Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 25 Mar 12 - 08:13 PM
Acme 25 Mar 12 - 07:23 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 12 - 06:13 PM
gnu 25 Mar 12 - 04:20 PM
Amos 25 Mar 12 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 12 - 02:50 PM
gnu 25 Mar 12 - 01:55 PM
gnu 25 Mar 12 - 11:46 AM
Amos 25 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 12 - 10:07 AM
Amos 25 Mar 12 - 12:58 AM
Rapparee 24 Mar 12 - 11:36 PM
gnu 24 Mar 12 - 10:04 PM
Amos 24 Mar 12 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 12 - 06:04 PM
Amos 24 Mar 12 - 05:50 PM
gnu 24 Mar 12 - 03:36 PM
Acme 24 Mar 12 - 12:45 PM
Amos 24 Mar 12 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 12 - 11:58 AM
Amos 24 Mar 12 - 11:21 AM
Amos 24 Mar 12 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 23 Mar 12 - 09:27 PM
Amos 23 Mar 12 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 12 - 01:31 PM
Amos 23 Mar 12 - 11:26 AM
Little Hawk 23 Mar 12 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 23 Mar 12 - 09:58 AM
Little Hawk 22 Mar 12 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 12 - 09:18 PM
Acme 22 Mar 12 - 05:10 PM
gnu 22 Mar 12 - 01:31 PM
Acme 22 Mar 12 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 12 - 10:11 AM
Amos 21 Mar 12 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 12 - 09:48 PM
Little Hawk 21 Mar 12 - 09:30 PM
Amos 21 Mar 12 - 08:54 PM
MMario 21 Mar 12 - 07:33 PM
Acme 21 Mar 12 - 07:18 PM
Amos 21 Mar 12 - 06:45 PM
gnu 21 Mar 12 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 12 - 04:23 PM
Little Hawk 21 Mar 12 - 03:25 PM
gnu 21 Mar 12 - 03:00 PM
Eiseley 21 Mar 12 - 02:53 PM
GUEST,Rev. Jimmy Lee Staggers 21 Mar 12 - 12:21 PM
Amos 21 Mar 12 - 12:17 PM
Little Hawk 21 Mar 12 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 21 Mar 12 - 09:17 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 08:13 PM

Texas ain't in the middle. And I don't do HEAT. I am Irish, red hair (well some), blue eyes, fair skin, so I would light on fire in Texas. Anyway, I would love to meet all of you for a session. But, that would require a lottery win so I'll just keep wasting $ on tickets and hope for the best. See youse all soon. >;-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 07:23 PM

All of this scooting around the perimeter states of the US and a side trip into Canukistan to pick up people - the simplest thing is for everyone to head straight for the middle. You got it, Texas.

Just let me know so I can set up some camping spots if I run out of beds in the house. The dogs will enjoy some company out in the yard.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 06:13 PM

If you got really, really lucky you'd snare someone like Jacqui, like Kendall did.

Or you can just enjoy. Hell, I'll teach you the trumpet and in a couple days -- no more! -- you'll play as well as I do. Beside, anybody can play and/or sing (just turn on the radio or TV), but not everyone can cook. And if there ain't no cooks there ain't no singers or players.

Yeah, it's tough. But you also got MOABites to cheer you on. Just take Amos...please.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 04:20 PM

You sound like my cousins and The Irish Society. Play... sing...

What do you not unerstand about "I Can't." And it sucks.

As for the ganglion, my doc tells me surgery might work for six months and then, who knows. Cortizone shots are not an option on accounta what happened to a buddy. Smackin it IS an option but I got a better way... swing a hammer building something. It works. But, as soon as I play again, the SOB comes back. So, seeing as how I don't make a living at it, I chose to listen rather than play. Yes, I am miserable over it but I can still masturbate... slowly... which is the way I like it and at least that's a compromise.

There. Now are youse listening? I can cook, clean and listen but I can't play or sing. I see Dr. Marie-Josée Allard at 10:50 tomorrow to have my vocal cords inspected and decide what's next. First op was in 1998. I hope there are no more.

Sorry for the rant. I am feelin low.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 03:43 PM

I'll bring a spare geetar for you to plunk on, Gnuzer. And you still have a voice. You and Kendall can split duties--you make the voice and he'll do the filthy gestures...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:50 PM

So? You can get a ganglion cyst removed; I've had it done. Or you can whack it with a hard object; I've done that too, inadvertently, but I don't recommend it. Pick up Beer AND Kendall. Heck, bring Jacqui too. In fact, start a convoy; add Spaw as you pass through Ohio and swing up to Michigan get Big Mick.

