50 PM

Pounding used to be the standard method of changing the polarity of five-year-old children, but it's now frowned upon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 08:10 PM

Um, that's not the best way to reformat C:, Rapp...I'm jes' sayin'...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM

I think 'most anything hard would work. I've rearranged magnetic ranges and domains by hitting one end of the thing on the concrete floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM

Yes, true. But, must it be done with a ferrous metal pounder?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 04:49 PM

Do you know that one way to change the polarity of magnetism is by pounding on the object? True!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 02:49 PM

Okay, it seems to be working again....

The ability to greatly increase one's specific gravity is not a trait unique to dachshunds. Just ask the parents of a human five-year-old who has been told he can't have the latest Leggo or Transformers thingie. It's like the floor of the Toys-R-Us store has suddenly become the positive pole of the world's largest magnet, and the kid has a negative charge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 02:42 PM

Testing 1-2-3...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 12:26 PM

It's not a question of inflation, Stilly. It's a matter of increasing the effect of the Earth's gravitational attraction on a single, small body, namely the Dachshund. I said that a Dachshund can increase his specific gravity by up to 800% at will! And they can. They become increadibly heavy, sticking to the floor as if to a magnet. They will not be moved! I have no idea how they do it, but they have astonishing abilities in this regard. These abilities are triggered by a desire to avoid:

1. inclement weather
2. baths
3. work
4. and inconvenience of any sort whatsoever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 12:15 PM

A dachshund who is able to inflate himself by 800% on a rainy night?

Of course! He's a member of the Elite Dachshund Special Ops Team referenced about fifty posts back. It's not a natural ability, but one achieved through a combination of selective breeding, genetic modification, intensive training, and heinous fuckery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 12:24 AM

Little Hawk, what's this I read on another thread about a dachshund being able to inflate himself (his specific gravity?) by 800% on a rainy night? Have you published on this topic? Seems to me that in an incredibly important discovery in the world of physics. And possibly in veterinary medicine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 11:02 PM

What??? Again???????? Aw, fer Chrissake! What will North Ontario DO without him?

Boy, the smell must have been...just awful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 10:51 PM

LH, Shame McBride was killed a few hours ago in a tragic accident at Tim's. He apparently grabbed for a doughnut that was still in the fryer, slipped, kicked a rather nasty "biker chick" in the ankle, and she upended him into the boiling grease. The OPP are investigating, but it appears at this time that it is being treated as a "regrettable, but fortunate, accident" and no charges will be made. The grease in the fryer had to be discarded as it was considered "too filthy now" for continued use, according to a spokesman for the doughnut chain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 10:19 PM

Noble words, Amos! With you around to defend civilization, I need never fear that decadence, ignorance, and sloth will achieve anything approaching total victory.

With Shane around, on the other hand, we may have some cause for concern...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 10:13 PM

So, go to Tucson and swing north a little bit and come visit. Eiseley'll put you up if she's sober enough, or you can stay at our place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 09:53 PM

Mudcatters criss-crossing the country. I see the Getaway thread passing up and down the screen these days. I have another trip to Tucson soon, but no further west.

I use the weed whacker to clear the grass growing through the brick patio out back. MOM can pull a chair over there and enjoy breakfast if she wants. Is anyone making muffins or croissants tomorrow? Drop a few by for her, please. I left her some yogurt and fresh fruit. The fly swatter isn't for the flies - it's to keep the dogs out of her breakfast zone. She'll have to eat fast if she's out there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 08:16 PM

Wishful thinking, sirrah; despite all temptations to paste you one, I remain a gentleman, a gentle soul, no matter how earthen my coarse raiment of corporeal matter.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 03:48 PM

I think it had to do with the paste to the left window of his soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 01:49 PM

Too much paste in the sauce? Too much sauce?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 10:13 AM

The eyes of a woman whose soul is near the surface, engaged with her thoughts, are vibrant, awake, irresistible. Those who are otherwise also show it in their eyes--silhouettes on the shade is as close as you get to the real thing.

When you look into their eyes and they are near, you fall into eternity in a heartbeat.

Hey, we had a nice lively dinner last night with a visit from Monteal Mudcatters Dorothy Parsall and Robin. We kicked up quite live and the spaghetti was delicious.

This morning, however, my head is a bit thick for some reason.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 09:50 AM

Then pull your shades down!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 07:11 AM

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.

HEY! NO PEEKIN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 12:44 AM

Clear eyes, gray eyes, very blue eyes - these super light blue eyes like you see in Meg Foster are pretty remarkable. The eyes of poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 09:50 PM

Minds me...

Aside... one of the lines in a song that has truly stuck with me as pure poetry is from a Jethro Tull song "White Innocence"...

"And with the clearest eyes of forever gray."

Such poetry of grand form from the same that wrote "Snot running down his nose. Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes." and far more gross and derogatory lyrics. At odds, it seems.

Perhaps it's all poetry and it's simply my perception of the subject matter and it's presentation that either enrapts me or disgusts me. After all, poetry, and all art, is meant to engage, to effect and affect, to entertain, to disdain, to stimulate whatever emotion and sense.

Being a human is fun, innit? For the most part, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 09:48 PM

Size isn't everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 08:08 PM

Yup. Those eyes are really something.


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Mudcat time: 17 October 11:03 AM EDT

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