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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 21 Apr 12 - 07:11 AM
Acme 21 Apr 12 - 12:44 AM
gnu 20 Apr 12 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 12 - 09:48 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 12 - 08:08 PM
gnu 20 Apr 12 - 06:40 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 12 - 04:32 PM
gnu 20 Apr 12 - 04:27 PM
Acme 20 Apr 12 - 04:18 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 12 - 03:45 PM
Amos 20 Apr 12 - 03:05 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM
GUEST 20 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM
Amos 20 Apr 12 - 01:35 PM
Acme 20 Apr 12 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 12 - 11:35 AM
Amos 20 Apr 12 - 09:49 AM
Acme 20 Apr 12 - 02:09 AM
Acme 20 Apr 12 - 02:05 AM
Amos 19 Apr 12 - 06:33 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 12 - 03:47 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 12 - 02:02 PM
gnu 19 Apr 12 - 01:33 PM
Amos 19 Apr 12 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 12 - 11:07 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 12 - 10:50 AM
Amos 19 Apr 12 - 10:25 AM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 12 - 10:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 12 - 06:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 12 - 06:45 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 12 - 02:11 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 11:10 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 12 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 05:28 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 02:18 PM
Acme 18 Apr 12 - 02:05 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 01:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 12 - 06:24 AM
Acme 18 Apr 12 - 01:44 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 01:20 AM
Amos 17 Apr 12 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 12 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 12 - 07:36 PM
gnu 17 Apr 12 - 06:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 07:11 AM

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.

HEY! NO PEEKIN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 12:44 AM

Clear eyes, gray eyes, very blue eyes - these super light blue eyes like you see in Meg Foster are pretty remarkable. The eyes of poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 09:50 PM

Minds me...

Aside... one of the lines in a song that has truly stuck with me as pure poetry is from a Jethro Tull song "White Innocence"...

"And with the clearest eyes of forever gray."

Such poetry of grand form from the same that wrote "Snot running down his nose. Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes." and far more gross and derogatory lyrics. At odds, it seems.

Perhaps it's all poetry and it's simply my perception of the subject matter and it's presentation that either enrapts me or disgusts me. After all, poetry, and all art, is meant to engage, to effect and affect, to entertain, to disdain, to stimulate whatever emotion and sense.

Being a human is fun, innit? For the most part, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 09:48 PM

Size isn't everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 08:08 PM

Yup. Those eyes are really something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 06:40 PM

"I am content if I genuinely admire the woman..." Me too. And I did admire her, mostly for her personality, sense of humour, intelligence, and so on. I just didn't know she was a lying, coniving, manipulative bitch. She played me like a fiddle from the overture on. I stayed because of a sense of committment and duty, but, in the end, I chose sanity and got out.

Maybe it's a subconcious thing but good looking women with big tits turn me off.

That pic of Winnie turns me on. Her eyes are mezmorizing. If she was smiling, I think I'd melt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 04:32 PM

I am content if I genuinely admire the woman...not just for her figure, but for her entire state of being.

I don't know enough about Winona to be sure about her enitre state of being, but I'll say this: she has wonderful eyes. And she has generally shown very good taste in her choice of movie roles. The unfortunate shoplifting incident scuppered her career at its peak just like Sinead O'Connor's career got scuppered by tearing up a picture of the Pope. Amazing how one little misstep in the spotlight can undo so much, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 04:27 PM

I was married to a GORGEOUS woman with larrrge breasts for 13 years, 5 months, 17 days, 11 and 1/2 hours. Don't get me wrong... we had some good times... during the first week.

I don't like big tits anymore.

There's a song in that. (You don't bring me flowers anymore...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 04:18 PM

You could tuck a woman into a pair of overalls and Little Hawk would be content.

We've been around this loop a few times before in this thread, I do believe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 03:45 PM

Remember this, Amos....size isn't everything.

I can clearly see that Sophia Loren is a strikingly beautiful woman. No question about that. However, she never really turned me on, whereas some others of the time did. Why? Well, that would be a little hard to explain, because it's a very subtle matter. You'd probably have to have a complete understanding of all the lives I've ever lived to even begin to be able to analyze it with any sense of completeness or certainty. It eludes me. I can only say I am aware of it, and that Sophia Loren doesn't ring the bell for me for some reason...something about her facial structure, perhaps (which is, admittedly, very good).

Or it may just be a question of who she reminds me of. Or it might be something else entirely. Maybe it's the look in her eyes. I find something kind of "hard" in the expression of Loren's eyes, and it doesn't pull me in.

Now, have you ever seen the old movie with Jean Simmons and Gregory Peck in it? It's called "The Big Country". Jean Simmons in that movie does ring the bell for me. Why? Well, I'm not sure, but I think it's something about the level of character that she radiates, combined with a certain sense of fragility, combined with great moral strength...and the honest look she has in her eyes.

That moves me. I'm not all that concerned about the size of her breasts, although I imagine they were probably quite attractive, as breasts go.