Bring the 'rhans, if you can't play 'em we can use 'em for targets.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 01:55 PM

Last kitchen session I had was with Beer. 2007.08.17. Just us. A wonderful night repleat with beer, fine scotch, BBQd steaks with all the trimmins and a lovey pie I baked (at my house, I'll put on the dog fer guests) and we swapped geetars even tho I couldn't play or sing worth shit. Beer tells a different story, but I think the booze affected his hearing.

And, to cap it all off, I preformed a magic trick. Rubbed my cheek just under my ear and said, "Adrien, can you see a lump?" to which he answered yes. He watched in amazement as I massaged the lump from under my ear to just in front of the "hard part" of the cheek, at which time the area decribed began to swell until I looked like a lopsided chipmunk. A parotid stone had lodged in the duct and dammed the flow of saliva. Thus began 5 months of hell all because the doc didn't believe my story. F'in quack!

Didn't even get to eat much of my supper but that made more room for alcohol... which I was in need of.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 11:46 AM

A... fact is, I can't. Smoking, a wrist ganglion and arthritis. Sold my geetar, mandy... gave away my whistles, bones. Still have my Rhans... gonna leave em to the church and piss off my cousins, the ungrateful Irish bastards.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM

Now that's a crackerjack idea, providing it's done int he Spring. ABsolutely crackerjack. Lay it, Bookmeister!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 10:07 AM

Both of ya drop by here -- I got more room. Bring LH and Stilly and 999 and Old dude; gnu, pick up Kendall on the way.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 12:58 AM

Couldn't have been much of a party, eh?

I feel for ya, Gnuzer. Come out here and we'll do some jams!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 11:36 PM

Since next Sunday is Palm Sunday and the next Sunday is Easter, it's time for my First Annual Heresy (my local pastor is aware of this and has given me both an imprimatur and a nihil obstat).

Do you realize that, according to the Bible, Jesus of Nazareth wasn't even in town for His Own resurrection? See John 19:40-42.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 10:04 PM

I was mistaken for Stan by many pub patrons on a number of nights at the pubs I played. I was fatter but, at a bit of a distance, I looked like him and, when I could sing, I sounded somewhat like him. My mate Chris used to call me Stan. I thought it was a wonderful compliment.

I often think of Chris these many years later. I think he is now a commercial jet pilot flying out of Iqaluit, Nunavut. His spoons were great and he could play a mean geetar. A bit of fiddle too. And when he would play the tin whistle to my Rhan, I was in heaven. His rendition of THE BAND PLAYED WALTZING MATILDA (sorry for the caps lock) was always the last song at our, well, MY, kitchen sessions, by my request. Never failed to make me cry. The lad is good. I miss having sessions. I truly miss the music. God giveth and God pisses you off. Ya got no say eh.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 08:05 PM

WEll, I had heard a couple of them, but the Mare had escaped me somehow.

Thanks for the links.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 06:04 PM

Gee. I'm really and truly am surprised about that, Amos. I'd have thought you'd run across "Harris and the Mare" before today. Have you heard "Canol Road," "Night Guard," and "The Idiot?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 05:50 PM

COuldn't agree more. Love that guy.

In purusing assorted literary sites, I came across a really funny summary of a literary parody:

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-five Cat Who... mysteries, is now the subject of a mystery herself. In Robert Kaplow's brilliant and bawdy parody, Ms. Braun's headless body has been discovered in the men's room of a bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are busy filming reality television shows, so it falls to Braun's writer friend James Qafka and his Siamese cats, Ying-Tong and Poon-Tang, to solve the ghastly mystery.

Q's quest leads him on a wildly satirical chase that combines the spirits of Lenny Bruce, Dashiell Hammett, and the Hope/Crosby "Road" pictures. Before it's over, we've encountered a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist, a sex-starved suburban housewife, a mysterious Hollywood diary, Harry Houdini, a sinister cult, and two gifted cats who lead Q. and his spunky undergraduate assistant to finally unravel the riddle of The Cat Who Killed Lilian Jackson Braun.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 03:36 PM

Stan. What a man.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 12:45 PM

I'll go for short and no messy diacriticals:

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

--William Carlos Williams (whose name is almost as long as that poem.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 12:42 PM

Dear Lord, Rapp, what an orful, blood-chilling, beautiful poem.