I'll have to consult Chongo on this and see what he has to say. ;-) My guess is, he'd take either Loren or Simmons on a rainy day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 03:05 PM

Ya see, Rapp, you could have been a Foundation Member!! That's exactly what the duly-erected Board decided to pursue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM

Statistically, grading on the curve doesn't and cannot apply to a limited sample size, whether that sample size is two or fifty. You COULD have a sample where all of the data is "out at one end" rather than falling under a curve of normal distribution. In short, you could be making decisions from a curve of abnormal distribution. For the purposes of the TOTGG I suggest a sample size of no less than 10% of the world's total data and more if possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM

CurveS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 01:35 PM

Rapp:

The smell of the ocean brings back fond mammaries indeed.

Yes, Mamma Sophia was an early admittee into the Temple's Hall of Eternal Gratitude. It's like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, only different. We grade on the curve.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 12:57 PM

Surely she is the founding-goddess of your Temple of Golden Globes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 11:35 AM

What is it in the picture that has you excited, Amos? Is it the ship? The ocean? The fishing nets? Or, as an old salt, is it all three and the memories they bring back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 09:49 AM

Oh, my beating heart... Jeeze, I remember now why she was so widely respected...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 02:09 AM

This is the one I was looking for. Just a hard working fishwife, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 02:05 AM

Sophia has nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 06:33 PM

Human jealousy was not invented yesterday...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 03:47 PM

Bring it on, you despicable infidels! Our valorous fighters will exterminate all who attempt to impede our noble mission! Truly, your doom is written in scarlet letters upon the everlasting white marble walls of eternity! (Arf! Arf!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:02 PM

Our Agents report that the street address of the Jihad headquarters in "Orilla" is located at 835 West Ridge Boulevard. Raw materials for ammunition is stored 0.31 miles away, at bearing 257 degrees. This storage area is bounded by trainee housing and offices on one side and training areas on the other three. We await more information but feel that we would go with what we have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 01:33 PM

"... are there any cultural or historic artifacts there that would bar such a course?"

Gordon Lightfoot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 01:12 PM

He was bound out to roam
Over river and foam
A wild-eyed adventure, a ringer!
While she, all alone
Was doomed to stay home,
So he asked what she'd like him to bring her.

'Though he meant it quite kind
Her wiley young mind
Was quick as a fox when it runs
And she asked, with a tear
For a small souvienier
That weighed at least several tons!

Oh, bring me a menhir, Mein Herr!
From your travels away over there!
When you come back, my dear,
Oh, bring me my menhir,
TO show me how deeply you care!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 11:07 AM

Decoded message from Agent Obelix: WHERE WILD BOAR FOUND ORILLA? FOOD NEEDED TO DELIVER MENHIRS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 10:50 AM

OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT ADVISEMENT


In the event of Dachshund invasion, citizens are advised to disperse copious amounts of "Bitch-in-Heat" spray in ground floor areas of dwellings and retreat to upstairs rooms. Male Dachshunds will not be able to pursue because everybody knows Dachshunds with erections can't climb stairs.

Those living in single-story dwellings should also use "Bitch-in-Heat" spray. It won't keep the Dachshunds at bay, but it will cause them to be more interested in humping your leg than in ripping your throat out.

(Okay, "ripping your throat out" may be a bit hyperbolic. Make that "mauling your ankles".)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 10:25 AM

I don't see how you can expect a million dachshunds to clean up the whole country of Canada when three of them can't even keep one house cleaned up. Do the math, really. The countryside will be littered with chewed up clothing and urine stains. I suggest you recalibrate your fantasizer, buddy.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 10:02 AM

Ah...they're onto us! Too late, suckers! A billion Dachshunds can't be stopped. (no more than a million budgies)

You asked, "are there any cultural or historic artifacts there that would bar such a course?"

Yes. The Stephen Leacock Home. The Orillia Opera House. The Champlaine Monument, and most important of all...the William Shatner School of BAAAAD Acting, located just outside town off Highway 11. It's a lovely campus.

The there's also the historic fire hydrant that Belch Senior used to pee on every morning when he went out to do the rounds. Belch Senior was Orillia's most famous Dachshund. He used to parade around town in the 1920s and '30s, before the war. He was a Dachshund of unusual style and ability, and he smoked cigars! No word of a lie, as Shane would say. Belch would amble over to the smoke shop on Mississauga Street and the owner would give him a cigar. Those were the days when dogs could freely wander about downtown, and no one cared...long gone, alas! At any rate, Belch would walk around with the cigar in his mouth and approach a passerby and give him a commanding look, whereupon the man would stoop down and light the cigar. Belch would then smoke the stogie ostentatiously for the next 15 minutes or so, simultaneously horrifying and impressing all the other dogs, who were not fond of the smoke, but nevertheless acutely aware of the fact that Belch had upstaged them dramatically. He ruled the downtown. He got free sausages from the butcher. He got his face on the front page of the Orillia Packet & Times on numerous occasions. He may well have been the most famous dog of his time. Belch Senior passed away on Christmas Day, 1939, and is buried in the old Catholic Cemetary. One of his numerous progeny, Belch Junior, went on to have a starring role on CBC radio in the 1940s and 50s, playing dogs on various radio suspense and adventure shows. He seamlessly impersonated mountie's faithful German Shepherd companions by barking heroically into the microphone at appropriate times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 06:57 AM

And here's another leaked photo of a team member wearing secret nanotechnology stealth camouflage (CLICK).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 06:45 AM

Here's a leaked photograph of a member of the elite Dachshund Special-Ops team preparing for night-time deployment (CLICK).