Thanks for it; I had ne'er seen it before today!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 11:58 AM

Harris and the Mare
      Stan Rodgers

Harris, my old friend, good to see your face again
More welcome, though, yon trap and that old mare
For the wife is in a swoon, and I am all alone
Harris, fetch thy mare and take us home.
The wife and I came out for a quiet glass of stout
And a word or two with neighbors in the room.
But young Clary, he came in, as drunk and wild as sin
And swore the wife would leave the place with him.
But the wife as quick as thought said, "No, I'll bloody not"
Then struck the brute a blow about the head.
He raised his ugly paw, and he lashed her on the jaw
And she fell onto the floor like she were dead.
Now Harris, well you know, I've never struck an angry blow
Nor would I keep a friend who raised his hand;
I was a conscie in the war, cryin' "What the hell's this for?"
But I had to see his blood to be a man.
I grabbed him by his coat, spun him 'round and took his throat
And beat his head upon the parlor door.
He dragged out an awful knife, and he roared "I'll have your life"
And he stuck me and I fell onto the floor.
Now blood I was from neck to thigh, bloody murder in his eye
As he shouted out "I'll finish you for sure!"
But as the knife came down, I lashed out from the ground
And the knife was in his breast and he rolled o'er.
Now with the wife as cold as clay I carried her away --
No hand was raised to help us through the door,
And I've brought her half a mile, but I've had to rest a while
And none of them I'll call a friend no more.
For when the knife came down, I was helpless on the ground
No neighbor stayed his hand, I was alone
By God, I was a man, but now I cannot stand --
Please, Harris, fetch thy mare, take us home!
Oh, Harris, fetch thy mare, and take us out of here
In my nine and fifty years I've never known
That to call myself a man, for my loved one I must stand --
Now Harris, fetch thy mare take us home.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 11:21 AM

i sing of Olaf glad and big         
by E. E. Cummings



i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelov?d colonel(trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but--though an host of overjoyed
noncoms(first knocking on the head
him)do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds,without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but--though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion        
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf(upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified        
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ(of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 09:22 AM

How dost thy friend, yon Rapparee
Improve each shining hour?
By wandering very dutifully,
From flower unto flower.

Chesapeake R. Brookes III,
Oyster Bay NEw York, 1939


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 09:27 PM

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


       --"Big Billy" Yeats, The Second Coming


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 05:50 PM

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
       Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake,
       And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
       So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrelŐs granary is full,
       And the harvestŐs done.

I see a lily on thy brow,
       With anguish moist and fever-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
       Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,
       Full beautifulŃa faeryŐs child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
       And her eyes were wild.


(Keats! KEats!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 01:31 PM

I may have noted this before, and if I did I apologize for the repetition:

Long ago, in a galaxy far away, I was a cop and I was brought up on police brutality charges. They were investigated and dismissed.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 11:26 AM

I dunno--it might teach ole Rappa a thing or two, kind of like "Junior's first dose".


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 11:10 AM

You're right about that, Rap. Nothing is worse than an infestation of cops.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 09:58 AM

No, it might attract cops. An infestation of cops is a lot worse than box elder bugs. For example, box elder bugs don't eat all your doughnuts. Besides, all I have are fragmentation, thermite and white phosphorous grenades...used all the others for the 4th of July.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 11:13 PM

Yell, "KREE-GAH!!!" and riddle the entire garden with 50 caliber bullets, followed by a volley of stun grenades. That's what Chongo would do.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 09:18 PM

Use a 10 gauge and really teach 'em a lesson! Or better still, a cannon loaded with grapeshot. You might want to keep the dogs inside when you do this.

There a swarms of box elder bugs in the mulch!!! Death to Box Elder Bugs!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 05:10 PM

Grrr. Cutworms in the garden. Chomping on my tomatoes.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 01:31 PM

Green is good. Red will raise your blood pressure and stress level. Now, stop staring at the walls and get to work.

"premature emulation"... hehehe


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 12:19 PM

I moved my LED sculptural kind of light (it's a base with buttons for different colors that feeds into a beautiful tall acrylic lens). On the radio this morning they said that a red wall in your office will help keep you more on task, and blues and greens are more distracting or restful. My office is green, so I've moved the red light to help motivate me. Who knew that a red light district was more productive?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 10:11 AM

Mellifluous honey-like tones oozing slowly and sweetly from my mouth, and swallowing my words imparts exquisite sweetness while raising my blood glucose. Wisdom winding its way to the auricular organs of others, clad in the most palatable prose possible.

Wow! I can "do" AMOS!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 11:25 PM

Choose your deities wisely, good bookmanne. I really don't qualify. I would only let you down. Even if I do have a melodious mellifluous marvelously merry and mirthful baritone.