Note the night-vision glasses and human-based launch device.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:11 AM

Three crack agents -- Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix -- have been dispatched to scout out this "Orilla." Support is being provided by Getafix.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 11:10 PM

If this is true, then "Orilla" should be taken out because it's a center for the terrorist "Dachshund Jihad." Maybe we should have it exploded, napalmed, strafed, and herbicided into oblivion...I wonder, are there any cultural or historic artifacts there that would bar such a course?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 10:49 PM

What a delight to have ole BeeDub back in the banter dance!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 10:03 PM

They weren't feral. They were a canine special ops squadron trained to leave their little lawn-mines and return to base under the cover of darkness.

The training camp is in a town called Orilla, or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM

My yard appears to have been visited by a vast herd of feral dachshunds, all of whom left their "calling card" behind.

This is not a joke or an exaggeration, either. It's the mortal, ever-lovin' truth!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 05:28 PM

He'd probably like to have a donation rather than clap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM

A round of applause for Max who keeps making Mom's place a better place for us all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM

Humph. Keep your dally on, Mister R., and sooner or later you will be able to lay a dogie low. Just a little one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:18 PM

You betcha, Stilly. Ain't nothin' like Spring roundup: draggin' them dogies to the brandin' fire, stretchin' 'em out, brandin' 'em, cuttin' 'em, put in an earnotch, and turn 'em loose agin. Then put them calf fries into the fire until they pop open and you got some gooooooood eatin'! Add a little beer and the Sons of the Pioneers singin' the background with the stars comin' out one by one an' mebbe in the background a coyote howlin' an' you got the Real Western Experience. It don't git no better'n that, lemme tell ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:05 PM

A sunny good day to you all. Mudcat Central seems to have been updated - has anyone tried loading it from the first post to see how long it takes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:38 PM

I respect anyone who goes into the maw of terror and the unknown with their eyes open, whether sailor, soldier, hobo or physicist.

Especially the physical aspects of terror which shake mortal identity down to its bootlaces.

I do think that adrenalin can be so exciting that it can become its own mission and its own brass standard, which I believe is a sad departure from the original path.

Like the difference between one really good martini and a long chain of half-gallons of Thunderbird.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 06:24 AM

It'd probably be in Spanish, with prices in Colombian currency.

It's a two-sided card. You have to flip it over to see the prices in pesos.

Not too many Cartagena hoes have MBAs, but they can all quote the current Colombian peso to USD exchange rate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:44 AM

Nope.

When it comes to the mud and the blood and the beer

you have to look to cowboys. (Thank you, Johnny Cash)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:20 AM

I and both my brothers, my father, and several uncle, great-uncles, and great-great uncles were in the military, Amos. We and they faced the cannons' roar, the bayonets, the leaden hail, the mud, the stench of death, weevilly hardtack, rotten salt horse, shoddy uniforms, long separations from our families, friends and sweethearts, and all the horrors of war while remaining pure in body and soul. Why, my very own brother became a genuine minister in a genuine Protestant church while he was in Vietnam, and he's a damned good one for a Catholic

No one in my family or the families of anyone I know would "cavort" with wicked women! Never! Some of them barely cavort with their wives, but that might be a function of age.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 11:21 PM

Oh, dear; imaginary players cavorting with imaginary playmates. Was the whole Military Experience just a bad dream?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM

But NO ONE in the US military would EVER consort with...prostitutes! Or even imbibe the tiniest amount of alcoholic beverage except by prescription of a military physician.

If this is true that these...these TRAITORS should be shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 09:30 PM

Well, they never had problems with Secret Service agents hiring prostitutes back in the Clinton administration. Hiring them for ol' Bill was part of the job description.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 09:01 PM

It'd probably be in Spanish, with prices in Colombian currency.

And members of the US military seem to have been involved as well! OUR soldiers and/or sailors and/or airmen, playing around with good-time girls! This is beyond disgusting! The entire underpinnings of the Our Great Republic and its Armed Forces are at risk!

I mean, civilians like the Secret Service are one thing, but not the military!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 07:36 PM

And what's this "cavorting" thing? I've heard that exact verb used on several news segments to describe the agents' behavior.

How much does a pro charge for cavorting? Does she have a laminated card with prices?

Handjob - $25.00
Blowjob - $50.00
Straight Sex - $100.00
Cavorting - $200.00


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 06:31 PM

True Rap. It would have been kept in the closet.


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