A
First Vowel


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 09:48 PM

Tho...then I can thpeak like Daffy Duck. Or P-p-p-p-porky Pig. Or even (dare I attempt it?) Amos?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 09:30 PM

I am ALWAYS ready to talk like Shatner. It is a sacred mission, a sworn duty, an eternal crusade.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 08:54 PM

The Manne of Emms!! Hail, blithe spirit!!

Little Hawk: Don't talk like Shatner UNTIL tomorrow or we'll take you in for treatment for a bad case of premature emulation.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 07:33 PM

Hi Mom! Miss me?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 07:18 PM

LH, Eiseley posted that link to the video about talk like Shatner day. Which is TOMORROW.

Are you ready?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 06:45 PM

There goes the lucky fellow gnu
With Forty-Four and Two!
It was not an inspired post,
But it will have to do.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 04:39 PM

I signed on last October for 3.24 times less than my 5 year GICs yielded at that time. Ouch! Cruise missiles are FAR too expensive.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 04:23 PM

Does this savings pay a decent rate of interest? The one at my bank stinks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 03:25 PM

JLOTMABLMYAIKE!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 03:00 PM

If I agree to be saved and then cannot be saved, do I get to keep the knives?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 02:53 PM

Does that offer come with a set of Ginsu knives?

Eiseley


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rev. Jimmy Lee Staggers
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 12:21 PM

You're all going to Hell, you sinners! Believing that a monkey is the same as a man, that a fat Canadian is as good as an American, undermining the precious liberties upon with this country was founded! You will be carrying burning brimstone over melting sands, crying for help, and God will turn His back on you because of your sins!

I, too, once sinned! I admit it! But God forgave me and so did those in my church and now I walk in The Light! Repent, for there is still time! God will forgive after a suitable penance! Bend your knees and kneel, bow your stiff necks and pray! Reach into the treasure you have laid up on Earth and give all that you have!

You CAN still be saved!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 12:17 PM

That's the sort of mellerdrammer Chongo will stay up all night to watch.

I am back at the Orifice, heeding the Orifician Oracle and calculating impedances for a two channel colocated dual polarity detecting antenna system. Is that great, or what? Definitely 'what'.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 11:54 AM

That was pretty impressive drama, Rap. Poor Jar Jar! Let's hope he gets his revenge in Part 9 or whatever part comes next.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 09:17 AM

This commemorates an event that happened to my nephew, John, some years ago. I thought it somehow fitting to bring it to your attention.


                        John's Deer


                It was mid-November of ninety-two --
                Deer season, opening day --
                John was sitting on a southern slope
                With Ralph fifty yards away.

                Ralph's my brother's oldest
                And John is squeezed between
                Ralph and niece Elizabeth --
                Someday John may be fourteen.

                Yes, Ralph's John's older brother.
                And I wasn't there to see
                When John dropped his first buck deer,
                But Ralph told it all to me.

                "Dawn broke nice and quiet
                It barely brushed the sky with pink
                We'd been on stand for half an hour
                Or thereabouts, I think.

                "Suddenly shots were all around!
                It sounded like a heckuva fight!
                But when I poked my head up I found
                They were fifty yards to the right.

                "Those shots just kept on coming
                But when I looked around I saw
                John putting shot after quickly aimed shot
                Downhill, into the draw!

                "And then he tossed away his weapon,
                And in the early morning light
                John lit the fuse and tossed downhill
                A stick of dynamite!

                "It exploded and I started toward him.
                He was yelling to beat the band!
                And then suddenly he jumped off of the ridge
                Clutching a knife in his right hand.         

                "When I got to the ridge I saw him
                Crouching in the blasted wood,
                Stabbing and cutting a little spike buck --
                John saw me, waved, and stood.

                "'I got him, Ralph!' he hollered,
                But I think he's still alive!'
                And over the cliff John tossed that very dead deer
                In a two hundred fifty foot dive.

                "When we finally got down to him
                That buck was as dead as dead could be.
                He carried a rack of two or three points,
                But John swore thirty-three!

                "To get that deer out of the creek
                Was a job and a half, I'd say!
                It took us all day and half the night
                And my back still aches today.

                "We stuck two four wheel drive pickups
                Broke a winch and an ATV.
                Finally Dad brought in a D-9 Cat
                And moved the hills away.
        
                "We had to build a road to that old deer
                We built three bridges and filled in two bogs,
                Leveled mountains and drilled four tunnels
                And lumbered out five thousand logs.

                "We butchered at last that old deer up
                (John wanted to mount the head)
                We got seven pounds of meat from it,
                And eighty pounds of lead."

                Now, I don't believe Ralph for a minute!
                He stretches the truth some, you know --
                'Cause I've seen John's venisonburger,
                And the bullet holes hardly show!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 October 2:18 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.